Comments | saxshackdan: on growing up

saxshackdan

on growing up

Feb 02, 2007 21:20

I had been planning to come home this weekend for a while now. My main reason, as simple as it might be, was that I wanted to go to Morongo and play some poker, seeing that online poker has ground to a halt and UCLA hasn't had a game for a while. And it isn't that I DON'T want to go home otherwise. It's just ridiculous to come home and have Mom act ( Read more... )

Comments 7

violist_boy February 3 2007, 19:38:07 UTC

I'm not saying I agree with your mom, but maybe you need to wait a little bit longer before you try to completely break away. Her first-born son has moved away to college, even if it's only an hour away, so she's naturally going to be freaking out about little things. My mom was the same way before I moved out. She was much harder on me than usual, picking on little things that I didn't see any significance to.

Also, referring back to a previous post you made about your mom being a control freak, it does seem like she's trying to exercise her last area of control over you: money. Don't let it get to you. In time, you'll have enough money to get an apartment and a car, like you want. All you need is time for now. Hang in there :)

saxshackdan February 3 2007, 23:17:16 UTC

Yeah, I know I can't break away right now. It's just that sometimes, you know, that's all I want to do.

And I agree with you. She's definitely afraid of losing control.

thisgirlsnotazn February 4 2007, 08:41:28 UTC

All parents are like that. When I go home I have to be home by midnight too which is SILLY since here sometimes I don't get in til 3 or 4 in the morning...

and yes, my parents use money to control me too. but they've been cooler about stuff since now i call home more and whatnot...

and if it's any consolation (probably not) i don't have car insurance and have to bum rides from people when i go home.

theophilus February 5 2007, 06:50:53 UTC

Dudesie,

When you pays for things, you does your things. Until that moment, you're still a kid. And take advantage of it while you can.

saxshackdan February 5 2007, 07:52:23 UTC

Dudesie right back.

But here's the thing. I'm actually paying for my own college education. Housing, tuition, everything. Mom can't spare the cash to help out. I had to take out a bizzatch load of student loans to cover it, and winning poker money doesn't hurt either. So basically, I am supporting myself.

I just wanted to sleep in my mom's house for one night. And apparently that means I'm not an adult.

sunflowergurl88 February 5 2007, 23:13:38 UTC

What it means is that you are using your mom. Sorry, and I hate to say this, but you go home to play poker, and that's it. You expect your mom to pay for the car, to allow you to sleep there and give you food, when you don't show her the least amount of appreciation (at least from what I saw in that phone conversation). And that's what growing up is about. It's about saying "thanks mom I really do like seeing you and I love my family and that's why I'm grateful to stay in this house." You think she's trying to control you- that you are blameless in this, when it could all be fixed by you apologizing and telling her that you appreciate what she's done. That's what I've learned at least. She doesn't care about the money, or the gas. She cares about you showing her a little bit of respect and appreciation when you come home, because she loves you ( ... )

saxshackdan February 6 2007, 03:04:32 UTC

I'm not sure if you were even looking for a response, but here goes.

If there's one thing that is definitely true, it's that I'm not using my mom. I don't expect her to pay for the car--as I've said, I'm paying for my own insurance and gas. I don't expect her to allow me to sleep there.

And how dare you say that I don't show her appreciation? Where did you draw that conclusion...from a phone conversation I typed out in a hurry, or from all those times you've seen me and my mom talk, which would be, hmm, I don't know, never? Honestly...where do you get off?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think most people who actually know me will back me up here. I love my mom, and I've always appreciated all the sacrifices she's made for me, and all the things she continues to do for me.

And as for that second paragraph of yours, I can all but see the condescension dripping off the screen. Thanks for the advice, but no thanks.