oxygen » ficlet.
Oxygen.
Yunho/Jaejoong.
Band!Fic, Fluff, Romance.
Jaejoong never knew that letting someone through his barrier would ever feel this good.
Dainty fingers covered in product run through dark silky hair, messing it a little but not enough to make the young boy look insane. Jaejoong looks into the mirror, pulling on the different accessories assigned to him, and it seems that he was the one bearing the most and so he assumes he'll be following this concept in the years to come.
He squints from the lights sat above the mirror, his eyes blinded by their unatural glow. His face slowly becomes unnaturally warm for this time of year and he isn't sure whether that's because of the lights or because he's starting to become distressed as a clock above his head ticks away the time before he has to present himself to the world.
The nerves he'd been hiding suddenly make an attempt to escape and so he tries breathing to hold them back - but it comes out in pants and his eyes become hazy as the woman fussing with his hair doesn't relent. In the mirror, he watches the rushing of the people behind him, their hastening footsteps and perfecting hands trying to do everything in the shortest time possible - just in case it so happened that they were called out stupidly early.
His breathing fails him again as dizziness set in from watching everyone tear around the dressing room. To attempt to steady himself, he focuses on his reflection in the mirror. Although he's not sure, but it seems as if he's judging himself, his own eyes scowling back at him. Could he really do this? Was he cut out for it?
A hand appears on his shoulder as the stylist moves away, probably to make an attack on someone else's hair, and Yunho's face appears just over his shoulder in the mirror. Jumping slightly, Jaejoong grips his chest - the shock hadn't helped his nerves in the slightest - and shakes his head.
"Oh, it's just you, Yunho-yah," he says, swallowing. His attention switches from the other boy watching his every move to the bracelet that he holds between his fingers, beginning to fiddle with it's chain.
"Please stop judging me, Yunho," Jaejoong says, pleads, and Yunho begins to notice that there's something really wrong.
"Hey, calm down," Yunho says, placing his hands over the top of Jaejoong's own, a normal action between the both of them, "I haven't seen you like this for years."
"I haven't felt this way for years," Jaejoong admits, the chain slipping from his grip and clinking onto the wooden floor. Sighing, he throws his arms up in defeat, distressed and irrate, before massaging his temples.
Yunho crouches to pick up the jewellary, placing it on the dressing table before gathering Jaejoong into his arms. The latters limbs fall awkwardly around his waist, but into place nonetheless, as Yunho gently brushes the tips of his freshly styled hair.
"Just relax Jaejoong-ah," Yunho whispers confortingly and Jaejoong's slumps in his arms, "Breathe."
Years. They'd been friends for years. And the last time Yunho had seen Jaejoong as uncomfortable and shy as this was when the younger version (if you could get much younger than they already were) of himself had been introduced to the innocent but cold-looking Kim Jaejoong, as another trainee of SM Entertainment.
Yunho remembered how Jaejoong had bowed shyly, his hair covering his face slightly as Yunho copied the motion, he remembered the way how soft his fingers had felt when they'd shaken hands and he even remembered the way that his name had fallen from his tongue when he'd first said, 'Hello, Yunho.'
He remembered when Jaejoong insisted on keeping up his facade, the cold stares and the tough-guy image - as if he could handle the weight of the world on his shoulders without anyone's help. For six months, Yunho attempted to get to know him better, to share some of the weight and lighten Jaejoong's load, but it was pretty obvious that the latter didn't want any kind of help at all. Yunho watched others try to get close to him, try to elict some kind of interest from the boy, but to no avail. It seemed that no one was able to break the spell that Jaejoong had been put under.
After nine months in the company, the boy began to speak more. And when he did, Yunho knew that he still had life in him - was still passionate. He was what was expected from him - the kid with the circle lenses and one too many piercings. But he still remained strong.
