Hellos and goodbyes...
Well...thats it. I still have a month left in the country but I said my goodbyes to my Scottish ladies.
Got to the train station in Derby in excellent time, was really pleased with myself, then realised I'd forgotten to bring the back containing everyones cards/presents. I was so mad at myself! but there was nothing i could do about it.
I made it all the way to Jos' house on my own! I was so proud of myself, and Jos was completely surprised that I'd managed it (gee thanks!). I missed the first bus to her house because the people infront of me were blocking my path and walking so slow! Princes Street is crazy on a Saturday...especially at Christmas.
The bus driver said he'd tell me when we were at the fire station (my stop) so we got there and he was like "Broxburn fire station, right?" and I said yeah so he said "its just there" and pointed to it. so i was like "cool thanks" ready to get off the bus and he was giving me directions right to the fire station. I was thinking "why would I want to go to the actual station???? I think my house might've burnt down by now"
Josalin's mum wasn't letting her go to the xmas meal, which was mince, but understandable when you think about it. so i sorted my bag out and put Jos' pressies for people in it then she straightened my hair (didn't even burn me!! yay!) and I got changed. She asked me to stay at her house Sunday night cos I hadn't booked anywhere (I was planning on kipping on a bench to save my pennies) but I said no cos I thought it was cheeky. her mum was dead sweet to me saying she hoped I'd have a good time in America and wished me good luck. I was kinda rude cos i didn't really say anything back, but I was spazzing as usual with the added spaz of not wanting people to mention America.
The bus to Edinburgh was annoying/hilarious all in one. There was this bald manwoman that took 15 minutes to get on the bus. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. seriously. she/it was quite fat and carried 2 or 3 bumbags and a pair of ski stick thingys and was munching on an apple. it wasn't clear what was taking so long but she was driving me fucking crazy! then she started talking to this woman who had a little girl with her. i felt well sorry for the little girl, she looked well scared. then she started chanting and I asked Jos what she was saying, thinking it was her accent that i couldnt understand, but apparently it was jibberish to Josalin too.
we got into town a bit early so we went to the shop for dags and did a big circle around the shops then waited outside H&M for Lauren and Maree. I kicked myself up the arse and asked Jos if I could change my mind, and if it was ok for me to stay at her house on Sunday and she said it was. when Lauren and Maree arrived we headed over to the train station where Gordon was waiting for Jos at the steps. we all had a gab then we had to leave for the train and Gordon said he hoped I'd have a good time in America, which completely threw me because hes never spoken to me before and I didn't know he knew about me going to America. plus I always think people will be like me and just not speak people that they don't know unless they're forced to. So I kinda just nodded and smiled and mumbled a 'thankyou' back. I'm getting pretty good at that. I'm glad I stayed at Jos' on Sunday cos I would've hated that to be our big goodbye.
we just missed a train to Glasgow so we ended up being a bit late for the meal. we had a good natter and rant on the train though and I decided I couldn't wait to open my card and presents from Jos. I only opened one of them and my card, they're both really beautiful.
We finally got to the restaurant and I gave hugs and apologies for not having anything for anybody then I sat at the end next to Maree. I couldn't hear most of the conversations so I mostly stayed quiet or chatted to Lauren and Maree. Between two of the courses I decided I couldn't wait to open another of my presents from Jos so I opened it secretly under the table (I thought it was a bit rude to be doing it at a meal where I'm meant to be being sociable) but Maree caught me and about wet herself at the picture of Jos in a wheelchair. Its so funny! we passed it around the table.
