First things first.
Happy birthday, blackjackal1984. I sincerely hope that 22 is as good to you as it was to me.
I can't recall if I wrote about this or not, but there's a girl starting to make her way into my life again.
Her name is Jennifer. I call her Jen, or sometime Spilly Drinker.
She's been a co-worker of mine from back in the good old days when I was an operator. I took notice of her right away. She's cute, has a charming smile, beautiful long straight red/maroon hair, brown eyes (I think?), stands about 5' 8".
Before the lockout, I only really talked to her in passing. It was during the lockout where I became much more of a social butterfly. After all, walking a picket line for 20 hours a week, talking to the same people all the timw while you're there will forge new bonds, comradries and friendships, or strengthen those already in place. Those of us on the line from the Competitive Operator Services department stuck together, and it was through such companionship that Jen began to take more notice of me, I suppose.
Jen always struck me as an outgoing free spirit, who liked to party. I never really considered that she would find me an interesting person. Plus I've also conditioned myself to thickheadedly believe that I would be a terrible boyfriend, and that a girlfriend at this point in my life would be impractical, as I do not have a place of my own yet. Also, the partying lifestyle is just not me.
So when on the line one day, Jen invited me to her place for a party with her and some of her friends, without hesitation I politely declined. It was later that same day, after Jen had already gone home, that her friend Meg pulled me aside and - in Meg's unique and admirab;e way - proceeded to tell me that Jen wasn't truly inviting me to a party, but she was asking me out.
I was immediately floored. The thought had never ever crossed my mind that Jen would've taken interest in me, but sure enough she has. Needless to say I was flattered, but also at the same time quick to denounce the notion up front, stating that she could find herself someone far better than myself. Meg wasn't impressed with the answer. In fact, she chided and scolded me, and never let me hear the end of it.
Since then, I've never been able to look at Jen the same way. Knowing what Meg told me, I found myself looking at Jen with a lingering gaze from time to time. Taking in more of her presence than usual. But always in the back of my mind I convinced myself 'It'd never work.'
We've since gone back to work, of course. Recently, Meg got a hold of my office email address, and began pestering me to approach Jen once more. Again, Meg did so in her unique manner. This time, she also flat out gave me Jen's email address and phone number, citing that Jen would not hang up on me no matter how badly I flustered a phone call. She also professed to continue to pester me until I got in touch with Jen.
I caved in less than a week, and sent Jen an email. We agreed to go for coffee yesterday at 6. Her shift was finishing, and I would take my supper break at that time. We met up at the Tim Hortons between our two workplaces. 'Here,' I thought, 'We're going to talk to each other one-on-one. I'm going to be myself, she's going to ask me about my personal life, I'm going to tell her everything outright. My fascination with goths, the furry fandom, what I do in my spare time...' basically all the things that make up who I am, the part of me that society doesn't see.
But as a wise man by the name of Murphy once decreed, 'Nothing ever goes according to plan.'
Turns out as a matter of fact that we had a good time. We mainly talked about work, and briefly spoke about our personal lives. She's not as extroverted as I thought she was. Though she is still more outgoing, more sociable, parties more often, and drinks more than I do. I, on the other hand, listen to much heavier music, am much more of a sports fan, and am better at video games, to the extent of her knowledge. My... 'alternative' interests have not yet shown themselves as a topic of interest yet.
Before I knew it, we had arranged to go and see The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe together this Saturday, and following the movie we'll also try to catch the hockey game.
On the spur of the moment, I called her today (read, Thursday) and invited her to go for coffee yet again. I realized at 6 that Ihadn't taken my supper break yet, and I knew that Jen was off at six so... what the hell? Again we had a good conversation with each other. I observed her behaviour today while she was talking. She was all smiles, as always, but bashful. She had a hard time looking me in the eye for long periods of time, and she once she started talking she would often begin rambling on. I may not be very experienced with dates but I think she was trying hard to impress me. That she truly has a genuine interest in me, and that she wants me to have an interest in her as well. From my understanding of courtship, it's always been the other way around.
Of course, I could be entirely wrong... but at the same time, even if I am wrong, she's *awfully* cute.
I find myself lately thinking about the possibility of her becoming my girlfriend. I also am quick t recognize that she truly doesn't know me for what I am on the inside yet.It's very possible that she might find me repulsive once learning of my alternate interests. Obviously I'm not a normal guy. I only pretend to be normal because society expects it of me. In a way, I'm presenting a false image of myself to those around me, and I fear it's that part of me that Jen is fascinated with.
I don't really know how I would educate her about my private life. First and foremost, she would have to accept that part of me if we were to ever go steady. If she couldn't accept that then things would be as they always were.
But if she does accept it...
