Fiction: Incredible Lightness of Being (NC-17)
Title: Incredible Lightness of Being
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Notes: Incredible Lightness of Being - that feeling that is a part of the human spirit, that ingrained nature within us that knows when something is right and just.
He was perceptive.
He knew what Carter thought of him in times of personal crisis. He was the forgotten one, the one for whom chivalry wasn't dead, just filed away behind duty and words he wasn't allowed to say. He was the shoulder she always turned to.
They had carefully built walls between them with their relationships with the rest of the team, with their ranks and with the lovers that came and went in their own personal lives.
Something had changed after those days on the Prometheus. Something inside her had shifted; he’d seen it even though she still leaned on him when he and Teal’c found her on that planet a few weeks later.
Even though she still called him sir in a tone that felt like a caress.
Pete was a line in the sand, a final call to arms against the forbidden, barely acknowledged, thing that was between them and if he knew about the thing between them then he was smart enough to know he’d won and didn’t gloat.
Which meant Jack didn’t have to snap his neck.
Understanding that explained a lot that most of the SGC members were dying to ask but didn’t, her hastily planned wedding, Jack’s not quite secret relationship with Kerry, Pete’s overly friendly politeness when faced with Jack and the members of her team, even Jacob’s distance from the man who was going to become his son-in-law made sense when you know what Jack knew.
It was to be expected that Jack would need time, need to find a way to accept that she had found herself the life he had always wished her to have. He realized that the years spent in denial had at the most been only a taste of what was coming. He had written a simply worded request for transfer, it waited in a sealed envelope for Carter’s wedding and his chance to hand it to Hammond directly rather than sending it to D.C. He owed the other man that much, and the replacement he’d suggested would do the post proud. Hank Landry was a good man.
They needed a commander for the Alpha site, a post that he thought might be far enough away from his former 2IC to make his life bearable and he hoped Hammond would assign him there. The other man knew more than he’d let on, he’d said as much more than once, without saying anthing. Their friendship was another victim of the silence that had been imposed because of duty. It was hard to be close to a man you had to lie to day to day, but they’d adjusted. Jack thought that Hammond would empathize with the need to be away somewhere where he wouldn’t have to see her every day and if he didn’t Jack thought he could find an ally in Jacob and a home off planet.
He was prepared to let her go, but he hadn’t expected to find her standing on his porch nine days before the big event; the rain leaving streaks of grey on the pale ivory of her wedding dress. He hadn’t been prepared for her appearing like a drenched angel and burning up the carefully formed words he had prepared in his mind before he could even attempt to speak.
He wasn’t the one who people came to when they needed a shoulder, he never had been and likely never would be, but she had always leaned on him in times of crisis.
“Little over dressed for a social call,” he tried but couldn’t stop the flicker of pain that tightened his chest, the hard bitter edge in his voice that the shock of seeing her when he had thought he was safe had sharpened to a razor edge.
"I needed to..." Her eyes were soft, vulnerable, with rain darkening her eyelashes and highlighting the planes of her face and bare shoulders.
"Get a second opinion on the dress?" It was beyond crazy, watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she struggled for words. He needed her to tell him why she was standing on his porch with the rain ruining her wedding dress as much as she needed to say it.
Instead of speaking she placed one cold trembling hand against his cheek and brought her mouth to his.
As quickly as it had begun it ended, she took a few steps back out into the downpour unable or unwilling to meet his gaze and he stepped out into the setting dusk without noticing the rain saturating his hair and clothes and kissed her again.
“Why didn't you tell me not to do it? All you had to say was don't, but you just congratulated me and let me walk away.” she could see him trying to think back to pinpoint the moment he had made the decision to be happy for her, to congratulate her instead of asking her to reconsider, to wait for them.
"You deserve more than what I can give you," He closed his eyes and pulled away slightly so the porch light glinted off his rain spattered face. "You seemed so happy that I couldn't say it, I couldn't stop you from finding what we both know we're unlikely to find together. I thought if I didn't say anything you'd be able to let go. I wanted you to be..." He trailed off and looked down at her.
“You wanted me to be free,” She buried her face against his neck breathing in his scent and tightening her hands in the damp cloth that covered his chest as if afraid he would pull away again. She closed her eyes, shivering as a gust of unseasonably cool air brushed her bare shoulders.
He pulled her silently into the foyer, closing the door behind them to block out the world, and put his arms around her again despite his conscience screaming in protest. He held her because it was something she needed as much as he needed it, something that could give him stability and a sense of control in a world spinning on an insane axis.
"Carter," he tried to say, but it came out as a groan as he found himself inspecting her impossibly even teeth with his tongue. Her hair was silver with rain, drops still clinging to her finely-boned face, and the pads of her fingers were slightly shriveled against the firm, rough skin of his jaw. "You should go before we do something we’ll regret."
"Don’t," she said. Questions about what they were doing, what it meant tightening like a vice around his throat made it impossible to speak. It wasn’t a request for anything more than a few moments, and he wasn’t able to force her away. Instead he bent his head so their foreheads touched, and when she cupped his face her hands were cold.
She looked at him raw emotion clearly visible; her face had been the same the day they’d been separated by a force field; lovely and full of pain. When it dawned on him that she was crying he wiped the tears away, touched his fingertips to his mouth. He’d made her cry, he’d hurt her the way he’d always told himself he refused to hurt her and it left him at a loss.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, Sam..." She had needed to stop the flood of words before they both drowned. Never taking her eyes from his, she had opened her arms and given herself eagerly to their mutual downfall pulling him back into another kiss.
