Purple 1/4 (part 2/3)
Title: Purple
Pairing: SasuNaru
Rating: NC17
Chapter Rating:NC17
Warnings: Explicit rape, language
Summary: It's hard learning how to save peoples lives when you're so busy trying to save your own.
Author's Notes Second part. First part here: http://community.livejournal.com/sasuxnaru/2094711.html#cutid1
He lay there, dizzy with overbearing exhaustion and frustration. Sasuke was fumbling with something in the kitchen, but he couldn’t tell what. Opening drawers, opening cabinets, opening something that made hinges squeak. He allowed himself to slump down further, his white undershirt riding up slightly. His pants buckle felt too loose, like he’d lost twenty pounds since that morning, and his toes felt sweaty in their shoes.
A pair of bare feet came into view. He trailed his eyes up to see an equally bare chest. Sasuke was, if possible, even skinner than he’d looked before. His chest was broad, but feeble looking. His hips were narrow, his waist slim, and pale skin still undaunted by black wiry hairs. The naked shoulders, bony and white, met with a neck, and atop that a highly-strung head with a smug-looking expression on its face.
He approached slowly. It was then that Naruto saw what was in his hands. One was odd; a bottle of what looked like extra virgin olive oil, golden in its intricate glass bottle. The other was terrifying; a gleaming, sharp steak knife, hardly the length of his hand but with enough point to make up for its diminutive size.
That’s it, Naruto thought. That’s it. He’s fucking insane.
When the blond told him so, loudly and angrily, Sasuke just sunk to his knees before him, one leg between Naruto’s spread ones. He placed the mysterious bottle to the side, and to Naruto’s dread kept the knife.
“You crazy bastard,” Naruto whispered. His throat hurt too much to keep on yelling. “The fuck do you think you’re doing? This is illegal, you motherfucking dip shit, illegal/ They’re going to rag your pasty little ass behind bars and I’m going to laugh you sick fuck and---”
“It fine to talk,” Sasuke interceded gently, not an ounce of hurt appearing in his fierce eyes. “Words,” he scoffed. “They all you have, now.” Then he raised the knife to level with wide blue eyes, keeping it there for a long moment for affect, before gently tapping it against an unblemished cheek. Naruto flinched. He dragged it down lightly, with just enough pressure to pose as a threat, but not enough to leave a mark. The blond held deathly still. He slowly slid it down Naruto’s threat, and the small boy held his breath until it had cleared his collar. He felt the cold top of it slip over his shoulder until it was removed. The Uchiha’s hand lifted to grab hold of one of his wife beater’s straps, slid the knife under it, and jerked it upwards, splitting the fabric cleanly in two.
Naruto watched helplessly as Sasuke repeated the motion with the other sleeve, and then brought the knife point back to the center of his chest. Sasuke lifted the shirt slightly to slice a neat notch in it before putting the knife aside. He grabbed a side of shirt in each hand and in one deft motion, ripped the shirt clear off him.
Naruto was too busy watching the knife to pay attention to Sasuke’s face. As soon as he’d placed the weapon aside, beside the bottle of oil, the other hand was grasping his face again, fingers digging into his cheeks and finding the spots along the jaw that had already been worked into painful tenderness. Naruto cried out quietly before warm lips smothered his again.
It was more of a kiss this time than an assault. Sasuke took time to alternately press his lips against Naruto’s slightly open ones, to lightly flick his tongue out to taste him. He smoothly ran his mouth over his captives, shifting his body to a better angle. He spread his legs so as to straddle Naruto instead of sitting between his thighs. He gripped Naruto’s hip, thumb hooking through the belt loop and tugging him down until he lay flat on his back. Sasuke followed, never detaching his lips from Naruto’s, continuing to let his tongue grow bolder until the kiss grew just as vicious as before.
Their teeth clacked clumsily together as Sasuke attempted to get in further, thrusting his tongue in and out of Naruto’s mouth as if he owned it, pressing their chests closer together. Naruto found it increasingly difficult to breath, struggling to draw air heavily through his nose. He heard the raven do the same, and wondered why he didn’t stop to at least draw breath. It was like he was demented, drugged, addicted.
When Sasuke did draw away, he did so reluctantly. He feebly bit down on Naruto’s lower lip before he looked him in the eye.
Naruto waited a moment to recapture his breath before spitting in his face.
Sasuke took the time to wipe it off with his thumb before backhanding him with just as much force as the punch to the gut earlier. When the raven leaned back down for another stolen kiss, he rearranged his body to fit it better along Naruto’s. When he drew his tongue back out to play, he took the chance to grind his hips down hard. Even with his mouth covered, Naruto’s yelp was loud in the silently dimming room. Sasuke repeated the motion, drawing his hips up before diving them back down, rubbing his erection three inches upwards over Naruto’s limp one. He snuck one arm around the blond’s waist, using his forearm to dig into the small of his back, drawing Naruto’s hips up in time with his thrusts, forcing their pelvis’s to grind together.
As the moments drew on, the kiss grew sloppier, and Sasuke’s movements become more sporadic. He went from slow, long, powerful grinds to quick and pitiless ones, shaking them both, causing Naruto to cry out. Air became hard to find and at some point they broke apart. Sasuke instantly latched his mouth onto Naruto’s neck, biting and lapping at the flesh until dark red and purple marks bruised the tan skin. He sucked at small patches behind his ears before quickly running his tongue across Naruto’s chin, then down to the hollow at the base of his throat, all the while creating unrelated rhythms that the blond, against his better judgment, found himself starting to react to. The unrelenting friction combined with the utter helplessness of the situation--I can’t do anything, so just for five seconds, if I sat still, I can’t do anything anyway so what’s the point--intensified the cravings, and he could feel himself beginning to harden against the Uchiha. He grunted and turned his face away, staring at the wall that slid in and out of focus. Their chests, slick with sweat, slid together, making wet noises to match that of Sasuke’s tongue as it circled his throat.
The raven must have noticed the blond‘s sudden cooperation, or at least his dying struggles, for he started to bite harder and move faster, with more deliberation than before. And Naruto felt himself begin to move back. Slowly, at first, just tightening his leg muscles--what can I do anyway so just for a minute--until it escalated into him lifting himself off the ground, angling his arousal to match the with the one above him, reveling the noises it coaxed out of the silent boy. It felt good, with his body it felt good, with mid mind it felt wrongwrongwrong but that tightening in his stomach would not go away so what would it matter if--just for a minute--if--because I can’t do anything anyway--he started moving back?
It could not have lasted more than three minutes, but it seemed to stretch much longer than that. Moans and grunts filled the room along with the harsh sounds of denim and corduroy sliding again each other. The wet sucking noises Sasuke made as he continued to recklessly neck his unwilling partner died down as he lost concentration, too focused on the now-hard penis rubbing against his. They found their own rhythm to follow, long languid stroked of hips against hips, two pale hands groping Naruto’s behind and two tired legs fighting to lift himself off the floor. The blond’s shoulder blades and arms burned, but he could hardly feel them anymore. The tightening in his stomach was growing hotter, hotter, and the mantra that he’d been keeping in his head that it was only this once, that it meant nothing, spiraled away with the diminishing light.
He found his peak before Sasuke, crashing himself upwards one last time before collapsing. Liquid warmth soiled his pants, causing the material to stick uncomfortably. His eyes tightened shut as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm and waited for Sasuke to still above him. The boy continued to move as if possessed for ten more grueling seconds, in which the horrifying realization of what he’d just participated in came crawling back, bruising both their bodies, before he grunted and smashed himself downwards, suffocating Naruto with his weight. His fingers dug into sharp hipbones and he gave small, pointless thrusts as he enjoyed the white hot sensation of it.
White hot.
It wasn’t white. It wasn’t blinding. His orgasm didn’t bring the that bright light his previous attempts at masturbation had brought him. This one was shared, and demented somehow. Tainted, dirty with sin, but intoxicatingly pleasurable. It was almost… the color blinding his sight, the color he saw when he closed his eyes was…
Sasuke shifted above him. The semen was beginning to dry, and when Naruto moved he felt his boxers stick to his thighs. His arms felt bruised and stretched, and his shoulders were sore with rug burn. He knew that by now his neck must look like a plum and the bastard was gonna pay for it, this had to be all sorts of illegal, this was disgusting and disturbing and had felt too good for it to have been right.
Sasuke was sitting back down, sitting on his haunches to survey the damage below him. With one hand he absently ran his palm over Naruto’s stomach, not yet completely flat, still shiny with perspiration.
“You really should lose this weight,” he murmured. “You still are a child, aren’t you?”
“’m fourteen,” Naruto ground out, too tired to reply with a proper comeback. “That’s not a child.”
“Close enough.” Sasuke seemed to pause. “I’m sixteen.”
Naruto just glared up at him, unfazed by this new piece of information. It wasn’t that much of a shock; they guy looked way too old to be stuck with their class, anyway.
“I was held back few years when I came to America,” Sasuke informed him.
“I have bad breath in the morning,” Naruto replied sarcastically, “since it’s apparently show and tell time.”
Sasuke ignored the snipe. “Don’t you want know why I came here?”
Yes. “No.” Naruto shifted, trying to find a place to rest against where his arms wouldn’t hurt. “I want to know when you go back.”
“I’m not,” Sasuke said coolly. “This was temporary home.”
“Do I care?”
“Do you?”
“No.” Naruto sighed, ignoring the slightly pained look on his rival’s face. “Look, I won’t tell anyone what you did today, okay? We can just let it drop and forget about it. You can go off to some fancy city that’ll tend to every one of your pissy gay needs and I’ll rot away here in peace. Deal?”
Sasuke seemed to be ignoring him, now tracing the edge of Naruto’s pants, dipping his pinky in to touch the beginnings of course blond hair.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Sasuke admitted slowly, as if Naruto had asked. He pressed his other hand to the boy’s chest when he began to prop himself on his elbows, gently pushing him back down. “I always wanted my first time to be with you,” he continued, as if nothing had happened. “It’s shitty… cliché… but true.”
“Yeah, well, you want too much.”
Naruto had to had bipolarity to the growing list of trends he’d picked up in Sasuke’s warped personality. His hands went from gentle, soothing motions to gripping tightly at one bruised hip and the conjunction between his neck and shoulder.
“You think you are free of that accusation, you do?” Sasuke murmured, eyes like black ice. “’Stop Sasuke,’ ‘Get off Sasuke,’ ‘Let me go Sasuke,’” he whispered, “and then you arch up like this.” He pushed Naruto’s waist up with the hand still encircling his hip. “You want too much. You expect patience while you make up your mind. You expect everything you want from me while I receive nothing.”
“There’s nothing to make my mind up about!” Naruto cut in, alarmed. “I told you I didn’t want it and you didn’t lis--”
“Then what is this?”
“Wha--ngggh!”
Sasuke had cupped him firmly through his pants, palm pressing up roughly, coaxing a long, drawn out groan from his lips. He felt himself twitch beneath Sasuke’s rough hand, and his overwhelmed body simply caved in to the other boy’s wishes. He threw his head back, biting his lips to keep from crying out, twisting his hips this way, for more friction, the other way for less, for escape or for more of that warmth and the taste of ash he’d felt slithering over his skin, that he would still taste on his tongue, that he knew he would taste when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night, that every other mouth would taste bitterly normal, that he’d let trees burn and forests fall to have that scent in his nostrils because it was just so addictive.