And so when he tripped and fell in a dance training session, the world seemed to stop and an alternate universe set in. When the teacher spent fifteen minutes screaming at the youth until Yunho believed that Jaejoong's ears were going to bleed, Yunho didn't expect to find the young Kim boy sat on the roof with tears streaming down his cheeks half an hour later.
Kim Jaejoong had been the epitome of the strongest presence that any of the SM trainee's had seen - he had developed into the right kind of mix of feisty and seriousness. The new kids feared him and the older trainees respected him, just for the way he held himself. But Yunho had always seen something different. A crack in his personality, a small fracture behind his eyes with the potential to shatter at any moment. In a way, Jaejoong had felt threatened by that - the way that Yunho could read him so easily - after years of trying to build up a barricade to hide himself behind and so in the eyes of other people he'd be brave and not broken.
So, the day Yunho found Jaejoong on that roof, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his feet dangerously close to the edge, Yunho knew that they would leave the surface of the SM building with a different relationship than they had before.
"You're not thinking about what I think you are, right, Jaejoong-hyung?" Yunho asks, his voice wavering a little, just because he's uneasy about what Jaejoong can do. He was just someone completely different to anyone Yunho had ever met before, and whether that was a good thing, well, he was still trying to figure that out.
"Probably not," Jaejoong speaks hoarsely, his voice very nearly lost in the wind that rushes through his hair.
"There's nothing wrong with making mistakes, hyung," Yunho says, his fingers itching to grab the other by the shoulders and pull him from the edge, "Don't worry about it."
He watches Jaejoong's shoulders shudder a little and Yunho realises he's laughing, "That's easy for you to say, Yunho-yah. I've seen you dance. You're flawless."
Yunho can't deny he's a little bit shocked. He wouldn't say he was the best dancer in their class, and so that meant that Jaejoong had been watching him - by choice.
"I couldn't call it flawless. I have a lot to work on," Yunho admits, "That's why we train."
"If it wasn't important, Taewoon-ssi wouldn't have scolded me about it for so long," Jaejoong reasons, alternating his stance from one leg to the other and it makes Yunho take three steps forward to make sure he's steady.
Yunho sighs, "No one can be good at everything, hyung," he watches Jaejoong's fists clench and unclench and he knows that Taewoon-ssi's words are running through his mind because they're nagging his too, "Don't beat yourself up about it."
"You seem to be pretty perfect at it all," Jaejoong says, his eyes closing as another tear tumbles it's way towards earth.
Yunho's chuckle makes Jaejoong turn around to find out what exactly is so funny, his eyes landing on Yunho smiling sadly at him, "I'm nowhere near as perfect as you when it comes to singing, hyung."
"You've heard me sing?" Jaejoong asks and Yunho nods.
"You sing in the shower in the changing rooms. I think you're amazing," Yunho admits, averting his eyes to inspect the floor and Jaejoong blushes a little. To his knowledge, no one apart from one of his sisters, the judges of the audition and his vocal tutor had ever heard him sing. But Yunho flattered him.
"Look," Yunho says, "Can I ask you a couple of questions?"
Jaejoong nods slightly, his teeth marring his bottom lip.
"Why do you shut yourself off from us?" he asks, tilting his head sideways as he analyses Jaejoong's face.
Jaejoong looks away, embarassed. No one had ever bothered enough to question why he never opened up, why he chose to ignore everyone's advances to be his friend.
"I don't mean to. It's a habit," Jaejoong says his lower lip jutting out, "I don't want to be someone that has to rely on other people. They've only let me down. And I wouldn't want that to happen with the people that I see everyday, with people that can judge me."
"So why would you want to become an idol?" Yunho asks instantly, his mouth spilling the words before his brain comprehended anything.
"A fan's love is different. They can like you without knowing you. You can live the way you want to in front of them and they'll support you and admire you for what you're good at, rather than your flaws."
"But with every five fans comes at least one anti-fan," Yunho points out, his brain attempting to work out the mindset of the young boy.
