[2/10/09] i wish i may, i wish i might
Title: i wish i may, i wish i might
Fandom: Johnny's Juniors (Johnny's Entertainment)
Characters: Yamamoto Ryota, MAD, Butoukan
Prompt: je_prompts - Think
Rating: G
Word Count: 1233
A/N: Idk. This still feels really short, even if I broke 1k (and it's not au fic! 8D). But, I promise, next thing I write will not have sadface!Yamamoto.
Beta'd by hanabi94 of course. If you find any other errors, blame her (and then tell me ♥).
Yamamoto supposes, as an idol (undebuted, but technically an idol none the less), his life is very un-idol like. If he doesn't show up when required, it's no big deal. MAD are plentiful. His absence is easily covered up. Miss a Butoukan performance? No problem. They've done performances without Tsukada, Senga, or Hamanaka before. He surely wouldn't be missed. Therefore, he just doesn't feel the rush that the top juniors do, doesn't know what it's like not to have time to think.
He does a lot of it, actually. Thinking, that is. He thinks about anything that catches his fancy. Admittedly, his mind is mostly occupied with one thing - dance.
Dancing, he loves it. He loves the feeling that comes with it. He isn’t sure exactly what to call that feeling, but it bubbles through him - a bit like those giggles that threatened to spill out when Senga first tried out his Michael Jackson impersonation. He likes it - the dancing, not the MJ thing. When he isn’t dancing, he is a bundle of nerves, finds it impossible to hold still. (Though, he’s pretty certain he’s the only one that’s noticed.)
Sometimes he thinks about work - which may as well count as thinking about dance. As a junior, he can dance to his heart's content (while being paid - a plus). But, as a junior, his future is uncertain. At a whim, the units he belongs to could all be broken apart, and he could disappear into junior anonymity.
He knows it’s unlikely that anyone would call for MAD to be dissolved. Unlikely, but not impossible. Hey!Say!JUMP serves as a reminder of that. In a day, he could lose nothing at all. Then again, in a day, he could lose everything he’s worked for thus far. The idea’s only hit him just recently, but it terrifies him all the same.
MAD end their rehearsal with high tensions. Kawamura casually pops his neck as Kato stretches himself out on the floor while Takeuchi dabs at his face with his towel.
Kawamura looks down and nudges Kato with his foot. "Remember to take all your stuff back with you. Wouldn't want to forget your passport again."
"Shut up. I don't have my passport with me." Kato retorts as he props himself up on his elbows.
Kawamura fakes a gasp and prods him again, childishly. "You lost it already? We haven't even gone anywhere yet!"
He doesn't get a chance to continue his teasing, because, before he knows it, a towel lands on his face. He screeches. "That's so gross, Takeuchi!" Takeuchi just gives a big, toothy smile.
Yamamoto chews on his bottom lip and doesn't join in. He hates to think that he could lose this. A possibility is a possibility. He knows he should stop thinking about this by chance he just might jinx everything, but the more he tells himself to stop, the more it plagues him.
As soon as he has all his things, he slings his bag over his shoulder and heads for the door. Before he leaves, he throws a peace sign accompanied with an exaggerated wink, says a quick "Bye bye~", and he's out.
He doesn't notice the concerned look on Takeuchi's face as he watches him leave.
His mind is still preoccupied with thoughts of all the possibilities for weeks until one Butoukan rehearsal. He’s reminded himself time and time again that his uncertainties aren’t anything substantial, but this hasn’t doused his qualms. If anything, he feels his doubts weigh down on him even more so than they originally had.
He’s found out long ago that he is easily agitated when his mind is preoccupied. So, when Senga says one stupid comment too many, he, uncharacteristically, snaps. Yamamoto vaguely recalls telling Senga of how annoying he is and to shut up among other things. He isn’t really aware of what he says, he just says it.
Senga gives him an injured look, a real one. It’s different from the usual exaggerated ones that he utilizes to up his cuteness or gain sympathy. Yamamoto doesn’t like it. He feels guilty, but there is still the matter of his pride as well. He doesn’t want to admit he is wrong, so he storms out and heads for the first place he can think of, the roof. He's seen it in dramas before; it is the cliche, after all.
Of course, the cliche also says that, usually, there will be someone to follow him out, so he stretches out on the floor, arms haphazardly thrown out to the side, and waits. Just as expected, Hamanaka appears at his side not too long afterwards. Honestly, Yamamoto is surprised. He had been expecting Tsukada.
