Ethan/Kristina, Near To You (6/10)
Author: sarahbell05
Fandom: General Hospital
Characters/Pairing: Ethan Lovett/Kristina Davis
Table: Relationship
Prompt: Forgiveness
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of domestic abuse and underage sex.
Warnings: Kristina is 17 and Ethan is in his early twenties.
Word Count: 2576
Summary: Ethan tries to make things right.
Notes: Whoo-hoo, it didn't take me four months! :) Hope you all enjoy and know that all of your kind reviews mean the world to me.
Forgiveness
For the next month, Ethan is like a ghost. He doesn't leave the Haunted Star, just goes downstairs to bartend and heads back up to his flat as soon as his shift is over. He says a handful of words to Luke and flat ignores Lucky and Lulu's texts and calls. He hasn't even attempted to contact Kristina since that morning she had shown up at his flat.
Therefore, when Lulu shows up at his door, he's fully prepared to shut it in her face. She's ready though, and has swiped her father's copy of the key. Almost as soon as he locks it she's unlocked the damn thing and is standing in his living room, hands on her hips. He decides the best option is to sit on the couch and pretend to watch the football match currently playing. It seems his sister is not having it though, and grabs the remote from his hand and turns it off.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he yells, louder than he meant, but doesn't regret it.
"Me? What about you?" she retorts, throwing her hands in his general direction. "I have it on good authority you haven't left the Haunted Star in a month!"
"Excuse me for working." he snaps, and he knows he's being a brat but he can't muster up the energy to care.
"Oh, come on Ethan. This place is barely open, it's just dad's glorified playground. You cannot expect me to believe that you're so suddenly swamped with work you can't reply to any of my phone calls."
Ethan doesn't respond, and Lulu just sighs exasparatedly. "What about Kristina? Have you talked to her?" she asks, and every muscle in Ethan's body reacts. He locks up, and he knows that Lulu sees it.
"Ethan, what happened?" she asks gently, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
"I don't want to talk about it." he replies as he jumps up from the couch and heads for the solace of the kitchen. Lulu, being Lulu, follows him, unwilling to let it go so easily.
"Dante told me you came by the morning after we all went to Jake's. He wouldn't tell me why you were there though. Did something happen with Kristina? Is she okay?" At this, Ethan faces his sister and sees the genuine concern for him etched across her face.
"I slept with her." The words escape his mouth before he can stop them, and suddenly Lulu's expression changes to one of shock.
"Yeah," he continues, smirking. "And then, predictably, I managed to screw it up in the worst way possible."
Lulu doesn't press him for more information, just moves closer to him and places a reassuring hand on his arm.
"I'm sure you can fix it." she says after a moment, and Ethan shakes his head.
"Not this time." he replies. "I made love with Kristina and then went and slept with Maya the next day."
He half expects Lulu to slap him at this admission, and when she doesn't he lets his gaze meet hers. There's shock there, but also pity, which makes him feel even worse about the whole situation. No one should be feeling pity for him of all people.
"Does Kristina know?" she asks, and he nods. "Ethan, what happened?"
Ethan rubs his hands over his face and shrugs. "I don't know, I don't remember. One minute Maya and I were eating burgers and drinking, and the next Kristina was at my door and Maya was in my shirt."
Lulu sighed, and the two fell into silence before she pulled him into a hug.
"It'll be okay Ethan, trust me. But only if you at least try to fix things with Kristina."
Before he can respond, she turns and leaves his flat, and he's alone again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours after Lulu leaves, he gets a text from her asking him to meet her on the docks and that it's an emergency. His concern for his little sister overcomes his wish to remain in the sanctuary of his flat and he quickly changes and leaves, walking the short distance from the casino to the docks.
He should have known the text was suspicious, that Lulu always had some kind of plan up her sleeve, but the thought didn't even cross his mind until he saw Kristina standing on the docks where they had first exchanged phone numbers.
