Eros (firefly fanfiction) 3/?
Part Three of the 'Eros' Series. For more information see CHAPTER ONE.
Chapter Three
The morning came too quickly for Simon who had been reluctant to fall asleep after the dream and the violent episode in Mal's room. Still, he couldn't hide his face for long, literally and figuratively. While he completed his morning rituals he couldn't help but notice the angry bruise that had formed where the Captain had accidentally smacked him across the face last night, or that he looked significantly sleep deprived and haunted as to cause others to notice even if they didn't necessarily find it in themselves to ask. Kaylee almost certainly would, and so would Celeste. He only hoped that she would be satisfied with the half truths be was willing to hand out since he had sworn never to lie to her in exchange for her help in freeing himself from Hana. He had no intention of breaking his oath, but he also wasn't planning on telling her that his Captain had pushed him against a wall and whispered deliciously seductive words that were more dangerous than a gun wound to the chest. Those things Mal had said... he couldn't mean them, not by the light of day, surely? Simon knew he was hurting after the loss of Inara although it had been obvious from the start that one of them would have to give and it was never going to be the Captain, and then with the Sheppard taking off too... Despite the Captain's initial reluctance to let Book come on board and how hard he had tried to keep his distance, Simon knew that the two of them had been close before the end and Mal had felt just as abandoned by Book as he had by Inara. From what he had said last night it seemed he was acting out against losing any more crew, if Simon and River could even be called 'crew'. It truly seemed to depend on what day of the week it was in Mal's mind as to whether Simon was the enemy in sheep's clothing or a valued comrade in the fight against the oppression of the government. Not the Simon did any fighting exactly but he had at least shot a gun for the Captain, even if he'd been assured that no damage had been inflicted by his bullets, and he had participated in crime as well. Simon had done everything he could to become one of the crew short of learning to cuss and losing all of his manners.
Eventually the dreaded knock came at the door and Simon straightened his shirt and smoothed down his waistcoat to answer. “Cara,” he said warmly with no small amount of surprise in his voice.
Cara smiled back at him, although her expression wavered when she saw the bruise. She invited herself in and Simon glanced around for her domme. “Is Domme Anya not joining us?”
He asked politely.
Cara settled herself comfortably sitting on the bed that Simon had just made. “She is getting our things together. I offered but she is independent, likes to do these things for herself,” Cara sighed as if the particularities of her domme were cute but frustrating. Submissives were in no way slaves on Eros, but it was expected that they would service their dominants in more than just the bedroom, including cleaning and cooking although this did not always translate into child rearing as well. Cara herself had not a maternal bone in her body, however Hana's brother Kerr who had been a submissive had dreamed of becoming a father and taking on the task of diper changes and midnight feeds since he was a teenager. Celeste took her parental responsibilities very seriously, but he knew that one or more of her submissives took on the role of nanny or 'mummy' to the young while Celeste showed her involvement more in teaching and setting a moral example. They were after all just as human as the rest of the 'verse, just as different and individual as everyone else.
“You're really happy with her?” Simon asked.
“She's nothing like the person I imagined I would end up accepting a collar from, you know that more than anyone, but somehow she's everything I need. She seems to effortlessly be able to handle my moods and yes, she makes me happy, happier than I'd ever been in my life,” Cara finished.
“Gohn shi. I'm glad”. ((gohn shi = congratulations)) Simon remembered when she was younger and she had tried to tell him what it meant to be a submissive, a concept hard to explain to an outsider. Cara had shared her fantasies, how she dreamed of a big strong dominant demanding Cara's submission, never accepting no for an answer and pursuing her to the ends of the earth. She now understood it to be a childish fantasy, one that couldn't complete with the reality of a dominant who loved her for herself. Simon was glad that things had worked out for her, and a little envious too. He would never have that, and while he hadn't been raised or socialised to expect that out of life it had still become the one thing he wanted more than anything. Something he tried to keep locked deep down in his heart, along with his dreams of continuing his work on Osiris or earning his father's respect, trust and love and his mother's attention. They were selfish dreams and he needed to let go of them. Only it was harder than ever before, with the reality staring him right in the face.