Sasuke was talking again. “This is what I mean. Your body, your heart, are completely different. And it isn’t fair to not give me both.” He narrowed his eyes. “It all or nothing, dobe. Which?”
“N---ahh!” He thrashed his head, no longer sure of the answer himself. His mind felt clouded by his recent orgasm, by the building sexual tension, by the desire to feel more, from another boy nonetheless, to get more, to have more, to take whatever Sasuke would let him have, to take more than he could handle.
“Very well.”
It didn’t matter of Naruto had more to say, for in the next moment his speech was cut off. A rough black cloth was suddenly binding his mouth, and the blond faintly recognized it as the wife beater the older boy had been wearing, before it was tied into a secure knot at the back of his head. He felt his lips pull unpleasantly, and a tingling in his stiff jaw, but now that Sasuke was done palming him through his jeans to recollect himself.
Whatever Sasuke thought he’d just gotten permission for, he was very much mistaken. He swung his foot up and jerked it forward, into the other boys chest. He heard a slight wheeze as the wind was knocking from the raven’s lungs, but he lurched back only an inch or two before capturing the blond’s ankle and pushing it forward. Naruto felt his knee lock as he struggled not to be pushed all the way back. The position was too awkward for him to struggle back and he bit at the gag binding his mouth in frustration. His eyes felt hot and watery, his throat like stretched rubber. A gurgling erupted from his mouth and game out as a muffled, undignified whimper. He shifted on his painful arms, but the position he was forced into left one knee almost to his chest and the other hooked around Sasuke’s hip, held there by another hand. He glared the best he could, and slowly, that hand began to move.
It cupped his knees, thumb running circles over it, before it slid along the outside of his thigh, pausing every now and then to squeeze flesh. When the tips of his fingers grazed over Naruto’s backside, the blond finally jerked to life.
“Please!” he tried to shout through the cloth, but it came out as a low-sounding, “Aaaiee!” The sound was so feeble he doubted Sasuke had heard it. Even if the older teen did, however, he made no move to stop his ministrations. He moved his full palm to cup Naruto through his pants, gripping and releasing, rubbing and gripping before he began to dig his fingers into the crack he knew was there, pressing hard into the sensitive flesh with greedy fingers. All the while he stared into wide cerulean eyes with his lusting ones, watching as they finally began to brim over, searching for any sigh of enjoyment, any trace of acceptance. All he found was fear.
Because Naruto was finally starting to feel it. The realization of hopelessness, and the fact that right now, Sasuke could, and would, do whatever he wanted with him. For once, the blond wouldn’t get a say.
It was frightening, bone-chilling and frustrating. He had that familiar sensation when he was in a nightmare, where no matter the circumstance it felt like he was being torn from his life. Torn from his dreams and aspirations, from Iruka, from his family, that everything would change and he’d never see any of it again. The feeling where he knew it was a dream, but couldn’t find it in himself to find a way out.
Now was no different.
His vision was badly blurred and his lips trembled with the effort to keep from sobbing. He couldn’t stop the tears now, and the dripped freely down his cheeks. Sasuke didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed delighted to an extent. With a small smile on his lips, he drew his hand up to cup Naruto’s cheek.
“It’s all right to cry,” Sasuke assured him. “It is greatest honor to have someone cry for you.”
I’m not crying for you! Naruto thought frantically. I‘m crying because of you, you idiot! You’re scaring me! You got what you wanted, I’m terrified! You scare me shitless! You’re done, I’m scared enough!
I’m terrified.
Once Sasuke had finished with the button and zipper, he began to shimmy the articles of clothing down the boys hips. He pulled them so that Naruto’s bare ass finally touched the scratchy carpet, and then released his leg in order to pull them off of his legs. The blond saw a small window of opportunity when both his legs were lifted up, his back now forced flat on the ground, and as Sasuke leaned back to lean on his knees.
Schlip
The pants and blue plaid boxers hardly made a sound as they were lightly thrown to the ground. Naruto took his chance at Sasuke’s pause, when the raven lowered his eyes to stare at the blond’s lower half, to drop his heels down blindly. The angle he was in made it hard to see, and he was hoping for a good kick to the head, but he felt satisfied when both feet made some sort of mark. One felt like it landed on his shoulder, the other skimmed skin before it hit his collarbone.
Sasuke grunted in pain, leaning back once more, but only for an instant. Just as Naruto’s feet flew forward once more to kick at his chest, using momentum gained by shoving his arms against the ground, the larger boy leaned forward and flung his arms out knocking Naruto’s legs apart. Cool hands skimmed his shins before two vices ensnared his ankles.
The blond watched, horrified, as the pained look on Sasuke’s face gave way to a superior smirk, as if amused by his captive’s efforts. Then he pulled at Naruto’s right ankle, swinging his legs up and to the other, pulling and pulling, the angle causing Natuo to feel that if he pulled one more inch his legs would snap. He cried out and struggled, lifting his torso to twist in the direction of his injured leg, anything to alleviate the brutal force.
The tight grips on his ankle were gone now, replaced not a second later by hands pushing his hip until he lay face-down against the ground. Naruto blinked, inhaling sharply in surprise, breathing in the musty smell of the carpet. It smelled like dust, like it had never been vacuumed.
He stiffened as a naked chest pressed down into his back, pressing painfully against his bound arms. He muttered something in his ears before saying, in English, “Fool. Just give up.” A shifting, and suddenly Sasuke’s lower half was gone. Sasuke put all his weight on his chest and Naruto heard the distinct sound of a zipper being drawn down, then the whisper of cloth on metal as he presumably unbuttoned his shorts.
While Sasuke fumbled behind him, a new thought entered Naruto’s already wired mind. Just what was it that Sasuke was planning on doing? He wasn’t a girl, so--that--was out of the question. The worst of it had to be over, and Naruto tried to draw some relief from that. He forced his struggles to quiet, to willingly let Sasuke jerk off behind him if he wanted to. The worst of it was over.
But why am I scared?
Why am I still so damn scared of him.
“It could have been nice,” Sasuke was mumbling behind him. There was shuffling, and then the sound of clothing being kicked out from behind him. Two seconds later, Sasuke was gingerly replacing cold space with his own warm body, pressing Naruto into the ground, and the blond could feel it. Sasuke’s own arousal was hot and hard between his butt cheeks, and it pulsed as the raven slid it down and between his thighs to nudge at the smaller boy’s manhood. The raven braced himself on his left forearm and then reached over to grab for the intricate bottle of extra virgin olive oil with his free hand. Naruto thought it must have been an expensive brand. It was like liquid gold in a bottle.
Oil, Naruto thought. The fuck is he doing with that, anyway?
Sasuke had lifted himself off of Naruto one more time, and the blond lost contact. He bit at the gag nervously, trying to be still as possible. There was the sound of a cap being twisted from the bottle, and then air bubbles floating and popping as the bottle was overturned. But Naruto couldn’t feel a single drop. He waited with baited breath, sickeningly curious as to what the older boy was doing.
Shlick
Naruto could hazard a guess as to what it was Sasuke was rubbing the oil over, but the why left a huge, blank spot in his mind, and weighed heavily in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t aware of what homosexuals liked to do in their free time, but he knew it was nothing like what a girl and a guy could do. There were definitely a few missing essentials. So if it wasn’t sex, what was it that Sasuke was trying to do? He felt like he was tied to a train track and was waiting for the whistle of the train in the distance. He was waiting for the collision, for some sort of pain.
The bottle, sans cap, was placed an arm’s distance away, and two hands, one dry and pleasantly warm and the other cold and greasy, were gripping his hips and pulling him up. Naruto grunted as he was forced up and to his knees, face flushing as his bare behind was exposed to the chilling room air. Sasuke pried his thighs apart, shifting his legs so that they were widespread to the ground, and a violent complaint was muffled and went unheard.
“Could have been,” Sasuke was murmuring, and fear spiked through the fourteen-year-old once more, escalating to a nauseating level. The other’s blunt arousal was pressing against an oddly sensitive spot now, and shock crippled him to compliance.
“Perhaps next time,” Sasuke murmured. “For now… this might sting.”
For the first five gruesomely long seconds of it, Naruto was deathly silent. The shock of it, the unease it brought, and the gut-wrenching pain that started at his anus and spread like wildfire through every artery and capillary that wired his body, was too much to take in at once. Sasuke was silent too. Quiet, as if he’d forgotten something and just then realized it. Poised as he was, pushed in so that the tip of his cock and an inch or so more was nestled within the ring of tight muscle, he figured it too late. Naruto felt the way Sasuke’s hands were suddenly gripping his hips in an impossibly tight manner, as if he’d refurbished his resolve. And then Sasuke grunted and began to push forward.
Then Naruto screamed.
Things don’t go in there! he was trying to shout between cries. That doesn’t fit, get it out! Get it the fuck out it hurts it hurts it hurts!
Sasuke moaned, panting in satisfaction as he slid in further, feeling tight muscles clench around the thick width of his penis, the oil providing a natural-like lubricant, letting him ease in further. He ignored Naruto’s muffled protests, bending over the blond and biting his lips as he thrust further in, wanting to, needing to, force the last of himself into the warmth, wanting more and more and more…
“Mmgh! MHH!“ Naruto began to thrash beneath him, but his thighs were too shaky to allow a proper struggler. It felt like an iron pole had been shoved right through him, and he could feel himself tearing in two. His insides had turned inside-out, and what was once a tearing pain was soon twisting itself into a tidal wave of agony. As Sasuke pushed inch after inch in, he screamed as warmth began to trickle down his legs. Blood. He knew it had to be.
You tore something! he shouted internally. Bastard, stop, something’s wrong!
Sasuke wasn’t stopping. Naruto, on some level, realized he couldn’t even if he wanted to. But that didn’t stop it from hurting.
Sasuke began to pull out, slowly, enjoying the suction it brought and breathing heavily, basking in the long, drawn-out cry from beneath him before thrusting back in, not stopping until he felt his scrotum lightly tap against Naruto’s, and then grinding down, attempting to gain even more depth. The blond’s blood-curdling screams had given away to short shouts, broken up by sobs that shook his torso like the tremors after an earthquake. Sasuke used the tops of his feet to push forward while simultaneously dragging his captive’s hips back, meeting him halfway. He took a breath while drawing out, and exhaled after pushing in, face scrunching in pleasure. Warmth. Undeniable, quenching heat, tightly engulfing him, bidding him to come back inside.
Naruto, meanwhile, felt that he couldn’t breath. His nose was beginning to clog and the gag made it difficult to breath through his mouth. His face and chest rubbed unpleasantly against the rough carpet, heat a sure sign of carpet burn later. But even that couldn’t compare to the overwhelming pain ripping through his backside, doubling with each thrust into his body. Naruto attempted to ignore the other’s boy’s movements altogether, to forget about how odd it felt to have it inside his body, twitching and pushing, but all his mind came up with was the brutal pounding into his tight entrance and the animalistic growls coming from behind him, and the was Sasuke was beating and scaring the air right out of his lungs. He tried to count, but he knew he must have gotten the timing wrong because there was no way seconds could stretch as long as they did. He tried to simply concentrate on breathing, but the simple mantra of in, out because twisted and dirty before it had properly developed in his head.