She hears his footsteps and turns. Shock is evident on her face when she sees him, but she doesn't run, which Ethan supposes is a good sign. He moves closer to her, and he sees there's something...different about her. Her skin is paler, the dark circles under eyes evident. She's still gorgeous as usual though, and Ethan feels that familiar tightening in his stomach from being in her presence. He gets within a few feet of her before she starts to move back, and Ethan freezes.
"Hi." he tries, after a tense silence settles over them. It's lame, but it's all he has.
"Hi." she replies, but she refuses to meet his gaze.
"Lulu?" he asks, and she nods. "I figured." he replies.
"I, uh...I should go..." she starts, but Ethan reaches out for her arm before she can turn away from him completely.
"Wait, baby, please..." she flinches at that and yanks her arm out of his grasp.
"Don't." she hisses, and he sees the tears well up in her eyes. "Don't call me that."
"Will you at least listen to what I have to say?" he asks, but at this she turns on him, eyes blazing.
"Why? Why should I?" she asks, and she moves toward him. He might be a good head taller than her, but he suddenly feels as if she's towering over him and he is sure now that there is a part of her father in her.
"I swore, after Kiefer, that I would never, never let anyone hurt me like that again. But you...the way you hurt me...it's worse."
Ethan has no response, and he feels even more like the biggest scumbag to ever walk the earth.
"Krissy, I never meant to hurt you. I would never want to do anything to cause you pain, ever." he says after a moment.
"But you did. You did. I woke up, and you were gone. Without a word, without anything, you were just...gone. I thought maybe I had imagined the whole thing, that I had wanted you so much for so long that I was finally losing it completely. Then, I went to your apartment and find you with Maya Ward? I just...I just don't understand why."
Her voice breaks at the end and the tears are spilling down her cheeks. Ethan can't fight the urge any longer and he pulls her to him. The sensation of her in his arms is so familiar, and she only fights him for a moment before collapsing against him, the sobs racking her tiny body. His voice becomes a mantra of "I'm sorry," that he repeats until the shock of his own tears prevents him from continuing. He remembers the last time he cried - his parents' funeral when he was sixteen. He'd never cried since then, never let anything affect him in that way. But now, knowing the pain he had caused the one person he'd never wanted to hurt, was more than he could contain.
At some point, Kristina asks to go back to his apartment and Ethan agrees, knowing they need more privacy than the docks can afford. They walk back to the Haunted Star in silence, and Kristina calms down, but doesn't let go of his jacket or move away from him. He unlocks the door to his flat and Kristina goes in first, moving away from him for the first time. She takes a seat on the couch, as far on one end as she can get. He takes the cue and sits on the other end, giving her the space she needs. She rests her head on one hand and stares off into space, and Ethan takes a moment to guiltily take in her presence in his flat. It was something he had sorely missed over the last month.
"I have to know why." she finally says, her soft voice penetrating the silence of the flat.
Ethan sighs heavily, and takes a moment before responding.
"I don't...I don't know." he tries, but he watches as she tenses up and decides he needs to be honest, with her and with himself.
"I woke up that morning with you, and I felt....right, I guess. Like everything in my life had been leading up to that moment. You were lying next to me - on top of me really." he chuckles a little at that before continuing. "And you looked....so beautiful, but so young and so innocent. It was then that I realized how much you had been through that night, with Molly, and I had taken advantage of that. So I left to clear my head, to sort out what I was feeling. I ended up at the park and...well, Maya was there. We had some dinner, just as friends, and then we started drinking. It was stupid, I know, but I just...I needed to forget, just for a little while." He ran his hands through his hair, sighing again before continuing. Kristina still wasn't looking at him but he knew she was listening.
"My feelings for you, they're complicated. Much more complicated than I've ever felt for any other woman. You're my best friend, the best one I've ever had, and I was worried that I'd ruined that forever. So I got completely smashed, and....I don't remember anything else until you showed up here the next morning."
He finishes, and Kristina is still silent. He doesn't say anything, doesn't move, for a good five minutes until she responds.