****
Fallen, a vine wrapped around a rose, they lay in a whirlwind of mussed clothes and tangled limbs. It would look like something from a bad movie if someone were to walk into his bedroom right now. It would look like two people in flagrante, too stupid even to close the door all the way much less lock it.
But the funny part - if you absolutely had to find something funny in the midst of his world collapsing- was that they'd simply fallen asleep in each other's arms. Fully dressed, no less, despite being a bit disheveled; his flannel shirt hanging off the night table, his undershirt un-tucked, her dress was hanging in his bathroom and she’d changed into one of his academy t-shirts and a pair of boxers. Their shoes had been abandoned in the living room.
She’d called Pete, gave a hurried excuse about having to go to the base and had hung up with a soft ‘love you too’ that to Jack had stung more than a bullet wound.
He forced himself to stay awake and watched her dream, consuming every sleepy sigh as if it would be the last image of her he would have. The secret, naïve part of him that he kept hidden wished for it to last forever while the more cynical, part knew she’d be gone soon. Looking down, he saw her eyes, large and luminous and afraid; he was sure they were a mirror of his own.
“Is it morning?” her voice was sleepy and languid and felt like a caress. He shook his head fighting back the emotion that threatened as part of him wailed in despair.
"Tomorrow’s a long way off still, go back to sleep." It wasn’t, but whatever she saw in his expression seemed to reassure her. She said something into his flesh that he couldn’t quite make out, and her hand covered his resting over his heart. Jack’s eyesight dimmed. All he could see was their hands; his large and rough, her softer one still graced by the taunting glint of gold and diamond.
Her heart was hammering fit to burst, every nerve tingling as his fingers twined with hers and the walls he’d gradually been erecting crumbled.
“I can feel your heart beating.” His mouth moved slightly, as if the aftertaste of his statement was peculiar. But for once he didn’t clam up and after a moment he kept on talking, forcing the words through his instinctive defenses with obvious difficulty.
His only concession to self-preservation was the way his eyes dropped to stare at their entwined fingers as he spoke. “I imagined this so many times but I don’t remember your heart beating like this.
His words were whisper soft against her temple and Sam closed her eyes, not because she was afraid to hear him but because she wanted to feel the texture of the moment without distraction.
“First time we met… I just wanted to reach across that table and kiss you senseless.” He chuckled wryly. “Scared the hell out of me, I hadn’t felt anything like that since Sara and Charlie. It took me a long time to be able to admit I cared for you and once I did I fought like hell against it because I couldn’t deal with the thought of losing you too. Of you being afraid of me the way Sara was at the end.” She squeezed his hand and could think of nothing to say but the unadorned truth.
“I’ll never turn my back on you Jack. Whatever secret you share will never be enough to push me away. I’m stronger than she was. We could arm wrestle if you want proof.”
It was as if her words released him from the fear that was holding him back. Warm fingers around the back of her head, threading through her hair, his lips parted and a soft sound escaped as the last restraint snapped and he rolled onto his back and pulled her over him. Not rough, not gentle; but like coming home and flying into space all at once as she looked down at him.
“If we can’t have anything more than right now?” he said gazing at her, brushing her hair away so he could see her eyes. Sam trembled at the warm caress, her body coiled so tight in anticipation that she could barely move.
"I don’t care.” She moved against him in a slow silky glide and he moaned deep in his throat as she sank against him and grabbed her for support as they careened out of control.
“You will tomorrow,” he pushed her away and glanced at the window as if he could already see dawn lightening the sky. She ran her fingers over his face turning it away from the window and kissed him lightly, the touch gentle and bittersweet. “I know what I feel, what I need from you. You decide what you need.”
He felt ripped open waiting in the silence; all his defenses abandoned waiting for her to answer.
“Right now I need you.” Her lips closed over his again gently consuming him with the force of her emotion.
"That'll have to be enough." He breathed the words into her mouth and tightened his grip on her arms. The moment crashed over them both like thunder; all thought, all reason was lost beneath the relentless momentum of the kiss as it careened swiftly out of control. He was everywhere at once, his lips on her face, her throat; his hands in her hair. She found him too, hot flesh under his t-shirt, rough stubble beneath her lips, calloused texture of his fingers on her face and resting lightly along her throat just above her pulse.
"Beautiful," he murmured as his hands smoothed down her back and he pressed closer urging her legs around his hips. She pressed her face into the hollow of his neck and breathed in his unique scent. Wild, male and delicious; it soothed her.
Despite her bravado she was fragile as china; for reasons neither of them had ever understood she was vulnerable to him. He rolled her beneath him, sliding his leg between hers, and she felt the hard evidence of his desire against her. She instinctively moved against him, and he groaned.
"You're going to drive me totally crazy, aren't you?" he muttered against her lips.
Her heart pounding a mile a minute, she shook her head.
"If it hasn’t already happened…"
"You greatly underestimate yourself," he said in a wry voice and pulled back to yank his shirt over his head before kissing her again as he worked the shirt she wore over hers as well.
Heat roared through her. She loved the taste of him, and he touched her as if he knew exactly what would take her breath away and make her heart pound. Jack’s mouth traveled down her throat over her chest, his warm, avid mouth a vivid counterpoint to the softness of his lips and the coolness of the room.
A delicious combination of shock and desire coursed through her. She didn't have time to react before he skimmed one of his hands up her leg to her panties beneath his boxers. She let her fingers drift over the bare skin of his chest and over his belly fumbling slightly with his zipper as she found her way between his skin and jeans. A few moves left them both without clothes; she gazed at him for a moment and closed her eyes, scared, yet full of wanting, then opened her eyes and met his gaze when he moved no further.
"I don’t want to hurt you."