"But you'd continue performing if you believed in your real fans enough," Jaejoong says, disbelieving how easily Yunho had made him speak, "Their love for you would be enough to overwrite anything that an anti-fan said. If they kept believing in me, they'd make me stronger and so anti-fans wouldn't bother me anymore. Being an idol would remove whatever this social boundary that I have is, it'd make me free."
"And so you're standing on that rooftop edge to prove to yourself that you're not scared and that you can do anything if you set your mind to it," Yunho says, his brain fitting unspoken pieces together.
Jaejoong's eyes widen in disbelief and he's suddenly suspicous, "How... how... did..."
"It's okay, hyung," Yunho promises, "Just come down."
Unusually, Jaejoong's feet step off the ledge and Yunho wraps his fingers between his own, "It's you and me against the world."
And they'd spent years fighting that world, and it'd led them here, about to prove to them what they can do - alongside the only other three that Jaejoong had begun to let into his bubble.
"This is it," Yunho says, his hand squeezing Jaejoong's, once he'd led them to his stage entrance.
"I love you," Jaejoong confesses, before releasing Yunho's hand and rushing over to his own entrance, eyeing the shocked expression of the other man as he passed through the shadows and into the lights of the stage.
And whenever Jaejoong fell vulnerable to that threatening shard of his past behind his eyes, Jung Yunho was always there to hold him together to prevent him from breaking. Because Jung Yunho had become Kim Jaejoong's oxygen.
______
this was a quick one - like this authors note!
i have to go quickly, so i might edit this note later!
thank you for reading anyway and i hope you like it!
K I'm back! So this is obviously based on when DBSK first debuted - thought I'd go back to the good ol' days. :D
Yeah, I don't know really. Just came to me. ^^
Anyway, again, thank you for reading! I really hope you liked it.
And hopefully, I am going to start posting the full chaptered version of my Doll ficlet at the start of the new year. So please look forward to that. :)
Thanks again for reading and if you'd like, please leave me a comment~
Yunho/Jaejoong.
Band!Fic, Fluff, Romance.
Jaejoong never knew that letting someone through his barrier would ever feel this good.
Dainty fingers covered in product run through dark silky hair, messing it a little but not enough to make the young boy look insane. Jaejoong looks into the mirror, pulling on the different accessories assigned to him, and it seems that he was the one bearing the most and so he assumes he'll be following this concept in the years to come.
He squints from the lights sat above the mirror, his eyes blinded by their unatural glow. His face slowly becomes unnaturally warm for this time of year and he isn't sure whether that's because of the lights or because he's starting to become distressed as a clock above his head ticks away the time before he has to present himself to the world.
The nerves he'd been hiding suddenly make an attempt to escape and so he tries breathing to hold them back - but it comes out in pants and his eyes become hazy as the woman fussing with his hair doesn't relent. In the mirror, he watches the rushing of the people behind him, their hastening footsteps and perfecting hands trying to do everything in the shortest time possible - just in case it so happened that they were called out stupidly early.
His breathing fails him again as dizziness set in from watching everyone tear around the dressing room. To attempt to steady himself, he focuses on his reflection in the mirror. Although he's not sure, but it seems as if he's judging himself, his own eyes scowling back at him. Could he really do this? Was he cut out for it?
A hand appears on his shoulder as the stylist moves away, probably to make an attack on someone else's hair, and Yunho's face appears just over his shoulder in the mirror. Jumping slightly, Jaejoong grips his chest - the shock hadn't helped his nerves in the slightest - and shakes his head.
"Oh, it's just you, Yunho-yah," he says, swallowing. His attention switches from the other boy watching his every move to the bracelet that he holds between his fingers, beginning to fiddle with it's chain.
"Please stop judging me, Yunho," Jaejoong says, pleads, and Yunho begins to notice that there's something really wrong.
"Hey, calm down," Yunho says, placing his hands over the top of Jaejoong's own, a normal action between the both of them, "I haven't seen you like this for years."
