Hey, my friend Olivia.
Ilene Chaiken has indeed ruined Christmas forever, just as she promised. There is no gift that can ever compete with The Christmas Episode.
But let's back the truck up.
We start with Olivia going to meet Elliot and the kids at Kathy's grave for some six-months-belated birthday thing? And then, hey, let's all go out for Italian, that was Kathy's favorite.
idk, the Stablers just keep making choices! That entire family! Choices out the wazoo!
Anyway, as the promo told us, Rafael Barba defends Wheatley at the trial. I have only seen three or so episodes with Barba and he didn't endear himself to me in any of those, so the whole "Liv's post-Elliot best friend is betraying her" thing was lost on me.
But, see, Liv was lucky Barba was defending Wheatley because unlike other lawyers, he wasn't going to make a big fuss over Olivia and Elliot's relationship and Olivia's history of bad choices when it comes to Elliot. Just a little fuss. Just a small one. Behold this video of the SVU captain letting the victim's husband into the interrogation room and then having to put herself between said husband and the suspect! He is not wrong.
There was stuff, it was a trial. Wheatley checked out Elliot's dick because there's some foeyay going on with them, Elliot pretended he was some sort of playboy to get under Wheatley's skin, whatever.
The important thing is we got Jolivia! And her telling Elliot he's a shithead! AND SAYING SHE WANTS TO TALK?? IN THE SAME SCENE.
Wheatley told Liv to keep herself and Elliot's kids away from his ex-wife Angela's testimony, kinda implying that Elliot and Angela were doing the horizontal mambo on every available surface. So Olivia went to Elliot like, "Is there any reason I shouldn't be there for her testimony?" and Elliot is like, "Wheatley is just stirring you up," because Liv has a nasty jealous streak when it comes to Elliot and she does not hide it at all. (In 1.0, she went from zero to yelling at Elliot about keeping it in his pants because he looked at her female friend three times in an episode? Olivia Benson doesn't have much chill, either.) AND THEN shithead Elliot is like, "Besides, that's none of your business, or the court's" and "Why are you really asking?"
And Liv is just like, look, I get you're grieving, but COULD YOU MAYBE STOP BEING A SELF-CENTERED, MANPAIN-FEULED PRICK FOR FIVE MINUTES AND ASK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHILE YOU WERE GONE. (So my instinct to watch the Lewis episodes was pretty spot on. I should finish that.) She also asked him what the fuck he was thinking, giving her the letter Kathy wrote, and told him the thing that I think finally got through his skull: he showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night and it was scary for her.
I'm pretty sure Elliot would rather be shot than hear he'd scared Olivia. Like, 110% sure. Maybe 1000%.
Anyway, hung jury, mistrial, and suddenly Eli's missing!
Now the real fun can begin because we are safe in the embrace of Organized Crime, the superior show.
Eli (14?) goes off, meets an older girl (19!! the fuck!), does drugs and shots with her, and whoops, when he wakes up, the girl is dead. So he calls his dad from Ft. Lee and his dad picks up Olivia (and they hold hands in the car while he drives, but that was literally the least interesting development in either episode) and goes to find him. Meanwhile, Eli is standing on the edge of a bridge and a cop talks him down and they take him to the station.
The cops don't know about the dead girl, so they let Elliot talk to Eli, and Elliot looks at Liv and says, "Please," so she goes to talk to Eli with him. 😭 (Eli was like, "Why is she here," and neither Elliot nor Olivia said because she helped your mother give birth to you, you twit. But this feels like a potential future issue. Eli's too young to know Olivia.)
I loved this scene! Elliot is all concerned dad and Olivia is doing her best detective-ing. I actually thought Elliot was going to get pissed at her, but he didn't, and she was like, "I'll take care of this," and goes!! to!! the crime scene!! And tries to insert her whole self into an investigation outside her jurisdiction, where she knows the suspect! LIKE SHE DID NOT JUST GET TOLD ABOUT THIS SHIT. But Olivia cannot help herself when it comes to Elliot and his family. Cannot. I'm sure this isn't going to come back and bite her on the ass.
Anyway, shocking absolutely no one, Eli didn't kill the girl and Wheatley was trying to frame him. But Eli still needs a psych eval, so they send him off to the hospital, and. And.
And the show decided to just put a whole fanfic on the screen? (I'm getting the order of events slightly wrong here, idgaf.)
Elliot finds Olivia in a breakroom/longue/whatever, and he's like, "Okay, I want to know. Tell me about your life. Are you seeing anyone?"
And Olivia is like, "Ummmm... the fuck? Did we just switch genres? Did you hit your head? Your son is in the hospital for being suicidal? And you seriously want to know if I'm single?"
So Elliot, whose chill levels would need to increase to get to zero, is like, "Is that too awkward? Eh. But for real, how many guys did you fuck while I was gone?"
I SWEAR TO GOD. IT SOUNDS LIKE I AM MAKING THIS UP, BUT I AM NOT. ELLIOT ASKED OLIVIA HOW MANY MEN SHE HAD BEEN WITH SINCE HE LEFT. Wait until he hears she's been with one since he got back.
