Japan: saywhatagain

saywhatagain

Japan

Jun 12, 2005 11:00

In March, 2005, Alec Painter and ChrisWade! embarked on an epic quest through the ancient and myserious land of Japan. This is their story.

Alec before takeoff. That Japanese boy behind fell asleep and tried to nuzzle into Alec’s neck.

My in-flight meal (I had the Ham salad, as you can see)

The magic mirrors in Japan. No matter what we threw at it, that center panel REFUSED TO FOG. Amazing.

Our amazing center control consol FROM THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

Alec with our tour guide

Tokyo! That black pyramid thing is actually a brand new Buddhist temple.

My feet, suspended above the magnificent Tokyo Tower

Me with said tour guide.

Me in front of an Imperial guard tower. OOOoooooo!

Sega world headquarters!

Yes, you can all breath easy, they DO have Denny’s in Japan

A big ass lantern in front of an even bigger ass shrine.

A guardian deity doing what it does best… shrugging smugly.

God, this arcade was soooo shiney, we almost had seizures. This was also where we got delicious Japanese fried pastries that made alec and me both say “mmmm….bean curd.”

Me and my homie the guardian diety, flicking you mere mortal bugs out of our illustrious paths.

Alec in front of the aforementioned big ass shrine

A kick ass dragon painted over the purification well.

Me purifying myself at the purification well. It was very…pure.

Alec, chillin’ wit da Buddha.

Inside the shrine. Very bustling but oh so serene. Such is the way of the Orientals.

KOI! GREEDY FUCKIN’ KOI FISH!

Why are there no glorious public sculptures of Samurais in the states?

Alec, drinking a bottle of Sweat energy water and making an appropriate face.

This was taken at the combination truck stop/ bunny ranch.

Alec and his new buddy.

FOUND at the truck stop. This was seriously the only place we could find records by any of those J-rockers you guys love so much

The one stop Buddhist temple/Shinto shrine.

Oh oh, what’s he gonna do, it could be anything, what will it be….

AND DAMN! He goes for ringing the bell. And a powerful ring it is.

Alec, in front of what we could only assume to be the Shinto phallus of truth

I bet you’ve always wondered what these things were. These arches designate holy Shinto ground. Whenever you see one, you can be sure there is a Shinto shrine behind it.

A big pagoda in front of a teensy-weensy Alec.

The awesome gate into this ancient Shinto shrine.

Art.

Temple-brewed Buddhist whiskey. Even monks need to get shellacked every once in a while.

Me, singing in the rain at the bottom of this gigantic waterfall.

Alec running through the underground bunker tunnel.

Apparently this anime sculpture is Lord to millions of Japanese people.

Alec, after I told him that hot, sweaty, over crowded, poorly ventilated, foreign subway cars were my element.

The impossibly complicated Tokyo subway map. Enough to make any tourist cry. I know I did, I still do, just thinking about it. Oh god…

Captain Lear, in the Nissan control room

The same, now in a prototype BMW. It was a good day for Alec

This one goes out to Carter.

Our space toilet

Space toilet diagnostic test 1.

Look at the range on that thing!

The Japanese porno store. Found much the same way as the Pawn Shop:
Alec: Now all we need to do is find a porno store.
Me (immediately): There’s a porno store.

Alec…OR GACKT!?!?

Me with DISCOUNT ELECTRONICS AT LOW LOW PRICES!

Alec learning the ways of Pachinko- the Japanese art of ball-bearing gambling.

THE TYPING OF THE DEAD

Alec, grimacing somewhere in Tokyo

Me learning the ways of the Sumo- the Japanese art of fat naked wrestling.

SHIBUYA! This is where all the Japanese hipsters hang out.

ROCK POPS!

Alec, nursing a healthy video-roulette gambling addiction.

ChrisWade!- Lost in Shibuya

Alec Painter- Lost in Shibuya

One final view of Shibuya, the shiniest place on earth.

They have Ravens in Japan too.

(Alec is staring into a glass case)
Me: Alec, what are you looking at.
Alec: Dude…Bogwood.

THE BAT CAVE!

This man is a roadside fried squid vendor.

I sampled some of his wares.

Alec would have nothing to do with it.

Later, on the bus:
Alec: Dude….you smell like squid.

