[drabble] A Year of Regrets

Sep 05, 2011 09:45

Title: A Year of Regrets

Author: Luna (dreamweavernyx)

Pairing: Yabu x Keito

Genre: Angst/Tragedy

Rating: PG

Summary: By the time he realises what he's lost it's too late.

Notes: For atiqah2chan~
Many thanks to Jess for betareading! :)

~

ottobre ~october~

“You’re what?!”

Keito blinks at Yabu, before sighing and calmly repeating his statement.

“I said, I’m going to England for a year. To study.”

Yabu frowns.

“Is this confirmed?”

“No,” Keito sighs. “But I’ve been offered a spot in the exchange programme, and I want to go.”

Groaning, Yabu runs a hand through his hair. He does want Keito to do what he wants to, but he can’t help but think about the future of JUMP as well.

“We’ve just lost Ryuu,” he says softly. “If our group has to go without you for a year, we may just get put on hiatus.”

Keito bites his lip, and shakes his head.

“Yabu, I really want this. And you all will be fine. Didn’t Akanishi-kun leave KAT-TUN to study in America before?”

“That’s different,” scowls Yabu. “We need you.”

“It’s only a year, Yabu. Johnny-san is fine with it too, you know.”

“I don’t care,” Yabu snaps. “You can’t go, Keito. We need you. I need you.”

Failing to sense the tiny note of desperation woven into the last sentence, Keito’s face sours a little.

“Look,” he spits out, in a rare show of anger. “In the end, this is my decision. You’re not the boss of me, so if I want to go and I’m allowed to go then I will jolly well go to England!”

Spinning on his heel, he stalks out of the dressing room. At the door, he stops for a last remark.

“I guess it was a mistake to tell you.”

The door slams shut.

novembre ~november~

Keito and Yabu do not speak a word to each other after that argument. Keito sticks to 7 corner and Yabu to BEST corner, and neither reveal the exact reason as to why they are in such bad moods.

“Kou,” Inoo says gently. “Keito is leaving for England next month, you know. Shouldn’t you try to make amends?”

“Leave me alone,” Yabu snaps, flinging out an arm and smacking Inoo away.

Hikaru is very upset by this, and flings one of Daiki’s Pocky boxes at Yabu’s head. Unfortunately he misses, and the box skids across the floor until it comes to a stop at Yamada’s feet.

Yabu rolls his eyes.

dicembre ~december~

All of them go to the airport to see Keito off.

Yabu hangs around at the back of the crowd, scuffing his sneakers against the floor.

I can’t believe he was totally alright with leaving us behind - leaving me behind - to go on an exchange programme, Yabu thinks.

He remembers a Keito of a time long past telling him cheekily: “Yabu will always be the number one priority in my heart~”

He wonders where the Keito of then has gone to. The Keito of now has dropped Yabu from his top priorities, and Yabu doesn’t like it.

He misses that Keito too much to notice the Keito of now, walking into the departure hall, silhouette fading away into the crowd.

gennaio ~january~

They go for Countdown, just the eight of them, dancing to Hitomi no Screen with empty smiles on their faces.

“Keito-kun will be back soon,” Koyama tells them encouragingly.

They all nod and smile, but in their heads they know eleven months is a long, long wait.

febbraio ~february~

For the first time in a long while, Yabu spends Valentine’s Day alone.

marzo ~march~

“Did you fight with Keito or something?” Takaki asks curiously.

“None of your business.”

Frowning, Takaki shrugs his shoulders.

“If you ask me, I think you should apologise. You’re not going to see him for a year, after all.”

“Well,” Yabu snaps, “I’m not asking you now, am I?”

Sighing, Takaki walks away.

“I tried,” he mutters to Daiki. “For a leader, he’s sure immature in some places.”

aprile ~april~

The only thing he does for Keito’s birthday is sign his name on the giant card the group buys him.

It’s funny, he muses, how all of this makes me forget things like birthdays.

maggio ~may~

“You should apologise,” Hikaru tells him sternly, arms akimbo.

Yabu blinks at him.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, whatever.”

Hikaru scowls.

giugno ~june~

Dear Keito:

I sincerely apologise for being stupid in that argument-

Yabu balls up the paper and chucks it into the waste bin.

“Too formal,” he grumbles.

Dear Keito:

Please forgive me-

Crumple. Wad. Throw.

luglio ~july~

Tanabata comes around, and JUMP puts up a tree in their room to hang their wishes on.

When he thinks nobody is looking, Yabu creeps up to the tree and hangs up his own wish delicately, on a branch far back where few will see it.

I wish I could turn back time - it would be so much easier that way.

agosto ~august~

Yabu finally finishes a letter, and sends it off under the watchful eyes of BEST.

A week and a half later he gets it back, with a message that there is insufficient postage.

Yabu wonders if his apology is just not meant to be.

settembre ~september~

Keito writes to all of JUMP regularly.

In his latest letter he says they’re flying to another part of Europe for a week-long field trip. He sounds very hyped about going, and everybody can’t help but smile when they read his letter.

“Stay safe,” Yuto is tasked to tell him over Skype, late at unearthly hours of the night (in Japan, at least).

Keito agrees.

ottobre ~october~

Yabu wakes up to the morning news, only to learn that in Europe a plane traveling from Budapest to England has crashed due to technical difficulties and turbulence encountered mid-flight.

Minutes later, he receives a frantic text message from Yamada.

YABU. KEITO’S PLANE CRASHED. OHMYGOD. IT CRASHED.

And in that moment, his heart plunges all the way down to rock bottom.

novembre ~november~

They send back the body, eventually.

Yabu spends his time drowning in regrets and unsaid apologies and silent tears.

decembre ~december~

A single, plain letter sits next to a wooden coffin.

Dear Keito:

I’m sorry.

I love you, but I guess it’s a little too late now to say that.

So instead I’ll say I’m sorry.

Goodbye.

fine ~end~

character: yabu kota, character: okamoto keito, genre: tragedy, pairing: yabu kota x okamoto keito, genre: angst, type: drabble

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