Fic: You're a Regular Decorated Emergency - Chapter 5
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon
POV: First (Brendon's)
Summary: They were the outcasts of their school. The list started out as something innocent. Then Ryan wanted to get revenge in the only way he knew possible and he's dragging Brendon along for the ride.
Author's Note: Loosely based on the book Hate List by Jennifer Brown. (By loosely, I do mean very loosely. Also going to include a trigger warning in general right now (Self harm, alcoholism, bullying, violence, and several other things that may arise.)) Basically, don't read if you're going to be easily affected. Not as action filled, but consider it a blessing as it's an early update.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
“Brendon, you gotta get up,” My mom peaks in through my door and I squint at her. “Time for school,” She says before snapping the door shut behind her. I sigh and rub the sleep from my eyes as I sit up in bed. The longer I sit there, more details from the previous night come flooding back to me.
Ryan showing up.
The knife.
Gabe being killed.
Oh God.
Gabe.
I jump up out of bed, rip open my door, and sprint to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I’m vomiting. There’s nothing left in my stomach from throwing up from the night before and I can feel my muscles in my back straining to release what must be just pure bile from my stomach. I’m sobbing again and choke on my own tears as I begin to dry-heave. Finally I’m able to stop so I stand, flushing the toilet and rinse my mouth out with water from the sink.
Wiping my mouth off with a bit of tissue, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes seem sunken in a bit and I’m paler than normal, which is definitely saying something. I look closer to my eyes but I can’t see a visible difference, even though I feel as if they’ll be giving away everything anytime someone looks in them. Today is definitely gonna have to be a makeup day though. There’s no way I can go to school looking like death. Hah.
I comb through the rat’s nest that is my hair and finally get it to stick down at least somewhat normally before I venture back to my bedroom. I step over the various pieces of clothing strewn across my floor and notice the black hoodie from the night before. I nudge it under the bed with my foot and walk towards my closet, pulling out the first decent outfit I can find: an old The Doors t-shirt I got from Ryan and a ripped pair of skinny jeans. It will do I guess.
Just as I finish pulling my shirt on, there’s a knock on my door and I turn to see my mom standing there again.
“You ready,” She asks cautiously. She’s seemed to become more careful around me it seems since I’ve changed my clothing style last year. It’s almost as if she fears I’m going to randomly snap and shoot her like those parenting booklets the church gives out mentions. Then again, with what just happened with Ryan and what we were planning, it couldn’t be that far off the truth, right?
I nod and snatch my book bag off the chair at my desk before crossing the room and following her down the staircase and to the car. The car ride to school is quiet as usual and I use the time to pull out my iPod and listen to music. It’s only a 4 minute ride, but half a song sure beats an awkward silence. Before I can put my headphones in though, my mom speaks up.
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with that Ryan lately,” She edges, turning the wheel. I stare at her waiting for her to continue, completely frozen. I hadn’t even noticed that she knew who I had been hanging out with. And given that me and Ryan had been together for over 3 years anyways, I was surprised that it had even taken this long for a conversation like this to come up.
“Anyways,” She continues. “I think you two are a little too close. Plus, he’s not the greatest influence, honey. You could have such better friends. I mean, does he even have plans to do anything after school? Anything at all? His family isn’t exactly the best so I don’t really want to have you associating with that type of thing -”
I cut her off, “What do you mean, ‘that type of thing?’ There’s nothing wrong with Ryan. Just because his family is fucked up doesn’t mean that he is.” I instantly stop talking though because my mom gasps. I backtrack and realize what I had let slip and I stare out the window. Shit. I brace myself for the inevitable fight now, but nothing comes. I shoot a look over and see she is pursing her lips and gripping the wheel tighter, but still not saying anything.
We pull into the parking lot of Woodland High School and I jump out of the car before it even stops moving just to avoid any more conversation about Ryan. I dodge my way through the small horde of people making their way to the door and eventually reach the flagpole where I usually wait for Ryan.
He’s already there, along with a guy I’ve never seen before. I slow down a little, but keep my path walking towards him and I see Ryan notice me and give a small wave before turning and saying something to the stranger. They also turn to look at me as I approach and I suddenly feel very self-conscious of my movements
Ryan moves towards me, wrapping me in his arms and hugging me close to his chest. I stay still at first, but soon relax into it reasoning that he wouldn’t hurt me anyways. He was just doing these things to protect me. To make things better. I wrap my arms around him, hugging back and he kisses my jaw before backing out of the hug and pulling me towards the other guy.