I got loads of stuff at the meal too. Cards from everyone and a bag of goodies (and porn!) from Lynsey, a Hansony shot glass from Lynn and a cute tree decoration from Claire and Elaine. and the food was good! I was sober sister and on coke all night but it didn't stop me having a shitload of fun. the head waiter guy was hilarious - dancing to the choons and trying to steal the presents.
we waited outside Borders (Elaine's work) for ages whilst she left people's stuff in there and Claire...I don't know what she was doing but it took ages! then we went down to the pub but had to leave because Karen was ID'ed and shes only 17. we went to another pub and got in but I was at the bar for 45 minutes. FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. holy fuck i was ready for crying.
actually...i did cry. but not about that. I was sat in the corner knowing full well that this was my last night out for months with these girls. I was at the opposite end of the table from Laurie and I was just getting really upset thinking about not seeing her, so I kept escaping to the toilets. Lauren would come in and say "Emily? Are you weeing?" "Yeah" I didn't wee once in that pub. She knew full well but I just dried my tears and we hugged and I was cool again for another 10 minutes.
we ended up being kicked out of the pub because, after having been there for hours, some woman came and asked for ID. Karen had already gone but Lynsey (whos in her 20s) didn't have any ID on her so we had to leave. we left a nice present of smashed up cake (Lynn had brought a cake with a Hanson picture on it) all over the table. mwahaha!
Claire was rat arsed and went to the toilet once we'd got to the bus stop. she took Lynsey with her and the bus turned up whilst they were gone so we just left!
we (me, Lauren, Elaine, Maree, Claire and Lynsey) watched the porn in Elaine's room but I was really tired so I got under her covers and snuggled up to Lauren whilst they were still boozing. they got through 2 bottles of vodka. fucking hell. when Lauren went to the bathroom I had nothing to snuggle so I turned over and tried to snuggle my face against Maree's leg but she shuffled away from me! cheeky cow! so I shuffled up to her and snuggled again. haha! but I was only using the gobshite cos as soon as Laurie was back I snuggled back up with her.
When Claire had been, literally, dragged to bed and Lynsey had gone home we were left sitting and chatting on Elaines bed. at some point Elaine decided to go to sleep because she was working in the morning and the 3 of us that were left had a real good natter. mostly I just sat and listened - i was completely sober so I wasn't in the "spill all" frame of mind, plus it was nice to just listen to Maree and Lauren talking.
We went up to the loft at 8am and they were on the computer but there was a mattress on the floor and it was just too tempting so I bedded down. I was woken at 11am by Lauren playing Snowed In REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY, "why are you being such a bitch?" heehee.
Said my goodbyes to Claire and we caught the bus into Glasgow. We picked Maree and Laurens stuff up from Borders then went to the train station where I said bye to Maree. Lauren was trying to snooze on the train (she had only had 12 minutes sleep) but there were some little shits behind us on the train that were talking really loudly and kicking our seats. fuckers. I gave in and opened the final present from Jos.
Lauren went straight to work from the train, stinking of alcohol, still drunk, and having had next to no sleep. I waited outside H&M for Jos and then we went to the German market. we watched the ice skaters - it wasn't quite as good as New York, then went find a pub. we randonly decided to go into this one called The Saltire (thats the name of the Scottish flag, dontcha know?!?!?) which turned out to be some big lesbian pub. I dunno if it really was but the barwoman was a lesbian and half the customers looked like they were. we had cokes and chatted about anything and everything until we had to go meet her mum and dad.
we got a lift back from Josalin's parents but I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was so embarrassed to be falling asleep in their car but I was shattered. I woke up to some weird whistling contest, it was kinda surreal, then I snoozed some more.
I had an amazing night! her house is so Christmas-y, I fucking love Christmas! we watched a Christmas film with her mum because her dad had gone out. I was being all snoozy again though and kept falling asleep on the sofa. oh, and before that we were watching the Royal Variety Performance and mocking most of the people on it whilst debating whether Scotland or England was better and having a battle about whether the Queen is cool or not.
we watched Lynsey's porn in Jos' bedroom. holy shit its so good! but cos we were lying on the bed I got all snoozy again. Jos went somewhere for a couple of minutes and when she came back I'd taken off my glasses and was curled up on my side. we had a cuddle and a cry then went to make food.
