CHOHW - Nine
“That’s it? That’s the plan?”
Jared pasted on his dimples and smiled winningly at Adrianne. If he was going to win a war, he needed soldiers. “Have you got a better idea?”
Adrianne snorted in his face. “I could come up with a hundred better plans.”
“Well then,” Jared wiped some of her errant spit off his face and waved his hands at the others assembled in the bar, “please, share with the class, because right now all we have is ‘storm in with guns blazing.’”
“Okay. Number one. You’re an idiot.” She poked him in the chest and Jared rubbed at the spot. Adrianne had super bony fingers. “Number two, have we all completely lost the plot? This whole mess started with finding your family. I say we regroup and figure out where they are, preferably before Jared gets himself slaughtered.”
Jensen shoved her out of the booth. “Why do you care? You still have some warm fuzzies for your queen? Want to prove how loyal you are so maybe she’ll keep you at the end of her bed while she purges the rest of us?”
“Fuck you,” Adrianne hissed.
“Enough!” Misha yelled, shoving aside the papers on the table and standing on it so they couldn’t help but listen to him. He’d been testy ever since his boss had been stabbed in the chest. “Adrianne is right. We don’t know what we’re getting into here. We need to prepare more; maybe we can talk to the priests, see if anyone remembers how to lay a…siege?”
“A siege. Really? What is this, the Middle Ages? How about we just blow the whole compound sky high and get rid of the bitch once and for all.”
Sophia smacked her brother in the back of the head, saving Jared the effort. “What about the hundred Nefertem in there, Chris?”
Chris jostled her off and rubbed his head. “Sometimes you need to break a few eggs.”
This was why the planning for last night had gone so dismally. Jared slammed his hand down on the table and glowered at them all. “No. We don’t. No more sacrificing, of anybody.”
Adrianne shoved her way back into the booth. “Well, a lot more people are going to die if you don’t make a decision here. You don’t know her like we do. She’s not going to wait while you decide what the humane approach is. You can save thousands by sacrificing hundreds.”
Jared shook his head. “No. There has to be a way to get at Bastet, alone.”
Chris leaned back and stretched his arms out on the back of the booth, succeeding in smacking both his sister and Chad on the backs of their heads. “So we’re back to guns blazing. Perfect.”
Jared put his head on the table as Adrianne punched Jensen in the nose and Genevieve pushed Misha off the table.
Next time, he was getting a better army.
…
…
In the end, it was a little more subtle than that, but not by much.
Chad, Adrianne, and Jensen went in first. With the resulting commotion of their traitorous return, the rest managed to slip in behind undetected.
Jared couldn’t help feeling like he was still sacrificing his people.
“Where would she be keeping them?” Sophia whispered in his ear. “And in case I fail to mention it later…how come their compound is so much nicer than ours? A nail salon? Really?”
“Sophia! Focus!” They were crouched behind a building just off what constituted the main street. Jared knelt in the middle with a map spread out on the ground in front of him where they could all see. “There are a few possibilities, here and here, or here…or here. We’re not splitting up. Things get totally screwed when that happens in the movies.”
Genevieve inspected the map over his shoulder and smacked him on the head. “Jared, are you basing our rescue mission on fucking Die Hard?”
Jared snapped the map closed and ignored her, taking off in the first possible direction from the map. There was entirely too much head smacking going on lately. Besides, it was not Die Hard… It was Lethal Weapon.
It was their third try that produced results. Jeff and the others were in the basement of a building that was surprisingly-or thankfully, depending on how he wanted to look at it-barely guarded. They crouched down on the ground again to go over the “plan.” The quotation marks were not metaphorical.
“Okay, Chris, see if you can climb that wall and… Chris?” Jared poked his head out of the huddle, searching.
A sharp snap and a dull groan alerted him to Chris’s whereabouts. Jared swore and broke formation, screeching around the corner instead; he skidded to a stop as Chris drove the heel of his hand into a Guardian’s nose, dropping him like a stone. Crossing his arms, Jared tapped his toes in frustration. Chris shrugged nonchalantly. “He’ll live.” When Jared didn’t give up his Mother Superior impression, Chris glared at him. “Oh, like you never wanted to do that.”
