From the 'you can't even make shit like this up' files

[satan_dot_com]

Hi there, hey there, ho there (no really...ho, right there...damn she's toe up). Safely nestled back away from the center of evil (aka the US). Some of you worry too damn much. My final words wouldn't be in a text message...or so dull. Don't misconstrue, yeesh

Comments

[ajrbasketcase]

a... key? Aren't those usually given to people who have made great accomplishments?

....

Damn. She must have sucked a LOT of dick.

[satan_dot_com]

Sadly, one of them wasn't mine.

Wait...that's illegal.

Fuck, being 30...erm, 4,000...sucks.

But you're satan...

[ajrbasketcase]

Do you really give a fuck about legalities?