Pairing Meme!
One true pairing:
Ian/Lee!!!1!11!!!!11! [Did anyone NOT see that coming?] They're just so pretty together! And perfect! And Ian's all tiny, hip wiggling, epitome-of-sex-and-knows-it hot, complaining about being labelled gay [the band as a whole usually *coughIwonderwhyanyonewouldwantthatcough*] but yet always touching everyone else in the band, being all smirky because he just knows he radiates sex and everyone wants him. And then there's Lee being all blonde and prettiest-man-in-the-world, and smiling wider when Ian's around or if they're close in pictures, and not taking his eyes off him onstage at the gig I went to see, and Ian just touching everyone else in the band and radiating sex and knowing everyone wants him, and Lee being older and supposedly wiser than this, but hell you can't choose who you fall in love with!
You can just sit and wish it wasn't such an asshole. A hot, sexy asshole. With gun tattoos, mmmgnuhn.
If this happens I'll spork my eyes out:
Stu!slash! Pretty much. Because he is TEH STRAITE 0NE!
Exceptions would be [and this is only when worst comes to worst and you're desperate, only then is it acceptable]:
- Stu/BigMike for the sake of pairing up the whole band into happy little pairings, i.e. Ian/Lee and Jamie/LittleMike. And only brief mentions of it even then.
- Stu/LittleMike, because sadly, there are many pictures of them touching, and being quite cute [like Stu with Mike in his arms carrying him like a prince saving a princess from a wicked witch cough]. But yes, Stu is the straight one. And manly. Big... manly... chest...
You are one sick bastard:
Muhahaha Shannon. That is all. Anything I write Shannon into will be on a varying level of dark and sick and wrong. Even if it doesn't always get out onto the page, it's there in my head. [Re: Shannon having sex with his brother's son on said brother's grave in one story]
I don't think there's anything else? But I don't know, I'm just not sick I guess. Or don't consider the same things sick, because actually some of the kink fic I've written before has gotten a "you're sick!" in response. [Sickinagoodway!]
I dabble a little:
Ah, uhm...
Jamie/Jared, Jamie/LittleMike, Mike/Jamie/Mike, Jamie/Lee, Jamie/Shannon, Jamie/Jared/Shannon, Jared/Lee, Ian/Jamie, Ian/LittleMike, Ian/Quinn, Lee/Quinn, Bert/Quinn, Nicky/Richey, Gwen/Eve... There's probably more but my memory sucks. Some of the pairings do get really mixed up and intertwined into pairings I never would have though if the plot demands. Sometimes personalities in fic and plot just mix odd pairings! That become not-so-odd...
It's like a car crash:
I'm-actually-a-thirteen-year-old-girl-in-disguise!Ian/I'm-actually-a-thirteen-year-old-girl-in-disguise!Lee wherein the [13-year-old-or-something-similar] author [with the mental age of a My Little Pony] seemingly sits down and says to herself, "Okay so if I wanted to tell this boy I liked him, and wanted him to say it back and love me forever and marry me and have my babies and buy a house with a white picket fence and a swing in the back yard, well now how would that go exactly?"
Insert love confessions and weeping-crying-sobbing TEARS and then gay confessions when author remembers she's projecting her own fantasies onto SLASH fanfiction and therefore the characters MUST be secretly gay as well as in love, just to make the confessions so much more HEARTFELTOMG. And then make then sniffling magically disappear as they snog and don't notice any tears or snot at all, and everything is just PERFECT, and then insert shagging wherein they're "nervous" but it'll be okay and eprfect beause they're in love and this isn't real and certainly not anywhere NEAR ACCURATE ANYWAY.
It makes my eyes BLEED I tell you. There's other things, but that one is the worst, and biggest problem at the moment.
Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet:
Gerard/Bert. I've written it, but I'm not all over it and exploding in new pairing fangirl joy yet. And Stu/LittleMike omg burn me at the stake right now please.
Makes very little canon sense but why the hell not:
Jamie/Jared! And ridiculous AUs! I mean, Jamie and Jared have possibly never even seen each other, and have almost certainly never met, but dude half the fun is Jamie's secret fangirlness anyway! I mean, most things make very little canon sense, because all of them deny profusely that they're gay and then go round touching and kissing and groping each other and saying that's okay for best friends to do, and a bunch of them have girlfriends, but there are also a lot of reasons you can at least see where I'm coming from, and not think I've pulled some nothing out of nowhere, and some random pairing because they're hot and pretty. Honestly I haven't!
Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it:
Benji/Joel. Joel is not hot. Benji is not hot [except in strange rare moments when he pulls moody faces, because, quite frankly, Em is a sucky for moody faces (see Carl Barat of The Libertines for veryveryVERY good example of this)]. Them together, it's not hot. And the little twincest I've ever poked around and seen has been:
99% PWP
99.9% absolute crap
70% [recently] 1n dis stor1e thr'ye not reelated omg!
30% epics with 30 or 40 or 50-something chapters of about 300 words each with nothing especially new or great happening in them, and why didn't you end this story months ago? Or hell, before it started?
1% [perhaps] focusing on the actual interesting aspects of twincest, i.e. - the narcissism, the guilt, the conflict and self-hate. And all those other great psychological aspects that would actually make me interested to read it for what it is. TWINCEST.
Bored now:
- New-boy-at-school-miraculously-falls-in-love-with-main-character-leads-to-angst-and-sex-and-absolutely-NO-original-plot. Recently I keep seeing it done EVERYWHERE like it wasn't written years and years ago. And written worse these days too.
- PWP. Especially EPIC PWP. What is the POINT? How many times can characters have sex before you start physically copying and pasting previous scenes into the new chapter because you write it exactly the same every time anyway? And how many different places can you make them have sex already? P.s - "URGH [insert name] FUCK ME HARDER!" isn't hot. At all. I feel sorry for people who think it is.
- Random pairings that make no sense and are obviously just someone pairing up two people because they're HAWTOMG. I mean one or two pairings, yeah I understand that, hell I've done it with Jamie/Jared haven't I? But when all you ever do is sit and pull names out of a hat and then write ridiculous "they meet in high school obviously even though they don't even come from the same state!" ways for them to meet... You might as well be writing original characters.
Guilty pleasure:
Ridiculous AUs that I'm obviously only writing so I can image Jamie as the captain of a pirate ship [hey he went through a pirate phase; it's practically CANON!], and Lee in a Victorian dress complete with corset, and LittleMike as a priest in Verona. Oh, and schoolgirl!Jamie OF COURSE. But these are all for my amusement so this is fine and good.
When all is said and done:
IAN+LEE=TROOLUV4EVAHOMG
;)
[And you KNOW Jamie's a Jared fangirl really, and has all the films he's ever been in lined up on his shelf, and has been to 30STM gigs. Really, he has I swear].