Comments | saveyourself_21: (без темы)

saveyourself_21

(Untitled)

Jul 31, 2009 03:32

“I don’t think we need to go any further” she said ( Read more... )

Comments 4

tifroc August 1 2009, 20:50:19 UTC

You go in and out of present and past tense. Is it on purpose? If so, there may be a way to clean it up, but I'm not very good at doing that.

saveyourself_21 August 2 2009, 04:00:29 UTC

In this piece, generally when I talk about her its present (except with the things she says) and I am in past tense.

d15k0zach August 2 2009, 15:24:43 UTC

I liked this. I was really sweet and transient. Only issue I noticed was time.
kitchen in the morning. -> 4 hours pass. -> sunset.
Kind of a short day lol. But I liked this muchly.

saveyourself_21 August 2 2009, 19:49:10 UTC

I feel you <3 I kinda meant like 2ish for the morning. Haha, because you know, they're college kids, and they wake up late. But I feel you.