I'm glad you liked it :DD Mermaids are usually portrayed as innocent creatures, which was what I was going for.
Thank you for the advice. Someday, I'll come back and fix this story, especially expanding the friendship between the mermaid and the boy. I hope you will come back and re-read the story then! :)
This is wonderful. First of all, I love mermaids. I enjoy her innocence and her eagerness to see a world she couldn't know. It's much like the curiosity we all hold to see other places and know more about them.
The friendship with the boy made me smile. I wish there had been more explaining their relationship and just how close they'd actually gotten before his betrayal.
The betrayal and her death at the end killed me. Gosh. I like that it didn't end as most mermaid tales do, but with tragedy instead. I wonder what the boy was thinking and how he felt when he knew they'd killed her.
This story is so surreal. Innocence, then darkness. It starts out like a dream, and then becomes a nightmare. Even I feel the wonder and detachment of staring at a human through her eyes, and I am one! LOL
Outstanding job. Again, I adore mermaid tales. I hope you write more, or think about expanding upon this one day!
Thank you for such wonderful comments! At first, I was trying to go for the nice 'fairytale' vibe, but the idea for this just bit me and wouldn't let go.
The part when the mermaid meets the boy and they interact was especially hard for me to write, which I guess was why that part was cut short. That was where the emotional roller coaster could have come in, I suppose. I'd like to think that the boy was innocent, and he didn't really mean to bring harm to his mermaid friend, but I leave it to your imagination. Maybe if I re-vamp this story in the future, you can come take a look at it? :DD
I believe he didn't mean to. And we don't know what he might have let slip. He may have let something slip and been bullied into it all. He could have meant to do it all along, he could have been threatened, he could have just wanted to show his friends, only realizing their intentions were terible the moment he saw her innocence against the backdrop of their cruelty. We can't really ever know. I swear, I had such an urge to take what you gave here and run with it for my own amusement. I won't, though, so don't worry! But you are quite the inspiration.
Comments 4
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Mermaids are usually portrayed as innocent creatures, which was what I was going for.
Thank you for the advice. Someday, I'll come back and fix this story, especially expanding the friendship between the mermaid and the boy. I hope you will come back and re-read the story then! :)
Reply
The friendship with the boy made me smile. I wish there had been more explaining their relationship and just how close they'd actually gotten before his betrayal.
The betrayal and her death at the end killed me. Gosh. I like that it didn't end as most mermaid tales do, but with tragedy instead. I wonder what the boy was thinking and how he felt when he knew they'd killed her.
This story is so surreal. Innocence, then darkness. It starts out like a dream, and then becomes a nightmare. Even I feel the wonder and detachment of staring at a human through her eyes, and I am one! LOL
Outstanding job. Again, I adore mermaid tales. I hope you write more, or think about expanding upon this one day!
Reply
The part when the mermaid meets the boy and they interact was especially hard for me to write, which I guess was why that part was cut short. That was where the emotional roller coaster could have come in, I suppose. I'd like to think that the boy was innocent, and he didn't really mean to bring harm to his mermaid friend, but I leave it to your imagination. Maybe if I re-vamp this story in the future, you can come take a look at it? :DD
Reply
I believe he didn't mean to. And we don't know what he might have let slip. He may have let something slip and been bullied into it all. He could have meant to do it all along, he could have been threatened, he could have just wanted to show his friends, only realizing their intentions were terible the moment he saw her innocence against the backdrop of their cruelty. We can't really ever know. I swear, I had such an urge to take what you gave here and run with it for my own amusement. I won't, though, so don't worry! But you are quite the inspiration.
Reply
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