Hawaii 5-0 fic: We're left in constant silence [Danny/Steve]
Title: We're left in constant silence
Pairing: Danny/Steve
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount:1.5 K +
Warnings: None
Summary: Danny’s not talking to Steve. Things get tough.
The thing is Steve didn’t expect this.
There are a lot of things that Steve doesn’t truly anticipate. Then again sometimes he does foresee certain things, well, maybe not in regards to the customary social requirements that the average human would normally have. At least that’s what Danny’s life-long mission seems to be; constantly reminding Steve exactly how much of a failure he is when it comes to human interaction. But the other stuff, the do-not-let-bad-guys-escape-this-motherfucking-island stuff, yeah, he’s usually prepared for all the possibilities that may arise. He can say that with certainty.
So what he expected, what really should have happened when the support beam- of all things-knocks him unconscious and he wakes up with a cold compress permanently attached to his head and dried blood, was this: Danny gives Steve his patented, why-the-fuck-do-you-do-this-to-me-asshole look, they both bitch which is mostly Danny bitching, and then things eventually are back to normal.
That, that is what should have happened. The signs that all things are in their right order.
Instead, this happens: ‘I’m not talking to you,’ snaps Danny, pointedly turning his back at Steve and walking away from him.
Steve just shrugs his shoulders, smirks at Kono and doesn’t think much of it because really, the possibility of Danny ignoring him and not stating his opinion on something is non-existent.
_ _ _
Danny doesn’t let him drive the car the next day.
Danny’s car and Steve are inseparable by default and the sudden shift causes something to catch itself in his throat and he smothers it, because maybe he’s just overreacting. It’s not his car. It never was.
It’s Danny’s.
They don’t speak. Steve’s ‘Hey,’ left echoing in the foreboding silence between them.
He absently notes how in between the sharp rays of sunlight Danny’s hair remind Steve of a torrent of flames, unrestrained and yet inhibited somehow, just like Danny. Later, when he storms inside their headquarters and slams the door shut, Steve readjusts this statement: Danny is unrestrained.
Period.
_ _ _
It’s the set of Danny’s shoulders that gives him away. The stiff posture, the absolute defiance in the way he makes his way towards his office later in the afternoon, completely ignoring Steve the same way he has for the past five hours. That’s when it sinks in. Danny’s not talking to him. Danny meant it.
He’s not speaking to Steve.
_ _ _
‘Really Danny, you can’t keep this up. You’re going to have to talk to me eventually,’ Steve says the next day with what he assumes to be indifference as he leans against Danny’s desk carefully watching him. but his hearts thudding a staccato beat and his limbs might just stop working. From the corner of his eye he notices Kono give him a brief look. It’s questioning in the way her head is tilted, chin jutting out like she’s daring him to say something.
He taps his fingers against the table. ‘Well. Come on, Danny.’ Danny lifts his head up slowly from his work and looks at him, his gaze ridiculously intent. Steve feels like he’s entered some sort of uncharted territory, where the ground beneath him has shifted and the brittle exhilaration is seeping it’s way into fear . The unrelenting force of it consumes him for a moment. Danny’s gaze shifts way and Steve realizes he’s looking at Kono, sharing something with Kono, rewarding her with what Steve wants.
Danny clicks the top of his pen and continues writing.
_ _ _
Steve leaves a box of Malasadas on Danny’s desk while his words still echo inside his head. He wonders briefly that maybe he ought to apologise. But then, Steve doesn’t really know how to say sorry, not when it really matters. It’s as if Danny is demanding something from him. Demanding more than what Steve can provide him with. There’s the swift complications starting to permeate their way into Steve’s skin and he's not sure exactly what it is he would be apologizing for anyway. For doing what his job requires of him? For being how he always will be? For going inside that house and making sure Danny didn’t?
So Steve leaves a box of Malasadas on Danny’s desk while his words still echo inside his head.
They’re still there at the end of the day, melting under the humid heat.
_ _ _
It’s been three days and Steve’s starting to feel unsure about a lot of things. They’re checking out a perp. Usually Steve and Danny do this part, except that’s not how it’s going.
Danny looks at Chin. ‘I think you better come with me. We’ll get this done faster than usual.’
Steve fuckin’ knows the bastard aims this at him in particular, like it’s Steve’s fault whenever anything goes wrong, and alright maybe it is. But that's not the point. Chin rolls his eyes and they both leave before Steve can get a word in edgewise. Steve feels slightly dizzy with the thought of Danny out there with Chin. It’s not as if they’ve never worked together without Steve, but this, this is their thing.
He forgets that Kono is still there.
Her sharp, clipped voice echoes in the silence. ‘You need to fix this boss.’
He turns around to look at her. ‘Fix what?’
Her lips quirk in that strange way, like she’s amused but doesn’t want to show it. ‘Whatever it is that you’ve done to piss Danny off so badly. Fix it,’ she says.
