[oneshot] Speak without Words

[dreamweavernyx]

Title: Speak without Words

Author: Luna (dreamweavernyx )

Pairing: Yuto/OC

Genre: Fluff/minor Angst

Summary: The new girl working at the music store piques Yuto's interest.

Notes: I officially break hiatus with a new fic! Please enjoy. :D

Kindly beta-ed by Saki (shiroikazex ).

~


Ding.

The till pops out, and the cashier smiles at him as she gestures silently to the amount displayed on the screen. Yuto fishes out his wallet and pays for his drumsticks, and waits as she hands him his receipt with another wordless smile.

This cashier is new, a young girl who looks as if she’s still only in high school - just like him - and he doesn’t remember seeing her before. He finds it strange how she carries out her job without saying a single word.

His phone vibrates violently in his pocket - probably an annoyed Keito calling to ask why he’s fifteen minutes late - and he swallows his curiosity and leaves the shop.

~

A couple of days later, he finds himself going back to that same music shop again. It’s not to see that girl again, he tells himself, it’s because Keito wants to get new guitar picks and I’m helping him because I’m an awesome friend.

But the moment he walks in his eyes swivel in the direction of the cashier’s counter anyway.

She’s there again, her black hair pinned behind her in a practical ponytail, working at the cashier and ringing up someone’s huge stack of scorebooks. He watches as she accepts the credit card offered, and again wordlessly finishes and begins packing the books into a recyclable bag.

He sidles into the queue as the lady picks up the bag of scorebooks and leaves the shop. The five guitar picks are placed on the counter, and she smiles at him, recognition in her eyes for a brief second, before turning back to the till.

The receipt - and the picks - are passed to him in due time, along with his change. But Yuto isn’t ready to leave the shop yet.

“Sorry if I’m being insensitive,” he begins awkwardly, “but how come you don’t speak? Is it because you can’t hear me?”

She blinks at him, and then her eyes crease up in amusement as she shakes her head. Looking around to make sure there are no other customers waiting for her to ring up their items, she reaches for a small post-it pad lying next to the till and scribbles a line on it hastily.

No, I can hear you perfectly. But I can’t speak, I’m mute.

Yuto lets out a tiny “Oh,” and feels slightly embarrassed. Her eyes scan his face, and her blue pen flies across the yellow square post-it as another line of neat penmanship appears.

Don’t feel awkward, it’s okay. That face you’re making looks strange on you anyway. I bet you look much better when you smile.

His lips twitch upwards a little at that, and her eyes light up in triumph.

See? You should smile all the time.

At that moment, a beefy man comes up behind Yuto and slides a guitar chord book across the counter. In a quick flurry of movement, the post-it has disappeared, and she reaches for the book to scan the barcode.

The door tinkles as Yuto pushes it open and leaves the store.

~

“Going to that music store again?” Keito laughs as they part ways.

Yuto feels his cheeks burn a little, but says nothing, instead waving goodbye to his best friend as he walks towards the music store.

He sees her head snap up as the bell at the door jingles, announcing his arrival.

“…Hi,” he says slightly awkwardly, “I’m back.”

Her lips curve up in an amused smile, and she waves at him. He walks to the counter, and suddenly he finds himself overtaken by something else, and feels his mouth speak words he’s always wanted to say, but never had the courage to.

“Want to go out for a drink or something? My treat.”

She tilts her head quizzically.

“Oh, um…” He’s floundering now. “I want to get to know you better, you know?”

She stares at him for a while, making him look away, suddenly shy. Then, she reaches for her yellow post-its, and writes something hastily.

My shift ends in fifteen minutes. :)

A sudden feeling of relief floods his heart, and he nods. A customer approaches the counter, and Yuto wanders away to peruse the scorebooks.

Fifteen minutes in the store pass agonizingly slowly, but finally a tall teenage boy walks in, and she walks out from behind the counter to let her replacement take over.

Yuto watches as she slips her post-it pad and pen into her jacket pocket, before walking out behind her into the crisp autumn air.

So, where are we going?

He looks at the blue words scribbled on her palm, and suddenly realizes he doesn’t know where to go. She seems to sense this, and her eyes light up in silent laughter as she writes down another messy line on her palm.

Follow me, I know this place that serves great tea and cakes.