In, out, in, out, shlup, shlup, breath in, slide out, breath out, slide in
Giving up, Naruto just took it. He lay his cheek down on the carpet, even as the carpet grazed uncomfortably on his cheek (why does it matter, just a little pain, everything hurts now, everything that exists and everything that doesn’t it all just hurts) and felt his head rap against the side of the counter with every thrust into his tired body. He listened to the wet sounds their conjoined bodies made, and the unintelligible Japanese phrases slipping from the raven’s lips like poison.
From behind him, Sasuke began to speed up, feeling that tightening in his gut signaling his oncoming release. His thrust grew less predictable, and he pistoned in and out of the younger boy in a reckless and dangerous manner. Every now and then he’d slip out and a miscalculated move would cause his penis to ride through Naruto’s thighs, or trail against the crack of his backside. Each time the raven would harshly bite into the blonds neck or shoulders in punishment, as if it had been his fault. Each time there would be a heart-stopping, beautiful reprieve of the pain before Sasuke positioned himself against the bleeding entrance and stuffed himself inside again. Naruto had stopped moving and all he had now was that feeling, that incredibly feeling. The feeling of sexual pleasure, the feeling of power, power over another human being who had walked in with a high head and now lay face-down on his floor while he fucked him. He stopped pulling out so far and made short, shallow thrusts, vibrating the body below him. His hips were aching but he wasn’t at all tired. He was so close, closer to the edge than any act of masturbation had brought him. Hot, swollen walls surrounding him, making it so easy to slide right up and in over and over.
He moved faster, a long, guttural moan rolling off his tongues as well as several foreign curses. Naruto’s fists clenching in their bindings and he tore at the cloth in his mouth with his teeth. The blond could feel a hard, sweat-soaked stomach smooth over the curls of his fingers, and just the simple soothing motion added to a long list of things slowly teasing him over the cliff and into insanity. To take one step and let gravity drag him down further than ever before, further than Sasuke could ever drag him. Where nothing would matter, everything would become meaningless. Even this.
Stop, his thoughts still murmured with a mere fraction of the strength they’d once had. Even if just for five seconds. Stop for five seconds and I’ll be okay, and you can do whatever you want with me. Just stop for five seconds…
But five seconds went by, and Sasuke continued to move. In retrospect, it didn’t last long, perhaps two minutes. To Naruto, it felt like his whole life was dwindling by as he waited for Sasuke to finish. Waiting for the unbearable pressure and strain to go away and never come back.
Just when the pain had faded away, just as all Sasuke’s cock felt like was a blunt instrument and not a solid piece of molten steel, just as the blood stopped flowing so rapidly, Sasuke jerked oddly inside of him. The older teen curled over Naruto’s back as he gave one final thrust, biting into the side of Naruto’s neck hard as he swallowed a scream. His hips gave little jerking motions and Naruto felt something disgustingly warm flow inside of him, and then outside, staining the insides of his thighs.
Sasuke sighed heavily, his hips slowing shifting, and then he fell quiet and still, collapsing on top of Naruto. Their twin sets of heavy breathing were uneven and loud, now the only sound in the room. The sun had finally set, and the walls were masked with dirty orange. The windows were open, and a chill racked Naruto’s body. But he kept on trembling, and could no longer blame it on the cold.
With a grunt, and a soft, hushed cry on Naruto’s part, the boy slid from him with an embarrassingly loud wet sound. There was a pause, as if Sasuke were uncertain of what to do with himself, before he collapsed to Naruto’s right side. The blond’s head had been laying to angle towards his left, and with the way his neck ached, he knew it would be only beneficial for it to move a bit. But it was too painful now.
And he knew, just knew, if he saw any trace of bliss, any pleasant expression, on Sasuke’s face, he would break.
The raven was untying his hands now, with what felt like only one hand. Their frantic movements from before has lessened his restraints, and Naruto probably could have released himself without too much effort if he wanted. For now, he was content to let the other boy do it. When his arms slid to the ground, he wondered f they’d roll right off; white hot pins and needles digging and scraping his joints. They were too giant, long bruises, held on by ligaments that felt like they housed hot magma. It was altogether too painful, altogether soul crushing.
Then Sasuke undid the gag. At first it choked him further as he pulled, but then it slumped like a dead snake to the floor, stretched and damp. It was Sasuke’s shirt, Naruto realized, before he took a deep gasp of air like he’d been denied it for days. At first he choked, like he swallowed too big a lump of food or a drink had gone down the wrong pipe, and the exhale was shaky. His next breath he choked on as well, several times, and it came out in a low, whistling gasp. He choked and gagged on the air like it was toxic, and his lungs felt swollen, deprived of oxygen, he’d run a million mile race and a bag had been tied over his face and he couldn’t get enough air.
Naruto didn’t realize the choking on air was actually a series of wrenching sobs until he felt a warm, rough hand begin to trace soft circles over his shoulder blades. That made him cry harder. He tried to move away, to shrivel away, but the mere motion sent bolts of pain racing up his spine like lightning, causing his whole body to burn. He felt broken already, physically broken, he could smell the blood and feel it drying on his thighs with Sasuke’s semen. That blood came from somewhere, and he knew it wasn’t from the older boy.
But when Sasuke shifted to wrap an arm around his waist, and a body spooned him from behind, he felt entrenched in ice despite the rigid warmth, the hot and sticky remains of sweat and blood. There was truly no air now and he cried harder than he’d ever cried in his life. It was like being born again, from something pure to some worthless, broken, filthy possession. Some dirty, tainted, disgusting vermin and what he wouldn’t give to die.
The crying, the countless tears running down his sweaty cheeks, and the way his body shook didn’t make him feel less a boy, less a man. No, he’d gone far beyond that. Sasuke’s stripped him of everything now, including his humanity.
He didn’t feel human anymore.
He didn’t speak until he managed to finally calm himself down, and that in itself took longer than the actual act. Sasuke waited with baited patience, every now and then run a hand over his hip or his chest, or run fingers through his knotted hair. He felt lips latch onto the skin at the back of his neck, on his shoulders, the shell of his ear, the curve of his jaw. Half of him found it natural, the gentle caresses smoothing out the broken pieces of him after such a harsh and violent act. It was the smooth sandpaper after the iron file had shaved him down to his core, a cooling salve placed around his pounding heart. The other half, he figured, anyone would have felt.
Every pore was bleeding. Every breath brought him closer and closer to vomiting, adding to the mess on his skin already. That half was crying and crying, getting louder and louder with each past second. It was like the rape was the eye of the storm. Once it had blown over, now Naruto had was himself to face. And what a self it was.
Bleeding.
He’d never felt this way before, and knew he never would. How could a life ever grow this dark? How could he ever get clean? Would his and Sasuke’s essence ever wash out of his skin? Would that soul-eating pain working its way from the bottom up ever ease up? Would his eyes ever stop burning, would his throat ever stop turning itself out as he choked down waves of nausea? Would the bruises fade, or would they remain yellow smears on his skin forever? Would he ever be able to shower, to bathe, without resisting the urge to scratch off every follicle of skin? Would he ever be able to kiss someone without wondering when the fire would turn saliva to grisly ash?
And would those dark eyes ever fade from his memory?
He’d stopped crying now and lay quite still. So did Sasuke. So quiet, so still, suspended in time as they were the blond had to wonder when it was that he’d fallen asleep. Or, more correctly, he began to doze. His eyelids fluttered like shutters in the midst of a heavy storm, and his heart went from too fast to too slow. He wasn’t aware of whether his breathing was louder than the others or now, but it didn’t feel right. Like this was another world his lungs had yet to adapt to the air of. There was a distinct barrier, now, between him and the rest of the world he’d left barely an hour before. Already he felt different.
He wasn’t human.
Sasuke was murmuring something again, he realized belatedly. He thought of turning his head a bit to hear better, but decided that it was too much effort. He wondered if Sasuke had changed, too. If he would look at his reflection into those eyes like black ice and see something different than the image that had stared at him in the mirror that morning. His insides had rearranged, and his heart had, metaphorically, stopped beating. It had yet to restart.
And he didn’t want to see Sasuke. Not now, not ever. He wanted to turn around and see thin air. He wanted to wait a few minutes before dragging on his clothes to stumble out the door and act like the luckiest survivor of an act of gang violence. Although he might have fared better with a gang. The gang could only rearrange his face, not his whole existence, like one sixteen-year-old with only a loose grasp on the English language could.
“Naruto,” Sasuke was saying, his tongue slipping the ‘r‘ into an ‘l‘. “Naruto. Naruto…? Naruto!”
Stop. Stop saying my name.
“Are you listening me?:
I wish I were able not to. What did he want? What more could he want?
How much more can you break me before you’re satisfied?
“Are you all right?”
He’d never felt less all right in his entire life.
Sasuke was shifting again, and hands returned to his body. He was too exhausted to suppress the flinch that shook his whole body. The dark-haired youth didn’t seem to mind. Grasping one shoulder and one hip, he drew Naruto to lay on the side, where he paused at the sharp gasp of pain. Naruto gritted his teeth, and felt his cheeks burn scarlet when fluids seeped between his thighs and dripped to the floor. Then he was gently coaxed to lay on his back where he lay panting, eyes squinting but no longer closed. Sasuke was one of the last things he needed to see, but even worse than that was the dark. He didn’t want to be closed in by darkness now, not when he was surrounded by so many blind spots, as vulnerable to attack as he was right now.
He saw the older boy’s outline first, a halo of glowing light separating him from the rest of the world, the rest of this frightening world Naruto had stumbled into by accident. Then he saw those eyes, thick ribbons of concern reeling in them like an old film strip and contradicting everything he’d done up until this point. And although he couldn’t see his reflection in those eyes, he did see the way Sasuke looked at him. It was like he was a toy; a toy he’d just purchased, only to break it after the first afternoon of play, and was now determined to fix it before his parents came home to find it broken n pieces upon their floor.
“Do-I-,” some muttered Japanese, “I didn’t meant--I didn’t want--to-- that to you…” He stuttered and stumbled, forgetting his lines, seemingly trying to convey with his eyes what his mouth had obvious problems with. “I… don’t know what was over me….”
Naruto couldn’t say anything, or move his mouth into a frown or a grimace. He doubted if he could even cry anymore. His tear ducts must have been dry and barren by now, all their hard labor drying in salty tracks across his face. He couldn’t help but think, in his numb state, where his voice had gone to. He longed to rip into the boy above him with every single insult in his living memory, and then some. He wanted to ask, to demand, how Sasuke could thing an “I didn’t mean to” could solve a single thing.
Sasuke’s thumb stroked over the edge of his eye, and then ran through his hair tenderly. His face begin to waver less, and he could see a fierce look in those eyes. Naruto could recognize anger in the blink of an eye, but found himself dumbfounded under that stare, unable to identify even a single emotion that was reigning through his companion, that made him look like he had a dozen swords stuck in his back and digging deeper every second.
“Do… you need anything?” he was asking softly. “I--” He faltered, leaning back, then leaned forward, and then back an inch or two. His pale, bony shoulders still shimmered with sweat. “I’ll go get you something… Do you need lie down? You can go my bed, or--or--you can lea--” the last word stuck in his mouth and went unfinished. “How about a drink? I can get you a drink, if you wish.”
