MADOKA MAGICA
MIRACLES THIS SHOW HAS CAUSED TO HAPPEN
-I am actually updating my LJ again
-I am writing fanfiction again
-For the first time, I desperately want anime merch which is not avaliable (this is not really a miracle)
The only thing on her side is time. But she has a lot of it.
She explores the limits of her abilities. She stops time for longer and longer intervals, marking down how rapidly her Soul Gem depletes each time, until she can express her magical energy expenditure in a mathematical formula. She conserves her energy as carefully as she can, timing her attacks to either defeat Witches in one blow or cripple them so she can afford to wait it out. She learns that careful use of her power allows her to fight enemies far more powerful than she is. She hoards Grief Seeds, storing them until just before the last trace of purple vanishes from her Gem.
She takes notes on everything: the Witches that come to Mitakihara, the ways that the town's Puelli Magi die, where Walpurgis Night appears. When she intends to return to the day after her surgery she forces herself to learn the notes by memory before she goes back again. From these numbers she creates statistics that guide her through her mission. She formulates strategies based on event probabilities, so that every event becomes a marker leading down a path she has not taken before.
She finds weapons. Stealing from police lockers only takes her so far: the sort of criminals the police can find don't have the arsenal she needs. She joins a revolutionary anarchist group's BBS and learns to construct pipe bombs, time bombs, bombs with remote detonation. She buys guns from underworld arms dealers using credit cards stolen from businessmen who try to grope her on the train. She breaks into JSDF bases and steals assault rifles and guided missiles. Under the bridge she stops time and shoots targets for hours, memorizing the feeling until holding a gun is as natural to her as holding a pencil.
She tests the limits of her body, learning how much weight it takes to break her bones, how quickly they can heal under optimal circumstances. She takes First Aid classes at the rec centre and keeps a kit in her shield. She trains herself in running and jumping until she has reached the peak physical fitness possible for a fourteen-year-old girl. Then she keeps going, knowing she has to surpass herself if she ever stands a chance of defeating Walpurgis Night alone. She gets over her initial fear of her unliving body. Instead, she becomes proud of its ability to deflect pain. No matter how many times she is struck or stabbed or thrown to the ground, it rises one more time, ready to keep her alive to complete her wish.
She learns that it is easy to kill for love.
She learns that violence is not wrong. Love is violent. Love has pierced her heart like a bullet, or an arrow, and lodged itself inside her. It hurts, but that pain suffuses her body with the hope she needs. Just looking at Madoka is enough to reignite that pain and keep her fighting another day.
She wishes sometimes that she could stop time forever and keep Madoka safe that way, enclosed in a world that never moves or changes. But she knows she never will. Madoka is meant to be in motion: smiling, laughing with her friends, sneezing when she has a cold, pulling down the hem of her skirt while she walks. Free. Living.
She has all the time in the world. But sometimes in the darkness, she wonders if it will ever be enough.
-I am actually updating my LJ again
-I am writing fanfiction again
-For the first time, I desperately want anime merch which is not avaliable (this is not really a miracle)
The only thing on her side is time. But she has a lot of it.
She explores the limits of her abilities. She stops time for longer and longer intervals, marking down how rapidly her Soul Gem depletes each time, until she can express her magical energy expenditure in a mathematical formula. She conserves her energy as carefully as she can, timing her attacks to either defeat Witches in one blow or cripple them so she can afford to wait it out. She learns that careful use of her power allows her to fight enemies far more powerful than she is. She hoards Grief Seeds, storing them until just before the last trace of purple vanishes from her Gem.
She takes notes on everything: the Witches that come to Mitakihara, the ways that the town's Puelli Magi die, where Walpurgis Night appears. When she intends to return to the day after her surgery she forces herself to learn the notes by memory before she goes back again. From these numbers she creates statistics that guide her through her mission. She formulates strategies based on event probabilities, so that every event becomes a marker leading down a path she has not taken before.
She finds weapons. Stealing from police lockers only takes her so far: the sort of criminals the police can find don't have the arsenal she needs. She joins a revolutionary anarchist group's BBS and learns to construct pipe bombs, time bombs, bombs with remote detonation. She buys guns from underworld arms dealers using credit cards stolen from businessmen who try to grope her on the train. She breaks into JSDF bases and steals assault rifles and guided missiles. Under the bridge she stops time and shoots targets for hours, memorizing the feeling until holding a gun is as natural to her as holding a pencil.
She tests the limits of her body, learning how much weight it takes to break her bones, how quickly they can heal under optimal circumstances. She takes First Aid classes at the rec centre and keeps a kit in her shield. She trains herself in running and jumping until she has reached the peak physical fitness possible for a fourteen-year-old girl. Then she keeps going, knowing she has to surpass herself if she ever stands a chance of defeating Walpurgis Night alone. She gets over her initial fear of her unliving body. Instead, she becomes proud of its ability to deflect pain. No matter how many times she is struck or stabbed or thrown to the ground, it rises one more time, ready to keep her alive to complete her wish.
She learns that it is easy to kill for love.
She learns that violence is not wrong. Love is violent. Love has pierced her heart like a bullet, or an arrow, and lodged itself inside her. It hurts, but that pain suffuses her body with the hope she needs. Just looking at Madoka is enough to reignite that pain and keep her fighting another day.
She wishes sometimes that she could stop time forever and keep Madoka safe that way, enclosed in a world that never moves or changes. But she knows she never will. Madoka is meant to be in motion: smiling, laughing with her friends, sneezing when she has a cold, pulling down the hem of her skirt while she walks. Free. Living.
She has all the time in the world. But sometimes in the darkness, she wonders if it will ever be enough.