Of One Wing Missing (Chapter 4)
Title : Of One Wing Missing (Chapter 4)
Pairing : Ohmiya (Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari)
Rating : PG-13
Genre : Fluff, Romance
Beta : My dearest friend fey_37
Summary : Ohno finally found the other half of his wings, but what if his other half already had two wings?
Love is about giving.
As long as Ohno has been alive, he has always been loved. His mother greeted him happily when he was born, because she had always dreamed to have a boy. His sister was more than happy to have a cute little brother and his father was laughing at him. So, he grew up with so much love and affection by his family.
He is multitalented. His natural talents in drawing, singing, dancing has been showed since he was a child. He has a very flexible body and a good voice. That’s why he was accepted by his Agency and passed the audition when he was 15 years old. His career rose rapidly and he released his first debut single when he was 19 years old, the same year he got his first stage play.
Having an exceptional talent for an idol, he became loved by his fans. Everybody love him. Being cute, kind and humble as he is, it is easy to love him.
That’s why he felt hurt so much over his one-sided love toward Ninomiya. Because until now he never had to exert effort to get loved, he has never been the one chasing love. Love has always come to him naturally. And now he feels as if his heart is broken because there is no way Ninomiya will feel the same. And he doesn’t want to try changing things nor does he want to confess either because Ninomiya has already someone he loves.
But, Ohno has realized something. Perhaps love doesn’t just mean being together, it might not always be about reciprocating. Maybe love is just about giving…
After that little warmer conversation they had two weeks ago, the distance between him and Ninomiya has lessen..He starts to feel more comfortable with him, smiling slightly and mumbling a little at Ninomiya’s babbling, noticing how the younger man is being more cheerful than before.
But, he said, today his wife will have a big surgery. Ohno remembers he said the chance of success is very small. So, Ohno decided to visit Ninomiya’s wife and asked Sho-chan where she was hospitalized.
And now he is looking at the weak body lying in the hospital bed. Ohno doesn’t dare going inside the room, he is just watching from the window. Maybe the surgery has finished. Ninomiya is there, holding her hands tightly.
This is his wife. She looks so pale, so thin. As if she will not be able to survive. Ohno thinks.
There’s a tear in his heart when he looks at Ninomiya. He is crying, holding his wife’s hand to his chest and sobbing.
Suddenly, Ninomiya stands up of his seat and panic. He calls the doctor and nurse, he even doesn’t notice Ohno who is confused about what is happening. The doctor and nurse come, surrounding Ninomiya’s wife. After a while, the doctor hugs Ninomiya’s shoulder, and the young man screams, crying as he shakes his wife’s body. Ohno realizes then that Ninomiya’s wife has passed away and he feels a very strong desire to hug him.
******
Nino’s POV
When something very important in your life is gone, it is just like you want to die. You lose a reason to breath and smile, you feel lost, empty and scared..
The surgery has failed. I know. The doctor told me, with a regretful tone that Masami is no longer alive. He patted my back, trying to comfort me. But, still I didn’t want to believe. Masami has been a part of my life since we were child. She was always besides me, always there and she is included in every single part of my life. My first try to ride a bicycle, my first argument with my father, when my mother died, when I got my first job..
She was always there. Cheering me up when I was sad, scolding me when I blamed my father over my mother death, hugging me when I felt annoyed, anxious, scared..
Masami was my best friend, my best partner in my life. When she told me that she loved me, I was happy even though I didn’t know what were my feelings for her. But, I had never been in love with someone else, so it was easy to marry her.
She always said that I didn’t love her. I don’t know what love is, so I thought love was not important as long as we were happy living together.
But now she is gone, leaving me alone in this big world. My relationship with my father is still bad, and I don’t have other family.
I am still holding her cold hand, still crying, and shaking her body, knowing that it is useless. She is gone. I fall on the floor. The doctor and nurse try to pull me up, but I don’t want to. I want to scream. This is not fair. Everyone has their family and friends. Why the person who is my only family and friend has been taken away from me?
I want to blame the doctor. Why couldn’t he save my Masami? Why did he let her die?...
But, I just keep crying, sitting on the floor, until a hand catch my shoulder and take me into his arms. I feel warm under his embrace. He caresses my back soothingly as I keep crying over his shoulder. I don’t know who he is. Maybe he is Sho-kun, I don’t care. I just need someone to hold right know.
The feeling of his embrace calm me down. He smells like a new bedsheet that just set up on the bed. Fragrant, warm, peaceful,..
“It’s OK. I’m here with you” I hear him saying making me feel more comfortable. But this isn’t Sho-chan’s voice. I raise my head and my eyes met his. It is Ohno-san.
***
Ohno is looking at Nino’s shocked eyes. He is smiling to him, and pulls Nino back to his arms. Nino doesn’t struggle. He just leans weakly into Ohno’s chest, crying hard, holding the older man’s arms tightly. Ohno lets him cry, carressing his back, until Nino feels better and stops crying.
After the funeral Ohno takes Nino to his apartment, because Nino refuses to talk and Ohno doesn’t know where he lives. He looks so weak, fragile, and like he is losing his mind.
Once in Ohno’s apartment, Nino keeps silent. Ohno drags him to sit on his couch and gives him a hot tea. Ohno is confused, he doesn’t know how to behave so he lets Nino curl in his couch until he falls asleep.