His eyes lit with dark fire, and he took her mouth, took her body and took the part of her heart she had managed to keep from him. He made love to her with fierce gentleness, seducing her response. He kissed her mouth and throat, caressed her breasts until she whimpered. He pressed his open mouth to her belly, she gasped; his damp mouth was like fire, his breath feathering across her skin like a slow, burning caress. She felt his hesitation in his touch, he held himself taut as a whipcord as though afraid of hurting her; his touch uncertain and ardently restrained.
"Touch me," she said on a ragged breath.
"Where?" he rasped as he nuzzled her belly, grazed her soft flesh with his teeth, laved her with his tongue. “How?”
She heard the hint of indecision in his question and let her legs fall further open in invitation as her fingers raked through his hair. Without a word he brushed his lips over her core and she bucked against him when his tongue grazed her clit. Despite his request for her to tell him what she wanted, he didn't need any instruction listening to the way her breath caught in her chest and the harried racing of her heart he finessed her with a lazy, rhythmic skill that kept her on the razor sharp precipice of release and made her restless and wild.
He deepened his exploration with two thick fingers his mouth closing over the tip of one breast; the breathtaking sensations went to her head in a dizzying rush, her legs quivered, went weak, and she cried out as pure, fiery bliss engulfed her.
He lifted her hips and surged forward, filling her before she’d reached the crest of her climax. Her back came off the bed as she took him in, his possession forcing a low moan from her throat as she curled against him his possession swift and shocking.
“Holy Hannah,” she gasped against his throat and he chuckled. He moved within her, slow at first, then faster, his hips pumping, straining, lifting her higher, until the only thing she was aware of was him inside her, filling her completely.
This was what he'd been looking for; this total, complete abandonment, a chance to let go of all his rigidly controlled barriers. All he could concentrate on was his desire for the woman beneath him, and his need to possess her.
He whispered her name into her hair over and over like a mantra and the desperate broken sound of the word on his lips tightened steel bands round her heart. For a sweet few moments he forgot this was a second choice, that the Air Force would always be between them and let himself believe if only for a second that he wouldn’t break her heart and she wouldn’t break his.
Jack’s hand grasped her hips almost roughly, holding her still as he bucked against her once, twice, and then toppled her over the other side of the swirling wash of color, following shortly thereafter. He shuddered and groaned her name one last time, a possessive sound of utter male satisfaction that rocked her entire world. He shifted onto his back beside her and pulled her close.
****
Dawn was playing its overture when he woke and found her missing from his bed. His heart gave a painful lurch, and he fought the emotions crashing over him, the enormity of their actions striking him hard before he saw her standing by the window.
She was wearing his t-shirt, the golden light made the bare skin of her legs glow like an otherworldly force.
“I should go, Pete is probably worried sick,” she spoke without turning to look at him and he closed his eyes before answering.
“He probably thinks you slept on base,” he wanted to say more but found himself unable to find the words as his hand closed over the soft denim of his jeans pulling them on.
“Don’t,” Her voice was whisper soft and faded into a tense silence for a long moment until she began to speak again with a rush of breath joining him on the bed. “I try so hard to act like it means nothing but it just gets harder to pretend; it's like I'm suffocating. It’s driving Pete and me apart because I can’t handle it; it was why I kept my relationships short and transient, why I always held back. But something about what happened last night feels right, feels like," he interrupted suddenly understanding.
"You're leaving." He could see it in her face, the denial she wanted to make being held back by the truth he'd already seen. Somehow he understood that she wasn't ready, maybe never would be, to have someone know her as intimately well as what they shared required. Or maybe he wasn’t ready and she could see it, knew she had to be the one who walked away because it would destroy him to hurt her by doing it himself.
"I have to." He lifted her chin and brushed her hair from her face. He kissed her softly his hands going to her hips as she clambered into his lap her arms wrapped around his neck.
She whimpered as he pulled her toward him; it was a revelation to Jack, the way women made tiny noises that in men would be unexceptional, but that in women are heart-wrenching things. He kissed her, years and years of unstolen kisses his for the taking now, over and over; he kissed her like it was the last time (and maybe it was) and she clung to him in a dizzy sort of whirl.
Somehow the fact that it was a sunny April morning, still early enough for the breeze to be chilly, rendered the desire he felt even more inappropriate. As though lust were like hard liquor, and six-thirty was just too early in the day for a decent person to be having it.
Each touch burned into his memory as the last, in each caress pleasure and loss warred for supremacy.
“Pete will be,” she began against his lips.
“He won’t miss you for a few more hours.” Jack answered without needed clarification, kissed her again, she curled against him bonelessly, her lips the barest weight against his own.
The silence and stillness seemed to last forever as if he was willing himself to remain still, to hold her until she was ready to let him go. He dipped his head resting his forehead against hers letting the moment stretch into an eternity that was shattered by the sound of her phone.
“Better get that. It might be the base,” He didn’t finish the thought; they both knew it was Pete and the sudden shame was overwhelming. She pushed herself back her feet touching the floor so she could stand. Rumpled and fresh from his bed she walked to the dresser and picked up the phone her gaze never leaving his as she answered.
“Carter,” he rose, picked up a T-shirt and pulled it over his head as she spoke. “I probably won’t be home until later; it was a long night.” He bent and kissed her again his lips brushing across her forehead in an almost platonic fashion before he disappeared into the hall. Her breath shuddered slightly as she continued to talk to Pete. “I’ll call you once dad gets here. I love you too.”
Sam could hear Jack in the kitchen, smelled the coffee as he turned on the pot but didn’t make a move to leave his bedroom after hanging up the phone; instead she turned and looked out the window at his yard. The world came awake around her, the sounds of the television news channel he’d tuned into, the smell of the bacon he’d started cooking had a strange dichotomy with the rustling of the earth waking up outside.
