Bandwagon, ho!
Meet one of the new teachers, Yzma from the Disney movie The Emperor's New Groove. She's awesome. Trust me.
Emperor's New what now?
Disney, having problems making another Epic Film with a Moral (which they were going to call "Kingdom of the Sun" and rip off the Prince and the Pauper), gave up and decided to go with the other classic story: bratty emperor gets turned into llama and has a buddy comedy adventure with a peasant.
…you mean that's not a classic archetype? Huh.
Anyway, Kuzco, a bratty emperor of an Inca-like nation, decides that for his 18th birthday, he would built himself a summer palace-modestly named Kuzcotopia-over a village that just happened to be located where our Noble Peasant Pacha lives. Pacha, naturally has a problem with that, but Kuzco doesn't care, and blows him off to go grab dinner with his recently canned adviser Yzma and her dumb but good-looking aide Kronk.
Yzma, surprisingly, had rather liked being in charge and wasn't taking being let go terribly well. She plans to poison Kuzco at dinner, but Kronk mixes up the poison with the essence of llama (as you do) and then couldn't bring himself to kill the poor guy (can't really blame him). He drops Llama!Kuzco off of a ledge, where he ends up in the back of Pacha's cart and heads back towards Pacha's village.
…This movie is crack and pretending it has a plot is kind of pointless. Basically what follows is an hour-long chase scene as Pacha and Kuzco try to get back to the palace and Yzma and Kronk try to catch and kill them. This involves cross-dressing, secret labs, almost getting eaten by jaguars, and getting changed into many, many animals.
Bored now. Tell me about Yzma
Yzma is an over-the-top Disney villain drama queen. She's very, very old, tries to rule the world, had a secret lab and wanted to kill off Kuzco. She's awesome. She's also a cougar (the older woman man-chasing version, not the animal. In this movie it's important to specify) and cycles through good-looking, if slightly dim, young men. This year's model was called Kronk. She likes running things-a classroom will be a little small for her taste, but it's better than being a kitten (what she ended the movie as), so she'll take it.
She's coming in after the first movie (I'm not planning on acknowledging anything from the direct-to-video drivel) and has managed after a lot of trial and error (not having thumbs is a bitch), to turn back into her beautiful (beauty in the eyes of the beholder, naturally) self.
She thinks she's here to learn to take over the world again. She's actually here to teach management theory.
That segues beautifully into talking about her classes. So...
Yzma's classes will take place in the Danger Room because you will be going into her Secret Lab! Secret Lab? You ask. Go here. I'll wait.
So everyone will be arriving to class via roller coaster, you will be wearing lab coats and awesome glasses, and there will be an extraneous lever where you can mod an alligator trying to eat you.
Management class will be a little different, yes. The syllabus will be up in another post shortly.
Questions?
Emperor's New what now?
Disney, having problems making another Epic Film with a Moral (which they were going to call "Kingdom of the Sun" and rip off the Prince and the Pauper), gave up and decided to go with the other classic story: bratty emperor gets turned into llama and has a buddy comedy adventure with a peasant.
…you mean that's not a classic archetype? Huh.
Anyway, Kuzco, a bratty emperor of an Inca-like nation, decides that for his 18th birthday, he would built himself a summer palace-modestly named Kuzcotopia-over a village that just happened to be located where our Noble Peasant Pacha lives. Pacha, naturally has a problem with that, but Kuzco doesn't care, and blows him off to go grab dinner with his recently canned adviser Yzma and her dumb but good-looking aide Kronk.
Yzma, surprisingly, had rather liked being in charge and wasn't taking being let go terribly well. She plans to poison Kuzco at dinner, but Kronk mixes up the poison with the essence of llama (as you do) and then couldn't bring himself to kill the poor guy (can't really blame him). He drops Llama!Kuzco off of a ledge, where he ends up in the back of Pacha's cart and heads back towards Pacha's village.
…This movie is crack and pretending it has a plot is kind of pointless. Basically what follows is an hour-long chase scene as Pacha and Kuzco try to get back to the palace and Yzma and Kronk try to catch and kill them. This involves cross-dressing, secret labs, almost getting eaten by jaguars, and getting changed into many, many animals.
Bored now. Tell me about Yzma
Yzma is an over-the-top Disney villain drama queen. She's very, very old, tries to rule the world, had a secret lab and wanted to kill off Kuzco. She's awesome. She's also a cougar (the older woman man-chasing version, not the animal. In this movie it's important to specify) and cycles through good-looking, if slightly dim, young men. This year's model was called Kronk. She likes running things-a classroom will be a little small for her taste, but it's better than being a kitten (what she ended the movie as), so she'll take it.
She's coming in after the first movie (I'm not planning on acknowledging anything from the direct-to-video drivel) and has managed after a lot of trial and error (not having thumbs is a bitch), to turn back into her beautiful (beauty in the eyes of the beholder, naturally) self.
She thinks she's here to learn to take over the world again. She's actually here to teach management theory.
That segues beautifully into talking about her classes. So...
Yzma's classes will take place in the Danger Room because you will be going into her Secret Lab! Secret Lab? You ask. Go here. I'll wait.
So everyone will be arriving to class via roller coaster, you will be wearing lab coats and awesome glasses, and there will be an extraneous lever where you can mod an alligator trying to eat you.
Management class will be a little different, yes. The syllabus will be up in another post shortly.
Questions?