Josalin had made tea, which turned out surprisingly delicious. oh man it was hilarious! I was gonna help her cook but there wasn't really anything for me to do so I just sat and watched her creation evolve. I was starting to dread having to eat it when I saw her squeeze half a lemon into the sauce. when her mum got back she said "you put lemon in the sauce, don't you?" but her mum said no, she only put it in the pasta water. I was weeing myself. her mum saw that she was putting random herbs into the concoction and said "just don't use the garlic pepper, its awful" so I did another wee because she'd already used it. but its 1-0 to Scotland cos it actually tasted great.
yogi was totally lovin me! I was amazed. I was sat on the sofa and he came over to me and sniffed my hand then licked it and let me pet him. when I got a bit too enthusiastic about it he backed away though and hasn't let me pet him since! I think we made progress though :)
Jos' mum had made a Christmas cake and we were to make snowmen out of icing for the top of it. oh man it was so much fun!! we made them have a snowball fight. I was really crap at making them. they looked ok until I drew faces and scarves on them then it just went downhill. when I left this afternoon I said "sorry if we ruined your cake" to her mum but she said it turned out really well (yeah, I totally had a joke with Jos' mum, I'M SO COOL). Jos made a snowman Pap and Lauren, and I made a snowman Jos but her mum called snowman Pap ugly so we weren't allowed to put them on the cake! Pap had an eyepatch and Jos...well she was just a really tiny little snowman with blue eyes!
I helped Jos to download a video player to her computer so we could watch the New York videos. She had her hand on the speaker volume the whole time cos of all the swearing! and we were killing ourselves laughing but her dad had gone to bed so we had to stop so we silently rolled around the floor, they're so funny.
we bedded down on the sofas in the living room, Sooty came over for some Pap lovin, and we stayed up chatting until 4am. it was so good, just lying there and chatting. it just felt really good. I only woke up at 12noon today. Jos wasn't on the sofa anymore but I could hear Snowed In coming from the kitchen so I had a peep in and she was fully dressed and everything so I went and got myself ready then we headed into town.
Jos tried to get away with using American money on the bus, again, but the driver was having none of it. well...he accepted it but said it wasn't enough, asshole.
we had vegiburgers at Wetherspoons and I had my first alcohol of the weekend. I was in the mood to get shitfaced but I just had one drink. there was only just over an hour before my train so we decided to head back to The Saltire, "Why would you buy a tshirt with the name of a pub that you go to on it? thats so stupid, i bet they never sell any...we should totally get one!"
half an hour til my train we decided to get going so we started putting scarves and coats on then sat for about 10 minutes hugging and getting all weepy. we were walking down the street with teary eyes then we walk past Jamaica Man singing the same song he always sings and it just made us sob. I'm gonna give that dude some cash next time I see him...in a few months.
The train station was pretty hard. I don't really wanna go over it. I waited til they blew the whistle then jumped on the train. the guy next to me offered me some of his chocolate to cheer me up, the cutie. I said no and sat and listened to Jonny Lang instead. I spent half an hour reading through my cards and looking at all my gifts and getting all weepy again.
Was a good weekend. a good way to say bye to everyone. Claire's 25th is in a couple of weeks and I could go up for it but I'm really unsure about it. i wanna see everyone as much as possible but i think i should just leave it how it is now. I've said my goodbyes and I certainly don't want to go through the train station again.
I think because its a month before I leave its not properly hit me yet that that was it. Lauren coming into Elaine's room whilst I was sat on the bed and putting her arms around my waist, burying her head into my stomach and telling me she loves me was my last big massive amazing hug from Lauren until at least July.
Fuck, its kinda starting to sink in now I'm typing it. My last hug from Jos for months. Over half a year. Its just...well I don't think I need to explain.
What is it with songs this past weekend? Its like someone has been playing a soundtrack to my feelings. How appropriate that this song just came on my player
Goodbye, is this how you want it?
I'll leave, but I don't want to go.