"You want breakfast?" His voice soft his tone asking another question entirely startled her; she barely found her voice to respond.
"Sort of," she choked a little on the words and let her head drop, her forehead resting against the cool glass before continuing. "I'll be out as soon as I grab a shower." For a long moment Jack didn't respond as though he could hear a shattered quality in her voice.
"I'm making pancakes. You might find some of your old stuff in the spare room. I think I’ve got clothes from the whole team in there," he said and she could hear him move away after another pause. Once she was sure he was gone she slipped into the shower letting the scalding water drown out the sound of her tears.
****
The dry cleaner had done wonders with the dress; she figured she only saw the water stains because she knew they’d been there.
Janet would have noticed, or at least she’d have known that some time in the last week something had happened. Mark’s wife was more focused on the flowers being a slightly different shade of pink than planned.
Not for the first time Sam missed her friend.
“You look beautiful kiddo.” She turned from the mirror, her face lighting which highlighted the fact that her expression before hadn’t been a joyous one.
“Dad,” she moved to hug him in a rustle of silk. “You made it.”
“Would I miss my little girl’s wedding?” It was an obviously facetious question since they both knew that business for the Tok’ra could have kept him away. Had kept him away earlier in the week when she’d needed him to tell her it was okay to cancel her wedding, to tell her that her night with Jack hadn’t been crazy. “I’d have been here earlier but you know how things are.”
“I do Dad; you’re here now that’s all that matters.” And Mark would stop making pointed comments about his absence. He hugged her again, stepped back and gave her a long look. “What?”
He just looked at her, she sighed.
“You sure about this?” He asked after a moment. “It isn’t too late sweetheart I could smuggle you out the back.”
“Dad!” She protested, shocked. “I’m getting married not signing up for a suicide mission. You don’t have to save me.”
“I just want to know you're going to be happy.” He told her, lifting her chin to look her in the eye and she was irrationally annoyed that he hadn’t been here earlier when she’d had the same worries.
“I am.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Now go get changed you only have an hour or so. And tell General Hammond he’s off the hook on walking me down the aisle.” She gave him a shove toward the door.
“I’m going,” he slipped out as quietly as he’d entered, glancing back to shake his head as he moved down the hall. “Stubborn girl,” he muttered to himself.
“I wonder where she gets that,” George Hammond Joined him in the hallway, smiled and clapped him on the back. “Jacob.”
“George, I hear I’m putting you out of a job.”
“You’re welcome to it. I know Sam wanted you to be here. And we’re already missing a few people that I’m sure are on her mind.”
“Her mother,” Jacob nodded. “And Doctor Frasier.”
“And General O’Neill.” There was a hint of something in Hammond’s tone that made Jacob look at him.
“Jack isn’t coming?” Hammond shook his head.
“He asked for a transfer you know. His change in status was approved yesterday. He’s probably been informed and is packing.”
“And you don’t think he’ll take a break to come to her wedding?” Hammond looked at him, a long serious, are you really that blind sort of look.
“Would you come watch her marry someone else if you were him?”
****
“You’re a damn fool.” Jack nearly fell off his deck at the voice behind him.
“General!” He righted himself and turned to look at the older man with a raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be… uh… at the church?”
“Good question. You have an answer?”
“It’s better for everyone if I’m not there.”
“Not for everyone.”
“For her then,” He took a drink from the beer he was holding and pulled a second out of the cooler and handed it to Hammond. “I just want her to be happy.”
“You aren’t convincing me to change my mind about the damn fool comment,” he took the beer and sat, pulled an envelope out of his pocket and offered it to Jack. He tore it open, scanned the paperwork inside and frowned.
“What is this?”
“Your new orders,” he sipped his beer.
“I asked for a transfer.”
“The Air Force and the IOA thought your skills would be better utilized this way.” Jack frowned.
“She’s getting married.”
“Not for another fifteen minutes.” Longer if Jacob had managed to delay things; he and his friend worked well together, and Daniel and Teal’c had readily agreed to assist.
“Let me get this straight…” Hammond interrupted offering him a pen.
“You don’t have time for that, just sign the damn things and let’s get out of here.” Jack stared at the papers for a moment and then put his hand out for the pen.
“Yes sir.” He signed handed the papers and pen back.
“Call me George son, and get a move on we only have ten minutes and you can’t go dressed like that.”
****
“What?” Sam stared incredulously at Daniel, glancing at the teenager sobbing in the corner. “Cassie calm down honey, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”
“H… h… he wanted to sit by her!” Cassie wailed again and Sam looked back at Daniel pleadingly, he shrugged.
“He probably just wanted someone his age to sit with during the ceremony.” Daniel tried, “Since you’re going to be busy.” Cassie continued to cry unabated and Sam decided there was nothing to do at the moment; she had other problems to deal with.
“Where did my dad take him?”
“I don’t have a clue, he just said they were going to have a ‘talk’ and walked off with him. Now we can’t find them.” Sam groaned, she could get by without her dad but she sort of needed a groom.
“What else could go wrong?” She muttered and Daniel made a noise in his throat. “What?”
“Well Teal’c was talking to the Reverend about the whole ceremony, it’s his first earth wedding, and they seem to have misplaced the officiant’s book. But he assures us he can do the ceremony from memory.”
“I’m having a stroke,” Sam said putting a hand to her head. “I have to be having a stroke. Go… find my dad and Pete, please. I’ll…” Cassie wailed again and Daniel wisely made his escape.
****
“We’re doing the right thing,” he said to Teal’c once he rejoined him in the hall. “Tell me we’re doing the right thing.”
“Indeed.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“We just have to make sure things work out, and then Sam won’t gut us.”