THE WORDS "HOW MANY" LEFT HIS HORNY ALTAR BOY LIPS. TWICE.
So Liv, rather than killing him, says, "You want to know my dating history, detective?"
And he laughs and shakes a finger at her and goes, "You're being evasive."
INTERROGATION KINK CONFIRMED. THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT, ILENE.
And she tells him about Tucker, sort of, and the doctor interrupts and blah blah, BUT. THE OTHER THING.
They're leaving and Elliot catches Olivia by the arm and thanks her for being there, and he says, "I want to find balance here. In this. Whatever this is."
And Olivia says, like 45 minutes after we heard her saying she couldn't quite trust him and that he scared her -- well, she tries a few times to speak, and finally says, "How about we call it a friendship? How's that for now?"
AND HE GETS THIS SMILE ON HIS FACE LIKE SHE JUST SAID SHE'D MARRY HIM. 😭 😭 😭 😭
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE
He gets his face muscles under control and says, "Hey, my friend Olivia, I'd like you and your son Noah to come on over to my place this weekend for a family Christmas get-together."
He sounds like a little boy with a crush, not even like a high schooler, and it is the sweetest? Fucking? Thing? I have ever heard or seen. AND THE PIANO VERSION OF THEIR LOVE THEME IS PLAYING AND IT'S NOT FINE AT ALL and she doesn't immediately say yes and he says, "Please," and she says, "Wow," and she'll have to think about it and "Can I let you know?" and he says, "Just come," and I am dead on the floor in my own home. ("Just come" will be making an appearance in at least ten different PWPs by the end of this weekend, judging from Twitter. I'm not mad about it.)
Anyway, we don't get to see if she comes, but. But. We get to see the Stabler house in chaos with Elliot's mom (who is named Bernie and who put a Bernie-Sanders-at-the-Inauguration ornament on the tree, and was that seriously less than a year ago?) and his kids and his grandkids -- ELLIOT HAS GRANDKIDS, I LOVE THAT FOR HIM -- and the doorbell rings and he is just! so! excited! because (he thinks) Liv and Noah are there. It is PRECIOUS.
I just love it so much? Elliot has always looked at Liv with these restrained heart eyes, but the restraints are fucking off. He's besotted, he's confessed his love to her like three times, and he's just going to let her and everyone else see that until she feels like she can trust him and it's safe to reciprocate. And she's told him what she needs from him to get there! A friggin' Christmas miracle, Elliot and Olivia have learned to communicate after twenty-three blessed years.
I'm about to hit season eight in my 1.0 viewing, and I super don't want to. I think I have to take a break and just roll around in the season 23 joy. Dreamwidth: Comment | Read Comments
But let's back the truck up.
We start with Olivia going to meet Elliot and the kids at Kathy's grave for some six-months-belated birthday thing? And then, hey, let's all go out for Italian, that was Kathy's favorite.
idk, the Stablers just keep making choices! That entire family! Choices out the wazoo!
Anyway, as the promo told us, Rafael Barba defends Wheatley at the trial. I have only seen three or so episodes with Barba and he didn't endear himself to me in any of those, so the whole "Liv's post-Elliot best friend is betraying her" thing was lost on me.
But, see, Liv was lucky Barba was defending Wheatley because unlike other lawyers, he wasn't going to make a big fuss over Olivia and Elliot's relationship and Olivia's history of bad choices when it comes to Elliot. Just a little fuss. Just a small one. Behold this video of the SVU captain letting the victim's husband into the interrogation room and then having to put herself between said husband and the suspect! He is not wrong.
There was stuff, it was a trial. Wheatley checked out Elliot's dick because there's some foeyay going on with them, Elliot pretended he was some sort of playboy to get under Wheatley's skin, whatever.
The important thing is we got Jolivia! And her telling Elliot he's a shithead! AND SAYING SHE WANTS TO TALK?? IN THE SAME SCENE.
Wheatley told Liv to keep herself and Elliot's kids away from his ex-wife Angela's testimony, kinda implying that Elliot and Angela were doing the horizontal mambo on every available surface. So Olivia went to Elliot like, "Is there any reason I shouldn't be there for her testimony?" and Elliot is like, "Wheatley is just stirring you up," because Liv has a nasty jealous streak when it comes to Elliot and she does not hide it at all. (In 1.0, she went from zero to yelling at Elliot about keeping it in his pants because he looked at her female friend three times in an episode? Olivia Benson doesn't have much chill, either.) AND THEN shithead Elliot is like, "Besides, that's none of your business, or the court's" and "Why are you really asking?"
And Liv is just like, look, I get you're grieving, but COULD YOU MAYBE STOP BEING A SELF-CENTERED, MANPAIN-FEULED PRICK FOR FIVE MINUTES AND ASK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHILE YOU WERE GONE. (So my instinct to watch the Lewis episodes was pretty spot on. I should finish that.) She also asked him what the fuck he was thinking, giving her the letter Kathy wrote, and told him the thing that I think finally got through his skull: he showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night and it was scary for her.
I'm pretty sure Elliot would rather be shot than hear he'd scared Olivia. Like, 110% sure. Maybe 1000%.