It took little to no effort to release the Kebechet; the problem turned out to be their numbers. Where they had been prepared to smuggle a dozen people out, they were confronted with upwards of sixty. Jared didn’t have time to think about where the others had come from, nor did he want to. None of them had been fed for a week and they were barely able to stumble out of the building. Jared decided to leave Sophia, Misha, and Genevieve with them. It was really pretty important that he won this battle against Bastet, all the more so because there was no way he was getting anyone out of the compound while she was still alive. He turned to Chris, ready to lay out the new plan, and ran smack into a wall of muscle.
“I’m not staying here. I’ve come this far, and you’re not getting rid of me now.”
All five foot ten of his friend was bristling with indignation. “Well that’s good, Chris, because I wasn’t going to leave you with them,” he said slowly, not sure where Chris had gotten the idea.
“Oh. Okay then. Glad I could make you see reason.”
Considering that Bastet’s temple took up seventy five percent of the compound, it wasn’t too difficult to find. Neither was a conveniently placed service entrance. They only encountered a few short scuffles as they made their way through a maze of corridors, but even so, Jared could have done without Chris humming the theme from Mission: Impossible. The hallways opened up into a large, ornate chamber and they ducked into an alcove, effectively hiding themselves from anyone who cared to look. Chris whistled through his teeth at what could only be the throne room and elbowed Jared. “Someone has an ego.”
“She’s a goddess. I hear they have issues.”
Jared took in the gold, the jewels, and the priceless antiques. Maybe she was a hoarder. Jared motioned to at least a dozen Nefertem patrolling the room. “How are we going to past them?”
Chris grinned maniacally and pulled two objects out of his pockets with a flourish. “Smoke bomb?”
“Where did you get those?”
Chris tossed one to Jared. “Chad.”
“Were you always this eager to blow shit up?”
Chris pulled the pin on the bomb and tossed into the room. “I’m growing as a person.”
Jared made a mental note to keep Chris and Chad far away from each other in the future before he dove after Chris, who had ducked behind a pillar. There was initially some shouting and cursing as, one by one, the Nefertem succumbed to the toxic gas and then the room fell silent. Jared and Chris crawled forward, low under the rising smoke, and headed for the opposite side of the room. According to the map, Bastet’s private chamber was in that direction. Both of them stopped short as a pair of red stilettos wandered out of the smoke and paused inches from their faces. Jared followed the shoes up past long legs and a red dress clinging to a curvy body; he had to crane his head sideways, but there was no mistaking the face at the top.
Bastet.
“You didn’t really think that was going to work on me… Did you?” she purred.
Jared fumbled for a response. “We, um, we didn’t actually expect you to be here yet. It was more of a distraction for your…and you don’t really care.”
“Sorry to disappoint.” She sounded anything but. “The traitors you’re looking for are awaiting punishment in my personal chambers. I’m going to torture them so beautifully, too; I think I’ll post pictures. It’s going to be a new jewel in my crown.”
Chris whispered out of the side of his mouth. “Kinky bitch.”
“But, now I suppose I’m going to have to wait until we’ve cleared up this prophecy bit.” The goddess sulked. Was she expecting sympathy? “So. Which one of you is it? Who’s the Ameny?” she asked impatiently.
Chris leaped to his feet before Jared could stop him.
“Son of a bitch, Chris!” Jared snapped, scrambling up. “I’m the Ameny. Let him go.”
Bastet stepped closer to Chris before Jared could get between them. “Well, one of you is. I can tell that much.” She ran her fingers down Chris’s face, her lips inches from his. “Is it you?” She put her hands on either side of his jaw, her thumbs rubbing circles at his temples. Chris dropped at her feet.
Bastet shrugged one perfect shoulder, her smile impervious. “Guess not.”
Jared fell to his knees beside Chris, frantically grasping at his neck and wrist, trying to find a pulse.
“Come on along, then.”
Jared bared his teeth. “Fuck you.”
“Such a dirty mouth.” She bent over him and Jared felt her exhale against his back. “If you want to see the others before they’re just burn marks on my carpet, I suggest you follow me.”
Jared had no choice but to follow Bastet as she glided into what he assumed was her bedroom and perched regally at the end of her bed. The three Nefertem knelt with their hands clasped behind their backs, but Jared couldn’t see anything restraining them.