The ‘r’ sound was slurred and sounded more like “dlink”. Sasuke would get him a drink and then he’d corner him and tear him in half because there was something in the drink, something in the air, than was reminiscent of poison but thousands of times more lethal. It was utter power versus cowering weakness, it was smug superiority versus strong inferiority, it was the dark versus the light and he’d had to concede that the dark could exist with no light while feet were forever implanted in shadow. It was good versus evil where both sides were playing the other up to be the villain. Naruto had made a mistake. He shouldn’t have left his bed, he shouldn’t have agreed to do the errand, he shouldn’t have accepted that drink that made one thing lead to another after another after another until all those anothers had him dying and bleeding on a floor that wasn‘t his.
Die, die, die, let him die, don‘t let him die, he‘s only human, he isn‘t human, he can‘t be human now, but then what does that make me, both of us monsters, death is such an ugly word, even for beasts like us, but stillstillstill, I don’t want to see his face anymore!
“GET AWAY FROM ME!”
He’d found his voice. It was like the long half hour in which he’d been gagged had been a mere few seconds, and that he was starting off from where he was so rudely interrupted. Now he could shout, scream, tear at him and tear him up until he could feel even a fraction of the pain Naruto felt.
Sasuke vaulted back onto his ankles when Naruto towered over him, those two inches of added height making all the difference. Then a half uttered cry as the blond was immobilized by a brief flash of fire burning up his spine, and then they were at eye level. Naruto’s eyes darted down and he saw a smear of blood on the older boy’s pelvis before he forced his eyes back up. He couldn’t look at it, he wouldn’t.
“Get away!” he tried shouting again when Sasuke didn’t budge any further. “Go--get out of here!”
“I can’t,” Sasuke whispered, vague shock marring his white face. “This mine apartment…”
Naruto gritted his teeth, blue eyes flashing brightly, feeling so hot he wondered if even his pupils had turned red. “Fine!” he snapped. “Fine!” He leaned forward, now expecting the sharp pain and ignoring it. “I’ll leave, then!”
But before he could get much farther, Sasuke had grabbed him by the forearm and was forcing him back down. “Wait!” he urged. “Please, just wait! You’re hurt. Lay there while, let me get you ice or--or something, but please, just wait!”
“No! Let me GO!” He thrashed, and fingers gripped icily into the already bruised flesh of his wrists.
“Just let me explain, then! You can… you can go, all right? Let me explain first, then you go.”
“No! No, no, NO! I’m not listening to ANYTHING you have to fucking SAY! I’m leaving and I’m getting your ass hauled into fuckin’ prison! You… you forced me and I don’t know about that harebrain place you grew up in but over here it’s ILLEGAL!”
Sasuke’s face was quickly falling with every word, but now it brought itself back up into a twisted sneer. Like the flip of a coin, Sasuke had done a one-eighty. Naruto knew, in that moment, that Sasuke had not had a single intention on letting him go. That if he’d stayed, like the raven had asked, he wouldn’t have been able to leave later. It would have boiled down to this, all to this, and it was better to skip the formalities and dive straight into the point.
“Like you go to anyone,” Sasuke snorted. Naruto gasped as he was forced back down, and winced when his knees buckled unpleasantly beneath him. Both of his wrists were caught now and despite his frantic pushes, they were forced to the floor on either side of his head. “What are you, Uzumaki? A girl? Run and scream rape to authorities, hoping some will protect you? I may not know you as well as I thought I did, but I know you well enough. I know you not enough of a cowardice to run screaming and crying. Although…” Smirking, Sasuke, drew both hands up until he could grasp them single-handedly, and used his free hand to lightly slap Naruto’s cheek twice. “Looks like you already cried yourself out.”
“Shut up!” Naruto hissed, his cheeks stinging with the sudden blush that ran from his hair line to his ears. “Just--”
“Eh, what’s wrong?” Sasuke asked, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Going to cry more on me?”
“Shut up, shut the fuck up! Get off of me, now! I said get--”
“It hurt, then, didn’t it?” Sasuke asked, and before Naruto could mull over the statement for more than a split second the raven ground his hips down, and the blond could feel his penis against his thigh, twitching and stiffening against his skin. “It’s a lot bigger than yours, isn’t it?”
“Stop it,” was the embarrassingly low reply he managed. He couldn’t think of anything else right now. It was like he was in the middle of having his whole mindset renovated and they’d only just threw his old personality out. “Stop, please, you’ve done enough….”
Sasuke continued to move, and then there were hands, hands everywhere. They crawled up his sides before running over his chest. Two sets of forefinger and thumb found dusty nipples and pinched, twisting until Naruto was forced to cry out.
“I’m sorry,” Sasuke was saying, pausing his rocking hips to shift down, letting his mouth draw wet, slick lines from his neck to his heart. “I didn’t mean those things.” Sharp teeth stopped to nick at his left nipple, and the blond whimpered when a rough, wet tongue lapped at the pebbled skin while the calloused pad of his thumb smoothed and flicked the other one, the other fingers gently running nails continuously over tan skin.
At a loss of what to do, how to struggle, Naruto gripped at the broad shoulders, pushing gently, but not making a sound. Sasuke simply captured the hands again and then moved them to his head, forcing smallish fingers to bury themselves in ebony hair. Sasuke’s mouth detached from his skin to whisper, “That felt so nice, earlier. When you ran through my hair.” He laid a gentle kiss to the skin he’d just ravished. “My mother did that, when I was young.” Eyes as dark as his hair shut gently and a small smile cracked through. “Feels so nice.”
Naruto kept his grip on Sasuke’s hair tight, the hold he has on his head undoubtedly painful, but Sasuke didn’t protest. Instead he licked down his chest, sucking on the skin just below his rib cage, every now and then sucking tiny bits of flesh into his mouth and biting, leaving angry little red marks like polka dots. He swirled and dipped his tongue into his belly button, gnawing at the ring of flesh before mouthing soothing lips over it. Plunging down further, further, every now and then to whisper sweet words to his captive, promises of pleasure, apologies for the pain, for not paying attention to Naruto’s needs on a quest to fulfill his own. Promises and lies, promises and lies… Naruto hung his head back when Sasuke quickly tailed a line of fire back up his chest and to the crook of his neck, pausing briefly to delve into his collarbone with a hot tongue, and then biting, hard, at the muscle that ran up to meet his ear. Naruto’s eyes twitched and squinted for an insignificant fraction of time before staring dully at the ceiling. Pale, cool hands worshipped at his sides, then ran smooth circles over the abdomen, like they’d never touched skin before, that they’d never met a human body before, and that each inch was to be memorized and committed to memory. Absent-mindedly, his numb fingers ran through hair like black spider web, soft and sticking, so beautiful to look at and so deadly to fall into. Sasuke purred his approval, licking the bright red skin he’d bitten into so harshly. Naruto noted that he’d seen this hair somewhere before, the strong sense of déjà vu momentarily over-riding every other sense, and he could have been lying on his bed at this very moment, it would feel the same. He couldn’t remember where. But the touch of it, the smell like ash, and perhaps a bit of the cinnamon Naruto always smelled from his teacher’s mints, reminded him of something that he could not remember.
The carpet beneath his body had gone wet, soggy, and Naruto thought he was truly drowning. Some feared that being buried alive was the worst death one could ever be faced with. Some feared fire, others of dying alone. Naruto feared drowning. To have the frustration of seeing the surface, his salvation, hang unmoving and so real above his head and to be trapped by something as weak, as intangible as water. To sink and to never resurface.
He was too afraid, he realized, and that there was a cliff he’d fallen off some time ago he couldn’t climb his way up from. He was too scared, too petrified stiff to so much as move, to scream, to protest, to push. He wanted sleep, yes. Now a darkness would be a blessing, a gift he’d never asked for but was so pleasantly surprised to find. He wanted to sleep, to let his mind repair itself, to fall into bed, alone, by himself with no watchful eyes, and to sleep until all the bad things were gone. To have a dreamless slumber, to sleep, sleep, sleep it all away. The air was a dark burgundy, like dried blood, night time so close. When it came, he knew, he would sleep. He would sleep until he didn’t know who he was and he’d wake up a new person. Just wait until night. Everything, everything would be all right again.
Sasuke’s foreign cursing brought him back to reality, and he realized that the floor was, indeed, wet. He could feel his hair sticking to his neck and the back of his head, and the smell told him it was the extra virgin olive oil again. For the first time in a long few minutes, he uttered a long, throaty groan. He wondered how his body could react to the meaning behind this, to the fear, when his mind was so far from caring. His heart no longer seemed interested in his well-being.
“Your body, your heart, are completely different. And it isn’t fair to not give me both.”
You can’t have both, the smaller, fiercer part of Naruto’s brain snarled, like a box with its foot caught in a bear trip, you have my body, you son-of-a-bitch. It’s all yours. But you can’t have me. I’m not yours. I’m not yours!
“And it isn’t fair to not give me both.”
You’ll never get my heart.
“It all right,” Sasuke was murmuring half-heartedly, distracted as he fumbled behind Naruto’s head. “I forgot last time. It will make it much easier.” Done with whatever he was doing, Sasuke drew his hand back, and his partner noticed that it was coated in a sheet of thin, clear gold. “You’ll like this,” Sasuke promised. “Much easier. You’ll like this.”
Sasuke head was gone the next instant, drawing back so that he could scoot back further onto his haunches, and then dropped back down to his knees, the long, thing white body bending at the centerfold and exposing his back. The spine created a clear line running from below his shoulder blades and down, vertebrae stretching the pale skin even further than what it already was. But in the natural dark, with the daylight seeping slowly from the sky, he looked natural, like a blank canvas waiting to be painted upon by whatever color the sky wished. Naruto felt sickly, like the reddish-orange glow mixed poorly with his own tan skin.
And then none of it mattered.
“AHH!”
Wet, hot, sucking
Naruto thrashed, but the attempts at freedom were half-hearted, his hands stuck to Sasuke’s scalp as if bonded with super glue. The head bobbed up and below from the horizon of Naruto’s eyesight, sucking with enough fervor that he swore the skin would peel right off. But that hot, slick tongue he’d sworn was disgusting was now laving at him, those sharp incisors were creating spindles of pleasure to spike, and that tight, hot, wet heat.
“Nhh… AH!” He arched his head back, and hardly noticed a pinprick of pain from his anus, playing it off as a result of his movement. In a few seconds, he could hardly feel it, just a numbing ache to go along with the rest of his body’s bruising. But Sasuke was swallowing around him, drawing more of him in, and flicking his tongue at the head of erection and it felt too good to notice anything else. Anything except for more pain, this was sharper, and this one stayed with him. Panting, he tried refocusing on the pleasurable way Sasuke was now using one hand to thumb his scrotum, but found the niggling curiosity took the hold on him.
It wasn’t until Sasuke added the third lubed finger that Naruto realized what they were, and panic started arising despite Sasuke’s excellent attempts at distraction. The older boy fingered his insides, the nails uncomfortable against the inner walls and his abused, blooded entrance stretching too tightly over the digits. But when Sasuke started to push them in and out in time with his sucking, the sharp pain became a minor annoyance. The uncomfortable feeling of the fingers remained slightly odd, but felt good compared to the brutality it had suffered before. In fact, it felt good compared to almost anything. The gentle push and pull created a nice rhythm, filling him with a sickeningly sweet sensation of bliss.
Naruto groaned when the fingers were removed completely, as well as the mouth, giving one last flick of the tongue across the sensitive head. He heard the familiar schlip sound that had warned him the time before, and he shut his eyes, waiting for it. The head in his hands was drawing up, the pain would come momentarily, and maybe Sasuke would sleep afterwards this time and he could get away…
He didn’t expect to be kissed.