“Bren, this is Frank,” he says gesturing towards the guy. He can’t be from our high school, at least not recently. He’s short, but he looks older in the face, probably early 20’s. Frank exchanges his hand and I grasp it, shaking it twice before pulling my hand back. “Frank’s gonna help us on some stuff,” Ryan continues, looking back at Frank who nods still staring at me. I shake my bangs into my eyes a little to cover myself and look towards the school door.
“I don’t go here anymore,” Frank finally says. “But I can help when you are outside school and if you need an alibi. No one would really expect us to be together except for right this second.”
I nod, taking it all and I glance around at all the people walking past us. No one is even looking our way, they never did. With the exception of when Gabe and his parade of morons decide to play “Torment the Queers” again.
I look back and Frank is still staring at me as if he’s trying to figure something out. I don’t like it, it gives me an extremely uneasy feeling. I squeeze Ryan’s hand tight and he looks at me raising his eye brow minutely.
“Well,” he trails, “We should probably get into school before we’re late. Bren and I will be in touch soon, though.” Frank nods and watches me and Ryan turn to walk into the school. I sneak a glance back as we’re about to enter the building and notice that Frank still has not moved and is staring after us. I try and brush it off as me and Ryan walk to our lockers, but there’s just something about it that I can’t shake.
Fortunately for me, something quickly comes in the way of my train of thought, driving Frank out of my mind. Unfortunately, however, that distraction comes in the form of none other than Brent shoving me into my locker door. I grunt in pain as the lock digs into my arm and I look down seeing a line of blood forming from it. “Fuck,” I hiss out, wiping it off onto my shirt.
“What’s your problem, Brent?” Ryan yells, shoving his shoulder as Brent tries to press me further into my locker. Brent smirks a little, stepping closer to Ryan.
“Your little homo boyfriend here was in my way, figured I’d teach him a lesson on how to stay the fuck out of my way.” Brent shoves Ryan a little and I feel my eyes widen. Big mistake there, Brent…
“Fuck you, Brent!” Ryan yells shoving him across the hallway into another set of lockers with a force that pops several of them open, dumping papers all over Brent and half of the hallway. Ryan grabs my hand and yanks me off down the hall after him towards the door. He drags me full speed out into the parking lot and to his car. I rip my hand from his grip and stop running once we reach it.
“Ry, what the fuck are we doing?” I pant out, staring at him with wide eyes.
He shakes his head, “I can’t be in school today, Bren. Please can we just skip?” I sigh and look back at the school. I mean, one other skip day wouldn’t make a difference. Besides, he and I skip all the time. Beats having to sit in math and English I guess.
I turn back to him and nod, walking to the passenger door. He sighs and smiles a little at me before realizing I’m not gonna return it and dropping it. We both slide into the car and he turns on the radio quietly as background music for the drive. We’re both quiet the duration of the ride to his house, but he grabs my hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. I know this is his way of letting me know he’s not mad and things are alright for the moment.
We park at an old abandoned parking lot near his house, and then make the rest of the way on foot to avoid his dad or someone driving by and seeing his car in the driveway. Once we get into the house, Ryan suggests we watch a movie and I nod in agreement as he walks off to find a DVD. I walk into the living room and plop down onto the old, brown, leather couch against the wall.
He comes into the room and holds up a copy of Saw II, “This alright?” I nod and he walks over putting it into the player and grabbing the remote before making his way over to the couch where I am. He falls on top of me and I wrap my arms around his middle holding him to me. Ryan works his way between my legs and I curl a leg around his hip, tangling us together. He smiles and rests his cheek against my chest, turning to watch the opening credits.
I soon lose focus from the movie and redirect my attention to running my fingers over Ryan’s facial features and through his hair. As I start to run my fingertips down his spine, he turns his gaze to me and smirks a little before leaning up and pressing his lips to mine. I smile a little, pressing back and tangling my fingers in his hair. He bites my lip and I groan a little, causing him to smirk even more.