"I don't forgive you." she says, and Ethan feels his stomach drop at her words. That was it then.
She turned to him and finally looked him in the eye again, and for once Ethan couldn't read what was there.
"I don't forgive you." she repeated. "I'm not sure I ever will. But we have to move on from this. You're my best friend too, Ethan. You're the only person who sees me for who I really am. You don't see me as Alexis Davis and Sonny Corinthos' daughter, or the girl who let her boyfriend beat her on a regular basis, or as this fragile child who needs to be protected. You see me, and I need that. I've loved you since that Thanksgiving with the pumpkin cookies, and I've been in love with you for just as long. I'm not sure where we go from here, but I need you in my life."
Ethan lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, but he realized the best thing he could do now was to stay silent. After a moment, Kristina reached for the remote and began channel surfing before settling on a movie.
"Popcorn?" she asked, giving him a hint of a smile.
At that moment, Ethan would have given her anything she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time the movie's over, Kristina is dozing on his shoulder. They haven't said more than a handful of words to one another, but Ethan can tell they're on the right track. It's getting late, though, so he nudges her until she wakes up.
"It's late, Krissy. Alexis will be wondering where you are." he says once he's sure she's at least half-awake but she shakes her head and burrows into his side.
"Mmm-mm. She's in New York with Mac, Molly's at Sam's." she mumbles and is pretty much asleep before the sentence leaves her mouth. She must have been more exhausted than he thought.
Ethan smiles but knows he needs to get them in a more comfortable position to sleep. He slides off the couch and brings her into his arms as he stands up. She mumbles something he can't understand, but doesn't wake up. He moves them into the bedroom and somehow manages to pull the blankets back enough to slip her underneath them. He strips off his jeans and necklaces before sliding into the other side. He meant to keep his distance, but Kristina quickly flipped over and seemed to find him almost instantly. His arm instinctively went underneath her head and she curled into him. Exhausted himself, Ethan fell asleep almost instantly, geting his first good night's sleep in weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the first time since their only time together that he's slept through the night. When he begins to come back to consciousness, he realizes they've shifted during the night. He's curled around Kristina's petite body and she's pressed up against him. The arm not under her neck is wrapped around her waist and hers is resting on top of that arm. They're completely intertwined and Ethan's pretty sure he's never felt more at peace. He had accepted the full spectrum of his feelings for Kristina after she had left his flat that morning.
He, Ethan Lovett, was absolutely, head over heels, stupid ridiculous in love with Kristina Davis.
They had a lot to overcome (the age difference, her parents, his family, and his mistake with Maya just being the tip of the iceberg), but as long as she was in his life he was fairly sure they could survive it. This kind of faith was something he had never experienced with anyone, and he was both excited and scared out of his mind.
He was more than content to lay there as long as possible, but Kristina was beginning to wake up. He went to loosen his grip on the girl, still not sure how she would feel about their current positions, but she only turned over and pulled him closer to her.
"Morning." she mumbled, still half-asleep, and Ethan laughed and dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head.
"Morning love." he greeted, and he saw her smily lazily.
However, almost as soon as the smile appeared on her face it was gone, replaced by a painful grimace.
"Oh, god." Kristina mumbled, pushing Ethan off of her and practically leaping out of the bed. He sat up to follow wherever she was going, but she made a beeline for the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. There was silence for a moment before he heard the distinct sounds of retching. He got up from the bed and stood at the door, knowing there wasn't a whole lot to do for her if she was sick. When there was nothing but silence for a few minutes he knocked on the door lightly.
"Baby, are you alright?" he knew she wasn't, but he didn't know what else to say.
After a moment he heard the sink running and then she reappeared, looking less green but decidedly unhappy.
"I'm ok." she replied, but once again she wasn't looking at him.
His mind whirled as he tried to think of what could have made her sick. They'd never made it beyond the popcorn last night, and she had turned down his offer of coffee in favor of water...
"Kristina," he said, reaching for her arm and beckoning for her attention. "Krissy, are you pregnant?"
