a strand of you and me
a strand of you and me
yoochun ♥ junsu
drabble | RL | pg-13
angsty!yoosu again. oops. :x i meant to post a yunjae fic i'm working on, but then i decided that it needs some extra polishing before i can post it. erkk. so this drabble comes out. don't worry, no one dies this time. ehe. ^^;;
--
Junsu thinks that Yoochun is best when he sleeps, open-mouthed and vulnerable. He sees no pretense there, Yoochun is all Yoochun, not the overly glittered Micky Park that annoys him and makes him seethes all over.
Junsu follows an imaginary finger down Yoochun’s spine, the curve a journey of experience and laughter mingled with heartache and pain, and Junsu wants to cry, wants to bend and dance against his skin and cry. But he can’t - there’s so much- he just can’t.
They both want so much, but willing to give so little - Junsu admits feeling guilty but still does nothing about it.
Yoochun smelt of burnt toast and sour-salty sweat. He smells of dream made reality because they all work so hard for it. Junsu wrinkles his nose in distaste for a second, before inhaling deep, taking all of Yoochun into his lungs and makes him stay because Junsu can’t take him in any other way.
Junsu clings to a strand of Yoochun’s hair - fallen from its root and lying on Yoochun’s pillow. Yoochun is breathing deep, carelessly beautiful, mouth slightly gaping, but beautiful. He shouldn't be, Junsu thinks, but he is. Junsu gulps down an aching lump deep into his soul, and feels it seeping purple poison of regret under his skin. He wants to cry, wants to shake Yoochun and cries,
“Su-ah, there’s no need for expl-”
“No. You have to understand. I love you, Yoochun-ah, but I-“
“-I know. I know. There’s the other three plus millions.” Yoochun pauses for a few seconds before he chuckles, all fake and sad, “I don’t even know what I’m asking for, Su.”
“We- Can’t we stay this way, just like this? It works for so long, Yoochun-ah, it works for so-”
“You know it doesn’t work that way, baby. I want it to be, but let’s be realistic. One day when someone comes, where do I go and where do you run?”
Junsu is not really in shock, but truth hurts so much when uttered in Yoochun’s voice.
“I- I don’t k-know.”
Junsu’s voice trembles - legs shaky and unsure. He holds on to Yoochun’s hand, but then Yoochun gently slips it away, eyes casting far into the horizon and he looks every bit the fighter Junsu has always suspected him to be, brave and possible.
It’s been ten years, glorious ten years that shimmer with golden awards and pretty pictures and sunshiny smiles. This is what they work for, they sacrifice every thing for this, but Junsu feels sort of empty. The smiles come easy, but they mean nothing - because Junsu catches Yoochun looking away every time he smiles, and it hurts.
“We’ll get over this, Su. Don’t worry, I know we will.”
Junsu cries finally, only a streak of tears, but ultimately he cries, muffling the whimper by biting his arm.
We don't, Yoochun-ah. We don't.
-- [THE END]
yoochun ♥ junsu
drabble | RL | pg-13
angsty!yoosu again. oops. :x i meant to post a yunjae fic i'm working on, but then i decided that it needs some extra polishing before i can post it. erkk. so this drabble comes out. don't worry, no one dies this time. ehe. ^^;;
--
Junsu thinks that Yoochun is best when he sleeps, open-mouthed and vulnerable. He sees no pretense there, Yoochun is all Yoochun, not the overly glittered Micky Park that annoys him and makes him seethes all over.
Junsu follows an imaginary finger down Yoochun’s spine, the curve a journey of experience and laughter mingled with heartache and pain, and Junsu wants to cry, wants to bend and dance against his skin and cry. But he can’t - there’s so much- he just can’t.
They both want so much, but willing to give so little - Junsu admits feeling guilty but still does nothing about it.
Yoochun smelt of burnt toast and sour-salty sweat. He smells of dream made reality because they all work so hard for it. Junsu wrinkles his nose in distaste for a second, before inhaling deep, taking all of Yoochun into his lungs and makes him stay because Junsu can’t take him in any other way.
Junsu clings to a strand of Yoochun’s hair - fallen from its root and lying on Yoochun’s pillow. Yoochun is breathing deep, carelessly beautiful, mouth slightly gaping, but beautiful. He shouldn't be, Junsu thinks, but he is. Junsu gulps down an aching lump deep into his soul, and feels it seeping purple poison of regret under his skin. He wants to cry, wants to shake Yoochun and cries,
“Su-ah, there’s no need for expl-”
“No. You have to understand. I love you, Yoochun-ah, but I-“
“-I know. I know. There’s the other three plus millions.” Yoochun pauses for a few seconds before he chuckles, all fake and sad, “I don’t even know what I’m asking for, Su.”
“We- Can’t we stay this way, just like this? It works for so long, Yoochun-ah, it works for so-”
“You know it doesn’t work that way, baby. I want it to be, but let’s be realistic. One day when someone comes, where do I go and where do you run?”
Junsu is not really in shock, but truth hurts so much when uttered in Yoochun’s voice.
“I- I don’t k-know.”
Junsu’s voice trembles - legs shaky and unsure. He holds on to Yoochun’s hand, but then Yoochun gently slips it away, eyes casting far into the horizon and he looks every bit the fighter Junsu has always suspected him to be, brave and possible.
It’s been ten years, glorious ten years that shimmer with golden awards and pretty pictures and sunshiny smiles. This is what they work for, they sacrifice every thing for this, but Junsu feels sort of empty. The smiles come easy, but they mean nothing - because Junsu catches Yoochun looking away every time he smiles, and it hurts.
“We’ll get over this, Su. Don’t worry, I know we will.”
Junsu cries finally, only a streak of tears, but ultimately he cries, muffling the whimper by biting his arm.
We don't, Yoochun-ah. We don't.
-- [THE END]