Pairing: SasuNaru
Rating: NC17
Chapter Rating:NC17
Warnings: Explicit rape, language
Summary: It's hard learning how to save peoples lives when you're so busy trying to save your own.
Author's Notes Second part. First part here: http://community.livejournal.com/sasuxnaru/2094711.html#cutid1
He lay there, dizzy with overbearing exhaustion and frustration. Sasuke was fumbling with something in the kitchen, but he couldn’t tell what. Opening drawers, opening cabinets, opening something that made hinges squeak. He allowed himself to slump down further, his white undershirt riding up slightly. His pants buckle felt too loose, like he’d lost twenty pounds since that morning, and his toes felt sweaty in their shoes.
A pair of bare feet came into view. He trailed his eyes up to see an equally bare chest. Sasuke was, if possible, even skinner than he’d looked before. His chest was broad, but feeble looking. His hips were narrow, his waist slim, and pale skin still undaunted by black wiry hairs. The naked shoulders, bony and white, met with a neck, and atop that a highly-strung head with a smug-looking expression on its face.
He approached slowly. It was then that Naruto saw what was in his hands. One was odd; a bottle of what looked like extra virgin olive oil, golden in its intricate glass bottle. The other was terrifying; a gleaming, sharp steak knife, hardly the length of his hand but with enough point to make up for its diminutive size.
That’s it, Naruto thought. That’s it. He’s fucking insane.
When the blond told him so, loudly and angrily, Sasuke just sunk to his knees before him, one leg between Naruto’s spread ones. He placed the mysterious bottle to the side, and to Naruto’s dread kept the knife.
“You crazy bastard,” Naruto whispered. His throat hurt too much to keep on yelling. “The fuck do you think you’re doing? This is illegal, you motherfucking dip shit, illegal/ They’re going to rag your pasty little ass behind bars and I’m going to laugh you sick fuck and---”
“It fine to talk,” Sasuke interceded gently, not an ounce of hurt appearing in his fierce eyes. “Words,” he scoffed. “They all you have, now.” Then he raised the knife to level with wide blue eyes, keeping it there for a long moment for affect, before gently tapping it against an unblemished cheek. Naruto flinched. He dragged it down lightly, with just enough pressure to pose as a threat, but not enough to leave a mark. The blond held deathly still. He slowly slid it down Naruto’s threat, and the small boy held his breath until it had cleared his collar. He felt the cold top of it slip over his shoulder until it was removed. The Uchiha’s hand lifted to grab hold of one of his wife beater’s straps, slid the knife under it, and jerked it upwards, splitting the fabric cleanly in two.
Naruto watched helplessly as Sasuke repeated the motion with the other sleeve, and then brought the knife point back to the center of his chest. Sasuke lifted the shirt slightly to slice a neat notch in it before putting the knife aside. He grabbed a side of shirt in each hand and in one deft motion, ripped the shirt clear off him.
Naruto was too busy watching the knife to pay attention to Sasuke’s face. As soon as he’d placed the weapon aside, beside the bottle of oil, the other hand was grasping his face again, fingers digging into his cheeks and finding the spots along the jaw that had already been worked into painful tenderness. Naruto cried out quietly before warm lips smothered his again.
It was more of a kiss this time than an assault. Sasuke took time to alternately press his lips against Naruto’s slightly open ones, to lightly flick his tongue out to taste him. He smoothly ran his mouth over his captives, shifting his body to a better angle. He spread his legs so as to straddle Naruto instead of sitting between his thighs. He gripped Naruto’s hip, thumb hooking through the belt loop and tugging him down until he lay flat on his back. Sasuke followed, never detaching his lips from Naruto’s, continuing to let his tongue grow bolder until the kiss grew just as vicious as before.
Their teeth clacked clumsily together as Sasuke attempted to get in further, thrusting his tongue in and out of Naruto’s mouth as if he owned it, pressing their chests closer together. Naruto found it increasingly difficult to breath, struggling to draw air heavily through his nose. He heard the raven do the same, and wondered why he didn’t stop to at least draw breath. It was like he was demented, drugged, addicted.
When Sasuke did draw away, he did so reluctantly. He feebly bit down on Naruto’s lower lip before he looked him in the eye.
Naruto waited a moment to recapture his breath before spitting in his face.
Sasuke took the time to wipe it off with his thumb before backhanding him with just as much force as the punch to the gut earlier. When the raven leaned back down for another stolen kiss, he rearranged his body to fit it better along Naruto’s. When he drew his tongue back out to play, he took the chance to grind his hips down hard. Even with his mouth covered, Naruto’s yelp was loud in the silently dimming room. Sasuke repeated the motion, drawing his hips up before diving them back down, rubbing his erection three inches upwards over Naruto’s limp one. He snuck one arm around the blond’s waist, using his forearm to dig into the small of his back, drawing Naruto’s hips up in time with his thrusts, forcing their pelvis’s to grind together.
As the moments drew on, the kiss grew sloppier, and Sasuke’s movements become more sporadic. He went from slow, long, powerful grinds to quick and pitiless ones, shaking them both, causing Naruto to cry out. Air became hard to find and at some point they broke apart. Sasuke instantly latched his mouth onto Naruto’s neck, biting and lapping at the flesh until dark red and purple marks bruised the tan skin. He sucked at small patches behind his ears before quickly running his tongue across Naruto’s chin, then down to the hollow at the base of his throat, all the while creating unrelated rhythms that the blond, against his better judgment, found himself starting to react to. The unrelenting friction combined with the utter helplessness of the situation--I can’t do anything, so just for five seconds, if I sat still, I can’t do anything anyway so what’s the point--intensified the cravings, and he could feel himself beginning to harden against the Uchiha. He grunted and turned his face away, staring at the wall that slid in and out of focus. Their chests, slick with sweat, slid together, making wet noises to match that of Sasuke’s tongue as it circled his throat.
The raven must have noticed the blond‘s sudden cooperation, or at least his dying struggles, for he started to bite harder and move faster, with more deliberation than before. And Naruto felt himself begin to move back. Slowly, at first, just tightening his leg muscles--what can I do anyway so just for a minute--until it escalated into him lifting himself off the ground, angling his arousal to match the with the one above him, reveling the noises it coaxed out of the silent boy. It felt good, with his body it felt good, with mid mind it felt wrongwrongwrong but that tightening in his stomach would not go away so what would it matter if--just for a minute--if--because I can’t do anything anyway--he started moving back?
It could not have lasted more than three minutes, but it seemed to stretch much longer than that. Moans and grunts filled the room along with the harsh sounds of denim and corduroy sliding again each other. The wet sucking noises Sasuke made as he continued to recklessly neck his unwilling partner died down as he lost concentration, too focused on the now-hard penis rubbing against his. They found their own rhythm to follow, long languid stroked of hips against hips, two pale hands groping Naruto’s behind and two tired legs fighting to lift himself off the floor. The blond’s shoulder blades and arms burned, but he could hardly feel them anymore. The tightening in his stomach was growing hotter, hotter, and the mantra that he’d been keeping in his head that it was only this once, that it meant nothing, spiraled away with the diminishing light.
He found his peak before Sasuke, crashing himself upwards one last time before collapsing. Liquid warmth soiled his pants, causing the material to stick uncomfortably. His eyes tightened shut as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm and waited for Sasuke to still above him. The boy continued to move as if possessed for ten more grueling seconds, in which the horrifying realization of what he’d just participated in came crawling back, bruising both their bodies, before he grunted and smashed himself downwards, suffocating Naruto with his weight. His fingers dug into sharp hipbones and he gave small, pointless thrusts as he enjoyed the white hot sensation of it.
White hot.
It wasn’t white. It wasn’t blinding. His orgasm didn’t bring the that bright light his previous attempts at masturbation had brought him. This one was shared, and demented somehow. Tainted, dirty with sin, but intoxicatingly pleasurable. It was almost… the color blinding his sight, the color he saw when he closed his eyes was…
Sasuke shifted above him. The semen was beginning to dry, and when Naruto moved he felt his boxers stick to his thighs. His arms felt bruised and stretched, and his shoulders were sore with rug burn. He knew that by now his neck must look like a plum and the bastard was gonna pay for it, this had to be all sorts of illegal, this was disgusting and disturbing and had felt too good for it to have been right.
Sasuke was sitting back down, sitting on his haunches to survey the damage below him. With one hand he absently ran his palm over Naruto’s stomach, not yet completely flat, still shiny with perspiration.
“You really should lose this weight,” he murmured. “You still are a child, aren’t you?”
“’m fourteen,” Naruto ground out, too tired to reply with a proper comeback. “That’s not a child.”
“Close enough.” Sasuke seemed to pause. “I’m sixteen.”
Naruto just glared up at him, unfazed by this new piece of information. It wasn’t that much of a shock; they guy looked way too old to be stuck with their class, anyway.
“I was held back few years when I came to America,” Sasuke informed him.
“I have bad breath in the morning,” Naruto replied sarcastically, “since it’s apparently show and tell time.”
Sasuke ignored the snipe. “Don’t you want know why I came here?”
Yes. “No.” Naruto shifted, trying to find a place to rest against where his arms wouldn’t hurt. “I want to know when you go back.”
“I’m not,” Sasuke said coolly. “This was temporary home.”
“Do I care?”
“Do you?”
“No.” Naruto sighed, ignoring the slightly pained look on his rival’s face. “Look, I won’t tell anyone what you did today, okay? We can just let it drop and forget about it. You can go off to some fancy city that’ll tend to every one of your pissy gay needs and I’ll rot away here in peace. Deal?”
Sasuke seemed to be ignoring him, now tracing the edge of Naruto’s pants, dipping his pinky in to touch the beginnings of course blond hair.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Sasuke admitted slowly, as if Naruto had asked. He pressed his other hand to the boy’s chest when he began to prop himself on his elbows, gently pushing him back down. “I always wanted my first time to be with you,” he continued, as if nothing had happened. “It’s shitty… cliché… but true.”
“Yeah, well, you want too much.”
Naruto had to had bipolarity to the growing list of trends he’d picked up in Sasuke’s warped personality. His hands went from gentle, soothing motions to gripping tightly at one bruised hip and the conjunction between his neck and shoulder.
“You think you are free of that accusation, you do?” Sasuke murmured, eyes like black ice. “’Stop Sasuke,’ ‘Get off Sasuke,’ ‘Let me go Sasuke,’” he whispered, “and then you arch up like this.” He pushed Naruto’s waist up with the hand still encircling his hip. “You want too much. You expect patience while you make up your mind. You expect everything you want from me while I receive nothing.”
“There’s nothing to make my mind up about!” Naruto cut in, alarmed. “I told you I didn’t want it and you didn’t lis--”
“Then what is this?”
“Wha--ngggh!”
Sasuke had cupped him firmly through his pants, palm pressing up roughly, coaxing a long, drawn out groan from his lips. He felt himself twitch beneath Sasuke’s rough hand, and his overwhelmed body simply caved in to the other boy’s wishes. He threw his head back, biting his lips to keep from crying out, twisting his hips this way, for more friction, the other way for less, for escape or for more of that warmth and the taste of ash he’d felt slithering over his skin, that he would still taste on his tongue, that he knew he would taste when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night, that every other mouth would taste bitterly normal, that he’d let trees burn and forests fall to have that scent in his nostrils because it was just so addictive.