‘I don’t know what I’ve done!’ Steve says. His hands are waving about, and he think absently that he’s turning into Danny. ‘I don’t how to fix it, I don’t even know what it is that’s got him so angry at me.’
‘Oh god,’ Kono says, ‘please tell me you’re kidding here? You’ve got to know?’ There is a moment of absolute studious silence that passes between them and Kono’s looking at him with something akin to wonder. ‘Oh god,’ she groans again. ‘Talk to him boss, just talk to him.’
He squints at her for a moment. Has she not noticed? Jesus fuck. ‘I have tried to talk to him, he keeps ignoring me,’ Steve says, and there’s a hint of fear creeping into his voice, some sort of exposure to his true feelings, of things that remain unspoken in the hopes that they will change when, in fact, he knows they never will.
For the first time she smiles at him. ‘Try harder, Steve.’
_ _ _
He misses Danny. Misses his ridiculously stiff hair and his never ending remarks on everything. He misses his big hands and the way they tell him more than words ever really can. He misses the pithy remarks about his clothing, about his stupid ties. Misses driving with him at a speed nearing warp, and the stupid panic inducing way he constantly talks about New Jersey because now he has no idea whether Danny’s even close to calling this place home. It’s all a near distant memory, a chasm that’s opened up and swallowed everything, and he’s left wondering if any of it even existed. If maybe the Danny he knew was just a figment of his remarkably pathetic imagination.
He misses Danny and it’s an ache that won’t ever go away.
_ _ _
Steve’s standing outside Danny’s house banging on his door at three in the morning.
There’s a brief moment where he contemplates whether Danny will open the door. The thing is, Steve knows Danny, more than he really should, something that he’s come to accept as part of his default setting. He knows Danny will eventually open the damn door. It’s the waiting that he’s unsure about.
He can hear a clatter of things from inside and loud footsteps thumping like a distorted beat coming from broken drums. Something undecipherable is yelled and the door is finally yanked open to reveal an angry Danny.
There is a moment of silence.
Danny erupts like a firework, and its, well, it’s fucking brilliant. ‘I can not believe this, seriously Steve? It’s three in the morning. What’s wrong with you?’
Steve can’t help but smile with something close to triumph. This only further infuriates Danny. ‘You know, unlike you Steve, normal people,’ and Danny starts waving his hands and that downward spiral in the pit of Staves’ stomach begins to ease a little, ‘we actually do sleep. It might be a foreign concept that you SEAL psychos don’t know but I was trying to sleep. Sleep. Which means, McGarrett, you do not show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night.’
He turns around ready to slam the door shut in Steve’s face.
‘I’m sorry,’ Steve blurts out. 'I’m sorry and I need you to start talking to me,’ Steve says it all out in a rush, a string of words that are crammed together.
Danny starts flapping his hands again. ‘You don’t even know what you’re apologising for, do you?’’
‘For going into that house,’ Steve says uncertainly.
Danny glares at him. ‘No.’
‘No,’ repeats Steve. ‘Well then tell me what I did wrong. You haven’t said a word to me for three days, it’s getting ridiculous.’
Danny carries on glaring like this is just normal.
Steve starts to protest. ‘You have to talk to me.’
Danny turns around and Steve does the only thing he can think of. He grabs a fist full of shirt and smashes their mouths together, because fuck it, he needs his Danno back. Danny tastes sharp, like broken glass, his mouth prickly and almost explosive. For a moment Danny is frozen beneath Steve, his muscles tense under his hand, and for a few heartbeats Steve thinks he’s got it all wrong. He’s screwed it. Until Danny shifts and yanks Steve’s hair, pulling them impossibly closer, and Danny’s mouth explodes under his lips. They’re kissing like their sanity depends on it, licking and biting into each others mouth, sucking on tongue like this might just be their last chance, but it feels so fucking good, so, so good.
‘You fucker,’ Danny gasps out between kisses. ‘Don’t do that to me again.’
‘I won’t,’ Steve says hoarsely. ‘Jesus. Missed you,’ he mumbles pressing his lips to Danny’s neck and chin.
‘Stop trying to protect me, if you're,’ and Steve tugs at Danny’s bottom lip, ‘if you…..if you're dead, there’s no fucking point.’ The last part loses itself into a long moan.
Steve pulls back and just watches Danny. The swollen lips, his hair in a complete disarray that he’ll have to painstakingly put back into place the next morning. Fuck. He didn’t realise he could miss someone this much.
‘Yeah. Ok. I can’t make promises, though.’ He leans back in and sucks Danny’s tongue back into his mouth before he can start protesting. Danny groans and Steve grabs Danny’s ass and lift him up. They’ll need to talk about this at some point.
But right now, he needs to fuck Danny.
_ _ _