“I believe our chances are looking up.” Teal’c was looking down the hallway, and Daniel turned in time to see General Hammond coming toward them with Jack.
“Oh thank god.” He muttered and Hammond laughed.
“It can’t have been as bad as all that.”
“Jacob took Pete for a ‘walk’, Cassie has been faking a crying jag and Teal’c stole the offciant’s book. We’re at the bottom of the barrel here General.” He shot Jack a look, he was wearing a suit, and Daniel hadn’t even known Jack owned a suit. “Glad you brought reinforcements.”
“God go with you son,” Hammond clapped a hand on Jack’s shoulder and nodded at the door to the dressing room. “And not a moment too soon from the sound of things.”
Jack grimaced but he moved to knock on the door and was let in by a tear stained and obviously relieved looking Cassie.
“Oh thank God. She’s all yours.” She waved him inside, stepped into the hall and pulled the door closed behind her. There was a moment of silence as she looked at the three men in the hall way. “I hope we know what we’re doing.”
“It’ll be fine,” Hammond assured her, an arm around her shoulders as he led them down the hall. There was something right about it happening this way.
****
“Here,” Jacob handed his soon to be son in law a beer.
“Sir I don’t think…”
“Drink it son. We’re going to have a talk we should have had long before now.” Pete glanced at Jacob, he’d heard stories about the man from Mark, meeting him on his wedding day hadn’t been his ideal but okay he’d try.
“So you have one of those things in your head?” He sipped his beer. Jacob gave him a withering look that was more Selmac than Carter not that Pete knew that.
“You mean a hundreds of years old Tok’ra symbiote? Yeah. Selmac says hey.” Selmac had a thought that Jacob likened to snorting indelicately and Jacob sipped his beer.
“The ceremony is supposed to start right about.. uh.. now.” Pete said still holding his bottle.
“It’s going to be late; Air Force is having a... personnel issue.” Hey it wasn’t really a lie. Not entirely. “That’s the way it is sometimes, she’ll probably never be on time for dinner when it’s important.”
“Sir?” Pete finally sipped his beer, well okay he gulped. Jacob almost chuckled.
“It’s the life son, Air Force calls my little girl runs. You prepared for that?”
“I’d like to think I am.”
“Late nights, nights she doesn’t come home, missions where you don’t know if she’s alive or dead.”
“Once we have kids…” Jacob interrupted.
“Don’t say it. We both know you’ll be wrong.” Sam wouldn’t quit active duty, not while the Goa’uld were still a threat. Or if she did it wouldn’t make her happy. “She too important to the SGC.”
“There are other scientists.”
“She commands the premier team do you actually think her job is just sitting in the lab? That she’ll be happy doing it when the time comes and she quits to make you happy?”
“I haven’t asked her to quit.” He protested.
“You will,” Jacob drained his beer. “And I worry that you haven’t thought this through. Thought about the future. Not really. Not together.” He clapped a hand on Pete’s shoulder. “If you think you have, you know where the altar is, if not.. I think Sam would understand.”
Actually, he thought as he left Pete there to think about it all, he figured Sam would be grateful if Pete decided he didn’t want to get married. Assuming George and the rest of SG1 had done their parts.
****
“You look beautiful,” she turned when he spoke, hadn’t expected it to be him. “But better dry.”
“Daniel said you’d decided not to come.” And it had hurt, but she’d known he was right seeing him now made that clear. Her heart was pounding.
“George convinced me I needed to see you,” he pulled the envelope from Hammond out of his pocket and held it out to her. “He brought me my transfer.”
“You’re leaving?” She took the envelope and pulled the orders out. General Jonathan O’Neill was officially retired from the Air Force, and had been hired by the IOA as a civilian contractor in charge of the SGC.
“You’re being made full Colonel, in charge of the military personnel but you didn’t hear that from me. You’ll report directly to General Hammond at Planetary Security.”
“How did all this…” she looked at him. “I don’t understand if you had this in the works why didn’t you say something to stop all this?” She waved a hand.
“Can’t take any credit for it Sam,” he laughed wryly. “I’d asked to be transferred to the Alpha site; George came up with this himself I’m obviously not quite so good a poker face as I thought I was all these years. I signed my retirement papers less than an hour ago.”
“And now what?” She held the official letter with nerveless fingers. “I’m supposed to be getting married.”
“Don’t.”
It was all he said. It was her words again and she didn’t know what it meant this time. Don’t me make go. Don’t get married. Don’t... a million things. She didn’t have time to figure it out before he kissed her. Lightly and being careful not to mess her makeup or hair. A kiss goodbye if that was what she wanted.
She made a noise in the back of her throat and melted against him deepening the kiss and his hands clenched in the fabric of her dress.
When they broke for air she smiled crookedly.
“It’s the dress isn’t it? You just can’t resist a woman in white.”
“It’s you, not the dress.” He kissed her again folding her close. “If you go out there and marry that other guy now I’m going to feel pretty stupid.”
“I’m not. But I don’t know what I am going to do… what am I going to tell him?”
“Nothing I’m afraid.” Jacob was coming in through the main door. “He’s had a change of heart and told me to tell you no hard feelings. George and the boys are taking care of the guests, Daniel is relieved he won’t have to bunny hop at the reception since it isn’t one anymore. You’re not going to be getting married today.” He eyed them, Jack’s arms still around her, lipstick smeared. “Something tells me this won’t be a problem.”
“Dad, I…” Sam pulled away from Jack and moved toward Jacob who put up a hand.
“Are you happy?”
“Yes Dad.” He nodded, smiling, and kissed her cheek before turning a stern eye on Jack.
“You hurt her and they won’t find the body. You read me?”
