Love from the Drumming Neanderthal: Chapter 18
Yeah, its been awhile. Nothing much happening here. Mom's making speghetti for company today (YUM!) I'm going to Latin Convention tomorrow for a week then its off to san fransico for another week. So I may not see you guys for some time. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
Saturday morning, sitting near a computer screen in Lila’s well windowed study, I read a short email from Jeff.
Hey Sasha, Sorry that you’re having trouble with your friends, I’m always here to talk! Love, -Jeff
Strange. That four letter word before Jeff’s name, LOVE, has never been said to me by someone my age of the opposite sex. Does this mean that I am something more to Jacob then a pen pal? Hastily, I reply to the message.
Thanks so much for your support. School is much better now. I’ve joined a band called the Neanderthals, and I’ve made plenty of friends. I wish they had a softball team here, like back home, but that’s okay. Lila, my mother, says we’ll be coming home for Christmas. Maybe I can see you then? How’s high school going? Are you still playing soccer as well as softball?
Miss you tons,
Love, -the drumming neanderthal
*sigh* Wouldn’t it be nice to see Jeff over the winter break. The full body mirror reflects my long figure as I dress into my boy clothes. Frumping up my bangs gives me a more masculine look, Lila says, so I rumple my hair with my fingers. I check the clock and realize it’s already eleven. There’s a gentle growl in my stomach. Not only have I not eaten yet, but the nerves from last night’s encounter at Jacob’s house haven’t faded. Poor Jacob, he was so embarrassed by his deathly mother and sister. Was he even worried I would abandon him because his family was, shall I say, I bit creepy? His terrified face emerges in the mirror from my memory.
“NO!” Says the image, “THEY ARE NOT GHOSTS! Nor are the demons, or vampires, or witches!” A feeling of shame comes over me. How could I have been so stupid? To assume that Jacob’s family members were some kind of apparition, and then tell him I thought so. I shake my head to remove the miserable feeling of guilt.
“Just go apologize.” I say to myself, “Today, when you go over for lunch, apologize for the mistake you made.” I give my reflection a nod and a thumbs up before heading downstairs. An hour later, I find myself, once again, in front of Jacobs’s front door. This time, Lila has insisted coming in with me.
“I still no like Jacob.” She says, “He has been rude to you twice, and I feel I need know parents that are allowing you in their home. HMMM?” She looks at me with a suspicious glance. I’m sick of arguing with her, so I ring the chain doorbell and wait. After a few pitter-patters of footfalls, a little, smiling face greets us.
“Hello, Grette!” I chime. She gives me a big grin, and lets us in. Today, Grette is wearing a plaid green dress and no shoes. I notice that the gold necklace still clings to her almond colored skin. She looks timidly at Lila’s fur coat in awe, and then gently pokes it with her fingers. Lila, with a good amount of effort, tries to pull the jacket away. I take this moment to examine the room. The hallway, which looked gloomy the previous night, now has a charming glow. November colored sunshine warms the room through the ancient stained glass. It reflects off a delicate grandfather clock that ticks merrily on the other side of the hall.
“HELLOOOO!” Booms a voice, deep in the house, “Remundo, is that you?” I smile to myself. The voice echoes with the same frequency as the morning announcements at Wimblelonston.
“YES, SIR BIGGINZ.” I bellow back. Grette grabs my arm and leads us toward clanking noises of a kitchen. Jacob, Kyle, and Madeline are sitting at the kitchen table, happily chattering. As soon as we enter, the talking is brought to a sudden halt
“Erm, Remundo,” Kyle breaks the silence, “is that your sister?”
“Oh, no!” I laugh, “This is Grette, Jacob’s little sister. She helped me into the house.” Grette gives a little curtsy.
“No, I meant…” Kyle points at Lila, who is standing behind me and removing her fur jacket.
“Umm, no. This is Lila, she’s my mother.” There’s a muffled giggle as Madeline and Jacob cover their mouths with their hands to hide their laughter. Kyle’s lips are frozen in an ‘O’ shape and Sir Bigginz chuckles from behind the kitchen counter.
“Good morning,” Lila bubbles. She makes to hang her jacket on a chair, but Grette grabs it from her arm and dashes away.
"Ahh,” chimes Sir Bigginz, “Cynthia told me that Grette had taken a liking to Remundo. It seems she favors you as well, Mrs. Gonzales.”
“Oh,” Lila gives a flustered smile. She’s a little startled by the funny girl. “I never have met zee child with zuch, eh, spunk.” Jacob shifts in his seat, trying to hide his face.
“Remundo!” Jacob’s mother flies into the room. She is wearing a long black dress and a necklace of silver skull beads. She grabs my face in her hands and gives me a big kiss on the forehead, like an ostrich. “My, what a handsome creature you are.” She coos. Sir Bigginz strides over and wraps an arm around his wife. They are well mismatched, for he is slightly shorter, chubbier and wearing a maroon suit with a yellow tie.
