Sedona
This is the closest I have come into contact with Actual Nature for some time. Though I have lived in Phoenix for far too long and though I have heard of Slide Rock, I had never actually been. All I knew about it was that it's a natural stream or river of some sort where people go to swim and it gets closed at certain times of the year for poor water quality, i.e. visitors to Slide Rock defecate in the water and make it unhealthy. Well, Friday was a good quality water day--my responsible friend who knows about these things called to make sure. Driving up north I realized that the desert can actually be green even three quarters into June. This was so surprising I had to take a picture because I have always thought the desert is just so many shades of brown and beige. But no, look at this green stuff---
Since we left early in the day, we arrived in the gorgeous red rocky country well before noon. This is what it looks like driving into Sedona:
There was a ton of construction going through Sedona to Slide Rock. We decided to stop and use a real bathroom before we got to the National Park potties, which I had been warned smell like hell as they are "compost" bathrooms. (Note: They did indeed smell like hell.) From the bathroom break point I was able to get a good picture of Snoopy Rock. Can you see Snoopy?
To the left of Snoopy some ways is Penis Rock, but I have already shown you that. We continued on our way to Slide Rock. On the way, we passed a curve in the road where a bicyclist was lying prone on the ground after apparently being struck by a motorist. He didn't seem to be terribly injured but lying on the ground at a curve in the road is not good news. That's what you get for bicycling. I didn't get a picture of that. . .
Eventually we made it through the slow creeping crawl of a line into the park and we parked and we were there about to make our way to the compost potties but before we proceeded further I insisted that my friends take a picture of me out in Actual Nature in case no one believed me later that I was there. Note my proximity to an exit:
When we reached the compost potties I learned something very upsetting. I was supposed to bring a swimsuit to stupid Slide Rock. Just that morning before leaving I had asked my friend, "Do we wear swim suits?" She said, "Well, the rocks can hurt your butt so I always bring shorts." I interpreted this to mean I should bring shorts to swim in, not a swim suit. What my friend meant was I should bring shorts to wear over my swim suit. People were there in freaking bikinis and I was there in jean capris and my Hello Kitty t-shirt. Fuck! I also failed to bring a towel. I learned all of this as I was gasping for breath in the hideous compost potties. I soldiered on because fuck it all, I had come to Slide Rock and I was getting in the water. Which is what I did. It turned out that not having a swim suit wasn't a huge deal but not having water shoes was a bigger deal. Slide Rock is aptly named. Very aptly named. People slide and fall down on their asses and faces and other extremities about a thousand times a day at Slide Rock, and I am pretty goddamned amazed that no one cracked their head open. Those rocks are slippery.
This is what Slide Rock looks like, well, part of it at least. It goes on for some ways:
Speaking of people slipping and sliding, my friend fell the second she tried to cross the river/stream/whatever Slide Rock is and she cracked her wrist which immediately swelled up to two times its proper size. She was obviously in pain but did not want to leave. She could move her wrist and decided it wasn't broken. My other friend said, "I thought if anybody was going to fall it would be Karen." I pretended to take offense at this, but honestly I understood the sentiment. Here is a picture of me and my injured friend. She is putting ice on her swollen wrist. She was a trooper.
I actually did not fall down all day, but I did get stuck after I slid down the middle of Slide Rock and then couldn't pull myself out of the water because it was so slippery. I decided to wait for assistance. Seeing my plight, the friend who had insulted me traipsed over the dry rock bank and gave me a hand out of the water. Sometimes all you need is a hand.
Apparently people jump off cliffs at Slide Rock into the water, but that is insane and obviously I did not do anything like that. We stayed for awhile and then we went and ate Mexican food and bought fudge at the fudge shop and looked at some touristy stuff. Here is an example of the fine art you can buy in Sedona if you are into colorful javelina:
Finally we hit the road for home. I leave you with a final image of Sedona. I think this is Bell Rock. Impressive, but it's not shaped like a penis, so how impressive is it really?
Since we left early in the day, we arrived in the gorgeous red rocky country well before noon. This is what it looks like driving into Sedona:
There was a ton of construction going through Sedona to Slide Rock. We decided to stop and use a real bathroom before we got to the National Park potties, which I had been warned smell like hell as they are "compost" bathrooms. (Note: They did indeed smell like hell.) From the bathroom break point I was able to get a good picture of Snoopy Rock. Can you see Snoopy?
To the left of Snoopy some ways is Penis Rock, but I have already shown you that. We continued on our way to Slide Rock. On the way, we passed a curve in the road where a bicyclist was lying prone on the ground after apparently being struck by a motorist. He didn't seem to be terribly injured but lying on the ground at a curve in the road is not good news. That's what you get for bicycling. I didn't get a picture of that. . .
Eventually we made it through the slow creeping crawl of a line into the park and we parked and we were there about to make our way to the compost potties but before we proceeded further I insisted that my friends take a picture of me out in Actual Nature in case no one believed me later that I was there. Note my proximity to an exit:
When we reached the compost potties I learned something very upsetting. I was supposed to bring a swimsuit to stupid Slide Rock. Just that morning before leaving I had asked my friend, "Do we wear swim suits?" She said, "Well, the rocks can hurt your butt so I always bring shorts." I interpreted this to mean I should bring shorts to swim in, not a swim suit. What my friend meant was I should bring shorts to wear over my swim suit. People were there in freaking bikinis and I was there in jean capris and my Hello Kitty t-shirt. Fuck! I also failed to bring a towel. I learned all of this as I was gasping for breath in the hideous compost potties. I soldiered on because fuck it all, I had come to Slide Rock and I was getting in the water. Which is what I did. It turned out that not having a swim suit wasn't a huge deal but not having water shoes was a bigger deal. Slide Rock is aptly named. Very aptly named. People slide and fall down on their asses and faces and other extremities about a thousand times a day at Slide Rock, and I am pretty goddamned amazed that no one cracked their head open. Those rocks are slippery.
This is what Slide Rock looks like, well, part of it at least. It goes on for some ways:
Speaking of people slipping and sliding, my friend fell the second she tried to cross the river/stream/whatever Slide Rock is and she cracked her wrist which immediately swelled up to two times its proper size. She was obviously in pain but did not want to leave. She could move her wrist and decided it wasn't broken. My other friend said, "I thought if anybody was going to fall it would be Karen." I pretended to take offense at this, but honestly I understood the sentiment. Here is a picture of me and my injured friend. She is putting ice on her swollen wrist. She was a trooper.
I actually did not fall down all day, but I did get stuck after I slid down the middle of Slide Rock and then couldn't pull myself out of the water because it was so slippery. I decided to wait for assistance. Seeing my plight, the friend who had insulted me traipsed over the dry rock bank and gave me a hand out of the water. Sometimes all you need is a hand.
Apparently people jump off cliffs at Slide Rock into the water, but that is insane and obviously I did not do anything like that. We stayed for awhile and then we went and ate Mexican food and bought fudge at the fudge shop and looked at some touristy stuff. Here is an example of the fine art you can buy in Sedona if you are into colorful javelina:
Finally we hit the road for home. I leave you with a final image of Sedona. I think this is Bell Rock. Impressive, but it's not shaped like a penis, so how impressive is it really?