here's a negative spin on that. I'm making an effort and aren't any better off than you and you're not making the effort. Generally i don't feel that way but that thought might cross my mind late at night when i'm feeling like hell.
Yeah, I thought about that spin too. However I think it really shouldn't be about ends, but about the way you set about achieving them. Me, I'm not even trying.
i think you should ask yourself why you want a boyfriend. because being in a relationship isn't the be-all and end-all. it's okay to be without a partner, even though society constantly shoves it down our throats that we're all supposed to be paired off. that's such a load of crap
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thanks Lauren. THey are very wise words and crazily enough, i think i know all that. You are right, it's amazing how society expects you to be in a relationship, i get the feeling you tend to be better off if you are in one. I think i feel this way sometimes cos i haven't had a serious relationship where alot of people i know have, i feel like i'm missing out on something everyone else is experiencing. It's not the missing out that bothers me, it's the great things that people seem to enjoy that i miss. Lol,how can i miss it when i haven't had it...It's crazy and a selfish way to view the world.
how do you define "serious"? everyone thinks of it differently so what's serious for you might not be serious for someone else or vice versa. i also think a lot of people stay in relationships because they're scared of being alone even if the relationship in question is making them totally miserable. i'd take being on my own and happy than with someone and miserable any day of the week.
maybe for you it's a thing of the grass being greener on the other side because you feel that you don't know what it's like. be careful to not idealise the whole relationship thing and create standards that are impossible to meet. i think you have to be happy within yourself to be a good partner.
personally, i don't believe i'm missing out on a thing by being single. admittedly i've had the experience of being in a serious relationship so i've got a different take on it from you. but perhaps you shouldn't listen to me at all because i'm rather cynical when it comes to the whole love/relationship thing.
i guess i think of a serious relationship as being in/sharing love and love seems like a wonderful thing to be involved in. I see what you mean about my possible grass is greener thing though and the possible risk of idealising relationships.
You don't actually come off all that cynically, when i first met you, there was a hint of it but maybe you're becoming less so without realising it...
hey, your words the last couple of days have been wonderful, so thank-you
Do you know what you need? You need to move out, and come and rent one of the apartments in my block (there are ALWAYS vacant ones), and then we can knock on each others' front doors, borrowing cups of sugar from each other or whatever, bitch about our landlord and ponder our own miseries. And I can see you more, and not have to feel sorry for myself that I've pushed my life into a direction where I'm constantly drained and shut off. I'm not sure what hard yards you think you need to do, I wouldn't say you've had it particularly easy! And I'm sorry to hear that these 2 guys have added to that. And I know I haven't been the most emotionally (or physically!) available this past year, but for what it's worth I do miss you :) xo
I guess what i mean by hard yards is a form of self-protection i have and if i consider it in all its ramifications it is illogical, but if i discount that handy little excuse it goes down to being a problem with me or just pretty crappy timing in terms of someone coming along that i'd want to and they'd want to date me.
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*cuddles*
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the cuddles were much needed :)
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We need to hang out -- I'm a bit sick of one or two dictating that someone's verbotten to hang out with or something. Let's break the mindset, eh?
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okay, hanging out is good. Give me two weeks to get rid of two awful assignments i have and we can!
I had to look up verbotten (wonderful use of words too!)and i will ALWAYS want to hang out with you!!!
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You are right, it's amazing how society expects you to be in a relationship, i get the feeling you tend to be better off if you are in one.
I think i feel this way sometimes cos i haven't had a serious relationship where alot of people i know have, i feel like i'm missing out on something everyone else is experiencing. It's not the missing out that bothers me, it's the great things that people seem to enjoy that i miss. Lol,how can i miss it when i haven't had it...It's crazy and a selfish way to view the world.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent
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maybe for you it's a thing of the grass being greener on the other side because you feel that you don't know what it's like. be careful to not idealise the whole relationship thing and create standards that are impossible to meet. i think you have to be happy within yourself to be a good partner.
personally, i don't believe i'm missing out on a thing by being single. admittedly i've had the experience of being in a serious relationship so i've got a different take on it from you. but perhaps you shouldn't listen to me at all because i'm rather cynical when it comes to the whole love/relationship thing.
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You don't actually come off all that cynically, when i first met you, there was a hint of it but maybe you're becoming less so without realising it...
hey, your words the last couple of days have been wonderful, so thank-you
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I'm not sure what hard yards you think you need to do, I wouldn't say you've had it particularly easy! And I'm sorry to hear that these 2 guys have added to that.
And I know I haven't been the most emotionally (or physically!) available this past year, but for what it's worth I do miss you :) xo
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I guess what i mean by hard yards is a form of self-protection i have and if i consider it in all its ramifications it is illogical, but if i discount that handy little excuse it goes down to being a problem with me or just pretty crappy timing in terms of someone coming along that i'd want to and they'd want to date me.
thanks for listening xox
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