Sasuke was talking again. “This is what I mean. Your body, your heart, are completely different. And it isn’t fair to not give me both.” He narrowed his eyes. “It all or nothing, dobe. Which?”
“N---ahh!” He thrashed his head, no longer sure of the answer himself. His mind felt clouded by his recent orgasm, by the building sexual tension, by the desire to feel more, from another boy nonetheless, to get more, to have more, to take whatever Sasuke would let him have, to take more than he could handle.
“Very well.”
It didn’t matter of Naruto had more to say, for in the next moment his speech was cut off. A rough black cloth was suddenly binding his mouth, and the blond faintly recognized it as the wife beater the older boy had been wearing, before it was tied into a secure knot at the back of his head. He felt his lips pull unpleasantly, and a tingling in his stiff jaw, but now that Sasuke was done palming him through his jeans to recollect himself.
Whatever Sasuke thought he’d just gotten permission for, he was very much mistaken. He swung his foot up and jerked it forward, into the other boys chest. He heard a slight wheeze as the wind was knocking from the raven’s lungs, but he lurched back only an inch or two before capturing the blond’s ankle and pushing it forward. Naruto felt his knee lock as he struggled not to be pushed all the way back. The position was too awkward for him to struggle back and he bit at the gag binding his mouth in frustration. His eyes felt hot and watery, his throat like stretched rubber. A gurgling erupted from his mouth and game out as a muffled, undignified whimper. He shifted on his painful arms, but the position he was forced into left one knee almost to his chest and the other hooked around Sasuke’s hip, held there by another hand. He glared the best he could, and slowly, that hand began to move.
It cupped his knees, thumb running circles over it, before it slid along the outside of his thigh, pausing every now and then to squeeze flesh. When the tips of his fingers grazed over Naruto’s backside, the blond finally jerked to life.
“Please!” he tried to shout through the cloth, but it came out as a low-sounding, “Aaaiee!” The sound was so feeble he doubted Sasuke had heard it. Even if the older teen did, however, he made no move to stop his ministrations. He moved his full palm to cup Naruto through his pants, gripping and releasing, rubbing and gripping before he began to dig his fingers into the crack he knew was there, pressing hard into the sensitive flesh with greedy fingers. All the while he stared into wide cerulean eyes with his lusting ones, watching as they finally began to brim over, searching for any sigh of enjoyment, any trace of acceptance. All he found was fear.
Because Naruto was finally starting to feel it. The realization of hopelessness, and the fact that right now, Sasuke could, and would, do whatever he wanted with him. For once, the blond wouldn’t get a say.
It was frightening, bone-chilling and frustrating. He had that familiar sensation when he was in a nightmare, where no matter the circumstance it felt like he was being torn from his life. Torn from his dreams and aspirations, from Iruka, from his family, that everything would change and he’d never see any of it again. The feeling where he knew it was a dream, but couldn’t find it in himself to find a way out.
Now was no different.
His vision was badly blurred and his lips trembled with the effort to keep from sobbing. He couldn’t stop the tears now, and the dripped freely down his cheeks. Sasuke didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed delighted to an extent. With a small smile on his lips, he drew his hand up to cup Naruto’s cheek.
“It’s all right to cry,” Sasuke assured him. “It is greatest honor to have someone cry for you.”
I’m not crying for you! Naruto thought frantically. I‘m crying because of you, you idiot! You’re scaring me! You got what you wanted, I’m terrified! You scare me shitless! You’re done, I’m scared enough!
I’m terrified.
Once Sasuke had finished with the button and zipper, he began to shimmy the articles of clothing down the boys hips. He pulled them so that Naruto’s bare ass finally touched the scratchy carpet, and then released his leg in order to pull them off of his legs. The blond saw a small window of opportunity when both his legs were lifted up, his back now forced flat on the ground, and as Sasuke leaned back to lean on his knees.
Schlip
The pants and blue plaid boxers hardly made a sound as they were lightly thrown to the ground. Naruto took his chance at Sasuke’s pause, when the raven lowered his eyes to stare at the blond’s lower half, to drop his heels down blindly. The angle he was in made it hard to see, and he was hoping for a good kick to the head, but he felt satisfied when both feet made some sort of mark. One felt like it landed on his shoulder, the other skimmed skin before it hit his collarbone.
Sasuke grunted in pain, leaning back once more, but only for an instant. Just as Naruto’s feet flew forward once more to kick at his chest, using momentum gained by shoving his arms against the ground, the larger boy leaned forward and flung his arms out knocking Naruto’s legs apart. Cool hands skimmed his shins before two vices ensnared his ankles.
The blond watched, horrified, as the pained look on Sasuke’s face gave way to a superior smirk, as if amused by his captive’s efforts. Then he pulled at Naruto’s right ankle, swinging his legs up and to the other, pulling and pulling, the angle causing Natuo to feel that if he pulled one more inch his legs would snap. He cried out and struggled, lifting his torso to twist in the direction of his injured leg, anything to alleviate the brutal force.
The tight grips on his ankle were gone now, replaced not a second later by hands pushing his hip until he lay face-down against the ground. Naruto blinked, inhaling sharply in surprise, breathing in the musty smell of the carpet. It smelled like dust, like it had never been vacuumed.
He stiffened as a naked chest pressed down into his back, pressing painfully against his bound arms. He muttered something in his ears before saying, in English, “Fool. Just give up.” A shifting, and suddenly Sasuke’s lower half was gone. Sasuke put all his weight on his chest and Naruto heard the distinct sound of a zipper being drawn down, then the whisper of cloth on metal as he presumably unbuttoned his shorts.
While Sasuke fumbled behind him, a new thought entered Naruto’s already wired mind. Just what was it that Sasuke was planning on doing? He wasn’t a girl, so--that--was out of the question. The worst of it had to be over, and Naruto tried to draw some relief from that. He forced his struggles to quiet, to willingly let Sasuke jerk off behind him if he wanted to. The worst of it was over.
But why am I scared?
Why am I still so damn scared of him.
“It could have been nice,” Sasuke was mumbling behind him. There was shuffling, and then the sound of clothing being kicked out from behind him. Two seconds later, Sasuke was gingerly replacing cold space with his own warm body, pressing Naruto into the ground, and the blond could feel it. Sasuke’s own arousal was hot and hard between his butt cheeks, and it pulsed as the raven slid it down and between his thighs to nudge at the smaller boy’s manhood. The raven braced himself on his left forearm and then reached over to grab for the intricate bottle of extra virgin olive oil with his free hand. Naruto thought it must have been an expensive brand. It was like liquid gold in a bottle.
Oil, Naruto thought. The fuck is he doing with that, anyway?
Sasuke had lifted himself off of Naruto one more time, and the blond lost contact. He bit at the gag nervously, trying to be still as possible. There was the sound of a cap being twisted from the bottle, and then air bubbles floating and popping as the bottle was overturned. But Naruto couldn’t feel a single drop. He waited with baited breath, sickeningly curious as to what the older boy was doing.
Shlick
Naruto could hazard a guess as to what it was Sasuke was rubbing the oil over, but the why left a huge, blank spot in his mind, and weighed heavily in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t aware of what homosexuals liked to do in their free time, but he knew it was nothing like what a girl and a guy could do. There were definitely a few missing essentials. So if it wasn’t sex, what was it that Sasuke was trying to do? He felt like he was tied to a train track and was waiting for the whistle of the train in the distance. He was waiting for the collision, for some sort of pain.
The bottle, sans cap, was placed an arm’s distance away, and two hands, one dry and pleasantly warm and the other cold and greasy, were gripping his hips and pulling him up. Naruto grunted as he was forced up and to his knees, face flushing as his bare behind was exposed to the chilling room air. Sasuke pried his thighs apart, shifting his legs so that they were widespread to the ground, and a violent complaint was muffled and went unheard.
“Could have been,” Sasuke was murmuring, and fear spiked through the fourteen-year-old once more, escalating to a nauseating level. The other’s blunt arousal was pressing against an oddly sensitive spot now, and shock crippled him to compliance.
“Perhaps next time,” Sasuke murmured. “For now… this might sting.”
For the first five gruesomely long seconds of it, Naruto was deathly silent. The shock of it, the unease it brought, and the gut-wrenching pain that started at his anus and spread like wildfire through every artery and capillary that wired his body, was too much to take in at once. Sasuke was silent too. Quiet, as if he’d forgotten something and just then realized it. Poised as he was, pushed in so that the tip of his cock and an inch or so more was nestled within the ring of tight muscle, he figured it too late. Naruto felt the way Sasuke’s hands were suddenly gripping his hips in an impossibly tight manner, as if he’d refurbished his resolve. And then Sasuke grunted and began to push forward.
Then Naruto screamed.
Things don’t go in there! he was trying to shout between cries. That doesn’t fit, get it out! Get it the fuck out it hurts it hurts it hurts!
Sasuke moaned, panting in satisfaction as he slid in further, feeling tight muscles clench around the thick width of his penis, the oil providing a natural-like lubricant, letting him ease in further. He ignored Naruto’s muffled protests, bending over the blond and biting his lips as he thrust further in, wanting to, needing to, force the last of himself into the warmth, wanting more and more and more…
“Mmgh! MHH!“ Naruto began to thrash beneath him, but his thighs were too shaky to allow a proper struggler. It felt like an iron pole had been shoved right through him, and he could feel himself tearing in two. His insides had turned inside-out, and what was once a tearing pain was soon twisting itself into a tidal wave of agony. As Sasuke pushed inch after inch in, he screamed as warmth began to trickle down his legs. Blood. He knew it had to be.
You tore something! he shouted internally. Bastard, stop, something’s wrong!
Sasuke wasn’t stopping. Naruto, on some level, realized he couldn’t even if he wanted to. But that didn’t stop it from hurting.
Sasuke began to pull out, slowly, enjoying the suction it brought and breathing heavily, basking in the long, drawn-out cry from beneath him before thrusting back in, not stopping until he felt his scrotum lightly tap against Naruto’s, and then grinding down, attempting to gain even more depth. The blond’s blood-curdling screams had given away to short shouts, broken up by sobs that shook his torso like the tremors after an earthquake. Sasuke used the tops of his feet to push forward while simultaneously dragging his captive’s hips back, meeting him halfway. He took a breath while drawing out, and exhaled after pushing in, face scrunching in pleasure. Warmth. Undeniable, quenching heat, tightly engulfing him, bidding him to come back inside.
Naruto, meanwhile, felt that he couldn’t breath. His nose was beginning to clog and the gag made it difficult to breath through his mouth. His face and chest rubbed unpleasantly against the rough carpet, heat a sure sign of carpet burn later. But even that couldn’t compare to the overwhelming pain ripping through his backside, doubling with each thrust into his body. Naruto attempted to ignore the other’s boy’s movements altogether, to forget about how odd it felt to have it inside his body, twitching and pushing, but all his mind came up with was the brutal pounding into his tight entrance and the animalistic growls coming from behind him, and the was Sasuke was beating and scaring the air right out of his lungs. He tried to count, but he knew he must have gotten the timing wrong because there was no way seconds could stretch as long as they did. He tried to simply concentrate on breathing, but the simple mantra of in, out because twisted and dirty before it had properly developed in his head.