Mt. Fuji makes a rare appearance

NO FLASH TRIPOD!! NO HANDY PHONE!!

Alec in his bee sweater drinking that sweet, sweet Japanese/Scotish whiskey

Alec being bested by this mechanical strongman

Alec meditating on a mountain

Me meditating on a mountain

These were the best children’s toys ever.

Of course, jousting was the obvious course of action.

I Think I won.

Uhh….we’re still not quite sure what these are meant for.

Me practicing my swordsmanship on the beach.

I’m the king of the world!

Nap time for me and the giant owl.

The view from one of our hotel rooms.

A Bullet train, going hella fast, almost like some kind of… bullet…or something…

Mt. Fuji+Power lines and factories= art.

Something weird I ate at one point (it had eyes!)

The biggest all wood building…EVER!

And the gigantic Buddha it contained.

Okay, this hole is an exact replica of the size of the nostril of the Buddha in the previous picture. It is said that if you can pass through the Buddha’s nostril, you are guaranteed access to paradise. Usually this activity is meant for children. Here, we can see Alec passing through the Buddha’s nostril of paradise. Good for him.

Dude, you guys gotta try this chain…it’s soooo…goood.

Alec, becoming one with the deer.

I had put a cookie in his back pocket. Hilarity ensued.

Me with un chien Japoneses. Notice this is like the one really crappy picture. That is because Alec took it.

The endless alley of lanterns. Once a year, the monks light all of these. It must take like a million hours.

A tiny Japanese boy whose childlike wonderment reminded us of Carter. Unfortunately he was moving very fast in a dimly lit café, and we did not want to use flash for fear of spooking him.

Hey! I’ve seen this! I guess some things really do come from Japan!

Take careful notice of these rules, because in the next few pictures we break all of them. We are so punk rock.

Here we stared at the monkey.

Here is me showing the monkeys food.

And here is Alec feeding and touching them.

Grumpy time on Monkey Mountain pt. 1

Grumpy time on Monkey Mountain pt. 2

Soft Serve, pt.1
(Japanese people looooove soft serve ice cream. It was served everywhere, we saw like combination jewelry store/soft serve ice cream parlors, or funeral homes/soft serve ice cream parlors.)

Meet the Shini-sans! We had soo much dinner with their family!

My slipper provided by Shini-san hella did not fit.

Shini-san and his kickass stein.

Mrs. Beaumont(Slowly and Loudly): In America... two men marry two sisters…start big company…called Proctor and Gamble.
Shinis Daughter: OOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooO!!!

Shini-sans view of Kobe at night. Marvelous

We ended up at the grand hotel….in Kyoto!

Alec: I’m a classy lady! (bobs head)

Gardens at the Golden Pavilion.

Me, awkwardly standing near a cherry tree.

The Golden Pavilion. This was actually built in like 1950 after a monk accidently burnt the ancient one down. Things burn down a lot in Japan. But I’ll touch on this later.

Some phallic Buddhist thing or something.

Soft Serve, pt. 2
That’s green tea ice cream, in case you are wondering.

Big ups to Nathan, who apparently was here.

This Eurotrash piece of shit had the stupidest haircut ever. We stalked him and hated him.

The very non PC brands of breaks available in Japan.

The shrine in which Alec and I converted to Shintoism, the badassest religion ever.

Another temple/shrine complex. The Japanese are big in centrally locating their religious facilities, like a strip mall, except for Buddha and various nature spirits.

Geishas Sighting!

Soft Serve, pt 3.

Alec’s new wheels.

Life with Alec.

‘Something is afoot at the Circle K!’

Tea time at the grand hotel.

Me, enjoying some delicious green tea cheese cake.

Alec: Chris, can you open this without putting it in your mouth?
I obliged.

Alec’s mom kept INSISTING that this was the Imperial Palace of Kyoto
Alec: Maybe if the palace was built in late fifties steel and brick construction designs, then yes Bettye, that could be the palace.

No Bettye, THIS is the Imperial Palace.

I HATED THIS PALACE! IT BURNED DOWN SO MANY FUCKING TIMES! I WAS SOO UNHAPPY!

Seriously, this palace burned down like 50 times. One of the sentences from the brochure was “between the years 1200 and 1300, the palace often burnt down…” I think this building burnt down and was rebuilt in like 1963. My house is that old!