Fandom: General Hospital
Characters/Pairing: Ethan Lovett/Kristina Davis
Table: Relationship
Prompt: Forgiveness
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of domestic abuse and underage sex.
Warnings: Kristina is 17 and Ethan is in his early twenties.
Word Count: 2576
Summary: Ethan tries to make things right.
Notes: Whoo-hoo, it didn't take me four months! :) Hope you all enjoy and know that all of your kind reviews mean the world to me.
Forgiveness
For the next month, Ethan is like a ghost. He doesn't leave the Haunted Star, just goes downstairs to bartend and heads back up to his flat as soon as his shift is over. He says a handful of words to Luke and flat ignores Lucky and Lulu's texts and calls. He hasn't even attempted to contact Kristina since that morning she had shown up at his flat.
Therefore, when Lulu shows up at his door, he's fully prepared to shut it in her face. She's ready though, and has swiped her father's copy of the key. Almost as soon as he locks it she's unlocked the damn thing and is standing in his living room, hands on her hips. He decides the best option is to sit on the couch and pretend to watch the football match currently playing. It seems his sister is not having it though, and grabs the remote from his hand and turns it off.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he yells, louder than he meant, but doesn't regret it.
"Me? What about you?" she retorts, throwing her hands in his general direction. "I have it on good authority you haven't left the Haunted Star in a month!"
"Excuse me for working." he snaps, and he knows he's being a brat but he can't muster up the energy to care.
"Oh, come on Ethan. This place is barely open, it's just dad's glorified playground. You cannot expect me to believe that you're so suddenly swamped with work you can't reply to any of my phone calls."
Ethan doesn't respond, and Lulu just sighs exasparatedly. "What about Kristina? Have you talked to her?" she asks, and every muscle in Ethan's body reacts. He locks up, and he knows that Lulu sees it.
"Ethan, what happened?" she asks gently, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
"I don't want to talk about it." he replies as he jumps up from the couch and heads for the solace of the kitchen. Lulu, being Lulu, follows him, unwilling to let it go so easily.
"Dante told me you came by the morning after we all went to Jake's. He wouldn't tell me why you were there though. Did something happen with Kristina? Is she okay?" At this, Ethan faces his sister and sees the genuine concern for him etched across her face.
"I slept with her." The words escape his mouth before he can stop them, and suddenly Lulu's expression changes to one of shock.
"Yeah," he continues, smirking. "And then, predictably, I managed to screw it up in the worst way possible."
Lulu doesn't press him for more information, just moves closer to him and places a reassuring hand on his arm.
"I'm sure you can fix it." she says after a moment, and Ethan shakes his head.
"Not this time." he replies. "I made love with Kristina and then went and slept with Maya the next day."
He half expects Lulu to slap him at this admission, and when she doesn't he lets his gaze meet hers. There's shock there, but also pity, which makes him feel even worse about the whole situation. No one should be feeling pity for him of all people.
"Does Kristina know?" she asks, and he nods. "Ethan, what happened?"
Ethan rubs his hands over his face and shrugs. "I don't know, I don't remember. One minute Maya and I were eating burgers and drinking, and the next Kristina was at my door and Maya was in my shirt."
Lulu sighed, and the two fell into silence before she pulled him into a hug.
"It'll be okay Ethan, trust me. But only if you at least try to fix things with Kristina."
Before he can respond, she turns and leaves his flat, and he's alone again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours after Lulu leaves, he gets a text from her asking him to meet her on the docks and that it's an emergency. His concern for his little sister overcomes his wish to remain in the sanctuary of his flat and he quickly changes and leaves, walking the short distance from the casino to the docks.
He should have known the text was suspicious, that Lulu always had some kind of plan up her sleeve, but the thought didn't even cross his mind until he saw Kristina standing on the docks where they had first exchanged phone numbers.
