the atmosphere is dense
the atmosphere is dense
yoochun ♥ junsu | yoochun ♥ fc
angst | ~1,000 words
a/n: a mindless yoosu-angst piece i wrote in a daze. thought i'd share it with you guys. wanna know how mindless this is? well, i couldn't even make up a title for it. :x
--
No words are needed, I just want to be by your side
Love is calling
The atmosphere is dense, choking and tense. Yoochun sits hunched in his seat, nursing a glass of whiskey and a numb heart. His wife of twenty-three years left him today for someone else - an ex-boyfriend with two sons. Their own daughter is thousands of miles away in America, running and fighting for the dream he had abandoned more than twenty years ago.
Techno beats slither through the speakers, the bass pounding and unforgiving. Yoochun looks up and sees a man; an old friend, a once-lover. He tries to smile, pulling one corner of his lips up.
“Junsu.”
He gets a full smile back. Junsu never does anything in halves.
“I heard,” Junsu says, coming to sit on the empty stool next to Yoochun, “Chaerim’s US debut is on the first of next month?”
Yoochun sighs and chuckles. For a moment there he thought Junsu is finally able to sniff the wind for the current hot news given how things are. His divorce is everybody’s business after all.
“Yeah. Jeje’s over there getting things organized,” Yoochun cocks up an eyebrow, “did you know he insisted to be her producer?”
Junsu grins wide,
“That’s where I got the news from.”
“He can never keep his mouth shut.”
Junsu laughs, still the husky eu kyang kyang Yoochun remembers it to be, before he sobers up and looks at Yoochun, expression soft but serious.
“I heard about Gahee too.”
Yoochun shrugs, “Who doesn’t?”
“You okay?”
“I guess. I’ll cope.”
Junsu nods, lips tight and eyes staring hard. Yoochun shifts in his seat, burning with the intense gaze.
“What?”
“You really okay?”
Yoochun sighs heavily, looking away,
“Why does it matter anyway? I can’t do anything about it…can’t change a thing about what had happened. She’s not happy…I couldn’t make her happy.”
I want us to hold each other tightly
These strong, genuine feelings I have could stop time
There is a pale mark where a ring used to be on one of Yoochun’s fingers and it itches. Junsu reaches out and holds the hand where the finger is. There is coldness seeping from Junsu’s palm where his hand is warm. Yoochun’s eyes mist.
“Stupid. Stupid Yoochun. Why don’t you say anything?”
“You weren’t there. I tried telling you…but you weren’t there when I needed you.”
Junsu squeezes tight, nails digging into Yoochun’s palm.
“I’m sorry. Yoochunah, I’m sorry.”
Yoochun gives Junsu a teary smile, shaking his head in resignation before squeezing his hand back.
“’is okay,” Yoochun looks down into his whiskey glass as he let go of Junsu’s hand, “this isn’t any of your fault.”
“I want to be there for you. I’m sorry.”
“Junsuyah, I said it’s okay.”
Junsu presses in, completely determined and fully stubborn,
“You’re not okay, Yoochun. If you are you wouldn’t be here.”
Fresh tears drop into his almost finished whiskey, salting the thick brew.
“And you wouldn’t be here,” Yoochun continues for Junsu, gulping the lump in his throat. He looks up at Junsu, watches as Junsu’s face morphs into a grim mask. There is a man behind Junsu, looking at Yoochun as if he has gone crazy. Maybe I have, Yoochun muses. Perhaps now is the time. He had been holding out on his sanity for too long.
“I want you. Want to be with you. Junsu, please. I love you. I still do.” Yoochun adds, choking. Junsu stares at him, eyes cruelly sharp.
“You can’t. No. Don’t do this to yourself.”
If you're aware that there are no boundaries in blue sky
Then quickly come to me
“Don’t you love me?”