“What about you? I saw your face at dinner when Mistress Celeste's brat asked you if Captain Reynolds was your dom... is there anything I should know?” She pried delicately.
“Between me and Mal? No.” Simon knew he sounded genuinely surprised, but after tonight he no longer felt that way. It was only natural for people here to pick up on the protective vibe that Mal had towards his crew, but even so before the events of last night Simon would never have thought anyone could believe Mal and he were anything more than casual acquaintances. “For a while I think that I may have been flirting with Kaylee... I had hoped that maybe we would be more than friends, but I never let myself be completely honest with her about what I want, probably because I don't think she could give me that,” he admitted unhappily, hoping to deflect Cara's line of perceptive questioning by opening up about his angst over his decision to alienate Kaylee.
“The little brown haired one with the pretty mouth?” Cara asked, and when Simon nodded she laughed. “Oh, Simon! While I'm sure that Kaylee and you don't have compatible dynamics, I can tell you that she is most assuredly a dominant.”
“Bu kuh nuhn ((impossible)),” Simon said, but doubt began to form in his mind. Maybe he had been so quick to assume that Kaylee was like him just because she had never taken the initiative with him, but perhaps that was more about her own socialising on a rim planet that still encouraged girls to let boys chase them. “Do you really think so?” He asked.
“Oh yes! Trust me, beneath her sweet and bubbly exterior she's a top all the way. My guess is she knows what she wants but something has been stopping her. You, perhaps?” Cara asked tentatively.
Simon flushed. “I... I've been busy, looking after River. The government, they did things to her brain and now she needs me more than ever. How could I think of myself and my desires when she was in pain?”
“Simon,” she chided softly. “You are a doctor, not god. All humans need other people, as companions, to share the burden, to look after them. I look after Anya by making sure she is satisfied, by giving her a reason to come home. She looks after me by making sure I have everything I need, that I'm never lonely or insecure and that I don't run off getting myself into trouble. Now, you don't need that kind of relationship, you aren't the 'trouble' kind. I think you have found what you need, even if you don't realise it, Simon, it just isn't Kaylee.”
“What do you mean?” He questioned her uncertainly.
“Think about it. You are a doctor, you need patients and people to take care of else you feel useless. You found yourself a whole crew to care for, and never have I seen any other crew that look like they need so much caring for. I guess they keep you pretty busy between patch ups and taking care of River. But Simon, you need something more than that. I saw you when you were with Hana, remember, and I saw how you were attracted to her charisma and her strict command of loyalty and allegiance of those around her. Mal has those same qualities, he draws you in like a moth to the flame. I understand the desire to have someone to give you a place, to tell you that you belong and that you are needed. Mal could be everything you need, in a way that Hana failed to be.”
Simon was surprised to hear her say that. If anything he would have thought that Cara would warn him away from growing attached to such a crew, would attempt to persuade him to stay on Eros like Bella had, although not using Bella's methods perhaps. He was also surprised that she was that perceptive after only a few hours in the crew's presence. Clearly he needed to stop under-estimating Cara. “I don't think he'd want me thinking of him as my Dom, not if he knew what that really required other than ordering me around and putting me in my place.... although last night...” he stopped, not wanting to reveal any more of his own inner dialogue. Simon touched the bruise on his cheek almost with out noticing, and he definitely didn't see Cara's instinctive flinch.
She backed off, literally and figuratively. “Or maybe not. I don't know Simon, I'm just an outside observer. I'll see you again while you're on the planet but I have to join Anya now.”
“Of course,” Simon agreed, embracing her quickly before stepping back. “I won't let it go so long between waves next time,” he vowed. He knew that with the unpredictability of his position on the ship and the very real possibilities of death or capture that he couldn't promise to visit, but he could at least give her that.
She smiled wanly back at him. “I know you won't. Remember we are always here for you if you should need us. Good bye,” she said and left his room.
Simon sighed feeling a little less alone, and a lot more confused.