She hears his footsteps and turns. Shock is evident on her face when she sees him, but she doesn't run, which Ethan supposes is a good sign. He moves closer to her, and he sees there's something...different about her. Her skin is paler, the dark circles under eyes evident. She's still gorgeous as usual though, and Ethan feels that familiar tightening in his stomach from being in her presence. He gets within a few feet of her before she starts to move back, and Ethan freezes.
"Hi." he tries, after a tense silence settles over them. It's lame, but it's all he has.
"Hi." she replies, but she refuses to meet his gaze.
"Lulu?" he asks, and she nods. "I figured." he replies.
"I, uh...I should go..." she starts, but Ethan reaches out for her arm before she can turn away from him completely.
"Wait, baby, please..." she flinches at that and yanks her arm out of his grasp.
"Don't." she hisses, and he sees the tears well up in her eyes. "Don't call me that."
"Will you at least listen to what I have to say?" he asks, but at this she turns on him, eyes blazing.
"Why? Why should I?" she asks, and she moves toward him. He might be a good head taller than her, but he suddenly feels as if she's towering over him and he is sure now that there is a part of her father in her.
"I swore, after Kiefer, that I would never, never let anyone hurt me like that again. But you...the way you hurt me...it's worse."
Ethan has no response, and he feels even more like the biggest scumbag to ever walk the earth.
"Krissy, I never meant to hurt you. I would never want to do anything to cause you pain, ever." he says after a moment.
"But you did. You did. I woke up, and you were gone. Without a word, without anything, you were just...gone. I thought maybe I had imagined the whole thing, that I had wanted you so much for so long that I was finally losing it completely. Then, I went to your apartment and find you with Maya Ward? I just...I just don't understand why."
Her voice breaks at the end and the tears are spilling down her cheeks. Ethan can't fight the urge any longer and he pulls her to him. The sensation of her in his arms is so familiar, and she only fights him for a moment before collapsing against him, the sobs racking her tiny body. His voice becomes a mantra of "I'm sorry," that he repeats until the shock of his own tears prevents him from continuing. He remembers the last time he cried - his parents' funeral when he was sixteen. He'd never cried since then, never let anything affect him in that way. But now, knowing the pain he had caused the one person he'd never wanted to hurt, was more than he could contain.
At some point, Kristina asks to go back to his apartment and Ethan agrees, knowing they need more privacy than the docks can afford. They walk back to the Haunted Star in silence, and Kristina calms down, but doesn't let go of his jacket or move away from him. He unlocks the door to his flat and Kristina goes in first, moving away from him for the first time. She takes a seat on the couch, as far on one end as she can get. He takes the cue and sits on the other end, giving her the space she needs. She rests her head on one hand and stares off into space, and Ethan takes a moment to guiltily take in her presence in his flat. It was something he had sorely missed over the last month.
"I have to know why." she finally says, her soft voice penetrating the silence of the flat.
Ethan sighs heavily, and takes a moment before responding.
"I don't...I don't know." he tries, but he watches as she tenses up and decides he needs to be honest, with her and with himself.
"I woke up that morning with you, and I felt....right, I guess. Like everything in my life had been leading up to that moment. You were lying next to me - on top of me really." he chuckles a little at that before continuing. "And you looked....so beautiful, but so young and so innocent. It was then that I realized how much you had been through that night, with Molly, and I had taken advantage of that. So I left to clear my head, to sort out what I was feeling. I ended up at the park and...well, Maya was there. We had some dinner, just as friends, and then we started drinking. It was stupid, I know, but I just...I needed to forget, just for a little while." He ran his hands through his hair, sighing again before continuing. Kristina still wasn't looking at him but he knew she was listening.
"My feelings for you, they're complicated. Much more complicated than I've ever felt for any other woman. You're my best friend, the best one I've ever had, and I was worried that I'd ruined that forever. So I got completely smashed, and....I don't remember anything else until you showed up here the next morning."
He finishes, and Kristina is still silent. He doesn't say anything, doesn't move, for a good five minutes until she responds.