“Yes sir.” Jacob nodded and headed to the door.
“I think if you look at those orders son you’ll find that they don’t become effective for two weeks. Take a vacation.” The door clicked closed again behind him and Sam turned to Jack, a shell shocked expression on her face.
“Did what I think just happened really just happen?”
“Your dad convinced Pete to cancel the wedding, we got the official go ahead from the U.S. government, our friends are holding your reception to keep the guests off our backs and your dad just green lit a vacation.” He summarized.
There was a long silence.
“How do you feel about fishing?” She asked turning to him He grinned and pulled her back into his arms.
“I have this cabin…”
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Notes: Incredible Lightness of Being - that feeling that is a part of the human spirit, that ingrained nature within us that knows when something is right and just.
He was perceptive.
He knew what Carter thought of him in times of personal crisis. He was the forgotten one, the one for whom chivalry wasn't dead, just filed away behind duty and words he wasn't allowed to say. He was the shoulder she always turned to.
They had carefully built walls between them with their relationships with the rest of the team, with their ranks and with the lovers that came and went in their own personal lives.
Something had changed after those days on the Prometheus. Something inside her had shifted; he’d seen it even though she still leaned on him when he and Teal’c found her on that planet a few weeks later.
Even though she still called him sir in a tone that felt like a caress.
Pete was a line in the sand, a final call to arms against the forbidden, barely acknowledged, thing that was between them and if he knew about the thing between them then he was smart enough to know he’d won and didn’t gloat.
Which meant Jack didn’t have to snap his neck.
Understanding that explained a lot that most of the SGC members were dying to ask but didn’t, her hastily planned wedding, Jack’s not quite secret relationship with Kerry, Pete’s overly friendly politeness when faced with Jack and the members of her team, even Jacob’s distance from the man who was going to become his son-in-law made sense when you know what Jack knew.
It was to be expected that Jack would need time, need to find a way to accept that she had found herself the life he had always wished her to have. He realized that the years spent in denial had at the most been only a taste of what was coming. He had written a simply worded request for transfer, it waited in a sealed envelope for Carter’s wedding and his chance to hand it to Hammond directly rather than sending it to D.C. He owed the other man that much, and the replacement he’d suggested would do the post proud. Hank Landry was a good man.
They needed a commander for the Alpha site, a post that he thought might be far enough away from his former 2IC to make his life bearable and he hoped Hammond would assign him there. The other man knew more than he’d let on, he’d said as much more than once, without saying anthing. Their friendship was another victim of the silence that had been imposed because of duty. It was hard to be close to a man you had to lie to day to day, but they’d adjusted. Jack thought that Hammond would empathize with the need to be away somewhere where he wouldn’t have to see her every day and if he didn’t Jack thought he could find an ally in Jacob and a home off planet.
He was prepared to let her go, but he hadn’t expected to find her standing on his porch nine days before the big event; the rain leaving streaks of grey on the pale ivory of her wedding dress. He hadn’t been prepared for her appearing like a drenched angel and burning up the carefully formed words he had prepared in his mind before he could even attempt to speak.
He wasn’t the one who people came to when they needed a shoulder, he never had been and likely never would be, but she had always leaned on him in times of crisis.
“Little over dressed for a social call,” he tried but couldn’t stop the flicker of pain that tightened his chest, the hard bitter edge in his voice that the shock of seeing her when he had thought he was safe had sharpened to a razor edge.
"I needed to..." Her eyes were soft, vulnerable, with rain darkening her eyelashes and highlighting the planes of her face and bare shoulders.
"Get a second opinion on the dress?" It was beyond crazy, watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she struggled for words. He needed her to tell him why she was standing on his porch with the rain ruining her wedding dress as much as she needed to say it.
Instead of speaking she placed one cold trembling hand against his cheek and brought her mouth to his.
As quickly as it had begun it ended, she took a few steps back out into the downpour unable or unwilling to meet his gaze and he stepped out into the setting dusk without noticing the rain saturating his hair and clothes and kissed her again.
“Why didn't you tell me not to do it? All you had to say was don't, but you just congratulated me and let me walk away.” she could see him trying to think back to pinpoint the moment he had made the decision to be happy for her, to congratulate her instead of asking her to reconsider, to wait for them.
"You deserve more than what I can give you," He closed his eyes and pulled away slightly so the porch light glinted off his rain spattered face. "You seemed so happy that I couldn't say it, I couldn't stop you from finding what we both know we're unlikely to find together. I thought if I didn't say anything you'd be able to let go. I wanted you to be..." He trailed off and looked down at her.
“You wanted me to be free,” She buried her face against his neck breathing in his scent and tightening her hands in the damp cloth that covered his chest as if afraid he would pull away again. She closed her eyes, shivering as a gust of unseasonably cool air brushed her bare shoulders.
He pulled her silently into the foyer, closing the door behind them to block out the world, and put his arms around her again despite his conscience screaming in protest. He held her because it was something she needed as much as he needed it, something that could give him stability and a sense of control in a world spinning on an insane axis.
"Carter," he tried to say, but it came out as a groan as he found himself inspecting her impossibly even teeth with his tongue. Her hair was silver with rain, drops still clinging to her finely-boned face, and the pads of her fingers were slightly shriveled against the firm, rough skin of his jaw. "You should go before we do something we’ll regret."
"Don’t," she said. Questions about what they were doing, what it meant tightening like a vice around his throat made it impossible to speak. It wasn’t a request for anything more than a few moments, and he wasn’t able to force her away. Instead he bent his head so their foreheads touched, and when she cupped his face her hands were cold.
