I will stand with you...

[scarlettgirl]

I'm not going to rehash the wank that is tearing through the pan-fandom landscape but I am going to thank everyone who had the courage to stand up and share their stories about some of the most terrifying moments of their lives. They didn't do it for attention or for pity but as an example of the devastating effect of the rape culture and victim

Comments

[harmonyfb]

To stand up for someone when they cannot,

I agree. Doing the right thing is important.

[scarlettgirl]

A week ago I wouldn't have had a question in my mind that you truly believed this. But compassion isn't conditional.

[scarlettgirl]

Thank you for that link (and yes, listening was much better).

I admire the "bootstrap" philosophy because I think we all have the potential to be more than expected but I have no patience for judgment against those that don't "do as I do or do as I believe". Everyone has a story and its beyond arrogant to think that you understand what that story is.

[soundingsea]

But you know what? There are still times when I fall apart, when something is too hard and I can't carry it on my own. In those moments I am thankful that there are other people who are willing and able to help me shoulder those burdens, to speak when I can't.

Thank you for pointing this out. There's never a point, IMO, where any of us become so awesomely self-actualized that we are Super Women who never need help again.

[scarlettgirl]

Realizing that it doesn't make you weak to need or accept help is a huge step in alleviating a lot of pointless guilt. Personally, it has made me stronger and more compassionate. Then again, I don't know when compassion became a weakness rather than a strength.

[misscam]

I do hope one thing that came from this whole mess was the support given those who shared their stories, and maybe that will help others one day to tell theirs. I know I was quite touched by some of the comments I got, and it helped a bit against the more shitty emotions I've had the last few days.

I agree with your last paragraph very much.

[scarlettgirl]

*hugs*

The support has been an amazingly positive result of a whole of not-good stuff. I am in constant awe at how open and willing you always are to share that dark time with people. I know you never wanted to be put in the position of being an inspiration but you are, in spades.

[misscam]

Thanks - I wish I wasn't in the position I was and it had never happened, but I will make what good I can of it, you know? It's my way of denying the rapist fucker any more power over me - well, attempting to, anyway. Others have their way of dealing. We all do what we can.

I do think it's very, very important to realise we're all very different and a trauma like this... We should never ever presume to tell anyone what is the 'right' reaction or that one way is stronger than another. And no one who hasn't experienced it should presume to think they would master it and deal so much better.

Strength is also compassion and humility, IMO.