(Untitled)

[sayers_mcgrath]

i ended up storming out of chrissys last night, and walkin around new york till all times in the night. i woke up awhile ago, outside no less on a park bench and right now im confused as hell on a lot of things. i guess running outside in just a hoodie, and staying all night wont do much for you cold wise, for now i keep shaking, having hot and

Comments

[nikaone]

Hope you feel better, babe.

[sayers_mcgrath]

yeah thanks. i think im okay now, after my intial freak out

[xspiderx]

First of all, my discussion with Chrissy last night was about my feelings. How I was dealing with shit.

Secondly, I took Amanda up on her offer to stay at her apt while she was in Miami cause I was thinking of you. I assumed you went back to hotel and wanting your space. Had I have known you were sleeping on a bench I would have been looking for you.

I've been trying to call your cell all day cause I know you must be sick as fuck. I just hope you get this message and call me.

[sayers_mcgrath]

okay so i jumped to conclusions, i dont know why i freaked out like i did.. i am just so used to having everything turn to shit.. i dont know how to feel about things, i keep thinking im going to be fucked over again.. i cant help it.. i wish i could i wish i could trust, and control myself before jumping at shit.. but i cant, ive been fucked over so many times. im just waiting for the next person to do it now..

and yeah that was me being an asshole ignore that comment.. i dont know why i cared, maybe it was jealousy, i dont know, maybe it was me being stupid, dont ask me, and the bench did me some good anyways, minus the cold, got me to thinking things throughly, i guess cold air will do that to you

ive had my cell off all day, cause ive been trying to run.. ill call you soon, i think i dont know.. im alright, besides being high on a cough syrup overdose. im fine.. ill talk to you later.. sorry for everything .. *shrugs*

[xspiderx]

Don't be sorry. Just call me. My cell is on and I am waiting for you.

[c__ricci]

mark, please don't do this to yourself. staying out like that in the cold is not going to help. and please don't be angry with him. he told me he loves you and that you love him. and that neither of you can help how you feel. be mad at me if you need to be angry at someone. i'm useless for not being able to let go.

i miss my hat , cause it kept my head warm

i'm sorry. i'll give it back.

[sayers_mcgrath]

i dont want to be mad at anyone.. im not mad at him, im not mad at you, im not mad at anyone, but myself really for jumping too quick, cause of the mistrust i put in my head *shrugs* im sorry for acting like i did, it was out of line.. completely.. im so sorry..and i dont care about the hat, i was just being whiney.. i know you took it as a joke.. i was kidding around.. i can always get a new hat its not that hard. youd think with all the money i have id be able to afford a new one *laughs a bit* i was just trying to give you a tough time about it.. and yeah im sorry again