FTJ is consuming my life again. I skipped school today so I could sleep, but spent 6am til 8pm laying in my bed. It was not the greatest. I had no idea you could lay there that long and not do a damn thing
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Lex, I am never ever ever going to be just a memory okay? I love you with every little single tiny part of my heart and I swear on everything that we are going to spend time together, alot of time. You really have no idea how much I hate being here, how much I hate being away from you and not being able to actually hold your hand or listen to you talk or just do anything about everything you feel. Between Jake and Nik and your sickness, me being here makes me feel like a selfish fuck. I know you need me there whether or not you believe it, I know you need alot of things in your life. But just, please, ... never make me just a memory.
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