*
“Mal, may we speak?” Celeste's melodious voice caught Mal's attention as he wondered down an unfamiliar hallway. It had been a long time since he'd lived planet side and even then the ranch he grew up on had been much humbler than this maze like mansion and he wasn't embarrassed to admit he was a little lost. His relief at seeing another human being was tempered by the fact that Celeste's face seemed almost expressionless, which in his experience of diplomats and politicians was never a good thing. In the past it had meant 'your homeland was destroyed by the war, there were no survivors' or 'the rations are running out, but don't fear more ammo is on its way'. More recently it had meant 'goodbye for reasons I can't share with you'. Zoe was the only one who could wear that expression without the intention of deception.
“Of course, I am your guest after all,” he agreed cordially with an overly polite smile on his face.
“A most welcome one, since you have brought Simon back into my household,” she said, and Mal didn't like the way it sounded, like she was going to keep Simon, like Serenity was a temporary home for the Tams and they'd be better off once they left. Maybe it was true, after all Simon had only boarded in an attempt to flee Persephone with his sister hoping to find somewhere safe. Eros was the first planet they had come across that had any chance of being safe, but it had been months and Mal was sure that in River's mind at the very least Serenity had become home.
“It's always pleasant to visit with old friends,” Mal replied lightly, but she caught his suble meaning.
“It is. Although Simon will be made aware that he can always seek refuge on Eros. This planet was his home once, he is the only visitor I have ever met who truly belonged. All the others see a kinky risqué experience to have and tell their friends about, and then there are those who fail to understand the difference between a Submissive and a slave and come here with the intention of abusing our way of life.”
“Eros certainly has a unique culture,” Mal ignored the comment about Simon, he would make sure the boy knew that he belonged on the ship, however he wouldn't chose methods as violent and... personal as what happened last night. That had been a mistake, a revealing one, but one he did not intend on repeating.
“Yes. I hope you understand how much of Eros is in Simon, and that we take care of our own, even if they are light years away from us. Men in your position... our culture expects certain things of them. I want to believe you are capable of living up to your station, Captain Reynalds,” Celeste said.
“I know that in your society I would be considered responsible for any un-collared submissives on my crew, and that responsibility extends to more than just keeping them alive. My mother had a ranch hand who grew up on Eros,” he explained away his knowledge.
“I'm glad to know Simon is in such capable hands,” Celeste said, but there was a thoughtful edge to her voice now. Their polite façade was almost over, she was close to exposing the real purpose of their conversation.
“Let me ask you something,” he said, stepping in front of her and ending the casual stole they had taken away from the unknown corridor and into more familiar territory. “Do you always take this much interest in adult submissives who aren't related to you or is Dr Tam a special case”?
A wry smile twisted her dark red mouth. “Simon was just another visiting doctor until a Dominant took an interest in him. For reasons I am not prepared to share with you, I was forced to intervene in their relationship and brought Simon into my household for the remainder of his stay on the planet. He is like family to me, Captain, and I'd advise you not to forget it.” She was warning him not to hurt Simon, and Mal thought there was nothing funny about this situation.
“Simon is an adult who is very much used to existing out side of your society. I'm not willing to be his mother hen,” he informed Celeste tersely.
“Simon isn't looking for a mother hen, Captain, just remember that before you treat him as if he belongs to you,” she said, and walked off.
Mal had no retort. His instinctive reply was that Simon did belong to him, and he wanted to rationalise that away as being the same as the way that Kaylee belongs to him, the way his crew belongs to him. However he knew that he didn't feel the same way about them. Kaylee was like a little sister who he cared deeply for, and he would hate for her to go but if she left he would do everything to make sure she was leaving for a happier life. Simon though... Simon was someone who had come to him needing his protection. His feelings for Simon were wrapped up in the loathing he had for the Alliance and people who blindly followed the Alliance without questioning the cost that their perfect little lives came with. Simon inspired the violence in him, but it wasn't always directed at Simon, occasionally it was for Simon.
