I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY!
Have you ever woken up and realized (or at least believed) that the sun was shining today just for you?
Greetings to whoever is out there and still cares. I hope it is lots of you because I have something to say.
I.
AM.
HAPPY.
And no this is not just a recent development.
OK. Remember that guy I mentioned. ALL the way back in November. Really it was like the last time I wrote.
Well, things are going better than ever. I haven't written or updated for awhile and there is a reason(s) for that which I will get to. BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
Remember how I said we both had self esteem issues. Well, a funny thing happened on Christmas.
We had gotten to talking, and he explained to me a few things which he had mentioned before. Like how despite the hardships we have faced, we are still as madly in love as ever. Had even one or two of the (serious) problems that occured happened with any other girl, he'd have been long gone. But he stays with me because he genuinely CARES. (That too is a new thing for him). Really, he said he loves me in a way he's never felt before. But then he sprung something new on me. He reminded me of how he always thought he was broken before. BEFORE.
That night he told me that he was once far FAR more broken that I could have ever been. And that night, he felt like a whole new person, loved, and lovable. He actually liked who he was and that was all achieved through me. If I was broken myself, then there couldn't possibly been any hope for him. But he was doing better than ever.
SO WHAT DID THAT SAY ABOUT ME???
*cue the silent tears*
Just like that someone flipped a switch in my soul. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt something I had forgotten existed. HAPPY. I felt LOVE. I felt JOY. Really, my chest was raging with heat, literally. (And I do mean literally, Ted). You know how in the Grinch, his heart grew three sizes in the end? Well on Christmas night, so did mine.
By the GODS I love this man.
And you know what? I love me too.
So yeah, I can now honestly say that Lura's little line about how it is impossible for two people to meet and then fix each other. Well, it's only half true. I don't even know if I was ever broken to begin with. I certainly felt that way. So did Mike. But if we were, we most definately fixed each other. But, I think it is more likely that we were never broken at all, only our images of ourselves were. And it was THAT which got fixed. So yeah, maybe not FIX each other. But DEFINATELY make each other better.
And it only took 3 months.
Seriously, my Doctors and Therapists have been trying to fix my "Give-A-Damn" for 5 years now with no result. Mike did it in 3 months. He claims it is because he actually cared. I call magic. I call some sort of weird soul voodoo that mystically made me care again.
Although it is far more likely that it was just the caring thing.
Now, on to the reason for no updates.
Well, the beau and I have been pretty much spending all our time together. So there would be no time for computer. Also, the good computer, Sylvia, died. Really, the hard drive ker-fucked. Bad boot sector. So I have had a large plastic paperweight stuck under my table for 3 months, while all I have is an antique pentium IIII dinosaur. No graphical capabilities at all. Trust me, I'd be making videos and stuff if I could. But I can't.
However, good news. Just bought a new computer from HP.Com. It's not going to be here till the end of the month though. But it is being built now. I am looking forward to being able to do my projects again.
*taps foot and waits for delivery*
You know patience never was my strong suit.
Anyway, yeah, so things are going great for the first time in about 10 years. I really hope that I can spend the rest of my life thanking my wonderful boyfriend for everything he has done for me. Although, you know what? I think I might have had a hand in it too. So good job to both of us.
Greetings to whoever is out there and still cares. I hope it is lots of you because I have something to say.
I.
AM.
HAPPY.
And no this is not just a recent development.
OK. Remember that guy I mentioned. ALL the way back in November. Really it was like the last time I wrote.
Well, things are going better than ever. I haven't written or updated for awhile and there is a reason(s) for that which I will get to. BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
Remember how I said we both had self esteem issues. Well, a funny thing happened on Christmas.
We had gotten to talking, and he explained to me a few things which he had mentioned before. Like how despite the hardships we have faced, we are still as madly in love as ever. Had even one or two of the (serious) problems that occured happened with any other girl, he'd have been long gone. But he stays with me because he genuinely CARES. (That too is a new thing for him). Really, he said he loves me in a way he's never felt before. But then he sprung something new on me. He reminded me of how he always thought he was broken before. BEFORE.
That night he told me that he was once far FAR more broken that I could have ever been. And that night, he felt like a whole new person, loved, and lovable. He actually liked who he was and that was all achieved through me. If I was broken myself, then there couldn't possibly been any hope for him. But he was doing better than ever.
SO WHAT DID THAT SAY ABOUT ME???
*cue the silent tears*
Just like that someone flipped a switch in my soul. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt something I had forgotten existed. HAPPY. I felt LOVE. I felt JOY. Really, my chest was raging with heat, literally. (And I do mean literally, Ted). You know how in the Grinch, his heart grew three sizes in the end? Well on Christmas night, so did mine.
By the GODS I love this man.
And you know what? I love me too.
So yeah, I can now honestly say that Lura's little line about how it is impossible for two people to meet and then fix each other. Well, it's only half true. I don't even know if I was ever broken to begin with. I certainly felt that way. So did Mike. But if we were, we most definately fixed each other. But, I think it is more likely that we were never broken at all, only our images of ourselves were. And it was THAT which got fixed. So yeah, maybe not FIX each other. But DEFINATELY make each other better.
And it only took 3 months.
Seriously, my Doctors and Therapists have been trying to fix my "Give-A-Damn" for 5 years now with no result. Mike did it in 3 months. He claims it is because he actually cared. I call magic. I call some sort of weird soul voodoo that mystically made me care again.
Although it is far more likely that it was just the caring thing.
Now, on to the reason for no updates.
Well, the beau and I have been pretty much spending all our time together. So there would be no time for computer. Also, the good computer, Sylvia, died. Really, the hard drive ker-fucked. Bad boot sector. So I have had a large plastic paperweight stuck under my table for 3 months, while all I have is an antique pentium IIII dinosaur. No graphical capabilities at all. Trust me, I'd be making videos and stuff if I could. But I can't.
However, good news. Just bought a new computer from HP.Com. It's not going to be here till the end of the month though. But it is being built now. I am looking forward to being able to do my projects again.
*taps foot and waits for delivery*
You know patience never was my strong suit.
Anyway, yeah, so things are going great for the first time in about 10 years. I really hope that I can spend the rest of my life thanking my wonderful boyfriend for everything he has done for me. Although, you know what? I think I might have had a hand in it too. So good job to both of us.