“Oh, they are very well trained.” Jared sneered at the goddess. “They know they’ve done wrong and that penance will be paid.” She slid one foot onto Jensen’s shoulder and he nuzzled his face into her ankle.
“Bad kitty. Such a pity; you were so pretty.” Her foot jerked up and kicked him in the face. Jensen fell back on the floor, blood seeping out his nose. He made no move to get up.
“So docile, so accommodating. When I say so.” Jared watched her, his fingers digging into his thighs to stop him from going to Jensen.
“It’s a pity I never let him fuck you; he’s a tiger in the sack. Pun intended.”
“Yeah,” Jared said, his eyes roaming over Jensen’s prone form. “I got it.”
Bastet reached down and pulled Jensen up by his hair; laying his head in her lap, she stroked it and rubbed his lips. “You know, the saying is true, love; if you lie with the dogs, you wake up with fleas.” Bastet threw Jensen at the others and they all dropped into a pile in the floor.
“This doesn’t have to happen,” Jared pleaded. “Just give them to me and things can go back to the way they used to be.”
Bastet stood and stalked slowly towards him like a…well, like a cat. “I wish that was true, but you and I both know it’s not possible now. The prophecy is awoken. You killed Anubis. It’s a slippery slope.”
“It can stop there, I can…” Jared paused, unsure of how to continue or what to ask for. “We can make a deal. You leave my people alone and you’ll never have to see me again.”
“You know, once upon a time, I may have believed that earnest little puppy face.” She squished his cheeks together in her hands. “But I found out the hard way that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
Jared forced his words through the weird contortion of his lips. “Aren’t the dog analogies getting old? I know a few about curiosity and cats, if you’re interested.”
“Not funny.” Bastet released him and slapped him across the face, stepping away and turning her back to him. “Anyway, if nothing else, you have to pay for the death of Wadjet. That one really pissed me off.”
She flicked her fingertips in the air, not even giving him the courtesy of eye contact as she directed a wall of flame that flowed like a wave across the floor and straight at him.
Jared closed his eyes and tried to center himself, force his power to arc. Something. Anything.
Suddenly, the heat that had been licking at his skin was gone. Jared peeked one eye open; he was maybe kinda sorta expecting to see a bubble of white light protecting him.
Jensen stared back, his mouth frozen in a silent scream as he burned in front of Jared. Before Jared could gather up the brain cells to do anything, Adrianne and Chad leapt forward to roll Jensen between them, putting out the flames. Jared clenched his fists, fury lighting up his veins, white heat rolling over his skin.
“You know, I can put up with pretty much anything, bitch.” Bastet wasn’t even paying attention to him; she was painting her fingernails. Jared rumbled a growl that started deep in his gut. “But you’re not allowed to touch my boyfriend.”
He knew he needed to give his batteries time to charge. He was too pissed to wait, though, so in what was quite possibly the stupidest move ever, Jared tackled Bastet.
She threw him off like a cheap coat and Jared landed painfully in front of the fireplace.
“Are you kidding me?” she spat. “That was your big rebellion? Pathetic.”
The Nefertem-Adrianne and Chad, at this point-ran at her, but she tossed them aside as well. Jared backed up. He had no weapons. If he could touch her, then he could try the soul judgment he had done to Wadjet, but he didn’t think she would stand still long enough for that.
“Use the force, Luke.”
Jared glared at Chad. “Seriously, dude, not the time.” Jared was pretty sure the weird thing Chad was doing with his face was supposed to mean something; he wiggled his eyebrows and tossed his head towards the fireplace.
Bastet flung a hand sideways and Chad curled in on himself in pain. “What was that? This isn’t Hansel and Gretel; you don’t have the strength or the power to throw me into the fire.”
Jared looked at Bastet and then back at Chad, who seemed pretty hurt that no one understood his charades.
“He meant this.” Jared raised his arm and a ball of fire hit Bastet right in the face. While she was distracted, he took his chance to pull her against himself, sealing his mouth over hers; Jared threw every ounce of cleansing light he could muster into her body. Her face morphed into her true cat countenance as she choked on the light; Jared squeezed his eyes shut when he felt fur under his cheek.
Moments later, Jared felt Bastet burn up from the inside out. Nothing was left but a husk.
“Holy shit, Jared! You can shoot fire out of your hands!”
