Numenorean Rhapsody
Filked this one up for a Bardic Tournament in August '05--won Best Song or Instrumental. It's a little long, but I don't know how to make an LJ cut yet. Oh well. Oh yeah, you'd better be pretty versatile and able to breathe in interesting ways if you want to sing it as a solo. And in this version, "Smeagol" is pronounced using 3 syllables, not 2.
NUMENOREAN RHAPSODY
(to the tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)
(Frodo) Is this my real life?
Is this high fantasy?
Caught in a nightmare...
(Sam) Full of Nazgul and Istari.
(Frodo) Look all around, see everyone's hunting me...
I'm just a hobbit, people make fun of me,
(Sam) 'Cause I'm (Frodo) Easy come, easy go, three feet high, furry toes,
Any way, my sword glows, doesn't really matter to me...
To me.
Bilbo, just left the Shire,
Don't know what's happened to me, since we met that guy in Bree,
Bilbo, they all want my Ring,
But NOW I've got to THROW it ALL AWWAAAYYY...
Samwise, oooOOOooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If Gandalf isn't back this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.
Farewell to Lorien,
Sang a dirge for Mithrandir, got attacked by Boromir,
Goodbye, everybody, now I've got to go,
Gotta TAKE the Ring to MORDOR BY MYSELFFF...
Samwise, oooOOOooo,
I don't want to die,
Some times I wish the Ring had never come to MEE!!
(air guitar by Gandalf)
(Sam) I see a little shadow crawling down a cliff,
(Frodo) It has eyes, it has eyes, maybe used to be a hobbit,
(Gollum) Yellow Face and White Face, very, very frightening me!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol! (Gollum) Gollum!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol! (Gollum) Gollum!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol, don't kill Sam! (Sam) Don't kill FroDO!!!
(Gollum) I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.
(Frodo) He's just a poor boy from a Stoor family,
He's been enslaved by this piece of jewelry.
(Gollum) Easy come, easy go. Will you let me go?
(Sam) You Slinker! NO! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) You Stinker! NO! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) You Slinker! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) Will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) Will not let you go! (Gollum) Let me GOO!!!
(Sam) No, no, no, no. (Frodo) What would Gandalf do?
(Gollum) Oh my precious, oh my Precious, OH MY PRECIOUS GIVE IT BACK!!!
(Frodo & Sam) Smeagol has a special trap in store for meee, for MEEE, for MEEEEEEE!!!!!
(dance)
(Frodo) So you think you can bite me and hang me to dry-ie?
So you think you can suck out my blood 'till I die-ie?!
OHHH Shelob, can't do this to me Shelob,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here.
(Frodo & Sam) Ooooooooooo, Mount Doom, Mount Doom,
(Frodo) Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters....
Nothing really matters to me.
NUMENOREAN RHAPSODY
(to the tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)
(Frodo) Is this my real life?
Is this high fantasy?
Caught in a nightmare...
(Sam) Full of Nazgul and Istari.
(Frodo) Look all around, see everyone's hunting me...
I'm just a hobbit, people make fun of me,
(Sam) 'Cause I'm (Frodo) Easy come, easy go, three feet high, furry toes,
Any way, my sword glows, doesn't really matter to me...
To me.
Bilbo, just left the Shire,
Don't know what's happened to me, since we met that guy in Bree,
Bilbo, they all want my Ring,
But NOW I've got to THROW it ALL AWWAAAYYY...
Samwise, oooOOOooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If Gandalf isn't back this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.
Farewell to Lorien,
Sang a dirge for Mithrandir, got attacked by Boromir,
Goodbye, everybody, now I've got to go,
Gotta TAKE the Ring to MORDOR BY MYSELFFF...
Samwise, oooOOOooo,
I don't want to die,
Some times I wish the Ring had never come to MEE!!
(air guitar by Gandalf)
(Sam) I see a little shadow crawling down a cliff,
(Frodo) It has eyes, it has eyes, maybe used to be a hobbit,
(Gollum) Yellow Face and White Face, very, very frightening me!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol! (Gollum) Gollum!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol! (Gollum) Gollum!
(Frodo) Oh Smeagol, don't kill Sam! (Sam) Don't kill FroDO!!!
(Gollum) I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.
(Frodo) He's just a poor boy from a Stoor family,
He's been enslaved by this piece of jewelry.
(Gollum) Easy come, easy go. Will you let me go?
(Sam) You Slinker! NO! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) You Stinker! NO! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) You Slinker! We will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) Will not let you go! (Frodo) Let him go!
(Sam) Will not let you go! (Gollum) Let me GOO!!!
(Sam) No, no, no, no. (Frodo) What would Gandalf do?
(Gollum) Oh my precious, oh my Precious, OH MY PRECIOUS GIVE IT BACK!!!
(Frodo & Sam) Smeagol has a special trap in store for meee, for MEEE, for MEEEEEEE!!!!!
(dance)
(Frodo) So you think you can bite me and hang me to dry-ie?
So you think you can suck out my blood 'till I die-ie?!
OHHH Shelob, can't do this to me Shelob,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here.
(Frodo & Sam) Ooooooooooo, Mount Doom, Mount Doom,
(Frodo) Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters....
Nothing really matters to me.