*
Zoe laughed as Wash's fingers led a tickly path from the base of her neck to where the sheet covered her hip. They were lying in a luxurious bed of fine material and a soft mattress, it was warm without being hot and for a few more minutes Zoe could allow Wash to act like they were perfectly safe and sound without a care in the world. It was an illusion she could never allow herself to believe, not after the war and living on Serenity for so long. The moment you let your guard down was the moment you died, and she had no intention of letting herself or Wash die. Not now, not after fighting so hard just to have this.
“I can feel you thinking, lambie-toes, and you know how it damages by fragile manly ego when your mind is on things other than me in bed,” Wash teased her lightly.
“Maybe I'm just trying to inspire you?” She suggested seductively, running a long elegant finger across her husband's chest.
Wash's eye brows rose at the challenge and his eyes roamed the room around them. “Well, we are surrounded by some very intriguing aids. Want to indulge in some naughty games?” He asked, kissing the valley between her collarbone and lapping at the skin there until she moaned and brought his head up for a deep kiss.
Panting, they broke apart. “What do you want to do?” She asked.
He looked shy, which was extremely unusual for Wash. In the time she had known him he had been cocky, insecure, afraid, angry, and most of all devoted and loving, but she had never seen him unsure of admitting something personal to her. “How do you feel about ropes?” He asked, and wiggles his wrists at her.
She smiled, he had such a good heart. She knew that he would never dream of making her uncomfortable, especially considering her past experiences as a soldier, but she felt the same way and she desperately wanted to protect him from his memories of being tortured by Niska. Besides, she wasn't afraid of new experiences. “I trust you,” she whispered, and handed him a length of beautifully woven rope obviously designed not to leave marks.
His eyes widened at the gesture, and he kissed her mouth with all the devotion of a prophet to his goddess. “I will never understand what I could have possibly done to deserve you,” he said with utter conviction.
Zoe smiled beatifically and stretched her arms above her head to allow him to bind her to a thoughtfully positioned hook. Behind passion glazed eyes she was thinking how it was the other way around, what had she ever done to deserve such a gentle, beautiful, honest man? Whatever it was, she was so very glad she had done it. This joy was worth a thousand Battles of Serenity Valley.
TBC
Chapter Three
The morning came too quickly for Simon who had been reluctant to fall asleep after the dream and the violent episode in Mal's room. Still, he couldn't hide his face for long, literally and figuratively. While he completed his morning rituals he couldn't help but notice the angry bruise that had formed where the Captain had accidentally smacked him across the face last night, or that he looked significantly sleep deprived and haunted as to cause others to notice even if they didn't necessarily find it in themselves to ask. Kaylee almost certainly would, and so would Celeste. He only hoped that she would be satisfied with the half truths be was willing to hand out since he had sworn never to lie to her in exchange for her help in freeing himself from Hana. He had no intention of breaking his oath, but he also wasn't planning on telling her that his Captain had pushed him against a wall and whispered deliciously seductive words that were more dangerous than a gun wound to the chest. Those things Mal had said... he couldn't mean them, not by the light of day, surely? Simon knew he was hurting after the loss of Inara although it had been obvious from the start that one of them would have to give and it was never going to be the Captain, and then with the Sheppard taking off too... Despite the Captain's initial reluctance to let Book come on board and how hard he had tried to keep his distance, Simon knew that the two of them had been close before the end and Mal had felt just as abandoned by Book as he had by Inara. From what he had said last night it seemed he was acting out against losing any more crew, if Simon and River could even be called 'crew'. It truly seemed to depend on what day of the week it was in Mal's mind as to whether Simon was the enemy in sheep's clothing or a valued comrade in the fight against the oppression of the government. Not the Simon did any fighting exactly but he had at least shot a gun for the Captain, even if he'd been assured that no damage had been inflicted by his bullets, and he had participated in crime as well. Simon had done everything he could to become one of the crew short of learning to cuss and losing all of his manners.
Eventually the dreaded knock came at the door and Simon straightened his shirt and smoothed down his waistcoat to answer. “Cara,” he said warmly with no small amount of surprise in his voice.