He tugs on my lip and slides a hand down my chest to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up a little and brushing his fingers over the skin above my jeans. I shiver and tighten my fingers in Ryan’s hair, pulling it. He grunts softly and lets go of my lip, catching both of them again with his own and diving his tongue into my mouth.
I sigh contentedly and move my hands from his hair down to his neck and massage the skin there. I feel him tense up at first and then relax again, moving his tongue around in my mouth, coaxing mine to tangle with his.
These are the moments I wish me and Ryan had more of. Where he wasn’t preoccupied with getting revenge all the time. Where we were free to just be a teenage couple.
After a while we slow down our movements and he simply presses kisses repetitively against my jawline and neck. I close my eyes and trail my fingers up and down his spine again. I sigh and open my eyes remembering what my mom had said earlier. Ryan must feel me tense up because he stops and sits up a little looking at me with an eyebrow raised.
“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. I shrug, but he’s not buying it. “Bren…”
I sigh again and look back up at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. “My mom doesn’t like that I’m spending time with you,” I rush out. “She thinks you’re a bad influence and I don’t know if now she’s gonna stop me from being able to see you outside of school…” I trail off at the end having caught a glance at Ryan and seeing his reaction.
Pissed can’t even begin to describe the look I am getting. His eyes seem to darken as he sits up and shoves away from me and stands up. I watch as he walks over to his bag and pulls out the green notebook. I know where this is going but oh God no.
“Ryan,” I say hushed and he whips around to look at me. “You’re not… seriously…” He shakes his head and flips the note book open and scribbles something quickly before shutting it again and throwing it back in the bag.
“I’m sick of it, Brendon.” He growls out. “I’m sick of people thinking I’m not good enough. Not good enough for you. Not good enough for school. Not good enough for fucking anything. I’m done. They disrespect me? I’ll give them a reason to. I’m going to show them all they’re wrong. That I’m not some idiot who can’t do fuck all.” I sink back into the couch and pull my knees to my chest.
This wasn’t a game anymore. Although I could have realized that it wasn’t from last night, but the fact that Ryan is now going after not only the people in our school, but also my own family? This… is way beyond what I had wanted to happen with that stupid list in the first place.
Chapter 6
A/N: A reader sent me this song saying it fit the storyline of the fic and it really does, so if interested, give it a listen here :)
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon
POV: First (Brendon's)
Summary: They were the outcasts of their school. The list started out as something innocent. Then Ryan wanted to get revenge in the only way he knew possible and he's dragging Brendon along for the ride.
Author's Note: Loosely based on the book Hate List by Jennifer Brown. (By loosely, I do mean very loosely. Also going to include a trigger warning in general right now (Self harm, alcoholism, bullying, violence, and several other things that may arise.)) Basically, don't read if you're going to be easily affected. Not as action filled, but consider it a blessing as it's an early update.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
“Brendon, you gotta get up,” My mom peaks in through my door and I squint at her. “Time for school,” She says before snapping the door shut behind her. I sigh and rub the sleep from my eyes as I sit up in bed. The longer I sit there, more details from the previous night come flooding back to me.
Ryan showing up.
The knife.
Gabe being killed.
Oh God.
Gabe.
I jump up out of bed, rip open my door, and sprint to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I’m vomiting. There’s nothing left in my stomach from throwing up from the night before and I can feel my muscles in my back straining to release what must be just pure bile from my stomach. I’m sobbing again and choke on my own tears as I begin to dry-heave. Finally I’m able to stop so I stand, flushing the toilet and rinse my mouth out with water from the sink.
Wiping my mouth off with a bit of tissue, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes seem sunken in a bit and I’m paler than normal, which is definitely saying something. I look closer to my eyes but I can’t see a visible difference, even though I feel as if they’ll be giving away everything anytime someone looks in them. Today is definitely gonna have to be a makeup day though. There’s no way I can go to school looking like death. Hah.
I comb through the rat’s nest that is my hair and finally get it to stick down at least somewhat normally before I venture back to my bedroom. I step over the various pieces of clothing strewn across my floor and notice the black hoodie from the night before. I nudge it under the bed with my foot and walk towards my closet, pulling out the first decent outfit I can find: an old The Doors t-shirt I got from Ryan and a ripped pair of skinny jeans. It will do I guess.
Just as I finish pulling my shirt on, there’s a knock on my door and I turn to see my mom standing there again.