"I haven't felt this way for years," Jaejoong admits, the chain slipping from his grip and clinking onto the wooden floor. Sighing, he throws his arms up in defeat, distressed and irrate, before massaging his temples.
Yunho crouches to pick up the jewellary, placing it on the dressing table before gathering Jaejoong into his arms. The latters limbs fall awkwardly around his waist, but into place nonetheless, as Yunho gently brushes the tips of his freshly styled hair.
"Just relax Jaejoong-ah," Yunho whispers confortingly and Jaejoong's slumps in his arms, "Breathe."
Years. They'd been friends for years. And the last time Yunho had seen Jaejoong as uncomfortable and shy as this was when the younger version (if you could get much younger than they already were) of himself had been introduced to the innocent but cold-looking Kim Jaejoong, as another trainee of SM Entertainment.
Yunho remembered how Jaejoong had bowed shyly, his hair covering his face slightly as Yunho copied the motion, he remembered the way how soft his fingers had felt when they'd shaken hands and he even remembered the way that his name had fallen from his tongue when he'd first said, 'Hello, Yunho.'
He remembered when Jaejoong insisted on keeping up his facade, the cold stares and the tough-guy image - as if he could handle the weight of the world on his shoulders without anyone's help. For six months, Yunho attempted to get to know him better, to share some of the weight and lighten Jaejoong's load, but it was pretty obvious that the latter didn't want any kind of help at all. Yunho watched others try to get close to him, try to elict some kind of interest from the boy, but to no avail. It seemed that no one was able to break the spell that Jaejoong had been put under.
After nine months in the company, the boy began to speak more. And when he did, Yunho knew that he still had life in him - was still passionate. He was what was expected from him - the kid with the circle lenses and one too many piercings. But he still remained strong.
And so when he tripped and fell in a dance training session, the world seemed to stop and an alternate universe set in. When the teacher spent fifteen minutes screaming at the youth until Yunho believed that Jaejoong's ears were going to bleed, Yunho didn't expect to find the young Kim boy sat on the roof with tears streaming down his cheeks half an hour later.
Kim Jaejoong had been the epitome of the strongest presence that any of the SM trainee's had seen - he had developed into the right kind of mix of feisty and seriousness. The new kids feared him and the older trainees respected him, just for the way he held himself. But Yunho had always seen something different. A crack in his personality, a small fracture behind his eyes with the potential to shatter at any moment. In a way, Jaejoong had felt threatened by that - the way that Yunho could read him so easily - after years of trying to build up a barricade to hide himself behind and so in the eyes of other people he'd be brave and not broken.
So, the day Yunho found Jaejoong on that roof, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his feet dangerously close to the edge, Yunho knew that they would leave the surface of the SM building with a different relationship than they had before.
"You're not thinking about what I think you are, right, Jaejoong-hyung?" Yunho asks, his voice wavering a little, just because he's uneasy about what Jaejoong can do. He was just someone completely different to anyone Yunho had ever met before, and whether that was a good thing, well, he was still trying to figure that out.
"Probably not," Jaejoong speaks hoarsely, his voice very nearly lost in the wind that rushes through his hair.
"There's nothing wrong with making mistakes, hyung," Yunho says, his fingers itching to grab the other by the shoulders and pull him from the edge, "Don't worry about it."
He watches Jaejoong's shoulders shudder a little and Yunho realises he's laughing, "That's easy for you to say, Yunho-yah. I've seen you dance. You're flawless."
Yunho can't deny he's a little bit shocked. He wouldn't say he was the best dancer in their class, and so that meant that Jaejoong had been watching him - by choice.
"I couldn't call it flawless. I have a lot to work on," Yunho admits, "That's why we train."
"If it wasn't important, Taewoon-ssi wouldn't have scolded me about it for so long," Jaejoong reasons, alternating his stance from one leg to the other and it makes Yunho take three steps forward to make sure he's steady.