He sits by Yamamoto's side, and they stare upwards, towards the sky, together. Then, not even a minute has passed before Hamanaka stands again, brushing away dirt on the seat of his pants, and declares that practice is about to start. Yamamoto can only wonder why he even bothered to sit down in the first place.
He weighs his options. He could either a) go back to practice or b) skip. He thinks about it for a second before quickly falling into step behind Hamanaka (and not latching onto his left arm, no matter what Hamanaka says). He’d rather deal with Senga now and not Yara later.
Yamamoto lets Hamanaka lead the way and uses him for cover when they arrive back at the rehearsal room. His plan fails when Hamanaka walks towards where Senga and Yara are holding a conversation and not away. There is nothing left for him to do but flail in Hamanaka’s general direction until Tsukada flags him down.
Tsukada gives him a sheepish grin. “Don’t be too mad at Senga.” he starts, “You’ve been a bit off lately, and he was just trying to make you feel better.”
Tsukada had just effectively made him feel worse about himself. He chances a glance in Senga’s direction. He catches Yara openly berating Senga for not paying any attention to him, the leader. Senga loudly proclaims that he is so paying attention to Yaracchi, though he obviously is not. His eyes aren’t on Yara but are, instead, staring straight at Yamamoto.
Yara, who does not appreciate not being the center of attention, calls for practice to start. Hamanaka and Tsukada move into position, and Yamamoto and Senga are left to stare at each other. Tsukada nudges him as he passes which knocks him out of his trance-like state. When he peeks back at Senga, he is still intently looking at him. To that, Yamamoto offers an apologetic smile and a nod to say something along the lines of “My bad.” Senga’s face lights up like the Fourth of July, his smile radiant enough to blind.
Yara calls their attention back to practice by purposely dropping the canes they use for c=normal, effectively startling both Senga and Yamamoto (who may or may not have jumped). They scramble into position before Yara decides to dish out punishment.
Yamamoto’s fears aren’t realized nor are they squashed, but he’s stopped dwelling on them… as much. He comes across the thought every now and then. Though, he decides to live in the here and now. He’s here, now, as a member of MAD, of Butoukan, as a Johnny’s Junior, and he’s going to milk it for all its worth.
Fandom: Johnny's Juniors (Johnny's Entertainment)
Characters: Yamamoto Ryota, MAD, Butoukan
Prompt: je_prompts - Think
Rating: G
Word Count: 1233
A/N: Idk. This still feels really short, even if I broke 1k (and it's not au fic! 8D). But, I promise, next thing I write will not have sadface!Yamamoto.
Beta'd by hanabi94 of course. If you find any other errors, blame her (and then tell me ♥).
Yamamoto supposes, as an idol (undebuted, but technically an idol none the less), his life is very un-idol like. If he doesn't show up when required, it's no big deal. MAD are plentiful. His absence is easily covered up. Miss a Butoukan performance? No problem. They've done performances without Tsukada, Senga, or Hamanaka before. He surely wouldn't be missed. Therefore, he just doesn't feel the rush that the top juniors do, doesn't know what it's like not to have time to think.
He does a lot of it, actually. Thinking, that is. He thinks about anything that catches his fancy. Admittedly, his mind is mostly occupied with one thing - dance.
Dancing, he loves it. He loves the feeling that comes with it. He isn’t sure exactly what to call that feeling, but it bubbles through him - a bit like those giggles that threatened to spill out when Senga first tried out his Michael Jackson impersonation. He likes it - the dancing, not the MJ thing. When he isn’t dancing, he is a bundle of nerves, finds it impossible to hold still. (Though, he’s pretty certain he’s the only one that’s noticed.)
Sometimes he thinks about work - which may as well count as thinking about dance. As a junior, he can dance to his heart's content (while being paid - a plus). But, as a junior, his future is uncertain. At a whim, the units he belongs to could all be broken apart, and he could disappear into junior anonymity.
He knows it’s unlikely that anyone would call for MAD to be dissolved. Unlikely, but not impossible. Hey!Say!JUMP serves as a reminder of that. In a day, he could lose nothing at all. Then again, in a day, he could lose everything he’s worked for thus far. The idea’s only hit him just recently, but it terrifies him all the same.
MAD end their rehearsal with high tensions. Kawamura casually pops his neck as Kato stretches himself out on the floor while Takeuchi dabs at his face with his towel.