I have a paper due tomorrow today that I have yet to start. I just spent over an hour and a half typing this. So not in the mood.
Got to the train station in Derby in excellent time, was really pleased with myself, then realised I'd forgotten to bring the back containing everyones cards/presents. I was so mad at myself! but there was nothing i could do about it.
I made it all the way to Jos' house on my own! I was so proud of myself, and Jos was completely surprised that I'd managed it (gee thanks!). I missed the first bus to her house because the people infront of me were blocking my path and walking so slow! Princes Street is crazy on a Saturday...especially at Christmas.
The bus driver said he'd tell me when we were at the fire station (my stop) so we got there and he was like "Broxburn fire station, right?" and I said yeah so he said "its just there" and pointed to it. so i was like "cool thanks" ready to get off the bus and he was giving me directions right to the fire station. I was thinking "why would I want to go to the actual station???? I think my house might've burnt down by now"
Josalin's mum wasn't letting her go to the xmas meal, which was mince, but understandable when you think about it. so i sorted my bag out and put Jos' pressies for people in it then she straightened my hair (didn't even burn me!! yay!) and I got changed. She asked me to stay at her house Sunday night cos I hadn't booked anywhere (I was planning on kipping on a bench to save my pennies) but I said no cos I thought it was cheeky. her mum was dead sweet to me saying she hoped I'd have a good time in America and wished me good luck. I was kinda rude cos i didn't really say anything back, but I was spazzing as usual with the added spaz of not wanting people to mention America.
The bus to Edinburgh was annoying/hilarious all in one. There was this bald manwoman that took 15 minutes to get on the bus. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. seriously. she/it was quite fat and carried 2 or 3 bumbags and a pair of ski stick thingys and was munching on an apple. it wasn't clear what was taking so long but she was driving me fucking crazy! then she started talking to this woman who had a little girl with her. i felt well sorry for the little girl, she looked well scared. then she started chanting and I asked Jos what she was saying, thinking it was her accent that i couldnt understand, but apparently it was jibberish to Josalin too.
we got into town a bit early so we went to the shop for dags and did a big circle around the shops then waited outside H&M for Lauren and Maree. I kicked myself up the arse and asked Jos if I could change my mind, and if it was ok for me to stay at her house on Sunday and she said it was. when Lauren and Maree arrived we headed over to the train station where Gordon was waiting for Jos at the steps. we all had a gab then we had to leave for the train and Gordon said he hoped I'd have a good time in America, which completely threw me because hes never spoken to me before and I didn't know he knew about me going to America. plus I always think people will be like me and just not speak people that they don't know unless they're forced to. So I kinda just nodded and smiled and mumbled a 'thankyou' back. I'm getting pretty good at that. I'm glad I stayed at Jos' on Sunday cos I would've hated that to be our big goodbye.
we just missed a train to Glasgow so we ended up being a bit late for the meal. we had a good natter and rant on the train though and I decided I couldn't wait to open my card and presents from Jos. I only opened one of them and my card, they're both really beautiful.
We finally got to the restaurant and I gave hugs and apologies for not having anything for anybody then I sat at the end next to Maree. I couldn't hear most of the conversations so I mostly stayed quiet or chatted to Lauren and Maree. Between two of the courses I decided I couldn't wait to open another of my presents from Jos so I opened it secretly under the table (I thought it was a bit rude to be doing it at a meal where I'm meant to be being sociable) but Maree caught me and about wet herself at the picture of Jos in a wheelchair. Its so funny! we passed it around the table.