Cara smiled back at him, although her expression wavered when she saw the bruise. She invited herself in and Simon glanced around for her domme. “Is Domme Anya not joining us?”
He asked politely.
Cara settled herself comfortably sitting on the bed that Simon had just made. “She is getting our things together. I offered but she is independent, likes to do these things for herself,” Cara sighed as if the particularities of her domme were cute but frustrating. Submissives were in no way slaves on Eros, but it was expected that they would service their dominants in more than just the bedroom, including cleaning and cooking although this did not always translate into child rearing as well. Cara herself had not a maternal bone in her body, however Hana's brother Kerr who had been a submissive had dreamed of becoming a father and taking on the task of diper changes and midnight feeds since he was a teenager. Celeste took her parental responsibilities very seriously, but he knew that one or more of her submissives took on the role of nanny or 'mummy' to the young while Celeste showed her involvement more in teaching and setting a moral example. They were after all just as human as the rest of the 'verse, just as different and individual as everyone else.
“You're really happy with her?” Simon asked.
“She's nothing like the person I imagined I would end up accepting a collar from, you know that more than anyone, but somehow she's everything I need. She seems to effortlessly be able to handle my moods and yes, she makes me happy, happier than I'd ever been in my life,” Cara finished.
“Gohn shi. I'm glad”. ((gohn shi = congratulations)) Simon remembered when she was younger and she had tried to tell him what it meant to be a submissive, a concept hard to explain to an outsider. Cara had shared her fantasies, how she dreamed of a big strong dominant demanding Cara's submission, never accepting no for an answer and pursuing her to the ends of the earth. She now understood it to be a childish fantasy, one that couldn't complete with the reality of a dominant who loved her for herself. Simon was glad that things had worked out for her, and a little envious too. He would never have that, and while he hadn't been raised or socialised to expect that out of life it had still become the one thing he wanted more than anything. Something he tried to keep locked deep down in his heart, along with his dreams of continuing his work on Osiris or earning his father's respect, trust and love and his mother's attention. They were selfish dreams and he needed to let go of them. Only it was harder than ever before, with the reality staring him right in the face.
“What about you? I saw your face at dinner when Mistress Celeste's brat asked you if Captain Reynolds was your dom... is there anything I should know?” She pried delicately.
“Between me and Mal? No.” Simon knew he sounded genuinely surprised, but after tonight he no longer felt that way. It was only natural for people here to pick up on the protective vibe that Mal had towards his crew, but even so before the events of last night Simon would never have thought anyone could believe Mal and he were anything more than casual acquaintances. “For a while I think that I may have been flirting with Kaylee... I had hoped that maybe we would be more than friends, but I never let myself be completely honest with her about what I want, probably because I don't think she could give me that,” he admitted unhappily, hoping to deflect Cara's line of perceptive questioning by opening up about his angst over his decision to alienate Kaylee.
“The little brown haired one with the pretty mouth?” Cara asked, and when Simon nodded she laughed. “Oh, Simon! While I'm sure that Kaylee and you don't have compatible dynamics, I can tell you that she is most assuredly a dominant.”
“Bu kuh nuhn ((impossible)),” Simon said, but doubt began to form in his mind. Maybe he had been so quick to assume that Kaylee was like him just because she had never taken the initiative with him, but perhaps that was more about her own socialising on a rim planet that still encouraged girls to let boys chase them. “Do you really think so?” He asked.
“Oh yes! Trust me, beneath her sweet and bubbly exterior she's a top all the way. My guess is she knows what she wants but something has been stopping her. You, perhaps?” Cara asked tentatively.
Simon flushed. “I... I've been busy, looking after River. The government, they did things to her brain and now she needs me more than ever. How could I think of myself and my desires when she was in pain?”
“Simon,” she chided softly. “You are a doctor, not god. All humans need other people, as companions, to share the burden, to look after them. I look after Anya by making sure she is satisfied, by giving her a reason to come home. She looks after me by making sure I have everything I need, that I'm never lonely or insecure and that I don't run off getting myself into trouble. Now, you don't need that kind of relationship, you aren't the 'trouble' kind. I think you have found what you need, even if you don't realise it, Simon, it just isn't Kaylee.”