“I threw coals in her face, dumbass.”
He held up his hand and inspected the damage. His skin hung off his badly burnt fingers.
“I think I need to pass out.”
Jared went with that.
…
…
Jared woke up to obvious pain in his hands and a not so obvious pain in his head.
Sitting up, he pressed gingerly at the back of his skull and found a huge bump. “That’s new.”
“You hit your head on the fireplace when you fell,” was the dry reply.
“Adrianne?”
“Yeah. I just. Wanted to say thanks. For saving us. So. Thanks.”
Jared nodded distractedly. Any other day, he would have rubbed that in so hard, but today, he couldn’t care less; he was too preoccupied looking for Jensen’s body.
“He’s not dead.”
Jared pulled his head out from where he’d been checking under the bed. “What?”
“Jensen. He’s not dead. Not quite so pretty at the moment, but he’ll heal. He’s talking to Osiris. Yelling, actually. He wanted to give you time to…well, he wanted to give you time.”
“Brava, boy. Brava.”
Jared leaned back on the bed and fixed his glare in Osiris’s general direction. He was too tired to direct his ire precisely. “Can we just get this over with?”
“Down to business; I like that. It saves so much time when we don’t have to ‘process our feelings.’ Let me just-” He snapped his fingers and Chris’s body appeared next to Bastet’s. “There we are, two birds.”
“He’s not dead.”
Jared’s eyes jerked to Jensen, who may not have been his usual good-looking self, but looked pretty damn near perfect to Jared right then. “Huh?”
Osiris contemplated Chris for a moment, lifting his hand and letting it drop. Jensen hip-checked Osiris out of the way and knelt next to Chris.
“She does this…did this sometimes. She knocks them out and then plays with them for a while.”
Osiris twisted Chris’s head towards Jensen. “He’s not breathing.”
Jensen slapped at the god’s hands. “He’s alive, I’ve seen her do it.”
Jared crawled across the bed towards them. “To who?”
“Some of the Kebechet, over the years, got…ideas. She knew, she always knew. You think I was the first one to assigned to a Kebechet? Any of you who showed the slightest hint of being different, she had you watched.” Jensen trailed off, staring at his queen.
Jared sat down beside Jensen. “We would have noticed if she’d been killing us off.”
Jensen reached a hand out towards Bastet before letting it fall limply in his lap and hung his head. “She just made them seem dead, and then she sent them back.”
Jared blanched. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Chad nudged Chris’s leg with his toe. “They woke up eventually, right?”
Jared buried his face in his knees; his response was muffled but audible. “We burn our dead.”
Chad took a step back. “Oh.”
Osiris clapped his hands together, rubbing them vigorously. “Good talk. Okay, let’s get this show on the road.”
“Wait. What am I supposed to judge, she’s…” Jared stared at the shell of the goddess. Her decimated body was disturbing; the sunken cat face she wore in death was horrifying. “There’s nothing left in there.”
“Well, that answers the question, then, doesn’t it?”
Jared raised an eyebrow.
“You’re supposed to judge the good and evil in a heart. If you burned the damn thing right out of her, then there was nothing left to save.”
“What happens next?”
Osiris blinked at him. “How should I know?”
“Doesn’t the Ennead have a plan?” Jared waved his hands ineffectually. “An endgame?”
“Well…we didn’t really expect you to win.” Osiris looked sheepish. “Come to think of it, I’d watch out for a while. Some of the other deities might take this the wrong way.”
Jared stood up. “The wrong way? What do you mean, the wrong way?”
“Oh, relax, they’ll get over it eventually.”
Chad raised his hand. “How long will that take?”
“A few millennia or so. Some may take longer; Set can hold a grudge like nobody’s business.”
Jared choked on his own spit. “Millennia?”
Osiris poked Chris in the cheek, still shaking his head. “If I were you, and thank me, I’m not, I’d look into uniting what’s left of the Nefertem and the Kebechet. It’s your destiny, after all. Unite the nations, bring peace on Earth. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Now, this is just a suggestion, but I hear it’s harder to get to the king if his troops are in the way. Also, an alliance would not be a bad idea.”
Jared felt sparks in his fingertips and curled his hands tightly together. For the time being, Osiris was on their side. Sort of. He probably shouldn’t try to kill him. “An alliance? With who?”
