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[sarahf]

Everything I touch turns to shit. I destroy every relationship I've been in. Even my body wants out and is trying to kill me. Keeping secrets doesn't work. Being honest doesn't work. I'm a shit mother, a shit partner, and a shit friend. No wonder everyone keeps leaving. I don't fucking blame them

Comments

[ext_3342210]

Oh, I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way about yourself. You're having a rough couple of years and there's no tip-toeing around how hard it must be for you right now.

I've said before that it is truly and honor and pleasure to know you and nothing in our acquaintance has changed my mind about that. Again, I admire how you manage to be tough and kind at the same time.

[sarahf]

<3 Thank you.

[jennelle137]

This is a rough time, no doubt. But I've known for many years how powerful and confident you are - something that needs time to recharge. And sometimes part of that recharge is allowing yourself to feel miserable for a bit.

You can't expect yourself to go through this craziness without feeling *ALL* the emotions. And if you need help addressing them, get the support you need - there is no weakness in getting help for depression professionally or even just calling someone because you need an ear.

So many people are here for you, myself included.

[sarahf]

<3 Thank you. I'm working with a counselor already. Just trying to stay vigilant as to whether I need a psychiatrist too. :-\ I'm trying to give myself space to feel miserable, but...well, then I feel miserable. :)

[julesjones]

What they all said

[sarahf]

I love what you say in the first paragraph. I mean, not love that it's a thing, but love the reminder, love knowing that. I really appreciate you pointing it out.

Also *cries* that a side effect of some chemo drugs is depression. Just what we all need, right. I mean, I'm already on the look out for chemo-brain. :(

Also...thanks for the reminder that depression lies. I've got Jenny Lawson's FURIOUSLY HAPPY on my bedside table, but I haven't been able to bring myself to read it yet. But I will, I will.

*hugs*

[julesjones]

I know about the side-effect problem because we had to nag Mum to take the anti-depressant she was prescribed as part of her cocktail for this reason. I mention it because depression lies, and will tell you that you don't need anti-depressants because it's only natural to feel like shit when you're having chemo. It may be natural, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with that shit.