Who am I kidding. Not bloody likely. ^_^
I can't recall if I wrote about this or not, but there's a girl starting to make her way into my life again.
Her name is Jennifer. I call her Jen, or sometime Spilly Drinker.
She's been a co-worker of mine from back in the good old days when I was an operator. I took notice of her right away. She's cute, has a charming smile, beautiful long straight red/maroon hair, brown eyes (I think?), stands about 5' 8".
Before the lockout, I only really talked to her in passing. It was during the lockout where I became much more of a social butterfly. After all, walking a picket line for 20 hours a week, talking to the same people all the timw while you're there will forge new bonds, comradries and friendships, or strengthen those already in place. Those of us on the line from the Competitive Operator Services department stuck together, and it was through such companionship that Jen began to take more notice of me, I suppose.
Jen always struck me as an outgoing free spirit, who liked to party. I never really considered that she would find me an interesting person. Plus I've also conditioned myself to thickheadedly believe that I would be a terrible boyfriend, and that a girlfriend at this point in my life would be impractical, as I do not have a place of my own yet. Also, the partying lifestyle is just not me.
So when on the line one day, Jen invited me to her place for a party with her and some of her friends, without hesitation I politely declined. It was later that same day, after Jen had already gone home, that her friend Meg pulled me aside and - in Meg's unique and admirab;e way - proceeded to tell me that Jen wasn't truly inviting me to a party, but she was asking me out.
I was immediately floored. The thought had never ever crossed my mind that Jen would've taken interest in me, but sure enough she has. Needless to say I was flattered, but also at the same time quick to denounce the notion up front, stating that she could find herself someone far better than myself. Meg wasn't impressed with the answer. In fact, she chided and scolded me, and never let me hear the end of it.
Since then, I've never been able to look at Jen the same way. Knowing what Meg told me, I found myself looking at Jen with a lingering gaze from time to time. Taking in more of her presence than usual. But always in the back of my mind I convinced myself 'It'd never work.'
We've since gone back to work, of course. Recently, Meg got a hold of my office email address, and began pestering me to approach Jen once more. Again, Meg did so in her unique manner. This time, she also flat out gave me Jen's email address and phone number, citing that Jen would not hang up on me no matter how badly I flustered a phone call. She also professed to continue to pester me until I got in touch with Jen.
I caved in less than a week, and sent Jen an email. We agreed to go for coffee yesterday at 6. Her shift was finishing, and I would take my supper break at that time. We met up at the Tim Hortons between our two workplaces. 'Here,' I thought, 'We're going to talk to each other one-on-one. I'm going to be myself, she's going to ask me about my personal life, I'm going to tell her everything outright. My fascination with goths, the furry fandom, what I do in my spare time...' basically all the things that make up who I am, the part of me that society doesn't see.
But as a wise man by the name of Murphy once decreed, 'Nothing ever goes according to plan.'
Turns out as a matter of fact that we had a good time. We mainly talked about work, and briefly spoke about our personal lives. She's not as extroverted as I thought she was. Though she is still more outgoing, more sociable, parties more often, and drinks more than I do. I, on the other hand, listen to much heavier music, am much more of a sports fan, and am better at video games, to the extent of her knowledge. My... 'alternative' interests have not yet shown themselves as a topic of interest yet.
Before I knew it, we had arranged to go and see The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe together this Saturday, and following the movie we'll also try to catch the hockey game.
On the spur of the moment, I called her today (read, Thursday) and invited her to go for coffee yet again. I realized at 6 that Ihadn't taken my supper break yet, and I knew that Jen was off at six so... what the hell? Again we had a good conversation with each other. I observed her behaviour today while she was talking. She was all smiles, as always, but bashful. She had a hard time looking me in the eye for long periods of time, and she once she started talking she would often begin rambling on. I may not be very experienced with dates but I think she was trying hard to impress me. That she truly has a genuine interest in me, and that she wants me to have an interest in her as well. From my understanding of courtship, it's always been the other way around.
Of course, I could be entirely wrong... but at the same time, even if I am wrong, she's *awfully* cute.
I find myself lately thinking about the possibility of her becoming my girlfriend. I also am quick t recognize that she truly doesn't know me for what I am on the inside yet.It's very possible that she might find me repulsive once learning of my alternate interests. Obviously I'm not a normal guy. I only pretend to be normal because society expects it of me. In a way, I'm presenting a false image of myself to those around me, and I fear it's that part of me that Jen is fascinated with.
I don't really know how I would educate her about my private life. First and foremost, she would have to accept that part of me if we were to ever go steady. If she couldn't accept that then things would be as they always were.
But if she does accept it...
Who am I kidding. Not bloody likely. ^_^