Ohno takes him to his bedroom, removing his jacket cautiously to not awaken him. He looks at the sleeping figure and his heart clutched hurt and feels want to cry. He can’t see him like this. This is not the same Nino who used to smile and talk cheerfully to him everyday.
He trails his finger over Nino’s hair, separating his bang, caressing his eyes, his nose, his cheek. Nino looks so beautiful and fragile. Ohno feels the urge to protect him, to hug him..,
He kisses Nino forehead and hugs him until he falls asleep.
***
Nino wakes up with a warm feeling, a pair of hands hugging his waist. Startled, Nino hurries out of bed, staring at Ohno, confused. He doesn’t really remember about yesterday. He just knows that Masami is gone and at the moment he feels like he is losing his mind.
He feels weird, knowing that Ohno-san hugged him in his bed, and was so nice to him yesterday. He wasn’t like that at all before, but, looking at Ohno’s face now, he is stunned. Ohno is like a baby when he sleeps. His face looks very innocent, with a nice nose and wonderful lips. Nino feels his heart skip a beat.
It’s strange to admire Ohno-san’s face while he is sleeping, Nino.
He decides to go home, but Ohno awakes right at that moment. He rubs his eyes, staring at Nino and he smiles at him. Warm smile.,
“Are you feeling better?” Ohno asks worried. He tries to touch Nino’s cheek, but Nino grabs his hand.
It’s weird. Ohno-san behaves strangely., What’s wrong with him? Is he feeling pity for me?
“Ano, Ohno-san. Thank you for taking care of me. I’m...,,I’m so sorry for my strange behaviour yesterday,.. I.. I...I..just,, just wanna go home” he stutters, jumping from the bed and leaving in a hurry. His eyes looking scared.
Ohno is shocked by his reaction.
Of course. Now, he will think you are weird. There is no normal man hugging another man in his bed.
Ohno scratches his head in frustration. He just wants to protect Nino. But It seems wrong because now, Nino is scared of him.
****
Two days without coming to work is just a normal thing for someone who has just lost his wife. But it has been a week he he hasn’t seen Nino. Asking Sho-chan didn’t yield anything. He also doesn’t know where Nino lives, the young man didn’t leave his address at the office. He is worried something happened to him. He decides to go to the hospital where Nino’s wife was treated, maybe they have an address.
***
Nino’s POV
Feeling lost and empty is a scary feeling. It is like when my mom died. Everything seems dark and blurred, like you lost your vision, your step, your dream. Every night, you're going to dream of entering a very large black hole and can’t come back. When you wake up, the world becomes an uninteresting place to live because you are alone.
When my mom died, I still had Masami. And now that Masami died I don’t have anyone else. This feeling is suffocating me so much. I can’t breath.
I am angry. It is like when my father slapped my mother and I could’t do anything but cry. I can only blame God (even I don’t believe in God). He took my only reason to live. Now, what should I do? Would it be better to die?
***
Ohno is staring at the door. He has knocked at the door several times but there was no answer. He calls Nino’s name, but still no answer. So, he decides to pull the door knob and get in. The apartment is so dark, curtain and window are closed. He searches for the fragile body while calling his name but gets no answer. Until he hears sobbing from the corner room. He is there, hugging a picture frame. He looks pale and thin and has probably not slept nor eaten for days.
He feels pain in his heart and reaches for Nino’s shoulder.
“Nino.. .Nino… please stop crying..” He says.
Nino raises his head and looks at him. Ohno notices the picture in the frame. It shows Nino, his wife, and an older woman. Maybe his mother?
“Ohno-san. What are you doing here?” He asks. Nino wondering how he managed to find his address.
Ohno touches his cheek and wipes his tears
“I’m looking for you. Are you okay? Need someone to talk? Please don’t act like this” He says sadly.
Nino is looking at him. Confused. Ohno is too nice to him. He can’t let Ohno feels pity for him, but, he really needs someone to hold now, someone to shed his tears with.
“Ohno-san,, why.. why all the people that I love left me.,,” He cries into Ohno’s chest as Ohno takes him into his embrace.
“It’s OK., It’s me here. You still have me. I will never leave you” he says, gently rubbing his back.
“Ohno-san,, I want to die,,,,...” Nino still sheds his tears over Ohno’s shirt.
“No. No. Don’t say that. Don’t say that” Ohno feels panicked. He hugs Nino more tightly. He will lose everything if Nino dies. Nino is his love, his air, his breath.
“Ohno-san, why are you so nice to me, everyone leaves me. You should do it too” Nino cries, sinking his face in Ohno’s chest.
“I will never leave you, Nino. I will protect you. We are friends, remember?” Ohno says.
Yes, he will protect Nino from now on and never leave him alone again. He will take him to live with him, until Nino heals mentally, making sure he will not commit suicide.
TBC
Note : to fey_37 , I tried to replace the words in paragraph 1 and 2, but I'm failed. So, I let them the way they are XDD (such a bad Author)
And, Minnaaa,, gomen for delayed, and for making you confused, cause I wrote Nino's POV here,, I just wanted you to know about Nino's feeling (as usual, I just a bad Author),, XP