Yunho sighs, "No one can be good at everything, hyung," he watches Jaejoong's fists clench and unclench and he knows that Taewoon-ssi's words are running through his mind because they're nagging his too, "Don't beat yourself up about it."
"You seem to be pretty perfect at it all," Jaejoong says, his eyes closing as another tear tumbles it's way towards earth.
Yunho's chuckle makes Jaejoong turn around to find out what exactly is so funny, his eyes landing on Yunho smiling sadly at him, "I'm nowhere near as perfect as you when it comes to singing, hyung."
"You've heard me sing?" Jaejoong asks and Yunho nods.
"You sing in the shower in the changing rooms. I think you're amazing," Yunho admits, averting his eyes to inspect the floor and Jaejoong blushes a little. To his knowledge, no one apart from one of his sisters, the judges of the audition and his vocal tutor had ever heard him sing. But Yunho flattered him.
"Look," Yunho says, "Can I ask you a couple of questions?"
Jaejoong nods slightly, his teeth marring his bottom lip.
"Why do you shut yourself off from us?" he asks, tilting his head sideways as he analyses Jaejoong's face.
Jaejoong looks away, embarassed. No one had ever bothered enough to question why he never opened up, why he chose to ignore everyone's advances to be his friend.
"I don't mean to. It's a habit," Jaejoong says his lower lip jutting out, "I don't want to be someone that has to rely on other people. They've only let me down. And I wouldn't want that to happen with the people that I see everyday, with people that can judge me."
"So why would you want to become an idol?" Yunho asks instantly, his mouth spilling the words before his brain comprehended anything.
"A fan's love is different. They can like you without knowing you. You can live the way you want to in front of them and they'll support you and admire you for what you're good at, rather than your flaws."
"But with every five fans comes at least one anti-fan," Yunho points out, his brain attempting to work out the mindset of the young boy.
"But you'd continue performing if you believed in your real fans enough," Jaejoong says, disbelieving how easily Yunho had made him speak, "Their love for you would be enough to overwrite anything that an anti-fan said. If they kept believing in me, they'd make me stronger and so anti-fans wouldn't bother me anymore. Being an idol would remove whatever this social boundary that I have is, it'd make me free."
"And so you're standing on that rooftop edge to prove to yourself that you're not scared and that you can do anything if you set your mind to it," Yunho says, his brain fitting unspoken pieces together.
Jaejoong's eyes widen in disbelief and he's suddenly suspicous, "How... how... did..."
"It's okay, hyung," Yunho promises, "Just come down."
Unusually, Jaejoong's feet step off the ledge and Yunho wraps his fingers between his own, "It's you and me against the world."
And they'd spent years fighting that world, and it'd led them here, about to prove to them what they can do - alongside the only other three that Jaejoong had begun to let into his bubble.
"This is it," Yunho says, his hand squeezing Jaejoong's, once he'd led them to his stage entrance.
"I love you," Jaejoong confesses, before releasing Yunho's hand and rushing over to his own entrance, eyeing the shocked expression of the other man as he passed through the shadows and into the lights of the stage.
And whenever Jaejoong fell vulnerable to that threatening shard of his past behind his eyes, Jung Yunho was always there to hold him together to prevent him from breaking. Because Jung Yunho had become Kim Jaejoong's oxygen.
______
this was a quick one - like this authors note!
i have to go quickly, so i might edit this note later!
thank you for reading anyway and i hope you like it!
K I'm back! So this is obviously based on when DBSK first debuted - thought I'd go back to the good ol' days. :D
Yeah, I don't know really. Just came to me. ^^
Anyway, again, thank you for reading! I really hope you liked it.
And hopefully, I am going to start posting the full chaptered version of my Doll ficlet at the start of the new year. So please look forward to that. :)
Thanks again for reading and if you'd like, please leave me a comment~