They stop outside a small café at a road junction, with a pastel blue awning and pretty wicker chairs under cerulean blue umbrellas around it. She pushes open the door, and the scent of tea immediately greets Yuto.

“Welcome to Café Plumeria-” greets a young man with red-brown hair in a black apron behind the counter, who stops short when he recognizes her.

“Takemoto-chan!” he calls instead, “hello again! Your usual?”

She smiles and nods, before moving away to find a seat as Yuto places his order. Soon, he joins her, sitting on the blue chair opposite her.

“So…” he begins after a short expectant pause, “I’m Nakajima Yuto. Nice to meet you!”

She grins.

I know. I see you on TV a lot.

He realizes belatedly that this is probably true.

I’m Takemoto Aria, she continues, I’m sixteen. I have one brother and a pet cat. Her name’s Shiro, but she’s a black cat.

“A black cat? Called Shiro?”

Aria’s eyes crease into slits, and she lifts a hand to hide a smile.

Dad has a weird way of naming things. He named his goldfish Sashimi and Onigiri.

Their drinks arrive just then, oolong tea for Yuto and a macha smoothie for her. Yuto begins to sip his drink, and raises an eyebrow when he notices the many ice cubes in her smoothie.

“You realize it’s autumn,” he says, “and you’re drinking a cold drink.”

Why not? she scribbles on the receipt, I usually eat a soft cream too, on the way home, but it’ll be a little difficult to talk to you if I occupy one hand with a cone. Don’t you think it feels great to walk along with a cold wind blowing in your face as you eat ice cream?

“Well…I haven’t eaten ice cream in ages, you see-”

Her eyebrows pinch as she stares at him in sudden incredulity.

Hurry and finish your tea. I’m taking you to eat some now.

~

He ends up with a strawberry soft cream, which he licks at gingerly as he waits for Aria to pay for her vanilla-chocolate one. The autumn breeze wraps around him, messing up his hair, and he suddenly sees why Aria likes eating ice cream in the cold.

“You’re right,” he tells her, as they begin to walk around the park, “it does feel good with the wind blowing in your face.”

Her eyes twinkle and she nods, taking another enthusiastic mouthful of ice cream.

Just then, a little boy zooms by on his tricycle, skidding around the path. He doesn’t seem to be very good at controlling his direction, and as the tricycle speeds straight at Aria, it is obvious that his brake control is non-existent.

Thankfully, Aria sidesteps out of the way, keeping a firm grip on her ice cream, and the little boy comes to an abrupt stop as his mother yanks the tricycle hard. However, while the ice cream is safe, the sudden movement causes her shoulder bag to slip off her shoulder and spill its contents out on the ground.

Yuto kneels down immediately and begins picking up the pens and post-its that spill out of the small canvas messenger bag.

“Wow,” he laughs, “you sure have a lot of pens.”

She stoops to join him, and her fingers pick up what Yuto thinks is either the fifth or the sixth pink pen.

Colors show emotion, she writes on her lower arm, so I like to use different colors sometimes.

Five minutes later, Yuto tosses the last post-it pad (pastel blue and cloud-shaped) into the bag and returns it to Aria. They walk to the entrance of the park, and Aria scribbles one more pink line onto her palm.

Thanks for today. It was fun.

She waves goodbye, and begins to walk home.

“W-wait!”

He watches her silhouette pause, and she turns to look at him.

“Can I have your number?” he asks hesitantly.

Several footsteps, and she’s right in front of him again. From her skirt pocket she fishes out a slim white keitai with no phone strap - strange for a girl not to have any, Yuto muses - and types out a number onto the screen, which he copies down onto his own.

See? he types into his keitai, now we can talk even if you don’t have post-its.

He presses Send and watches her eyes dance as she reads the text message. The screen lights up her face in the darkening surroundings as her fingers type out a reply. Moments later, his own keitai vibrates.

Arigatou.

~

“Somebody’s in love~” sings Yamada in the dressing room, looking meaningfully at Yuto.

“I am not!” Yuto denies vehemently, scowling at the shorter boy bouncing around the room and munching strawberry konpeito candy. Keito laughs, and slings an arm around Yuto’s shoulder.

“You’re staring at your phone as if you’re waiting for an important text message, and each time it vibrates you look really excited. It totally seems like there’s a girl involved, hm?”