She looked at him raw emotion clearly visible; her face had been the same the day they’d been separated by a force field; lovely and full of pain. When it dawned on him that she was crying he wiped the tears away, touched his fingertips to his mouth. He’d made her cry, he’d hurt her the way he’d always told himself he refused to hurt her and it left him at a loss.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, Sam..." She had needed to stop the flood of words before they both drowned. Never taking her eyes from his, she had opened her arms and given herself eagerly to their mutual downfall pulling him back into another kiss.
****
Fallen, a vine wrapped around a rose, they lay in a whirlwind of mussed clothes and tangled limbs. It would look like something from a bad movie if someone were to walk into his bedroom right now. It would look like two people in flagrante, too stupid even to close the door all the way much less lock it.
But the funny part - if you absolutely had to find something funny in the midst of his world collapsing- was that they'd simply fallen asleep in each other's arms. Fully dressed, no less, despite being a bit disheveled; his flannel shirt hanging off the night table, his undershirt un-tucked, her dress was hanging in his bathroom and she’d changed into one of his academy t-shirts and a pair of boxers. Their shoes had been abandoned in the living room.
She’d called Pete, gave a hurried excuse about having to go to the base and had hung up with a soft ‘love you too’ that to Jack had stung more than a bullet wound.
He forced himself to stay awake and watched her dream, consuming every sleepy sigh as if it would be the last image of her he would have. The secret, naïve part of him that he kept hidden wished for it to last forever while the more cynical, part knew she’d be gone soon. Looking down, he saw her eyes, large and luminous and afraid; he was sure they were a mirror of his own.
“Is it morning?” her voice was sleepy and languid and felt like a caress. He shook his head fighting back the emotion that threatened as part of him wailed in despair.
"Tomorrow’s a long way off still, go back to sleep." It wasn’t, but whatever she saw in his expression seemed to reassure her. She said something into his flesh that he couldn’t quite make out, and her hand covered his resting over his heart. Jack’s eyesight dimmed. All he could see was their hands; his large and rough, her softer one still graced by the taunting glint of gold and diamond.
Her heart was hammering fit to burst, every nerve tingling as his fingers twined with hers and the walls he’d gradually been erecting crumbled.
“I can feel your heart beating.” His mouth moved slightly, as if the aftertaste of his statement was peculiar. But for once he didn’t clam up and after a moment he kept on talking, forcing the words through his instinctive defenses with obvious difficulty.
His only concession to self-preservation was the way his eyes dropped to stare at their entwined fingers as he spoke. “I imagined this so many times but I don’t remember your heart beating like this.
His words were whisper soft against her temple and Sam closed her eyes, not because she was afraid to hear him but because she wanted to feel the texture of the moment without distraction.
“First time we met… I just wanted to reach across that table and kiss you senseless.” He chuckled wryly. “Scared the hell out of me, I hadn’t felt anything like that since Sara and Charlie. It took me a long time to be able to admit I cared for you and once I did I fought like hell against it because I couldn’t deal with the thought of losing you too. Of you being afraid of me the way Sara was at the end.” She squeezed his hand and could think of nothing to say but the unadorned truth.
“I’ll never turn my back on you Jack. Whatever secret you share will never be enough to push me away. I’m stronger than she was. We could arm wrestle if you want proof.”
It was as if her words released him from the fear that was holding him back. Warm fingers around the back of her head, threading through her hair, his lips parted and a soft sound escaped as the last restraint snapped and he rolled onto his back and pulled her over him. Not rough, not gentle; but like coming home and flying into space all at once as she looked down at him.
“If we can’t have anything more than right now?” he said gazing at her, brushing her hair away so he could see her eyes. Sam trembled at the warm caress, her body coiled so tight in anticipation that she could barely move.
"I don’t care.” She moved against him in a slow silky glide and he moaned deep in his throat as she sank against him and grabbed her for support as they careened out of control.
“You will tomorrow,” he pushed her away and glanced at the window as if he could already see dawn lightening the sky. She ran her fingers over his face turning it away from the window and kissed him lightly, the touch gentle and bittersweet. “I know what I feel, what I need from you. You decide what you need.”
He felt ripped open waiting in the silence; all his defenses abandoned waiting for her to answer.
“Right now I need you.” Her lips closed over his again gently consuming him with the force of her emotion.
"That'll have to be enough." He breathed the words into her mouth and tightened his grip on her arms. The moment crashed over them both like thunder; all thought, all reason was lost beneath the relentless momentum of the kiss as it careened swiftly out of control. He was everywhere at once, his lips on her face, her throat; his hands in her hair. She found him too, hot flesh under his t-shirt, rough stubble beneath her lips, calloused texture of his fingers on her face and resting lightly along her throat just above her pulse.
"Beautiful," he murmured as his hands smoothed down her back and he pressed closer urging her legs around his hips. She pressed her face into the hollow of his neck and breathed in his unique scent. Wild, male and delicious; it soothed her.
Despite her bravado she was fragile as china; for reasons neither of them had ever understood she was vulnerable to him. He rolled her beneath him, sliding his leg between hers, and she felt the hard evidence of his desire against her. She instinctively moved against him, and he groaned.
"You're going to drive me totally crazy, aren't you?" he muttered against her lips.
Her heart pounding a mile a minute, she shook her head.
"If it hasn’t already happened…"
"You greatly underestimate yourself," he said in a wry voice and pulled back to yank his shirt over his head before kissing her again as he worked the shirt she wore over hers as well.
Heat roared through her. She loved the taste of him, and he touched her as if he knew exactly what would take her breath away and make her heart pound. Jack’s mouth traveled down her throat over her chest, his warm, avid mouth a vivid counterpoint to the softness of his lips and the coolness of the room.
