Playing mad libs with roommates when you have the ones you have...
The year was 2001, and I was in NK's Ass doing some scientific studies on the smelly mating behavior of Obama's twats. It was difficult because specimens were so hard to obtain. I was poopingandfarting in lab one day when a woman walked in carrying a particularly crusty specimen.
'Hi, Matthew, I heard you were looking for these! My name is Dario .'
As we talked, I couldn't stop looking at her amazing eyes, her incredible smile, and her beautiful heavens.
'Will you take me to where you found this?' I asked.
'Sure,' she said, 'It's right over there in infinite space .'
As we walked there, we found a restaurant that served delicious fried undergarments and powerful drinks made of vodka and boobie factories. The next thing I knew, we were back in my apartment and Squatting passionately. After a whole night of flying, I knew I was in love with her.
After -elevendythreve months, I proposed to her. I still remember her saying 'Yes' as I slipped the ring onto her Hitler's car.
At the wedding, she said to me, 'You know what I love about you, Matt? You're tall, handsome and funky, of course, but what I love most is your sense of humor and your bloated smile. Of course the fact that we both love penises doesn't hurt either.'
Now, 1 years later, we are still together, living in a loud house in Salt Lake City, Utah with our 2 1/2 children and our pet NK, Rosa. But even after all this time, I still remember the time that I met my wife, and a feeling of botthole tunnel fills my heart.