By Your Side - [Oneshot]
Title: By Your Side
Length: One-shot
Author: sayhell
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Yunjae
Genre: Mild angst, slight fluff (neither here nor there)
Summary: During times like this, Yunho will always be there for Jaejoong to lean on.
Under the cotton covers, Yunho laid on his side, his eyes wide open, facing the clock on the end table. It was 3.15 in the morning, the luminous red digital figures denoted. Sleep was beyond him. He had been immobile for 45 minutes now, the arm he had pillowed under his head going number with every ticking second.
The bed beside him was devoid of its owner but he could still catch whiffs of musk scent which suggested Jaejoong’s presence. It was the pillow, not Jaejoong. He wondered if the smell would dissipate the next minute, only to realize that the smell was emblazoned somewhere in his mind, beckoned forward when he missed Jaejoong too much.
It was one of those nights where Jaejoong was out, seeking men who looked like Siwon. He had never really gotten over Siwon after their breakup. It was his first relationship and he had given his whole, only to get his heart mercilessly crushed. He fell apart and it took him eight months to recuperate.
However, in Yunho’s opinion, Jaejoong never healed.
If he had healed, he wouldn’t drown himself in alcohol. If he had healed, he wouldn’t be so deluded to think that every man who fucked him was Siwon. If he had healed, he wouldn’t seek comfort in this falsity.
If he had healed, he would have noticed that Yunho standing by him all along. If he had healed, he would have known that Yunho was more than a friend; he would have known that Yunho loved him.
The jangle of keys broke the stillness of the night. The front door creaked open, reminding Yunho that he had forgotten to oil the hinges. He heard shoes being thrown carelessly to a corner and then he heard the lethargic dragging of feet. Eventually, the door to their room opened.
He felt a drift of air when Jaejoong peeled his covers away and instead of going to his own bed, Jaejoong crept into the space beside him. That wasn’t unexpected; it was either the effect of alcohol or because he needed Yunho. Yunho preferred to believe in the latter. That was why he had slept on his side in the first place.
Within minutes, Jaejoong’s breath levelled off into sleep. Yunho felt a tug at the corners of his lips when he heard Jaejoong’s soft snore. The heart which had contracted in worry had now relaxed. Sleep had begun slipping back into his nerves.
A breeze threaded into the room through the opened windows and Yunho felt the man beside him shiver.
“Cold…” Jaejoong mumbled, edging closer to Yunho in his sleep. He wrapped his arms over Yunho’s waist and huddled even closer, greedy for warmth. Yunho could feel the solid weight of Jaejoong nestled against his longer frame. Through the thin cotton fabric of his nightshirt, he could feel the warmth of Jaejoong’s cheek pressing against his back.
Slowly and gently, Yunho shifted, turning so that he now faced Jaejoong. He wrapped his arms protectively around Jaejoong’s waist and pulled him closer. It was only moments like this that he could have Jaejoong all to himself and claim Jaejoong as his.
Blades of moonlight thrust through the torn fabric of the cloud-dishevelled sky and illuminated Jaejoong’s perfect features. With the tips of his fingers, he caressed Jaejoong’s brows, eyes and nose, eventually stopping at his lips. He leaned in and Jaejoong’s breath ghosted over his lips, a concoction of mint, whisky and honey. It left him feeling intoxicated.
Lightly, he pressed his lips against Jaejoong’s colder ones and savoured the moment. This wasn’t something he had the courage to do when Jaejoong was awake. It wasn’t a territory he was ready to barge. It was a simple kiss, yet it harboured feelings much more intense. He pulled away seconds later, ignoring his craving for more.
He let his gaze slide down to Jaejoong’s collarbone. It was then did he notice the dark purple bruise which stood out in stark contrast against Jaejoong’s milky skin. It was a love bite, a token of Jaejoong’s hunt tonight. He brushed the bruise with his thumb, earning a whimper from Jaejoong.
“What do I do with you?” Yunho whispered through a defeated sigh. Although Jaejoong’s sexual intercourses with other men were consensual, Yunho knew that Jaejoong didn’t enjoy it, no matter how much he tried to psyche himself.
“It hurts…” Jaejoong mumbled in his sleep, his slender brows knitted tightly in discomfort. Ever since the episode with Siwon, Jaejoong had developed an increasing frequency of nightmares. There were nights where he would wake up, crying Siwon’s name.
“It hurts so much…” Jaejoong mumbled again. Tears were collecting on the slits of his eyes and Yunho brushed them away before they could fall. Yunho held the shaking body tighter, heartache a palpable link between them.
“It’s okay. It’s okay Jae,” Yunho repeated under his breath. He ran his hand up and down Jaejoong’s back, soothing the smaller man. “It’s okay Jae, I’m here. I always am.”
It wasn’t the hot-headed, pretty and stubborn Jaejoong he fell in love with. It was the vulnerable Jaejoong.
Gradually, Jaejoong’s sobs subsided, his countenance returned to a peaceful one and his breathing became even once again. Yunho took pride in his own ability to placate Jaejoong and quell his fears. It was a thing he did best.
He had only a little more than an hour for sleep before he had to get up for work. He would be tired, but he could still smile, just because Jaejoong was in his arms, soundly asleep, a result of his effort.
Suddenly, it didn’t matter to him that Jaejoong didn’t know of his feelings for him, simply because Jaejoong had allowed him to stay by his side.
It didn’t matter to him that Jaejoong treated him like a friend, simply because he was a pillar of support which Jaejoong couldn’t do without. Jaejoong hadn’t realized this fact.
And it didn’t matter to him that Jaejoong spent time with his flings late into the night, simply because he was Jung Yunho, the reason why Kim Jaejoong would always come home.
And that alone, was enough.
END
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A/N: This idea has been bugging me for long and while I was trying to sleep last night. In the end I didn’t manage to get much sleep. I realise that I like writing a Yunho who loves Jaejoong wholeheartedly. =)