Yuto ignores Keito’s meaningful eyebrow-waggle.

“It’s not.”

Chinen looks up from where he’s staring at Ryutaro’s DS, draped over the couch of the 7 dressing room.

“Does that mean it’s a guy? Are you gay?” he asks innocently, and Yuto chokes on his water.

“There’s no need to be shy about it,” Keito pipes up.

Yuto groans and buries his face in his hands.

“I’m not gay,” he grinds out, and with that he grabs his keitai and leaves the dressing room.

~

From: Yuto

Sorry for the wait. My bandmates were being weird. You’re serious about the invitation thing?

From: Aria

Yep! Mom says she really wants to meet you since you’re the first guy I’ve interacted with besides nii-chan.

From: Yuto

But we’ve only known each other for such a short time!

From: Aria

It feels much longer though, because we message each other a lot. :)

From: Yuto

If you say so. I’ll meet you outside the station then?

From: Aria

Sure thing. You end work early tomorrow right? Don’t fill yourself up, Mom’s going to cook dinner.

From: Yuto

Will do. Thank your mum in advance for me, will you?

From: Aria

Sure~ See you tomorrow evening at 7.30!

Yuto smiles at the last message, and with a small sigh flips his keitai closed, slips it into the pocket of his sweatpants, and heads back down to practice.

~

The last streaks of sunset fade into stormy blue-black as Yuto follows Aria along a quiet sidewalk to her house. Finally, they reach a quaint-looking two-storey house with warm yellow walls.

Aria reaches out and unlocks the door, pulling it open, and Yuto is immediately assaulted by a wave of light.

“Ria-chan, okaeri!”

A tall boy with messy sandy-brown hair gets up from the sofa and bounds to the door, giving her a hug before turning to Yuto.

“My name’s Takemoto Yuusuke, I’m Ria-chan’s brother. Pleased to meet you!”

“I’m Nakajima Yuto,” Yuto says awkwardly, and Yuusuke smiles.

“Mom’s going to bring dinner out in a minute, you guys have great timing! Come in, sit down.”

True to Yuusuke’s words, the table is soon full of plates and dishes full of food, and Yuto finds himself being plied with more than he can stomach. Dinner lasts for about an hour, and as Aria and her mother disappear to do the dishes, Yuto sits on the couch next to Yuusuke and watches basketball.

“Um…Yuusuke-san…”

“Just ‘Yuusuke’ is fine,” laughs Yuusuke, and Yuto nods, restarting his question.

“I don’t know if it’s okay to ask this, but I noticed it and it’s been on my mind ever since. Aria…how come she doesn’t look like either of you?”

Yuusuke turns down the volume of the TV and casts a furtive glance around.

“She’s not supposed to,” he says finally, in a soft voice, “Ria-chan’s adopted.”

Yuto blinks at the piece of news, and gestures for Yuusuke to continue.

“Her biological parents…they obviously didn’t want a mute daughter. Mom and I found her at the age of four, sitting in a cardboard box in a dark alley. Since then, we’ve all become close, just like real family.”

“I see,” says Yuto, nodding slowly.

“But!” continues Yuusuke, “Ria-chan doesn’t know about this. We all told her that she looks like her uncle. The fact is, we have no uncle. She just thinks that he died while out fishing many years ago. So don’t tell her, okay? I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Yuto looks at Yuusuke’s face, creased with worry and concern for his sister, and nods.

~

It’s a slow process.

But with every new text message, every new post-it, Yuto finds himself falling more and more for the quiet girl with the midnight hair and eyes that speak volumes.

For her birthday, he presents her with a package of heart-shaped post-its in different shades of pink. She smiles brightly at him, and in that moment, Yuto knows that he wants to see that smile every day, for the rest of his life.

~

A couple of weeks later, the two of them walk slowly along the riverside. The photoshoot had ended early, and now both are clutching ice creams and taking a slow stroll under the serene starlit sky.

Aria stops abruptly, right in front of a battered-looking orange crate sitting sadly in a pool of orange streetlamp light. There are scratching sounds from within, and Aria stoops to open up the wooden cover.

Inside the wooden box are three small kittens - one calico, one tabby, and one pure white.