Anyway, hung jury, mistrial, and suddenly Eli's missing!
Now the real fun can begin because we are safe in the embrace of Organized Crime, the superior show.
Eli (14?) goes off, meets an older girl (19!! the fuck!), does drugs and shots with her, and whoops, when he wakes up, the girl is dead. So he calls his dad from Ft. Lee and his dad picks up Olivia (and they hold hands in the car while he drives, but that was literally the least interesting development in either episode) and goes to find him. Meanwhile, Eli is standing on the edge of a bridge and a cop talks him down and they take him to the station.
The cops don't know about the dead girl, so they let Elliot talk to Eli, and Elliot looks at Liv and says, "Please," so she goes to talk to Eli with him. 😭 (Eli was like, "Why is she here," and neither Elliot nor Olivia said because she helped your mother give birth to you, you twit. But this feels like a potential future issue. Eli's too young to know Olivia.)
I loved this scene! Elliot is all concerned dad and Olivia is doing her best detective-ing. I actually thought Elliot was going to get pissed at her, but he didn't, and she was like, "I'll take care of this," and goes!! to!! the crime scene!! And tries to insert her whole self into an investigation outside her jurisdiction, where she knows the suspect! LIKE SHE DID NOT JUST GET TOLD ABOUT THIS SHIT. But Olivia cannot help herself when it comes to Elliot and his family. Cannot. I'm sure this isn't going to come back and bite her on the ass.
Anyway, shocking absolutely no one, Eli didn't kill the girl and Wheatley was trying to frame him. But Eli still needs a psych eval, so they send him off to the hospital, and. And.
And the show decided to just put a whole fanfic on the screen? (I'm getting the order of events slightly wrong here, idgaf.)
Elliot finds Olivia in a breakroom/longue/whatever, and he's like, "Okay, I want to know. Tell me about your life. Are you seeing anyone?"
And Olivia is like, "Ummmm... the fuck? Did we just switch genres? Did you hit your head? Your son is in the hospital for being suicidal? And you seriously want to know if I'm single?"
So Elliot, whose chill levels would need to increase to get to zero, is like, "Is that too awkward? Eh. But for real, how many guys did you fuck while I was gone?"
I SWEAR TO GOD. IT SOUNDS LIKE I AM MAKING THIS UP, BUT I AM NOT. ELLIOT ASKED OLIVIA HOW MANY MEN SHE HAD BEEN WITH SINCE HE LEFT. Wait until he hears she's been with one since he got back.
THE WORDS "HOW MANY" LEFT HIS HORNY ALTAR BOY LIPS. TWICE.
So Liv, rather than killing him, says, "You want to know my dating history, detective?"
And he laughs and shakes a finger at her and goes, "You're being evasive."
INTERROGATION KINK CONFIRMED. THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT, ILENE.
And she tells him about Tucker, sort of, and the doctor interrupts and blah blah, BUT. THE OTHER THING.
They're leaving and Elliot catches Olivia by the arm and thanks her for being there, and he says, "I want to find balance here. In this. Whatever this is."
And Olivia says, like 45 minutes after we heard her saying she couldn't quite trust him and that he scared her -- well, she tries a few times to speak, and finally says, "How about we call it a friendship? How's that for now?"
AND HE GETS THIS SMILE ON HIS FACE LIKE SHE JUST SAID SHE'D MARRY HIM. 😭 😭 😭 😭
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE
He gets his face muscles under control and says, "Hey, my friend Olivia, I'd like you and your son Noah to come on over to my place this weekend for a family Christmas get-together."
He sounds like a little boy with a crush, not even like a high schooler, and it is the sweetest? Fucking? Thing? I have ever heard or seen. AND THE PIANO VERSION OF THEIR LOVE THEME IS PLAYING AND IT'S NOT FINE AT ALL and she doesn't immediately say yes and he says, "Please," and she says, "Wow," and she'll have to think about it and "Can I let you know?" and he says, "Just come," and I am dead on the floor in my own home. ("Just come" will be making an appearance in at least ten different PWPs by the end of this weekend, judging from Twitter. I'm not mad about it.)
Anyway, we don't get to see if she comes, but. But. We get to see the Stabler house in chaos with Elliot's mom (who is named Bernie and who put a Bernie-Sanders-at-the-Inauguration ornament on the tree, and was that seriously less than a year ago?) and his kids and his grandkids -- ELLIOT HAS GRANDKIDS, I LOVE THAT FOR HIM -- and the doorbell rings and he is just! so! excited! because (he thinks) Liv and Noah are there. It is PRECIOUS.
I just love it so much? Elliot has always looked at Liv with these restrained heart eyes, but the restraints are fucking off. He's besotted, he's confessed his love to her like three times, and he's just going to let her and everyone else see that until she feels like she can trust him and it's safe to reciprocate. And she's told him what she needs from him to get there! A friggin' Christmas miracle, Elliot and Olivia have learned to communicate after twenty-three blessed years.
I'm about to hit season eight in my 1.0 viewing, and I super don't want to. I think I have to take a break and just roll around in the season 23 joy. Dreamwidth: Comment | Read Comments