In, out, in, out, shlup, shlup, breath in, slide out, breath out, slide in
Giving up, Naruto just took it. He lay his cheek down on the carpet, even as the carpet grazed uncomfortably on his cheek (why does it matter, just a little pain, everything hurts now, everything that exists and everything that doesn’t it all just hurts) and felt his head rap against the side of the counter with every thrust into his tired body. He listened to the wet sounds their conjoined bodies made, and the unintelligible Japanese phrases slipping from the raven’s lips like poison.
From behind him, Sasuke began to speed up, feeling that tightening in his gut signaling his oncoming release. His thrust grew less predictable, and he pistoned in and out of the younger boy in a reckless and dangerous manner. Every now and then he’d slip out and a miscalculated move would cause his penis to ride through Naruto’s thighs, or trail against the crack of his backside. Each time the raven would harshly bite into the blonds neck or shoulders in punishment, as if it had been his fault. Each time there would be a heart-stopping, beautiful reprieve of the pain before Sasuke positioned himself against the bleeding entrance and stuffed himself inside again. Naruto had stopped moving and all he had now was that feeling, that incredibly feeling. The feeling of sexual pleasure, the feeling of power, power over another human being who had walked in with a high head and now lay face-down on his floor while he fucked him. He stopped pulling out so far and made short, shallow thrusts, vibrating the body below him. His hips were aching but he wasn’t at all tired. He was so close, closer to the edge than any act of masturbation had brought him. Hot, swollen walls surrounding him, making it so easy to slide right up and in over and over.
He moved faster, a long, guttural moan rolling off his tongues as well as several foreign curses. Naruto’s fists clenching in their bindings and he tore at the cloth in his mouth with his teeth. The blond could feel a hard, sweat-soaked stomach smooth over the curls of his fingers, and just the simple soothing motion added to a long list of things slowly teasing him over the cliff and into insanity. To take one step and let gravity drag him down further than ever before, further than Sasuke could ever drag him. Where nothing would matter, everything would become meaningless. Even this.
Stop, his thoughts still murmured with a mere fraction of the strength they’d once had. Even if just for five seconds. Stop for five seconds and I’ll be okay, and you can do whatever you want with me. Just stop for five seconds…
But five seconds went by, and Sasuke continued to move. In retrospect, it didn’t last long, perhaps two minutes. To Naruto, it felt like his whole life was dwindling by as he waited for Sasuke to finish. Waiting for the unbearable pressure and strain to go away and never come back.
Just when the pain had faded away, just as all Sasuke’s cock felt like was a blunt instrument and not a solid piece of molten steel, just as the blood stopped flowing so rapidly, Sasuke jerked oddly inside of him. The older teen curled over Naruto’s back as he gave one final thrust, biting into the side of Naruto’s neck hard as he swallowed a scream. His hips gave little jerking motions and Naruto felt something disgustingly warm flow inside of him, and then outside, staining the insides of his thighs.
Sasuke sighed heavily, his hips slowing shifting, and then he fell quiet and still, collapsing on top of Naruto. Their twin sets of heavy breathing were uneven and loud, now the only sound in the room. The sun had finally set, and the walls were masked with dirty orange. The windows were open, and a chill racked Naruto’s body. But he kept on trembling, and could no longer blame it on the cold.
With a grunt, and a soft, hushed cry on Naruto’s part, the boy slid from him with an embarrassingly loud wet sound. There was a pause, as if Sasuke were uncertain of what to do with himself, before he collapsed to Naruto’s right side. The blond’s head had been laying to angle towards his left, and with the way his neck ached, he knew it would be only beneficial for it to move a bit. But it was too painful now.
And he knew, just knew, if he saw any trace of bliss, any pleasant expression, on Sasuke’s face, he would break.
The raven was untying his hands now, with what felt like only one hand. Their frantic movements from before has lessened his restraints, and Naruto probably could have released himself without too much effort if he wanted. For now, he was content to let the other boy do it. When his arms slid to the ground, he wondered f they’d roll right off; white hot pins and needles digging and scraping his joints. They were too giant, long bruises, held on by ligaments that felt like they housed hot magma. It was altogether too painful, altogether soul crushing.
Then Sasuke undid the gag. At first it choked him further as he pulled, but then it slumped like a dead snake to the floor, stretched and damp. It was Sasuke’s shirt, Naruto realized, before he took a deep gasp of air like he’d been denied it for days. At first he choked, like he swallowed too big a lump of food or a drink had gone down the wrong pipe, and the exhale was shaky. His next breath he choked on as well, several times, and it came out in a low, whistling gasp. He choked and gagged on the air like it was toxic, and his lungs felt swollen, deprived of oxygen, he’d run a million mile race and a bag had been tied over his face and he couldn’t get enough air.
Naruto didn’t realize the choking on air was actually a series of wrenching sobs until he felt a warm, rough hand begin to trace soft circles over his shoulder blades. That made him cry harder. He tried to move away, to shrivel away, but the mere motion sent bolts of pain racing up his spine like lightning, causing his whole body to burn. He felt broken already, physically broken, he could smell the blood and feel it drying on his thighs with Sasuke’s semen. That blood came from somewhere, and he knew it wasn’t from the older boy.
But when Sasuke shifted to wrap an arm around his waist, and a body spooned him from behind, he felt entrenched in ice despite the rigid warmth, the hot and sticky remains of sweat and blood. There was truly no air now and he cried harder than he’d ever cried in his life. It was like being born again, from something pure to some worthless, broken, filthy possession. Some dirty, tainted, disgusting vermin and what he wouldn’t give to die.
The crying, the countless tears running down his sweaty cheeks, and the way his body shook didn’t make him feel less a boy, less a man. No, he’d gone far beyond that. Sasuke’s stripped him of everything now, including his humanity.
He didn’t feel human anymore.
He didn’t speak until he managed to finally calm himself down, and that in itself took longer than the actual act. Sasuke waited with baited patience, every now and then run a hand over his hip or his chest, or run fingers through his knotted hair. He felt lips latch onto the skin at the back of his neck, on his shoulders, the shell of his ear, the curve of his jaw. Half of him found it natural, the gentle caresses smoothing out the broken pieces of him after such a harsh and violent act. It was the smooth sandpaper after the iron file had shaved him down to his core, a cooling salve placed around his pounding heart. The other half, he figured, anyone would have felt.
Every pore was bleeding. Every breath brought him closer and closer to vomiting, adding to the mess on his skin already. That half was crying and crying, getting louder and louder with each past second. It was like the rape was the eye of the storm. Once it had blown over, now Naruto had was himself to face. And what a self it was.
Bleeding.
He’d never felt this way before, and knew he never would. How could a life ever grow this dark? How could he ever get clean? Would his and Sasuke’s essence ever wash out of his skin? Would that soul-eating pain working its way from the bottom up ever ease up? Would his eyes ever stop burning, would his throat ever stop turning itself out as he choked down waves of nausea? Would the bruises fade, or would they remain yellow smears on his skin forever? Would he ever be able to shower, to bathe, without resisting the urge to scratch off every follicle of skin? Would he ever be able to kiss someone without wondering when the fire would turn saliva to grisly ash?
And would those dark eyes ever fade from his memory?
He’d stopped crying now and lay quite still. So did Sasuke. So quiet, so still, suspended in time as they were the blond had to wonder when it was that he’d fallen asleep. Or, more correctly, he began to doze. His eyelids fluttered like shutters in the midst of a heavy storm, and his heart went from too fast to too slow. He wasn’t aware of whether his breathing was louder than the others or now, but it didn’t feel right. Like this was another world his lungs had yet to adapt to the air of. There was a distinct barrier, now, between him and the rest of the world he’d left barely an hour before. Already he felt different.
He wasn’t human.
Sasuke was murmuring something again, he realized belatedly. He thought of turning his head a bit to hear better, but decided that it was too much effort. He wondered if Sasuke had changed, too. If he would look at his reflection into those eyes like black ice and see something different than the image that had stared at him in the mirror that morning. His insides had rearranged, and his heart had, metaphorically, stopped beating. It had yet to restart.
And he didn’t want to see Sasuke. Not now, not ever. He wanted to turn around and see thin air. He wanted to wait a few minutes before dragging on his clothes to stumble out the door and act like the luckiest survivor of an act of gang violence. Although he might have fared better with a gang. The gang could only rearrange his face, not his whole existence, like one sixteen-year-old with only a loose grasp on the English language could.
“Naruto,” Sasuke was saying, his tongue slipping the ‘r‘ into an ‘l‘. “Naruto. Naruto…? Naruto!”
Stop. Stop saying my name.
“Are you listening me?:
I wish I were able not to. What did he want? What more could he want?
How much more can you break me before you’re satisfied?
“Are you all right?”
He’d never felt less all right in his entire life.
Sasuke was shifting again, and hands returned to his body. He was too exhausted to suppress the flinch that shook his whole body. The dark-haired youth didn’t seem to mind. Grasping one shoulder and one hip, he drew Naruto to lay on the side, where he paused at the sharp gasp of pain. Naruto gritted his teeth, and felt his cheeks burn scarlet when fluids seeped between his thighs and dripped to the floor. Then he was gently coaxed to lay on his back where he lay panting, eyes squinting but no longer closed. Sasuke was one of the last things he needed to see, but even worse than that was the dark. He didn’t want to be closed in by darkness now, not when he was surrounded by so many blind spots, as vulnerable to attack as he was right now.
He saw the older boy’s outline first, a halo of glowing light separating him from the rest of the world, the rest of this frightening world Naruto had stumbled into by accident. Then he saw those eyes, thick ribbons of concern reeling in them like an old film strip and contradicting everything he’d done up until this point. And although he couldn’t see his reflection in those eyes, he did see the way Sasuke looked at him. It was like he was a toy; a toy he’d just purchased, only to break it after the first afternoon of play, and was now determined to fix it before his parents came home to find it broken n pieces upon their floor.
“Do-I-,” some muttered Japanese, “I didn’t meant--I didn’t want--to-- that to you…” He stuttered and stumbled, forgetting his lines, seemingly trying to convey with his eyes what his mouth had obvious problems with. “I… don’t know what was over me….”
Naruto couldn’t say anything, or move his mouth into a frown or a grimace. He doubted if he could even cry anymore. His tear ducts must have been dry and barren by now, all their hard labor drying in salty tracks across his face. He couldn’t help but think, in his numb state, where his voice had gone to. He longed to rip into the boy above him with every single insult in his living memory, and then some. He wanted to ask, to demand, how Sasuke could thing an “I didn’t mean to” could solve a single thing.
Sasuke’s thumb stroked over the edge of his eye, and then ran through his hair tenderly. His face begin to waver less, and he could see a fierce look in those eyes. Naruto could recognize anger in the blink of an eye, but found himself dumbfounded under that stare, unable to identify even a single emotion that was reigning through his companion, that made him look like he had a dozen swords stuck in his back and digging deeper every second.
“Do… you need anything?” he was asking softly. “I--” He faltered, leaning back, then leaned forward, and then back an inch or two. His pale, bony shoulders still shimmered with sweat. “I’ll go get you something… Do you need lie down? You can go my bed, or--or--you can lea--” the last word stuck in his mouth and went unfinished. “How about a drink? I can get you a drink, if you wish.”