“Abandoned pets,” Yuto murmurs sadly, looking at them. Aria’s brows knit together in a small frown, and she hastily fishes out her keitai and single-handedly types in a line.

I think we should adopt them, they’re going to die out here all alone.

“Does your house have any space for any more cats though? I can’t bring them home.”

Well…I don’t think so…but we can’t just leave them here to die!

Yuto sighs.

“None of us can take them home!”

But they’ll die here! Can we take them to a shelter or something? Please?

“But you can’t save every single abandoned animal out there,” Yuto tries to explain, “I know you sympathize with them because you were adopted too, but-”

Abruptly, Yuto cuts himself off.

“Don’t tell her, okay?”

Open mouth, insert foot, he thinks. He can see shock transform into disbelief and then into horror and helplessness in Aria’s eyes.

Shit.

He tries to backpedal, but the damage has been done. Betrayal and hurt slowly dawns in her eyes, and Yuto can see the faintest hint of tears ready to fall. In a whirl of lavender skirt and citrus shampoo scent, she is gone, and Yuto can do nothing but watch her silhouette disappear into the sunset.

~

“I’m sorry,” he groans to Yuusuke a couple of days later, “how is she?”

Yuusuke sighs.

“She’s locked herself in her room ever since she came back. Mom’s been leaving trays outside her room every meal, but when she brings them back downstairs less than half of it’s been eaten.”

Yuto bites his lip, ashamed.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean for it to slip out-”

“It’s okay,” cuts in Yuusuke firmly, “we were going to break it to her eventually.”

~

The cool wind blows into her room, causing her hair to blow messily around her face.

Just then, her keitai vibrates on the windowsill, and she picks it up.

From: Yuto

How are you? I’m really sorry for making you sad and all…Please reply? I’m really worried right now.

Her finger hovers over the Reply button, but in an abrupt movement she snaps the phone shut and buries it under her pillow.

She looks up at the stars in the sky, so lonely and cold.

Like me, she thinks, lonely and unwanted.

She’d always suspected that she wasn’t a true part of the family. Once Yuusuke had let slip accidentally that they had no uncles - despite telling her that she took after one.

She’d always suspected that she perhaps might have been an adopted child.

And now, that suspicion had been confirmed.

She cries herself to sleep that night.

~

The rest of JUMP all notice Yuto’s sudden dampened mood.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whines to Keito, the only one who knows the reason for his mood, “I made her like this and I don’t know what to do.”

Keito sighs and pats Yuto’s head.

“Talk to her?”

“But she’s locked up in her room!”

Laughing a little, Keito nudges Yuto playfully.

“That’s never bothered you before, has it? I remember you used to try and climb the drainpipe at my house all the time.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Go talk to her,” Keito says firmly, “it’s probably the only thing you can do right now.”

~

She wakes up in the middle of the night to a curious tapping on her window. Blearily, she swings her feet out of bed and pads to the window to pull apart the curtains.

A pair of familiar black eyes look at her through the glass of her window, and if she could speak she would have shrieked in surprise.

Her hand reaches for the ever-familiar post-it pad on her bedside table, and she picks up a pen - purple ink to show confusion - and scribbles quickly on it.

What are you doing here?

Yuto blinks rapidly, and holds up a piece of paper with his own messy scrawl written beforehand on it.

Firstly, can you open the window and let me in? I can’t balance on the ladder for very long.

Startled, she pulls open the window and allows Yuto to clamber in awkwardly. A glance outside shows her a long wooden ladder propped up against the wall of her home.

“Um…” Yuto begins, “how are you?”

And suddenly, reality comes crashing back down on her and she remembers that she’s supposed to be distancing herself from him. Unconsciously, her feet begin to shuffle backwards, until her back hits the opposite wall.

Puzzlement blooms in Yuto’s eyes, and she grabs another pen - red this time, for anger - and shakily writes another line.

Why do you even bother?

“Eh?”

Character after character appears under the nib of her pen as she furiously writes a reply.

You abandoned me. After you told me the truth. You’re no better than them. Why do you even bother to come back now?

“Aria…listen. I didn’t abandon you. I just didn’t know how to talk to you after you ran away that night-”

Liar.

“What?!” Yuto sputters, mouth hanging open like a goldfish.

You don’t care. Nobody does.