I got loads of stuff at the meal too. Cards from everyone and a bag of goodies (and porn!) from Lynsey, a Hansony shot glass from Lynn and a cute tree decoration from Claire and Elaine. and the food was good! I was sober sister and on coke all night but it didn't stop me having a shitload of fun. the head waiter guy was hilarious - dancing to the choons and trying to steal the presents.
we waited outside Borders (Elaine's work) for ages whilst she left people's stuff in there and Claire...I don't know what she was doing but it took ages! then we went down to the pub but had to leave because Karen was ID'ed and shes only 17. we went to another pub and got in but I was at the bar for 45 minutes. FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. holy fuck i was ready for crying.
actually...i did cry. but not about that. I was sat in the corner knowing full well that this was my last night out for months with these girls. I was at the opposite end of the table from Laurie and I was just getting really upset thinking about not seeing her, so I kept escaping to the toilets. Lauren would come in and say "Emily? Are you weeing?" "Yeah" I didn't wee once in that pub. She knew full well but I just dried my tears and we hugged and I was cool again for another 10 minutes.
we ended up being kicked out of the pub because, after having been there for hours, some woman came and asked for ID. Karen had already gone but Lynsey (whos in her 20s) didn't have any ID on her so we had to leave. we left a nice present of smashed up cake (Lynn had brought a cake with a Hanson picture on it) all over the table. mwahaha!
Claire was rat arsed and went to the toilet once we'd got to the bus stop. she took Lynsey with her and the bus turned up whilst they were gone so we just left!
we (me, Lauren, Elaine, Maree, Claire and Lynsey) watched the porn in Elaine's room but I was really tired so I got under her covers and snuggled up to Lauren whilst they were still boozing. they got through 2 bottles of vodka. fucking hell. when Lauren went to the bathroom I had nothing to snuggle so I turned over and tried to snuggle my face against Maree's leg but she shuffled away from me! cheeky cow! so I shuffled up to her and snuggled again. haha! but I was only using the gobshite cos as soon as Laurie was back I snuggled back up with her.
When Claire had been, literally, dragged to bed and Lynsey had gone home we were left sitting and chatting on Elaines bed. at some point Elaine decided to go to sleep because she was working in the morning and the 3 of us that were left had a real good natter. mostly I just sat and listened - i was completely sober so I wasn't in the "spill all" frame of mind, plus it was nice to just listen to Maree and Lauren talking.
We went up to the loft at 8am and they were on the computer but there was a mattress on the floor and it was just too tempting so I bedded down. I was woken at 11am by Lauren playing Snowed In REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY, "why are you being such a bitch?" heehee.
Said my goodbyes to Claire and we caught the bus into Glasgow. We picked Maree and Laurens stuff up from Borders then went to the train station where I said bye to Maree. Lauren was trying to snooze on the train (she had only had 12 minutes sleep) but there were some little shits behind us on the train that were talking really loudly and kicking our seats. fuckers. I gave in and opened the final present from Jos.
Lauren went straight to work from the train, stinking of alcohol, still drunk, and having had next to no sleep. I waited outside H&M for Jos and then we went to the German market. we watched the ice skaters - it wasn't quite as good as New York, then went find a pub. we randonly decided to go into this one called The Saltire (thats the name of the Scottish flag, dontcha know?!?!?) which turned out to be some big lesbian pub. I dunno if it really was but the barwoman was a lesbian and half the customers looked like they were. we had cokes and chatted about anything and everything until we had to go meet her mum and dad.
we got a lift back from Josalin's parents but I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was so embarrassed to be falling asleep in their car but I was shattered. I woke up to some weird whistling contest, it was kinda surreal, then I snoozed some more.
I had an amazing night! her house is so Christmas-y, I fucking love Christmas! we watched a Christmas film with her mum because her dad had gone out. I was being all snoozy again though and kept falling asleep on the sofa. oh, and before that we were watching the Royal Variety Performance and mocking most of the people on it whilst debating whether Scotland or England was better and having a battle about whether the Queen is cool or not.
we watched Lynsey's porn in Jos' bedroom. holy shit its so good! but cos we were lying on the bed I got all snoozy again. Jos went somewhere for a couple of minutes and when she came back I'd taken off my glasses and was curled up on my side. we had a cuddle and a cry then went to make food.
