Freaking Hilarious
Stalked again, a rant by sarrah16.
asklepiades is stalking sarrah16
asklepiades’s REAL name :
Mesa Brewer
asklepiades’s REAL DOB :
09th September 1979
Height :196 cm
Weight : 122.9 kg
asklepiades has dreamt about you :
18 times
asklepiades became interested in you :
02nd October 2004
asklepiades’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with asklepiades on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how asklepiades describes your relationship behind your back
’sarrah16 phoned the police on me again last night. I’m going to go around tonight and finish her off with my hunting knife.’
asklepiades’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
For the last year asklepiades has been pilfering sarrah16’s mothers bras from her lingerie drawer.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
asklepiades now has a full-colour image of you tattooed on their back.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
The world cannot take away what we have. We are destined to be two lovebirds entwined eternally in our love for one another. To cut the crap, do you fancy a fuck?
The Police
No. calls to the police :
17 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, could you put me through to the police? Hi this is sarrah16. Yes that is my real name, what’s so funny? I’m ringing to report a serious egging at my home. This psycho I met off the internet came over here just under an hour ago and started pelting my bedroom window relentlesly for what must have been half an hour before our next door neighbours dog came out."
asklepiades’s Police File
asklepiades will be the next Jeffrey Dahmer if they are not institutionalized immediately.
Testimonies about asklepiades
cagedtiger_wdm - A daring kleptomaniac
‘To be honest there was always something about asklepiades that gave me the creeps. Gave off a really weird smell. Almost like a decomposing racoon.’
afinalgoodbye03 - Pig-hustler
‘asklepiades was a depressing bore and I’m fucking glad they’ve been outted as a twat. Means I won’t have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.’
ninjawhop - Slap-happy
‘I’m tired of hearing about of these allegations about asklepiades. sarrah16 is a demented twat. Ignore her.’
myhairisorange - Snorts Lucozade tablets
‘asklepiades is pointlessness personified. I just wish they’d kill themselves or something.’
LJ stalking horror - a report by Sarrah16.
onus_caiais is stalking Sarrah16
onus_caiais’s REAL name :
Khan Critchley
onus_caiais’s REAL DOB :
21st May 1978
Height :175 cm
Weight : 98.0 kg
onus_caiais has dreamt about you :
24 times
onus_caiais became interested in you :
02nd July 2002
onus_caiais’s latest dream about you
You and onus_caiais are in a bar. onus_caiais carries you up onto the pool table and begins undressing you. onus_caiais starts to whip you around the ass with your own jeans.
This is how onus_caiais describes your relationship behind your back
‘I don’t want to be just good friends. I want to be with her forever. To death to us part and all that.’
onus_caiais’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
A pair of soiled underpants that you left out in your backyard after a night out on the razz.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year onus_caiais has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hunnybugs! I’m drowning out at sea without you. S.O.S! Mayday! Give me a fuck and I’ll no doubt find land!
The Police
No. calls to the police :
22 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Look, I need help now. A friend of mine is on top of my roof and they’re threatening to kill themselves unless I accept their marriage proposal. Fuck! I just heard a massive thud! Jesus they’ve done it!"
onus_caiais’s Police File
When it comes to heartless thugs there aren’t many criminals who would top the list ahead of onus_caiais.
Testimonies about onus_caiais
rikkusebraz - Rotten heathen
‘I’m tired of hearing about of these allegations about onus_caiais. Sarrah16 is a demented twat. Ignore her.’
_c_h_i_m_e_r_a_ - Worships the sun
‘I’ve known them both for a long time and I can safely say I’ve never met such a pair of nutjobs in my life. All of these claims are bullshit.’
i_am_h3ro - Mixes vodka with Whiskey
‘How depressing. I feel sorry for Sarrah16, it’s kind as fuck to a fault. Always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. All of this sickens me.'’
