I'm not sure if the tense are right. feel free to critisize (just don't be too harsh) I don't think i'm very good at the whole writing thing but I've been giving it a go and could use help/tips/suggestions, on the other hand if you do like it, tell me why coz I can bear it in mind for the future. thanks, sblomie-girl
I like the idea, but I do see a lot of places that could use some smoothing. Your tenses, like you mentioned, need to be changed around a bit (it seems awkward to have the first two sections in present tense and the third in past), and I noticed a few word choice issues. Punctuation could be altered, as well.
(Of course, that's all the beta reader in me speaking. The normal reader, ignoring what I previously said, really likes the idea and wants to see more from you.)
you just confirmed my thoughts, one of them being never try to write when sleep deprived! and also that I really need a beta, a fact that I forgot to mention before. I really need one coz I've kinda been flying solo so far and i don't like it!
If you'd like, I would be willing to beta for you. (CSI is one of the fandoms I don't write in, but do beta for.) My email address is in my profile. *friends you*
thank you, you're a star! you'll prob receive something from me once I'm back from Germany. it's my bday tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, a little excited.... thank you again Sblom
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thanks,
sblomie-girl
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(Of course, that's all the beta reader in me speaking. The normal reader, ignoring what I previously said, really likes the idea and wants to see more from you.)
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Sblom
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