“Well, Sekmet never liked her. Sibling rivalry, what’re you gonna do?”
…
…
“Dude, you’re like Superman.”
“Superman is a douche. I want to be Batman. Also? Get on the bus, Chad.”
Jared watched Chad and Sophia climb on the bus, their fingers linked.
Chris stepped up beside him , shaking his head. “I don’t like it.”
“Well, Chris, no one asked for your opinion.” Chris pouted. It was probably supposed to be menacing, but Jared knew a pout when he saw one. He pulled him into a headlock. “Don’t worry; somewhere out there is your special someone.”
“Bite me.”
Jared shoved him towards the stairs. “Just get on the bus.”
Jared hugged Misha and Genevieve. Sometime over the last three days, they appeared to have hooked up. Jared had forgiven Misha easily; after all, the guy had kind of been on their side. Also, it was easier to convince Genevieve that their destinies weren’t entwined if she had a fallback.
Adrianne had thrown herself into her new job as a Kebechet and Nefertem liaison, currently working at building an alliance. Jeff, upon hearing about it, had volunteered to be the Kebechet part of that equation. Neither of them was too happy, but they were trying.
“Okay, here are some sandwiches, and call us when you get there.”
Jared rolled his eyes but kissed his momma and sister anyway. He still didn’t know who his birth mother was, but he wasn’t ready for the hoops he’d have to jump through to find out. Yet.
He turned to get on the bus and pulled up short when he saw Jensen leaning against the door. The guy had been AWOL since the battle with Bastet. Jared still wasn’t sure what the disappearing act was supposed to mean.
“I thought…” Yeah, he had nothing.
Jensen casually folded his arms over his chest. “That you were going to leave me behind? I’m a guardian, Jared. I guard.”
Jared remained silent.
“This isn’t gonna be easy, and you’re gonna need me.”
Jared laughed, not an ounce of humour in it. “No. I’m not.”
Pushing past Jensen, he got on the bus and slid into the driver’s seat. He put his hands on the wheel and focused on the view out the windshield; he took a deep breath when Jensen slid into the passenger seat.
“I don’t need you. You’ve lied to me for years and screwed my head six ways from Sunday. I know what you can do...to my emotions.” He slid his gaze away and Jensen had the good grace to look guilty. “I don’t know if I can ever trust that what I feel for you is real.”
Yeah. That tidbit had been a real kick in the ass when a drunken Adrianne had started spilling all the Nefertem secrets. Jared toyed with the keys hanging out of the ignition. If Jensen wanted to dispute it, he should have damn well been there instead of gods knew where for the last few days. Grudge-holding was Jared’s new sport of choice.
“You also saved my life, probably more times than I know about. But I’m going to see Isis, and she’s going to teach me about what I need to do to be the Ameny, and I don’t need your help for that, either.”
He ducked his head and glanced sideways at Jensen, who was sitting quietly, his jaw clenched tight, not saying a thing to defend himself. Jared sighed. It sucked so fucking hard that pretty much everything he’d just said was absolute bullshit. “But I want you. I think without you, I’m going to fuck this up way more than I will with you. I don’t know if that’s you or me, but I’m willing to take the chance.”
Jared watched as a weight slid off Jensen’s shoulders. Producing a pair of sunglasses from his pocket, he winked at Jared and focused his attention on getting the spots of the lenses, rubbing them with his shirt. Adrianne, who had obviously been eavesdropping, threw Jensen’s bags up onto the rack; with a small smirk on her face, she slammed the door to the front of the bus and locked it behind her. Okay. Jared hadn’t really been expecting hearts and flowers, but a little bit of acknowledgement would not have been remiss. Jared turned the keys in the ignition and set the shift to drive; there was a light tap on his hand and Jared glanced over at Jensen.
“I love you, you know. In case that wasn’t clear.”
They really had no idea what was coming; a pantheon of Gods was waiting around the corner to possibly kill them, snake people could be lurking behind every bush they passed, and somehow, he was supposed to unite two nations of peoples who had hated each other for millennia so that they could fight a war they didn’t even know was coming. Jared watched the sun slide below the hills with a big stupid grin, dimples and all lighting up his face.
“Yeah. I got it.”
What lies behind us and what lies before us, is nothing compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Epilogue