“I do care-” responds Yuto hotly, but Aria cuts him off with another post-it.

You leave me alone in my greatest time of need, and the only communication I have with you is a text message!

He cannot say anything out of pure shock, but as he tries to step forward to comfort her, she falls to the floor, legs splayed out as her fists clench on the floor. The tears are falling again, tiny diamonds on the wooden parquet.

Another post-it appears, fluttering down from the bedside table after being dislodged by a breeze from the open window, this time filled in blue handwriting. Blue…for sadness? he thinks, as he picks it up to read.

With the first glance, he knew it was a tiny journal entry of some sort, but curiosity compelled him to read on.

I guess…it was all too good to be true.

I guess I was stupid to think that someone like you would ever like someone like me. You’re perfect…and I’m a reject. And yet, I let myself hope. Hope that I had a friend - perhaps more than a friend - who cared for me.

Perhaps it was just another delusion…I guess nobody will ever love a reject like me.

Her head is still down, falling tears hidden by a curtain of jet-black hair, shoulders shaking. She had not seen him read the blue post-it.

“Aria,” Yuto murmurs, but her head remains down.

“Aria,” he tries again, “look at me, please.”

Slowly, she does raise her head to look at him, and the puffy red eyes and shiny tear trails pull at his heartstrings.

Go away, she quickly scribbles on her palm, let me cry alone.

“No,” says Yuto, and instead moves forward and places a hand gently on her shoulder. He kneels down to meet her eye level, and peers straight into her sad eyes.

“Aria, I do care. I care about you a lot. As a friend, or perhaps more than just a friend. Please don’t put yourself down like this. You’re not a reject.”

Her lip quivers, and she slowly pens down another line on her post-it.

I am. I’m imperfect, even my own birth parents abandoned me.

“No,” consoles Yuto, “your birth parents did that because they were big fat jerks, okay? You’re perfect just the way you are. Your family now loves you for who you are. I love you for who you are.”

But why? Why me? There are so many other girls out there that you could pick. Girls who are prettier, smarter, can speak…why bother with me?

Gently, Yuto moves his hand on her shoulder to her hair, and strokes it comfortingly.

“A girl who can speak…what’s special about that? I chose you because you’re special in my eyes.”

Because of my defect. That makes me special in a bad way. That’s why I was abandoned, wasn’t it? Because I’m useless like this.

“No, not because of that. You’re special because you can get your intentions and feelings across very clearly. I don’t misunderstand you at all.”

But doesn’t it bother that I can’t speak? That even if you say ‘Aishiteru’ I’ll never be able to say the same back to you?

Yuto smiles a small smile.

“Speech isn’t the only way to convey what you mean, Aria. You’ve shown me that. Sometimes, some things can only be conveyed through silence. So what if you can’t tell me ‘Aishiteru’? I don’t need you to confirm what I already know, do I?”

Slowly, he moves even closer, and his arms envelop her in a strong yet gentle hug. Her face nestles itself in the crook of his neck, and she sniffles as her tears gradually stop.

He doesn’t say anything for a while, and the two of them just stay locked in the embrace for a while, enjoying the silence.

And faintly on the wind, their ears seem to pick up the words Aishiteru.

~

“Aria!”

She turns at the sound, and smiles brilliantly as she waves to Yuto, running up to her slightly out of breath.

“Sorry I’m late,” he pants, but she shakes her head to indicate It’s OK while reaching out to pluck a dried and curling leaf from his hair.

The last of the autumn leaves blow around them in a final brown storm as they walk slowly down the path at the park.

She tugs at his arm gently, and they head for the swing set. Plopping herself down on the seat, she tilts her head upwards to look questioningly at Yuto, and he laughs.

“Okay, I’ll push you.”

The cold wind rushes past her face as she begins to fly on the swing, and her eyelids flutter shut. She can hear every sound around her, and suddenly the gentle caress of the wind is more than just a rush of cold air to her skin. It wraps around her, a cocoon of safety.

The swing reaches its peak, and begins to swing backwards. The familiar sensation of falling makes itself known in the pit of her stomach, but she holds no fear.

Yuto will catch her when she falls, that she knows.

It’s a trust that doesn’t need to be spoken with words.

A trust that sings in the silence.

And for the first time, a silence without spoken words seems so beautiful to her.