Josalin had made tea, which turned out surprisingly delicious. oh man it was hilarious! I was gonna help her cook but there wasn't really anything for me to do so I just sat and watched her creation evolve. I was starting to dread having to eat it when I saw her squeeze half a lemon into the sauce. when her mum got back she said "you put lemon in the sauce, don't you?" but her mum said no, she only put it in the pasta water. I was weeing myself. her mum saw that she was putting random herbs into the concoction and said "just don't use the garlic pepper, its awful" so I did another wee because she'd already used it. but its 1-0 to Scotland cos it actually tasted great.
yogi was totally lovin me! I was amazed. I was sat on the sofa and he came over to me and sniffed my hand then licked it and let me pet him. when I got a bit too enthusiastic about it he backed away though and hasn't let me pet him since! I think we made progress though :)
Jos' mum had made a Christmas cake and we were to make snowmen out of icing for the top of it. oh man it was so much fun!! we made them have a snowball fight. I was really crap at making them. they looked ok until I drew faces and scarves on them then it just went downhill. when I left this afternoon I said "sorry if we ruined your cake" to her mum but she said it turned out really well (yeah, I totally had a joke with Jos' mum, I'M SO COOL). Jos made a snowman Pap and Lauren, and I made a snowman Jos but her mum called snowman Pap ugly so we weren't allowed to put them on the cake! Pap had an eyepatch and Jos...well she was just a really tiny little snowman with blue eyes!
I helped Jos to download a video player to her computer so we could watch the New York videos. She had her hand on the speaker volume the whole time cos of all the swearing! and we were killing ourselves laughing but her dad had gone to bed so we had to stop so we silently rolled around the floor, they're so funny.
we bedded down on the sofas in the living room, Sooty came over for some Pap lovin, and we stayed up chatting until 4am. it was so good, just lying there and chatting. it just felt really good. I only woke up at 12noon today. Jos wasn't on the sofa anymore but I could hear Snowed In coming from the kitchen so I had a peep in and she was fully dressed and everything so I went and got myself ready then we headed into town.
Jos tried to get away with using American money on the bus, again, but the driver was having none of it. well...he accepted it but said it wasn't enough, asshole.
we had vegiburgers at Wetherspoons and I had my first alcohol of the weekend. I was in the mood to get shitfaced but I just had one drink. there was only just over an hour before my train so we decided to head back to The Saltire, "Why would you buy a tshirt with the name of a pub that you go to on it? thats so stupid, i bet they never sell any...we should totally get one!"
half an hour til my train we decided to get going so we started putting scarves and coats on then sat for about 10 minutes hugging and getting all weepy. we were walking down the street with teary eyes then we walk past Jamaica Man singing the same song he always sings and it just made us sob. I'm gonna give that dude some cash next time I see him...in a few months.
The train station was pretty hard. I don't really wanna go over it. I waited til they blew the whistle then jumped on the train. the guy next to me offered me some of his chocolate to cheer me up, the cutie. I said no and sat and listened to Jonny Lang instead. I spent half an hour reading through my cards and looking at all my gifts and getting all weepy again.
Was a good weekend. a good way to say bye to everyone. Claire's 25th is in a couple of weeks and I could go up for it but I'm really unsure about it. i wanna see everyone as much as possible but i think i should just leave it how it is now. I've said my goodbyes and I certainly don't want to go through the train station again.
I think because its a month before I leave its not properly hit me yet that that was it. Lauren coming into Elaine's room whilst I was sat on the bed and putting her arms around my waist, burying her head into my stomach and telling me she loves me was my last big massive amazing hug from Lauren until at least July.
Fuck, its kinda starting to sink in now I'm typing it. My last hug from Jos for months. Over half a year. Its just...well I don't think I need to explain.
What is it with songs this past weekend? Its like someone has been playing a soundtrack to my feelings. How appropriate that this song just came on my player
Goodbye, is this how you want it?
I'll leave, but I don't want to go.
I have a paper due tomorrow today that I have yet to start. I just spent over an hour and a half typing this. So not in the mood.