SERIOUSLY? We Actually Need to Say This?
Dear fellow Game Masters, especially* those of the male persuasion:
RAPE IS NOT YOUR PLOT DEVICE.
No matter how edgy, cool or hardcore you may think you are, there are places in a game you really should not go - most especially without the prior consent of your players. Sexual assault is one of them.
While there may be exceptions made with the explicit consent and involvement of your players**, the concept of inflicting forced sex on a character - especially a player character - is just not acceptable.
Yes, rape happens. Yes, it's real. Yes, it's a Big-Time Dark Side Adult Taboo For Seriuz Gamerz to Ponderr-TM-comma-dammit, and yeah, it happens all the time in movies, stories, myths and TV shows. It's genre. It's period. It's topical.
It's triggering.
And roleplaying games are interactive entertainment.
Please remember those last two words:
Interactive.
Entertainment.
Entertainment means the experience must be enjoyable. No joy, no entertainment.
Interactive means that all participants are part of the creative process... and the process becomes part of them.
Unlike movies, TV and books, a roleplaying game involves the active interaction of its "audience." Not only does an RPG depend on the willing participation of all parties, it also creates - and this part's important to remember - a more intense level of identification with the characters.
In an RPG, the character is a proxy for the player, one often invested with a fair amount of emotional connection. And to a degree, that makes the character an extension of that player.
It's often said that imagination creates a certain level of reality. By envisioning something, and investing it with time and effort, you imbue a certain amount of psychic energy into making that thing real. Although it might not exist in a physical form, that creation manifests a certain mental and emotional reality. That's why a really good gaming session feels so gratifying... and why a really bad one can feel so painful. To some extent, imaginary characters with real-world investment assume multidimensional vitality. In short, what happens in our heads affects how we feel in general. This is both the best and worst element in roleplaying games, and as a gamer and game-designer with over three decades of experience in that medium, I recognize and respect that power.
So, guys - when your neato-keeno-so-edgy-you-can't-stand-yourself plot involves subjecting a player's character to sexual violation - most especially when that player is female - you are, in several sense of the word, subjecting that player to violation as well.
Not.
Cool.
Period.
Especially because so many people, male and female (but usually female) have been raped, molested, harassed or threatened with one or more of the above, the very idea of rape in a fantasy context triggers real pain and horror. "But it's just a game" does not shelter the feelings or soothe the trauma of the gamer who was raped by her brother, molested by his babysitter, pinned down and fucked bleeding by a pack of football players in high school. And because most of us have no idea what violations our friends may have endured, we have no damn business risking their feelings for our fun. Sure, life is cheap in fantasy games... but few, if any, of us shatter inside at the thought of being gutted by an orc.
It's not the same thing at all.
Yes, there are times, places and situations that call for challenging topics. Certain games and scenarios explore the harsher side of life more than others do. Certain gamers are willing to be triggered, willing to risk being hurt, willing to go into those awful places where real-life trauma sizzles through imaginary settings, triggering not only pain but catharsis as well. That's their call, not yours.
When it comes to something as potent, pervasive and violating as rape, you must be really goddamned certain that your players consent to those explorations first. If you're not sure about it, don't go there.
And by all that's holy, don't argue with a player who feels traumatized by your storyline. Apologize, fix things, undo what you can, move on, and learn from the experience.
A good RPG demands trust - a safe container where people can explore their fantasies.
It's kinda like sex that way.
As you would with sex, respect that trust.
Don't wreck that trust, your game, or your players for the sake of a plot point.
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* - ...but not exclusively...
** - We're not even dealing with BDSM rape fantasies here. Although there's certainly an element of roleplaying involved with them, that topic is wayyyyy too complex and triggery to explore in this post.