I've long ago learned to forgive myself for the past, I even loved myself for it, I was not like my parents. I was better than them, because I knew better. Because I made the right choices despite the consequences for myself, because the choices I made helped other people. I can't say that anymore. It's the now I can't forgive myself for, and how am I supposed to have a future if I'm so ashamed of who I am right now? I broke free of my conditioning, I know better, and I do these horrible things anyway. This time I have no excuse. I can't say I thought it was normal that parents hit their kids. I can't say I thought all the yelling was normal, because I know it isn't now. I know better
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