The ‘r’ sound was slurred and sounded more like “dlink”. Sasuke would get him a drink and then he’d corner him and tear him in half because there was something in the drink, something in the air, than was reminiscent of poison but thousands of times more lethal. It was utter power versus cowering weakness, it was smug superiority versus strong inferiority, it was the dark versus the light and he’d had to concede that the dark could exist with no light while feet were forever implanted in shadow. It was good versus evil where both sides were playing the other up to be the villain. Naruto had made a mistake. He shouldn’t have left his bed, he shouldn’t have agreed to do the errand, he shouldn’t have accepted that drink that made one thing lead to another after another after another until all those anothers had him dying and bleeding on a floor that wasn‘t his.
Die, die, die, let him die, don‘t let him die, he‘s only human, he isn‘t human, he can‘t be human now, but then what does that make me, both of us monsters, death is such an ugly word, even for beasts like us, but stillstillstill, I don’t want to see his face anymore!
“GET AWAY FROM ME!”
He’d found his voice. It was like the long half hour in which he’d been gagged had been a mere few seconds, and that he was starting off from where he was so rudely interrupted. Now he could shout, scream, tear at him and tear him up until he could feel even a fraction of the pain Naruto felt.
Sasuke vaulted back onto his ankles when Naruto towered over him, those two inches of added height making all the difference. Then a half uttered cry as the blond was immobilized by a brief flash of fire burning up his spine, and then they were at eye level. Naruto’s eyes darted down and he saw a smear of blood on the older boy’s pelvis before he forced his eyes back up. He couldn’t look at it, he wouldn’t.
“Get away!” he tried shouting again when Sasuke didn’t budge any further. “Go--get out of here!”
“I can’t,” Sasuke whispered, vague shock marring his white face. “This mine apartment…”
Naruto gritted his teeth, blue eyes flashing brightly, feeling so hot he wondered if even his pupils had turned red. “Fine!” he snapped. “Fine!” He leaned forward, now expecting the sharp pain and ignoring it. “I’ll leave, then!”
But before he could get much farther, Sasuke had grabbed him by the forearm and was forcing him back down. “Wait!” he urged. “Please, just wait! You’re hurt. Lay there while, let me get you ice or--or something, but please, just wait!”
“No! Let me GO!” He thrashed, and fingers gripped icily into the already bruised flesh of his wrists.
“Just let me explain, then! You can… you can go, all right? Let me explain first, then you go.”
“No! No, no, NO! I’m not listening to ANYTHING you have to fucking SAY! I’m leaving and I’m getting your ass hauled into fuckin’ prison! You… you forced me and I don’t know about that harebrain place you grew up in but over here it’s ILLEGAL!”
Sasuke’s face was quickly falling with every word, but now it brought itself back up into a twisted sneer. Like the flip of a coin, Sasuke had done a one-eighty. Naruto knew, in that moment, that Sasuke had not had a single intention on letting him go. That if he’d stayed, like the raven had asked, he wouldn’t have been able to leave later. It would have boiled down to this, all to this, and it was better to skip the formalities and dive straight into the point.
“Like you go to anyone,” Sasuke snorted. Naruto gasped as he was forced back down, and winced when his knees buckled unpleasantly beneath him. Both of his wrists were caught now and despite his frantic pushes, they were forced to the floor on either side of his head. “What are you, Uzumaki? A girl? Run and scream rape to authorities, hoping some will protect you? I may not know you as well as I thought I did, but I know you well enough. I know you not enough of a cowardice to run screaming and crying. Although…” Smirking, Sasuke, drew both hands up until he could grasp them single-handedly, and used his free hand to lightly slap Naruto’s cheek twice. “Looks like you already cried yourself out.”
“Shut up!” Naruto hissed, his cheeks stinging with the sudden blush that ran from his hair line to his ears. “Just--”
“Eh, what’s wrong?” Sasuke asked, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Going to cry more on me?”
“Shut up, shut the fuck up! Get off of me, now! I said get--”
“It hurt, then, didn’t it?” Sasuke asked, and before Naruto could mull over the statement for more than a split second the raven ground his hips down, and the blond could feel his penis against his thigh, twitching and stiffening against his skin. “It’s a lot bigger than yours, isn’t it?”
“Stop it,” was the embarrassingly low reply he managed. He couldn’t think of anything else right now. It was like he was in the middle of having his whole mindset renovated and they’d only just threw his old personality out. “Stop, please, you’ve done enough….”
Sasuke continued to move, and then there were hands, hands everywhere. They crawled up his sides before running over his chest. Two sets of forefinger and thumb found dusty nipples and pinched, twisting until Naruto was forced to cry out.
“I’m sorry,” Sasuke was saying, pausing his rocking hips to shift down, letting his mouth draw wet, slick lines from his neck to his heart. “I didn’t mean those things.” Sharp teeth stopped to nick at his left nipple, and the blond whimpered when a rough, wet tongue lapped at the pebbled skin while the calloused pad of his thumb smoothed and flicked the other one, the other fingers gently running nails continuously over tan skin.
At a loss of what to do, how to struggle, Naruto gripped at the broad shoulders, pushing gently, but not making a sound. Sasuke simply captured the hands again and then moved them to his head, forcing smallish fingers to bury themselves in ebony hair. Sasuke’s mouth detached from his skin to whisper, “That felt so nice, earlier. When you ran through my hair.” He laid a gentle kiss to the skin he’d just ravished. “My mother did that, when I was young.” Eyes as dark as his hair shut gently and a small smile cracked through. “Feels so nice.”
Naruto kept his grip on Sasuke’s hair tight, the hold he has on his head undoubtedly painful, but Sasuke didn’t protest. Instead he licked down his chest, sucking on the skin just below his rib cage, every now and then sucking tiny bits of flesh into his mouth and biting, leaving angry little red marks like polka dots. He swirled and dipped his tongue into his belly button, gnawing at the ring of flesh before mouthing soothing lips over it. Plunging down further, further, every now and then to whisper sweet words to his captive, promises of pleasure, apologies for the pain, for not paying attention to Naruto’s needs on a quest to fulfill his own. Promises and lies, promises and lies… Naruto hung his head back when Sasuke quickly tailed a line of fire back up his chest and to the crook of his neck, pausing briefly to delve into his collarbone with a hot tongue, and then biting, hard, at the muscle that ran up to meet his ear. Naruto’s eyes twitched and squinted for an insignificant fraction of time before staring dully at the ceiling. Pale, cool hands worshipped at his sides, then ran smooth circles over the abdomen, like they’d never touched skin before, that they’d never met a human body before, and that each inch was to be memorized and committed to memory. Absent-mindedly, his numb fingers ran through hair like black spider web, soft and sticking, so beautiful to look at and so deadly to fall into. Sasuke purred his approval, licking the bright red skin he’d bitten into so harshly. Naruto noted that he’d seen this hair somewhere before, the strong sense of déjà vu momentarily over-riding every other sense, and he could have been lying on his bed at this very moment, it would feel the same. He couldn’t remember where. But the touch of it, the smell like ash, and perhaps a bit of the cinnamon Naruto always smelled from his teacher’s mints, reminded him of something that he could not remember.
The carpet beneath his body had gone wet, soggy, and Naruto thought he was truly drowning. Some feared that being buried alive was the worst death one could ever be faced with. Some feared fire, others of dying alone. Naruto feared drowning. To have the frustration of seeing the surface, his salvation, hang unmoving and so real above his head and to be trapped by something as weak, as intangible as water. To sink and to never resurface.
He was too afraid, he realized, and that there was a cliff he’d fallen off some time ago he couldn’t climb his way up from. He was too scared, too petrified stiff to so much as move, to scream, to protest, to push. He wanted sleep, yes. Now a darkness would be a blessing, a gift he’d never asked for but was so pleasantly surprised to find. He wanted to sleep, to let his mind repair itself, to fall into bed, alone, by himself with no watchful eyes, and to sleep until all the bad things were gone. To have a dreamless slumber, to sleep, sleep, sleep it all away. The air was a dark burgundy, like dried blood, night time so close. When it came, he knew, he would sleep. He would sleep until he didn’t know who he was and he’d wake up a new person. Just wait until night. Everything, everything would be all right again.
Sasuke’s foreign cursing brought him back to reality, and he realized that the floor was, indeed, wet. He could feel his hair sticking to his neck and the back of his head, and the smell told him it was the extra virgin olive oil again. For the first time in a long few minutes, he uttered a long, throaty groan. He wondered how his body could react to the meaning behind this, to the fear, when his mind was so far from caring. His heart no longer seemed interested in his well-being.
“Your body, your heart, are completely different. And it isn’t fair to not give me both.”
You can’t have both, the smaller, fiercer part of Naruto’s brain snarled, like a box with its foot caught in a bear trip, you have my body, you son-of-a-bitch. It’s all yours. But you can’t have me. I’m not yours. I’m not yours!
“And it isn’t fair to not give me both.”
You’ll never get my heart.
“It all right,” Sasuke was murmuring half-heartedly, distracted as he fumbled behind Naruto’s head. “I forgot last time. It will make it much easier.” Done with whatever he was doing, Sasuke drew his hand back, and his partner noticed that it was coated in a sheet of thin, clear gold. “You’ll like this,” Sasuke promised. “Much easier. You’ll like this.”
Sasuke head was gone the next instant, drawing back so that he could scoot back further onto his haunches, and then dropped back down to his knees, the long, thing white body bending at the centerfold and exposing his back. The spine created a clear line running from below his shoulder blades and down, vertebrae stretching the pale skin even further than what it already was. But in the natural dark, with the daylight seeping slowly from the sky, he looked natural, like a blank canvas waiting to be painted upon by whatever color the sky wished. Naruto felt sickly, like the reddish-orange glow mixed poorly with his own tan skin.
And then none of it mattered.
“AHH!”
Wet, hot, sucking
Naruto thrashed, but the attempts at freedom were half-hearted, his hands stuck to Sasuke’s scalp as if bonded with super glue. The head bobbed up and below from the horizon of Naruto’s eyesight, sucking with enough fervor that he swore the skin would peel right off. But that hot, slick tongue he’d sworn was disgusting was now laving at him, those sharp incisors were creating spindles of pleasure to spike, and that tight, hot, wet heat.
“Nhh… AH!” He arched his head back, and hardly noticed a pinprick of pain from his anus, playing it off as a result of his movement. In a few seconds, he could hardly feel it, just a numbing ache to go along with the rest of his body’s bruising. But Sasuke was swallowing around him, drawing more of him in, and flicking his tongue at the head of erection and it felt too good to notice anything else. Anything except for more pain, this was sharper, and this one stayed with him. Panting, he tried refocusing on the pleasurable way Sasuke was now using one hand to thumb his scrotum, but found the niggling curiosity took the hold on him.
It wasn’t until Sasuke added the third lubed finger that Naruto realized what they were, and panic started arising despite Sasuke’s excellent attempts at distraction. The older boy fingered his insides, the nails uncomfortable against the inner walls and his abused, blooded entrance stretching too tightly over the digits. But when Sasuke started to push them in and out in time with his sucking, the sharp pain became a minor annoyance. The uncomfortable feeling of the fingers remained slightly odd, but felt good compared to the brutality it had suffered before. In fact, it felt good compared to almost anything. The gentle push and pull created a nice rhythm, filling him with a sickeningly sweet sensation of bliss.
Naruto groaned when the fingers were removed completely, as well as the mouth, giving one last flick of the tongue across the sensitive head. He heard the familiar schlip sound that had warned him the time before, and he shut his eyes, waiting for it. The head in his hands was drawing up, the pain would come momentarily, and maybe Sasuke would sleep afterwards this time and he could get away…
He didn’t expect to be kissed.