"I don't forgive you." she says, and Ethan feels his stomach drop at her words. That was it then.
She turned to him and finally looked him in the eye again, and for once Ethan couldn't read what was there.
"I don't forgive you." she repeated. "I'm not sure I ever will. But we have to move on from this. You're my best friend too, Ethan. You're the only person who sees me for who I really am. You don't see me as Alexis Davis and Sonny Corinthos' daughter, or the girl who let her boyfriend beat her on a regular basis, or as this fragile child who needs to be protected. You see me, and I need that. I've loved you since that Thanksgiving with the pumpkin cookies, and I've been in love with you for just as long. I'm not sure where we go from here, but I need you in my life."
Ethan lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, but he realized the best thing he could do now was to stay silent. After a moment, Kristina reached for the remote and began channel surfing before settling on a movie.
"Popcorn?" she asked, giving him a hint of a smile.
At that moment, Ethan would have given her anything she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time the movie's over, Kristina is dozing on his shoulder. They haven't said more than a handful of words to one another, but Ethan can tell they're on the right track. It's getting late, though, so he nudges her until she wakes up.
"It's late, Krissy. Alexis will be wondering where you are." he says once he's sure she's at least half-awake but she shakes her head and burrows into his side.
"Mmm-mm. She's in New York with Mac, Molly's at Sam's." she mumbles and is pretty much asleep before the sentence leaves her mouth. She must have been more exhausted than he thought.
Ethan smiles but knows he needs to get them in a more comfortable position to sleep. He slides off the couch and brings her into his arms as he stands up. She mumbles something he can't understand, but doesn't wake up. He moves them into the bedroom and somehow manages to pull the blankets back enough to slip her underneath them. He strips off his jeans and necklaces before sliding into the other side. He meant to keep his distance, but Kristina quickly flipped over and seemed to find him almost instantly. His arm instinctively went underneath her head and she curled into him. Exhausted himself, Ethan fell asleep almost instantly, geting his first good night's sleep in weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the first time since their only time together that he's slept through the night. When he begins to come back to consciousness, he realizes they've shifted during the night. He's curled around Kristina's petite body and she's pressed up against him. The arm not under her neck is wrapped around her waist and hers is resting on top of that arm. They're completely intertwined and Ethan's pretty sure he's never felt more at peace. He had accepted the full spectrum of his feelings for Kristina after she had left his flat that morning.
He, Ethan Lovett, was absolutely, head over heels, stupid ridiculous in love with Kristina Davis.
They had a lot to overcome (the age difference, her parents, his family, and his mistake with Maya just being the tip of the iceberg), but as long as she was in his life he was fairly sure they could survive it. This kind of faith was something he had never experienced with anyone, and he was both excited and scared out of his mind.
He was more than content to lay there as long as possible, but Kristina was beginning to wake up. He went to loosen his grip on the girl, still not sure how she would feel about their current positions, but she only turned over and pulled him closer to her.
"Morning." she mumbled, still half-asleep, and Ethan laughed and dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head.
"Morning love." he greeted, and he saw her smily lazily.
However, almost as soon as the smile appeared on her face it was gone, replaced by a painful grimace.
"Oh, god." Kristina mumbled, pushing Ethan off of her and practically leaping out of the bed. He sat up to follow wherever she was going, but she made a beeline for the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. There was silence for a moment before he heard the distinct sounds of retching. He got up from the bed and stood at the door, knowing there wasn't a whole lot to do for her if she was sick. When there was nothing but silence for a few minutes he knocked on the door lightly.
"Baby, are you alright?" he knew she wasn't, but he didn't know what else to say.
After a moment he heard the sink running and then she reappeared, looking less green but decidedly unhappy.
"I'm ok." she replied, but once again she wasn't looking at him.
His mind whirled as he tried to think of what could have made her sick. They'd never made it beyond the popcorn last night, and she had turned down his offer of coffee in favor of water...
"Kristina," he said, reaching for her arm and beckoning for her attention. "Krissy, are you pregnant?"