“That’s not important, Yoochun-“
Yoochun yells Junsu’s name aloud, taking the glass and smashing it onto the floor. He hears the bartender gasp in surprise and the crowd pulls away, strong hands holding him back and someone restraining his movement. He looks at Junsu and cries, pleading with his eyes for something he wants that Junsu doesn’t want to give.
“It’s important! Tell me you love me, tell me you still do Junsu!”
Junsu just stares back coldly, freezing Yoochun’s heart.
“I’m here for you, but you can’t ask for more than that Chun. You know that. It isn’t right for you to ask for more.” he says, voice still as soft as Yoochun remembers it to be.
“You still hate me for what happened…Junsuyah, you still hate me for moving on, don’t you?” Yoochun asks, sobbing like a child.
Junsu’s eyes are wide with unshed pain.
“How could you say that? I never hate you, Chun. I love you. You know I will always love you.”
“Then why can’t we be together?”
“Because this, here, me, and you, we don’t exist. Yoochunah, we don’t exist. You do, but not us.” Junsu answers back exasperatedly, looking up at the ceiling. The lights hit his skin and turn it translucent with their rainbow hues. Yoochun cries harder, feels the men drag him further away from Junsu.
“Don’t let them take me away, Su! Please!”
“Why can’t you just face your life like a real man, Yoochun? I thought you’re stronger than this!”
“I’m not strong! I’m weak without you! I need you!”
Junsu shakes his head, one hand coming up to massage his temple.
“I shouldn’t have come here.”
“But you’re here! Despite everything you’re here!”
“Maybe I’m the one who have issues in letting go.” Junsu sighs. Yoochun lurches forward, pulling away from the strangers’ hands and running towards Junsu in full pelts.
The floor is slippery and Yoochun falls, hands holding out for Junsu and grabbing air. His palms hit the floor and catch the shards of broken glass he had thrown minutes earlier, blood oozing red onto the checkered plane.
He looks up and Junsu is gone.
Reality hits him like tonnes of bricks.
Junsu is never there in the first place.
No words are needed, I just want to feel your warmth
Love is burning
--[THE END]
yoochun ♥ junsu | yoochun ♥ fc
angst | ~1,000 words
a/n: a mindless yoosu-angst piece i wrote in a daze. thought i'd share it with you guys. wanna know how mindless this is? well, i couldn't even make up a title for it. :x
--
No words are needed, I just want to be by your side
Love is calling
The atmosphere is dense, choking and tense. Yoochun sits hunched in his seat, nursing a glass of whiskey and a numb heart. His wife of twenty-three years left him today for someone else - an ex-boyfriend with two sons. Their own daughter is thousands of miles away in America, running and fighting for the dream he had abandoned more than twenty years ago.
Techno beats slither through the speakers, the bass pounding and unforgiving. Yoochun looks up and sees a man; an old friend, a once-lover. He tries to smile, pulling one corner of his lips up.
“Junsu.”
He gets a full smile back. Junsu never does anything in halves.
“I heard,” Junsu says, coming to sit on the empty stool next to Yoochun, “Chaerim’s US debut is on the first of next month?”
Yoochun sighs and chuckles. For a moment there he thought Junsu is finally able to sniff the wind for the current hot news given how things are. His divorce is everybody’s business after all.
“Yeah. Jeje’s over there getting things organized,” Yoochun cocks up an eyebrow, “did you know he insisted to be her producer?”
Junsu grins wide,
“That’s where I got the news from.”
“He can never keep his mouth shut.”
Junsu laughs, still the husky eu kyang kyang Yoochun remembers it to be, before he sobers up and looks at Yoochun, expression soft but serious.
“I heard about Gahee too.”
Yoochun shrugs, “Who doesn’t?”
“You okay?”
“I guess. I’ll cope.”
Junsu nods, lips tight and eyes staring hard. Yoochun shifts in his seat, burning with the intense gaze.
“What?”
“You really okay?”
Yoochun sighs heavily, looking away,
“Why does it matter anyway? I can’t do anything about it…can’t change a thing about what had happened. She’s not happy…I couldn’t make her happy.”