“What do you mean?” He questioned her uncertainly.
“Think about it. You are a doctor, you need patients and people to take care of else you feel useless. You found yourself a whole crew to care for, and never have I seen any other crew that look like they need so much caring for. I guess they keep you pretty busy between patch ups and taking care of River. But Simon, you need something more than that. I saw you when you were with Hana, remember, and I saw how you were attracted to her charisma and her strict command of loyalty and allegiance of those around her. Mal has those same qualities, he draws you in like a moth to the flame. I understand the desire to have someone to give you a place, to tell you that you belong and that you are needed. Mal could be everything you need, in a way that Hana failed to be.”
Simon was surprised to hear her say that. If anything he would have thought that Cara would warn him away from growing attached to such a crew, would attempt to persuade him to stay on Eros like Bella had, although not using Bella's methods perhaps. He was also surprised that she was that perceptive after only a few hours in the crew's presence. Clearly he needed to stop under-estimating Cara. “I don't think he'd want me thinking of him as my Dom, not if he knew what that really required other than ordering me around and putting me in my place.... although last night...” he stopped, not wanting to reveal any more of his own inner dialogue. Simon touched the bruise on his cheek almost with out noticing, and he definitely didn't see Cara's instinctive flinch.
She backed off, literally and figuratively. “Or maybe not. I don't know Simon, I'm just an outside observer. I'll see you again while you're on the planet but I have to join Anya now.”
“Of course,” Simon agreed, embracing her quickly before stepping back. “I won't let it go so long between waves next time,” he vowed. He knew that with the unpredictability of his position on the ship and the very real possibilities of death or capture that he couldn't promise to visit, but he could at least give her that.
She smiled wanly back at him. “I know you won't. Remember we are always here for you if you should need us. Good bye,” she said and left his room.
Simon sighed feeling a little less alone, and a lot more confused.
*
“Mal, may we speak?” Celeste's melodious voice caught Mal's attention as he wondered down an unfamiliar hallway. It had been a long time since he'd lived planet side and even then the ranch he grew up on had been much humbler than this maze like mansion and he wasn't embarrassed to admit he was a little lost. His relief at seeing another human being was tempered by the fact that Celeste's face seemed almost expressionless, which in his experience of diplomats and politicians was never a good thing. In the past it had meant 'your homeland was destroyed by the war, there were no survivors' or 'the rations are running out, but don't fear more ammo is on its way'. More recently it had meant 'goodbye for reasons I can't share with you'. Zoe was the only one who could wear that expression without the intention of deception.
“Of course, I am your guest after all,” he agreed cordially with an overly polite smile on his face.
“A most welcome one, since you have brought Simon back into my household,” she said, and Mal didn't like the way it sounded, like she was going to keep Simon, like Serenity was a temporary home for the Tams and they'd be better off once they left. Maybe it was true, after all Simon had only boarded in an attempt to flee Persephone with his sister hoping to find somewhere safe. Eros was the first planet they had come across that had any chance of being safe, but it had been months and Mal was sure that in River's mind at the very least Serenity had become home.
“It's always pleasant to visit with old friends,” Mal replied lightly, but she caught his suble meaning.
“It is. Although Simon will be made aware that he can always seek refuge on Eros. This planet was his home once, he is the only visitor I have ever met who truly belonged. All the others see a kinky risqué experience to have and tell their friends about, and then there are those who fail to understand the difference between a Submissive and a slave and come here with the intention of abusing our way of life.”
“Eros certainly has a unique culture,” Mal ignored the comment about Simon, he would make sure the boy knew that he belonged on the ship, however he wouldn't chose methods as violent and... personal as what happened last night. That had been a mistake, a revealing one, but one he did not intend on repeating.
“Yes. I hope you understand how much of Eros is in Simon, and that we take care of our own, even if they are light years away from us. Men in your position... our culture expects certain things of them. I want to believe you are capable of living up to your station, Captain Reynalds,” Celeste said.