Stalked again, a rant by Sarrah16.
shatteredhavoc is stalking Sarrah16
shatteredhavoc’s REAL name :
Jerold Freeh
shatteredhavoc’s REAL DOB :
07th July 1978
Height :186 cm
Weight : 100.3 kg
shatteredhavoc has dreamt about you :
30 times
shatteredhavoc became interested in you :
26th March 2005
shatteredhavoc’s latest dream about you
You are on a golfcourse with shatteredhavoc and your tormentor is showing you kinky new ways to make use of the putter.
This is how shatteredhavoc describes your relationship behind your back
‘Sarrah16 phoned the police on me again last night. I’m going to go around tonight and finish her off with my hunting knife.’
shatteredhavoc’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
shatteredhavoc ‘borrowed’ your beloved collection of Bee-Gees LP’s whilst you were napping on Christmas Day last year.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
shatteredhavoc had the lower part of their legs removed in order to compensate for the difference in height between the two of you. Needless to say, you were suitably unimpressed when shatteredhavoc came to see you next.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I love you. Actually I know I love you. The ouijaboard said it was true. It told me to tell you that if you do not reciprocate my love you’ll get an arrow in the head.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
24 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police? Look that fucker shatteredhavoc is still harassing me. I got another valentines card smeared in blood today again. Can’t you do something about this? I’m starting to become scared for my life."
shatteredhavoc’s Police File
shatteredhavoc poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is Sarrah16. In that case, you are royally fucked.
Testimonies about shatteredhavoc
stupefyingangel - Spaced out junkie
‘I’ve been friends with shatteredhavoc all of my life and I know all of this is bullshit. Sarrah16 is such a drama queen.’
joaniebaloney - Geek isn’t the word
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded Sarrah16 really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
xcinna_spiderxx - Naked Meglomaniac
‘Thank Christ I never let shatteredhavoc into my house. God the thought of it all gives me the creeps!’
onus_caiais - Fart N Flirt
‘I’m sure if you were to look up useless in the dictionary you would see a picture of shatteredhavoc right beside the definition.’
Sarrah16 is being stalked on Livejournal!
kasumi_ai is stalking Sarrah16
kasumi_ai’s REAL name :
Darnell Carmack
kasumi_ai’s REAL DOB :
06th June 1985
Height :176 cm
Weight : 77.4 kg
kasumi_ai has dreamt about you :
11 times
kasumi_ai became interested in you :
02nd March 2003
kasumi_ai’s latest dream about you
You are working in an ice cream parlour. kasumi_ai approaches the counter and asks for a whipped vanilla cone. You step out from behind the counter brandishing a leather whip in full BDSM gear.
This is how kasumi_ai describes your relationship behind your back
‘Sarrah16 thinks we are just friends! Ha! I’m moving in for the kill!’
kasumi_ai’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
kasumi_ai has a vast collection of Sarrah16’s mothers cuttlery lying around their bedroom. For some reason only known to God
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year kasumi_ai has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hunnybugs! I’m drowning out at sea without you. S.O.S! Mayday! Give me a fuck and I’ll no doubt find land!
The Police
No. calls to the police :
26 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hello look this is a bit embarassing, I have a stalker who keeps trying to climb over our perimeter fencing and they seem to have become impaled on it again. Could you please send someone over to check it out? Thanks."
kasumi_ai’s Police File
kasumi_ai is a dangerous psychopath who will not let anything get in their way. Particularly the law.
Testimonies about kasumi_ai
tbschemer - Stone dead tripper
‘I always suspected kasumi_ai was a little weird, but never THIS weird.’
sarrah16 - Loves staring at dead bodies
‘I’m completely fucking gutted to hear about all of this. I always liked kasumi_ai. Are you sure you’re accusing the right person?’
i_am_h3ro - Car wreck of a human
‘kasumi_ai was a depressing bore and I’m fucking glad they’ve been outted as a twat. Means I won’t have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.’
sorcha_etain - Eats everything.
‘kasumi_ai’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’