I want us to hold each other tightly
These strong, genuine feelings I have could stop time
There is a pale mark where a ring used to be on one of Yoochun’s fingers and it itches. Junsu reaches out and holds the hand where the finger is. There is coldness seeping from Junsu’s palm where his hand is warm. Yoochun’s eyes mist.
“Stupid. Stupid Yoochun. Why don’t you say anything?”
“You weren’t there. I tried telling you…but you weren’t there when I needed you.”
Junsu squeezes tight, nails digging into Yoochun’s palm.
“I’m sorry. Yoochunah, I’m sorry.”
Yoochun gives Junsu a teary smile, shaking his head in resignation before squeezing his hand back.
“’is okay,” Yoochun looks down into his whiskey glass as he let go of Junsu’s hand, “this isn’t any of your fault.”
“I want to be there for you. I’m sorry.”
“Junsuyah, I said it’s okay.”
Junsu presses in, completely determined and fully stubborn,
“You’re not okay, Yoochun. If you are you wouldn’t be here.”
Fresh tears drop into his almost finished whiskey, salting the thick brew.
“And you wouldn’t be here,” Yoochun continues for Junsu, gulping the lump in his throat. He looks up at Junsu, watches as Junsu’s face morphs into a grim mask. There is a man behind Junsu, looking at Yoochun as if he has gone crazy. Maybe I have, Yoochun muses. Perhaps now is the time. He had been holding out on his sanity for too long.
“I want you. Want to be with you. Junsu, please. I love you. I still do.” Yoochun adds, choking. Junsu stares at him, eyes cruelly sharp.
“You can’t. No. Don’t do this to yourself.”
If you're aware that there are no boundaries in blue sky
Then quickly come to me
“Don’t you love me?”
“That’s not important, Yoochun-“
Yoochun yells Junsu’s name aloud, taking the glass and smashing it onto the floor. He hears the bartender gasp in surprise and the crowd pulls away, strong hands holding him back and someone restraining his movement. He looks at Junsu and cries, pleading with his eyes for something he wants that Junsu doesn’t want to give.
“It’s important! Tell me you love me, tell me you still do Junsu!”
Junsu just stares back coldly, freezing Yoochun’s heart.
“I’m here for you, but you can’t ask for more than that Chun. You know that. It isn’t right for you to ask for more.” he says, voice still as soft as Yoochun remembers it to be.
“You still hate me for what happened…Junsuyah, you still hate me for moving on, don’t you?” Yoochun asks, sobbing like a child.
Junsu’s eyes are wide with unshed pain.
“How could you say that? I never hate you, Chun. I love you. You know I will always love you.”
“Then why can’t we be together?”
“Because this, here, me, and you, we don’t exist. Yoochunah, we don’t exist. You do, but not us.” Junsu answers back exasperatedly, looking up at the ceiling. The lights hit his skin and turn it translucent with their rainbow hues. Yoochun cries harder, feels the men drag him further away from Junsu.
“Don’t let them take me away, Su! Please!”
“Why can’t you just face your life like a real man, Yoochun? I thought you’re stronger than this!”
“I’m not strong! I’m weak without you! I need you!”
Junsu shakes his head, one hand coming up to massage his temple.
“I shouldn’t have come here.”
“But you’re here! Despite everything you’re here!”
“Maybe I’m the one who have issues in letting go.” Junsu sighs. Yoochun lurches forward, pulling away from the strangers’ hands and running towards Junsu in full pelts.
The floor is slippery and Yoochun falls, hands holding out for Junsu and grabbing air. His palms hit the floor and catch the shards of broken glass he had thrown minutes earlier, blood oozing red onto the checkered plane.
He looks up and Junsu is gone.
Reality hits him like tonnes of bricks.
Junsu is never there in the first place.
No words are needed, I just want to feel your warmth
Love is burning
--[THE END]