“You ready,” She asks cautiously. She’s seemed to become more careful around me it seems since I’ve changed my clothing style last year. It’s almost as if she fears I’m going to randomly snap and shoot her like those parenting booklets the church gives out mentions. Then again, with what just happened with Ryan and what we were planning, it couldn’t be that far off the truth, right?
I nod and snatch my book bag off the chair at my desk before crossing the room and following her down the staircase and to the car. The car ride to school is quiet as usual and I use the time to pull out my iPod and listen to music. It’s only a 4 minute ride, but half a song sure beats an awkward silence. Before I can put my headphones in though, my mom speaks up.
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with that Ryan lately,” She edges, turning the wheel. I stare at her waiting for her to continue, completely frozen. I hadn’t even noticed that she knew who I had been hanging out with. And given that me and Ryan had been together for over 3 years anyways, I was surprised that it had even taken this long for a conversation like this to come up.
“Anyways,” She continues. “I think you two are a little too close. Plus, he’s not the greatest influence, honey. You could have such better friends. I mean, does he even have plans to do anything after school? Anything at all? His family isn’t exactly the best so I don’t really want to have you associating with that type of thing -”
I cut her off, “What do you mean, ‘that type of thing?’ There’s nothing wrong with Ryan. Just because his family is fucked up doesn’t mean that he is.” I instantly stop talking though because my mom gasps. I backtrack and realize what I had let slip and I stare out the window. Shit. I brace myself for the inevitable fight now, but nothing comes. I shoot a look over and see she is pursing her lips and gripping the wheel tighter, but still not saying anything.
We pull into the parking lot of Woodland High School and I jump out of the car before it even stops moving just to avoid any more conversation about Ryan. I dodge my way through the small horde of people making their way to the door and eventually reach the flagpole where I usually wait for Ryan.
He’s already there, along with a guy I’ve never seen before. I slow down a little, but keep my path walking towards him and I see Ryan notice me and give a small wave before turning and saying something to the stranger. They also turn to look at me as I approach and I suddenly feel very self-conscious of my movements
Ryan moves towards me, wrapping me in his arms and hugging me close to his chest. I stay still at first, but soon relax into it reasoning that he wouldn’t hurt me anyways. He was just doing these things to protect me. To make things better. I wrap my arms around him, hugging back and he kisses my jaw before backing out of the hug and pulling me towards the other guy.
“Bren, this is Frank,” he says gesturing towards the guy. He can’t be from our high school, at least not recently. He’s short, but he looks older in the face, probably early 20’s. Frank exchanges his hand and I grasp it, shaking it twice before pulling my hand back. “Frank’s gonna help us on some stuff,” Ryan continues, looking back at Frank who nods still staring at me. I shake my bangs into my eyes a little to cover myself and look towards the school door.
“I don’t go here anymore,” Frank finally says. “But I can help when you are outside school and if you need an alibi. No one would really expect us to be together except for right this second.”
I nod, taking it all and I glance around at all the people walking past us. No one is even looking our way, they never did. With the exception of when Gabe and his parade of morons decide to play “Torment the Queers” again.
I look back and Frank is still staring at me as if he’s trying to figure something out. I don’t like it, it gives me an extremely uneasy feeling. I squeeze Ryan’s hand tight and he looks at me raising his eye brow minutely.
“Well,” he trails, “We should probably get into school before we’re late. Bren and I will be in touch soon, though.” Frank nods and watches me and Ryan turn to walk into the school. I sneak a glance back as we’re about to enter the building and notice that Frank still has not moved and is staring after us. I try and brush it off as me and Ryan walk to our lockers, but there’s just something about it that I can’t shake.
Fortunately for me, something quickly comes in the way of my train of thought, driving Frank out of my mind. Unfortunately, however, that distraction comes in the form of none other than Brent shoving me into my locker door. I grunt in pain as the lock digs into my arm and I look down seeing a line of blood forming from it. “Fuck,” I hiss out, wiping it off onto my shirt.
“What’s your problem, Brent?” Ryan yells, shoving his shoulder as Brent tries to press me further into my locker. Brent smirks a little, stepping closer to Ryan.
