A wild oneshot appeared!
Title: Be with
Word count: 1,618
Pairing: taengsic
A/N: This shizz has been sitting on mah HDD for a year+ time for it to be released! OTL
Prompt: Because Jessica said that she calls people while she is drunk, and she doesn't remember what happens afterwards…
*
People always expect something special to happen in their lives, but expectation was; in every way, vain. Whether you're begging to the rain for a miracle to shine or whether you're silently praying for a wish to come true; that something special will find its way to never happen. It just would never will, you knew it, you remembered it; you recited the disappointments like a bible. But likewise, stubbornness was and always will be: your forte.
*
Your friends have said for you to stop, to be yourself, and to move on. Just delete her from your contact list and erase her from your memory, they would always say. But how can you do that? It's impossible, because you already have everything remembered to the hollow cores of your bone. Every single detail was etched like a knife paining on your heart, funny, really it's funny, you scowled at the jittery blinking cell phone screen.
She called again, but you hesitated. Will you pick it up this time? You argued for a second, then another second. Sweat beads formed on your temples, you're worrying again. It was already night time now, and everyone was off to sleep; except her. She will not sleep at this time, even if she loved sleeping, no, scratch that - she used to love sleep. But now she doesn't, why … why why?
"Hey-" You didn't know why you picked up, but it was already too pointless to find out why.
"Come…" Her sentence broke, and you could almost taste the alcohol that lingered on her lips at the end of the line. You know you're not a psychic, but this happened once too many times that you knew what would happen next. "Now."
You took in a deep breath, you must stop her. Just so you could stop yourself from hurting. "No you come back ho-"
"She's my home." You heard a croak, she's crying now. "Come here-"
It pained you didn’t it? That when she said the word home, it was not you. But weren't you her home too? Weren't you a tall oak tree that let the girl rest under your shades? Weren't you the person that softly put her to bed? No, you're not - but - but, just that but- your legs moved deceitfully, betraying your every command to stop.
"I-I'll be right there." You always thought that a miracle would happen, and everything will not be repeated. "Wait for me."
And as you're about to exit with a coat loosely hung around your back, money stuff cruelly into your jeans - another person grabbed you by the arm, clenching your skin, eyes imploring - saying that this, what you were doing…
"She doesn't deserve it." You heard Tiffany say. "Tae-"
"No." You shook your head. "She's our friend. I need to." With that you freed your arms off her grip. "I need to Fany-ah."
And as you close the doors, and put your feet into the old ragged shoes, you heard the latter sigh; a sigh of words that didn’t break your heart, but hers.
"She's your friend, not mine, not anymore."
*
You always knew that nightclubs weren't your place, but you came here anyways, she requested didn't she? She said it, didn't she? Making your way through the crowd and clouds of cigarettes, you stumbled and landed on a support. You regained your balance quickly and looked up, she's there, her blonde hair shimmering under multi-coloured lights, make up washed by tears.
"Jessica let's go home." Although you know you were not her home, you can at least act like you are, or just fool yourself, either way it was the same.
"Why are you here?" She slurred, her breath came with alcohol that told the same stories of the empty bottles on the table. Her hands held the same phone she called you. "Why." She pointed her phone at you.
"You called." You said and walked towards her and slipped a hand under her arms. "Let's go… come on, up you come-"
"I said, why are you here?!" She snarled and pushed you away. "Why?!"
Her voice was loud, high, almost shrieking, you thanked that you were in a club not some quiet bar. She writhed under your grip, battering your arms with her fists, tears streaking down her beautiful cheeks. Who changed her? You always questioned even though you know the answer, she changed her, Yuri changed. Yuri made her like this.
You can't answer it though you didn't even know why you're here. It's her habit to be like this, messily calling other people when she's drunk, and she cannot even remember your name. So you just abided, let her habit slip this time, like last time, and next time. "Please Jessica, it's late now…"
"It's not. No, everything is not too late-" Her voice broke like glass, and you know that you just used the wrong words. "I can wait you know?" You know that Jessica's mind was not with you, it's off to somewhere, where Yuri is.
"Like wait for her."
But it's good, just like that - Jessica always relaxed when she talked about Yuri, and in a way. You can use it to your advantage. "Like how she says on the phone, or when she's late to pick me up after work and schedules…"
You let her say the words, funny really, Yuri wasn't here to pick her up. It was you, who was the one. "No-Jessica, Yuri isn't here…"
"Liar." She sang and you knew she's fully drunk, her eyes curved into candy lit moons, her blonde hair peppered on her forehead. She was dehydrating. "Liar… little liar…" She took her index finger and trended it on your face.
But you know, her words were not directed to you, it was directed through you. Like how she always see you, like a non-existent. "I don't lie Jessica." You forced yourself to say the words while you pulled her into you.
"I don't-"
But she does. Jessica lied all the time, she even lied to the kiss, the one that she was giving to you right now. Her arm swung over your shoulder, the other holding a table, you voluntarily gave in. Locking your hands to her waist, wanting more, wanting more of this lie, fine - Yuri - lie, lie of her; because you're just a stubborn fool that cared only for being with her.
She broke away from your lips, you taste bitter alcohol and she looked hazily into your eyes. "I love you, love you-"
You decided to kiss her silent, begging for the taste a second time. Not that you will push her away or anything. No, you're her home now, her support, her little pillar. But in reality it's not true, you just fool that to yourself because by tomorrow she'll forget everything.
And blindly you shut yourself from the roaring crowd, let her tongue open your heart that cried in the corner because you just want her to forget that name.
"I will never forget you Yuri-"
Her words sting a scar, you're such a fool.
*
"Taeyeon."
You turned around; Yuri was next to you watching the cheer leader squad prying around. Her skin was pale and quite lifeless compared to the last time you saw her.
"Can I ask you a favor?"
You turned around; of course you could always do your bestfriend a favor.
"Yeah-"
"Love her." You shrugged; hands became numb as your eyes see Yuri's her. "Love Jessica."
You felt your mouth hasped. "Love her like how she loves me." You know what Yuri said was selfish, but what could you do?
You couldn't do anything but accept, swear on a grave, holding a bible in your hand even though you're not Christian. But you could be, because god just gave you the hardest task: Love her with your everything, love her 'till your last breath, and make her happy even though that happiness did not involve you.
"Love her for me."
*
The apartment's door opened and you trotted forward, Jessica in your arms, your coat messily dropped to the floor as you take her to the couch. You're so tried but you forced your eyes to open as you lay her down softly. Her hair, you brushed them backwards, and touched her forehead gently with your lips.
She smelled so sweet like strawberry that a person like you could not pick. And locking your pathetic thoughts away, you stood up, look at the clock and it's 3AM now. No point of sleeping anymore, your work as a DJ, whose shift started at 4AM. And so, leaving her there you stood up and urged your heart not to break down, you exit with the smell of alcohol, smell of her… haunting you.
Killing you
*
And at the end, as the night began to fade into day break, you shut your eyes. Your exhausted body leaned against the wall as you slid down with an inexplicable sigh. She's not on the couch anymore, you never begged her to stay here albeit you begged a silent hope. Jessica was gone to her home, where Yuri was attached to wires and a breathing machine, living the last of her- you did not dare to call it life. Because like today, like tomorrow, or like some other day… it was all your doing and paining, not Yuri's.
And conspiratorially, words stumbles from your thickening throat. "I'm going to be okay" even if she will not be with you like how you expected…
It's vain.