Kawamura looks down and nudges Kato with his foot. "Remember to take all your stuff back with you. Wouldn't want to forget your passport again."
"Shut up. I don't have my passport with me." Kato retorts as he props himself up on his elbows.
Kawamura fakes a gasp and prods him again, childishly. "You lost it already? We haven't even gone anywhere yet!"
He doesn't get a chance to continue his teasing, because, before he knows it, a towel lands on his face. He screeches. "That's so gross, Takeuchi!" Takeuchi just gives a big, toothy smile.
Yamamoto chews on his bottom lip and doesn't join in. He hates to think that he could lose this. A possibility is a possibility. He knows he should stop thinking about this by chance he just might jinx everything, but the more he tells himself to stop, the more it plagues him.
As soon as he has all his things, he slings his bag over his shoulder and heads for the door. Before he leaves, he throws a peace sign accompanied with an exaggerated wink, says a quick "Bye bye~", and he's out.
He doesn't notice the concerned look on Takeuchi's face as he watches him leave.
His mind is still preoccupied with thoughts of all the possibilities for weeks until one Butoukan rehearsal. He’s reminded himself time and time again that his uncertainties aren’t anything substantial, but this hasn’t doused his qualms. If anything, he feels his doubts weigh down on him even more so than they originally had.
He’s found out long ago that he is easily agitated when his mind is preoccupied. So, when Senga says one stupid comment too many, he, uncharacteristically, snaps. Yamamoto vaguely recalls telling Senga of how annoying he is and to shut up among other things. He isn’t really aware of what he says, he just says it.
Senga gives him an injured look, a real one. It’s different from the usual exaggerated ones that he utilizes to up his cuteness or gain sympathy. Yamamoto doesn’t like it. He feels guilty, but there is still the matter of his pride as well. He doesn’t want to admit he is wrong, so he storms out and heads for the first place he can think of, the roof. He's seen it in dramas before; it is the cliche, after all.
Of course, the cliche also says that, usually, there will be someone to follow him out, so he stretches out on the floor, arms haphazardly thrown out to the side, and waits. Just as expected, Hamanaka appears at his side not too long afterwards. Honestly, Yamamoto is surprised. He had been expecting Tsukada.
He sits by Yamamoto's side, and they stare upwards, towards the sky, together. Then, not even a minute has passed before Hamanaka stands again, brushing away dirt on the seat of his pants, and declares that practice is about to start. Yamamoto can only wonder why he even bothered to sit down in the first place.
He weighs his options. He could either a) go back to practice or b) skip. He thinks about it for a second before quickly falling into step behind Hamanaka (and not latching onto his left arm, no matter what Hamanaka says). He’d rather deal with Senga now and not Yara later.
Yamamoto lets Hamanaka lead the way and uses him for cover when they arrive back at the rehearsal room. His plan fails when Hamanaka walks towards where Senga and Yara are holding a conversation and not away. There is nothing left for him to do but flail in Hamanaka’s general direction until Tsukada flags him down.
Tsukada gives him a sheepish grin. “Don’t be too mad at Senga.” he starts, “You’ve been a bit off lately, and he was just trying to make you feel better.”
Tsukada had just effectively made him feel worse about himself. He chances a glance in Senga’s direction. He catches Yara openly berating Senga for not paying any attention to him, the leader. Senga loudly proclaims that he is so paying attention to Yaracchi, though he obviously is not. His eyes aren’t on Yara but are, instead, staring straight at Yamamoto.
Yara, who does not appreciate not being the center of attention, calls for practice to start. Hamanaka and Tsukada move into position, and Yamamoto and Senga are left to stare at each other. Tsukada nudges him as he passes which knocks him out of his trance-like state. When he peeks back at Senga, he is still intently looking at him. To that, Yamamoto offers an apologetic smile and a nod to say something along the lines of “My bad.” Senga’s face lights up like the Fourth of July, his smile radiant enough to blind.
Yara calls their attention back to practice by purposely dropping the canes they use for c=normal, effectively startling both Senga and Yamamoto (who may or may not have jumped). They scramble into position before Yara decides to dish out punishment.
Yamamoto’s fears aren’t realized nor are they squashed, but he’s stopped dwelling on them… as much. He comes across the thought every now and then. Though, he decides to live in the here and now. He’s here, now, as a member of MAD, of Butoukan, as a Johnny’s Junior, and he’s going to milk it for all its worth.