“It is a pleasure to meet your mother, Remundo. I would be delighted to have her for lunch.” He grins.
“Ahhhh, no!” Lila backs away from the couple, “I realize, ermm, I, I have plans.” She stutters. With a wave to me, she turns and rushes out of the house, forgetting her fur jacket.
“What a curious woman.” Mrs. Bigginz comments, rolling her necklace between her black fingernails. Her husband gives a snort then returns to the kitchen counter. With a swish of her long dress, Mrs. Bigginz waves to us than trails after Grette and into the next room.
Sir Bigginz makes his favorite meal, stuffed cabbage and pineapple, and we eat in relative happiness. Everyone, except Jacob, is in a high mood.
“Is Lila really your mother?” Kyle suddenly asks.
“Yes, Kyle.” I answer.
“Do you have a sister?”
I give a sigh. “No.”
“Oh,” He looks slightly crestfallen, “That’s a waste. You’d have a hot sister.” Madeline makes a noise that sounds like chipmunks playing, and I look to see her bright red with laughter.
“You think it’s funny that my friends find my mom hot?” I tease her. She laughs so hard, that she cries milk drops.
“It’s true though.” Says Kyle, “His mom is hot. You feeling alright Jacob, you’ve hardly touched your food?” Jacob has ignored our conversation and is busy having a staring contest with his cabbage. He shrugs his shoulders and begins nibbling his pineapple. “You’re not embarrassed by your family again, are you?” Kyle continues. “Because if you keep acting like this whenever we see them, I’m going to have to slug you.” He holds up his fist in threat. Jacob gives a little chuckle, but I can tell that Lila’s reaction to Grette and the rest of the Bigginz has dampened his mood.
We finish our meal then head up to Jacob’s room for practice. Because none of us have a drum set, I have to play on a set of buckets. Kyle produces his neon orange guitar, and Jacob puts together his saxophone.
“How about we just jam?” I suggest.
“Sounds good to me.” Says Kyle. I begin a slow beat on a two foot tall bucket and Madeline joins me with some passionate vocals. Soon the rest of the band joins in, and the Neanderthals are playing their first song.
Madeline really gets into it. She sways her hips in time to the beat, causing her entire body to sway. She’s like a graceful ballerina, only without the tutu. Without meaning to, I watch her dance and catch her eye. With a wink, she begins to sing the song to ME.
You never see me, But sweetling, I see you. We belong together You and I, butterfly. OHHH We belong together, You and I, butterfly. She flutters her eyelashes, and runs her hands through her hair. When the guitar starts to play a solo, Madeline flips off her puffy sweatshirt to reveal a tank top and breasts as big as frying pans.
CLANG “SHIT! Ouch ouch ouch!”
“Remundo, are you alright?” Madeline dashes over and grabs my hand, which I somehow hit with a drumstick.
“Dude, what happened?” Kyle looks between Madeline’s fingers, “You’re bleeding!”
“It’s nothing, just a scratch.” I try to pull away from Madeline, but she just clings harder. Her hands are pressing mine to her bosom.
“Jacob, go get Remundo a bandage, quick! Kyle, why don’t you get some towels?” She orders. The others, noticing a pool of blood running down my arms, rush out of the room at Madeline’s commands. My hand aches, and I squint in pain. I shove away from Madeline in order to hide my tears of misery.
“Could you just, *sniff* go away?” While turning in my seat, I face the wall and look at my throbbing hand. Since my thumb was sitting on the rim of the bucket botom, when I hit it with the wooden stick, the plastic rim dug a quarter inch into my skin. It was like hitting your hand on the end of a dull steak knife.
“Remundo,” A warm touch smoothes my scalp, “Let me see your hand.” Madeline gently reaches across my chest and examines the wound with her fingertips.
“I think you’re going to need stitches.” She says with a clam voice. I nod. “Once the boys get back, we’ll call your mum. But before they do, is there anything…”
“No.” I interrupt, “I’m fine Madeline, why don’t you call my mom, and I’ll…., what are you doing?”
“I’m wiping your tears away.” She strokes my face with her thumbs. Her cheeks are so close; I can see a small freckle near her nose.
“I got the towels and, HOLY CRAP!” Kyle drops the towels in the doorway and pauses, his eyes wide as tea cups. “YOU TWO WERE KISSING!”
“NO! Kyle, it’s not what it looks like!” I shout at him.
“JACOB!” Kyle immediately turns around, abandoning the towels, “JACOB, MADELINE AND REMUNDO ARE KISSING!”
I stand and try to chase after Kyle. Somehow, in the tangle of Madeline’s arms and the various buckets, I manage to smack my hand again. Large issues of pain pound down my arm. Hot liquid is rolling down my shirt, and I try not to know its blood. The floor feels wonderfully soft underneath me. The bedroom is turning a pale orange with a gently spinning sensation. My eyelids close, and a pool of blackness throws me into its depths.