“I know that in your society I would be considered responsible for any un-collared submissives on my crew, and that responsibility extends to more than just keeping them alive. My mother had a ranch hand who grew up on Eros,” he explained away his knowledge.
“I'm glad to know Simon is in such capable hands,” Celeste said, but there was a thoughtful edge to her voice now. Their polite façade was almost over, she was close to exposing the real purpose of their conversation.
“Let me ask you something,” he said, stepping in front of her and ending the casual stole they had taken away from the unknown corridor and into more familiar territory. “Do you always take this much interest in adult submissives who aren't related to you or is Dr Tam a special case”?
A wry smile twisted her dark red mouth. “Simon was just another visiting doctor until a Dominant took an interest in him. For reasons I am not prepared to share with you, I was forced to intervene in their relationship and brought Simon into my household for the remainder of his stay on the planet. He is like family to me, Captain, and I'd advise you not to forget it.” She was warning him not to hurt Simon, and Mal thought there was nothing funny about this situation.
“Simon is an adult who is very much used to existing out side of your society. I'm not willing to be his mother hen,” he informed Celeste tersely.
“Simon isn't looking for a mother hen, Captain, just remember that before you treat him as if he belongs to you,” she said, and walked off.
Mal had no retort. His instinctive reply was that Simon did belong to him, and he wanted to rationalise that away as being the same as the way that Kaylee belongs to him, the way his crew belongs to him. However he knew that he didn't feel the same way about them. Kaylee was like a little sister who he cared deeply for, and he would hate for her to go but if she left he would do everything to make sure she was leaving for a happier life. Simon though... Simon was someone who had come to him needing his protection. His feelings for Simon were wrapped up in the loathing he had for the Alliance and people who blindly followed the Alliance without questioning the cost that their perfect little lives came with. Simon inspired the violence in him, but it wasn't always directed at Simon, occasionally it was for Simon.
*
Zoe laughed as Wash's fingers led a tickly path from the base of her neck to where the sheet covered her hip. They were lying in a luxurious bed of fine material and a soft mattress, it was warm without being hot and for a few more minutes Zoe could allow Wash to act like they were perfectly safe and sound without a care in the world. It was an illusion she could never allow herself to believe, not after the war and living on Serenity for so long. The moment you let your guard down was the moment you died, and she had no intention of letting herself or Wash die. Not now, not after fighting so hard just to have this.
“I can feel you thinking, lambie-toes, and you know how it damages by fragile manly ego when your mind is on things other than me in bed,” Wash teased her lightly.
“Maybe I'm just trying to inspire you?” She suggested seductively, running a long elegant finger across her husband's chest.
Wash's eye brows rose at the challenge and his eyes roamed the room around them. “Well, we are surrounded by some very intriguing aids. Want to indulge in some naughty games?” He asked, kissing the valley between her collarbone and lapping at the skin there until she moaned and brought his head up for a deep kiss.
Panting, they broke apart. “What do you want to do?” She asked.
He looked shy, which was extremely unusual for Wash. In the time she had known him he had been cocky, insecure, afraid, angry, and most of all devoted and loving, but she had never seen him unsure of admitting something personal to her. “How do you feel about ropes?” He asked, and wiggles his wrists at her.
She smiled, he had such a good heart. She knew that he would never dream of making her uncomfortable, especially considering her past experiences as a soldier, but she felt the same way and she desperately wanted to protect him from his memories of being tortured by Niska. Besides, she wasn't afraid of new experiences. “I trust you,” she whispered, and handed him a length of beautifully woven rope obviously designed not to leave marks.
His eyes widened at the gesture, and he kissed her mouth with all the devotion of a prophet to his goddess. “I will never understand what I could have possibly done to deserve you,” he said with utter conviction.
Zoe smiled beatifically and stretched her arms above her head to allow him to bind her to a thoughtfully positioned hook. Behind passion glazed eyes she was thinking how it was the other way around, what had she ever done to deserve such a gentle, beautiful, honest man? Whatever it was, she was so very glad she had done it. This joy was worth a thousand Battles of Serenity Valley.
TBC