If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me
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Oh man, 'member that time we picked up that drifter, then performed all kinds of scientific experiments and torture techniques before crushing his head in a vice. Then we extracted his internal organs and used them as a Thanksgiving Day garnish while chopping up his body and smuggling it into the butcher shop where we made drifteroni sausage.
Oh shit, then there was the time I found a dead baby in your garage. Oh that made me laugh.
And the time I impregnated your mother, but that was about 9 months before you were born, so you wouldnt remember.
Remember when we snuck onto the Buffy set and handed Joss all our good fan fictions? He said thanks and told us now he won't end it at just 7 seasons. Now that thanks to us he can keep Buffy running for many many more years. He praised us highly and took us and every one else in btvsats_love and other communities with the entire cast out for lobster. Wasn't that fun?
You called me up half through a re-run of Buffy… “Why doesn’t Spike just drop kick her skinny ass?” you asked instead of saying hello. I didn’t answer right away as I swallowed a sweet and sour pork ball.
After a gulp of coke, I answer, “Then we would never get the horrible Spuffy sex scene.”
You chuckle and I can hear you yelling at the TV…a common thing you do…”Just kick her, Spike, tell her she’s a bitch!”
“He can’t hear you, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah…Deny me my insanity..”
We both laugh and after a few minutes of watching gross spuffy love you ask,” So how did it go with Dylan?”
I snort, “Oh, just fine…if watching your date flirt will every girl but you, is considered a good time..”
“Ouch.”
“yeah, well, that’s the last time I go on a blind date.”
You snicker, “I could say I told you so…”
“Yeah, and we both know how much you enjoy saying you’re always right.”
“Yeah, well…that’s because I always I am.”
We both laugh and then hiss at the TV as Buffy kicks Spike in the head.
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Oh shit, then there was the time I found a dead baby in your garage. Oh that made me laugh.
And the time I impregnated your mother, but that was about 9 months before you were born, so you wouldnt remember.
Good times.
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After a gulp of coke, I answer, “Then we would never get the horrible Spuffy sex scene.”
You chuckle and I can hear you yelling at the TV…a common thing you do…”Just kick her, Spike, tell her she’s a bitch!”
“He can’t hear you, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah…Deny me my insanity..”
We both laugh and after a few minutes of watching gross spuffy love you ask,” So how did it go with Dylan?”
I snort, “Oh, just fine…if watching your date flirt will every girl but you, is considered a good time..”
“Ouch.”
“yeah, well, that’s the last time I go on a blind date.”
You snicker, “I could say I told you so…”
“Yeah, and we both know how much you enjoy saying you’re always right.”
“Yeah, well…that’s because I always I am.”
We both laugh and then hiss at the TV as Buffy kicks Spike in the head.
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And I still like Spuffy!
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