“Your little homo boyfriend here was in my way, figured I’d teach him a lesson on how to stay the fuck out of my way.” Brent shoves Ryan a little and I feel my eyes widen. Big mistake there, Brent…
“Fuck you, Brent!” Ryan yells shoving him across the hallway into another set of lockers with a force that pops several of them open, dumping papers all over Brent and half of the hallway. Ryan grabs my hand and yanks me off down the hall after him towards the door. He drags me full speed out into the parking lot and to his car. I rip my hand from his grip and stop running once we reach it.
“Ry, what the fuck are we doing?” I pant out, staring at him with wide eyes.
He shakes his head, “I can’t be in school today, Bren. Please can we just skip?” I sigh and look back at the school. I mean, one other skip day wouldn’t make a difference. Besides, he and I skip all the time. Beats having to sit in math and English I guess.
I turn back to him and nod, walking to the passenger door. He sighs and smiles a little at me before realizing I’m not gonna return it and dropping it. We both slide into the car and he turns on the radio quietly as background music for the drive. We’re both quiet the duration of the ride to his house, but he grabs my hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. I know this is his way of letting me know he’s not mad and things are alright for the moment.
We park at an old abandoned parking lot near his house, and then make the rest of the way on foot to avoid his dad or someone driving by and seeing his car in the driveway. Once we get into the house, Ryan suggests we watch a movie and I nod in agreement as he walks off to find a DVD. I walk into the living room and plop down onto the old, brown, leather couch against the wall.
He comes into the room and holds up a copy of Saw II, “This alright?” I nod and he walks over putting it into the player and grabbing the remote before making his way over to the couch where I am. He falls on top of me and I wrap my arms around his middle holding him to me. Ryan works his way between my legs and I curl a leg around his hip, tangling us together. He smiles and rests his cheek against my chest, turning to watch the opening credits.
I soon lose focus from the movie and redirect my attention to running my fingers over Ryan’s facial features and through his hair. As I start to run my fingertips down his spine, he turns his gaze to me and smirks a little before leaning up and pressing his lips to mine. I smile a little, pressing back and tangling my fingers in his hair. He bites my lip and I groan a little, causing him to smirk even more.
He tugs on my lip and slides a hand down my chest to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up a little and brushing his fingers over the skin above my jeans. I shiver and tighten my fingers in Ryan’s hair, pulling it. He grunts softly and lets go of my lip, catching both of them again with his own and diving his tongue into my mouth.
I sigh contentedly and move my hands from his hair down to his neck and massage the skin there. I feel him tense up at first and then relax again, moving his tongue around in my mouth, coaxing mine to tangle with his.
These are the moments I wish me and Ryan had more of. Where he wasn’t preoccupied with getting revenge all the time. Where we were free to just be a teenage couple.
After a while we slow down our movements and he simply presses kisses repetitively against my jawline and neck. I close my eyes and trail my fingers up and down his spine again. I sigh and open my eyes remembering what my mom had said earlier. Ryan must feel me tense up because he stops and sits up a little looking at me with an eyebrow raised.
“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. I shrug, but he’s not buying it. “Bren…”
I sigh again and look back up at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. “My mom doesn’t like that I’m spending time with you,” I rush out. “She thinks you’re a bad influence and I don’t know if now she’s gonna stop me from being able to see you outside of school…” I trail off at the end having caught a glance at Ryan and seeing his reaction.
Pissed can’t even begin to describe the look I am getting. His eyes seem to darken as he sits up and shoves away from me and stands up. I watch as he walks over to his bag and pulls out the green notebook. I know where this is going but oh God no.
“Ryan,” I say hushed and he whips around to look at me. “You’re not… seriously…” He shakes his head and flips the note book open and scribbles something quickly before shutting it again and throwing it back in the bag.
“I’m sick of it, Brendon.” He growls out. “I’m sick of people thinking I’m not good enough. Not good enough for you. Not good enough for school. Not good enough for fucking anything. I’m done. They disrespect me? I’ll give them a reason to. I’m going to show them all they’re wrong. That I’m not some idiot who can’t do fuck all.” I sink back into the couch and pull my knees to my chest.
This wasn’t a game anymore. Although I could have realized that it wasn’t from last night, but the fact that Ryan is now going after not only the people in our school, but also my own family? This… is way beyond what I had wanted to happen with that stupid list in the first place.
Chapter 6
A/N: A reader sent me this song saying it fit the storyline of the fic and it really does, so if interested, give it a listen here :)