A delicious combination of shock and desire coursed through her. She didn't have time to react before he skimmed one of his hands up her leg to her panties beneath his boxers. She let her fingers drift over the bare skin of his chest and over his belly fumbling slightly with his zipper as she found her way between his skin and jeans. A few moves left them both without clothes; she gazed at him for a moment and closed her eyes, scared, yet full of wanting, then opened her eyes and met his gaze when he moved no further.
"I don’t want to hurt you."
His eyes lit with dark fire, and he took her mouth, took her body and took the part of her heart she had managed to keep from him. He made love to her with fierce gentleness, seducing her response. He kissed her mouth and throat, caressed her breasts until she whimpered. He pressed his open mouth to her belly, she gasped; his damp mouth was like fire, his breath feathering across her skin like a slow, burning caress. She felt his hesitation in his touch, he held himself taut as a whipcord as though afraid of hurting her; his touch uncertain and ardently restrained.
"Touch me," she said on a ragged breath.
"Where?" he rasped as he nuzzled her belly, grazed her soft flesh with his teeth, laved her with his tongue. “How?”
She heard the hint of indecision in his question and let her legs fall further open in invitation as her fingers raked through his hair. Without a word he brushed his lips over her core and she bucked against him when his tongue grazed her clit. Despite his request for her to tell him what she wanted, he didn't need any instruction listening to the way her breath caught in her chest and the harried racing of her heart he finessed her with a lazy, rhythmic skill that kept her on the razor sharp precipice of release and made her restless and wild.
He deepened his exploration with two thick fingers his mouth closing over the tip of one breast; the breathtaking sensations went to her head in a dizzying rush, her legs quivered, went weak, and she cried out as pure, fiery bliss engulfed her.
He lifted her hips and surged forward, filling her before she’d reached the crest of her climax. Her back came off the bed as she took him in, his possession forcing a low moan from her throat as she curled against him his possession swift and shocking.
“Holy Hannah,” she gasped against his throat and he chuckled. He moved within her, slow at first, then faster, his hips pumping, straining, lifting her higher, until the only thing she was aware of was him inside her, filling her completely.
This was what he'd been looking for; this total, complete abandonment, a chance to let go of all his rigidly controlled barriers. All he could concentrate on was his desire for the woman beneath him, and his need to possess her.
He whispered her name into her hair over and over like a mantra and the desperate broken sound of the word on his lips tightened steel bands round her heart. For a sweet few moments he forgot this was a second choice, that the Air Force would always be between them and let himself believe if only for a second that he wouldn’t break her heart and she wouldn’t break his.
Jack’s hand grasped her hips almost roughly, holding her still as he bucked against her once, twice, and then toppled her over the other side of the swirling wash of color, following shortly thereafter. He shuddered and groaned her name one last time, a possessive sound of utter male satisfaction that rocked her entire world. He shifted onto his back beside her and pulled her close.
****
Dawn was playing its overture when he woke and found her missing from his bed. His heart gave a painful lurch, and he fought the emotions crashing over him, the enormity of their actions striking him hard before he saw her standing by the window.
She was wearing his t-shirt, the golden light made the bare skin of her legs glow like an otherworldly force.
“I should go, Pete is probably worried sick,” she spoke without turning to look at him and he closed his eyes before answering.
“He probably thinks you slept on base,” he wanted to say more but found himself unable to find the words as his hand closed over the soft denim of his jeans pulling them on.
“Don’t,” Her voice was whisper soft and faded into a tense silence for a long moment until she began to speak again with a rush of breath joining him on the bed. “I try so hard to act like it means nothing but it just gets harder to pretend; it's like I'm suffocating. It’s driving Pete and me apart because I can’t handle it; it was why I kept my relationships short and transient, why I always held back. But something about what happened last night feels right, feels like," he interrupted suddenly understanding.
"You're leaving." He could see it in her face, the denial she wanted to make being held back by the truth he'd already seen. Somehow he understood that she wasn't ready, maybe never would be, to have someone know her as intimately well as what they shared required. Or maybe he wasn’t ready and she could see it, knew she had to be the one who walked away because it would destroy him to hurt her by doing it himself.
"I have to." He lifted her chin and brushed her hair from her face. He kissed her softly his hands going to her hips as she clambered into his lap her arms wrapped around his neck.
She whimpered as he pulled her toward him; it was a revelation to Jack, the way women made tiny noises that in men would be unexceptional, but that in women are heart-wrenching things. He kissed her, years and years of unstolen kisses his for the taking now, over and over; he kissed her like it was the last time (and maybe it was) and she clung to him in a dizzy sort of whirl.
Somehow the fact that it was a sunny April morning, still early enough for the breeze to be chilly, rendered the desire he felt even more inappropriate. As though lust were like hard liquor, and six-thirty was just too early in the day for a decent person to be having it.
Each touch burned into his memory as the last, in each caress pleasure and loss warred for supremacy.
“Pete will be,” she began against his lips.
“He won’t miss you for a few more hours.” Jack answered without needed clarification, kissed her again, she curled against him bonelessly, her lips the barest weight against his own.
The silence and stillness seemed to last forever as if he was willing himself to remain still, to hold her until she was ready to let him go. He dipped his head resting his forehead against hers letting the moment stretch into an eternity that was shattered by the sound of her phone.
“Better get that. It might be the base,” He didn’t finish the thought; they both knew it was Pete and the sudden shame was overwhelming. She pushed herself back her feet touching the floor so she could stand. Rumpled and fresh from his bed she walked to the dresser and picked up the phone her gaze never leaving his as she answered.
“Carter,” he rose, picked up a T-shirt and pulled it over his head as she spoke. “I probably won’t be home until later; it was a long night.” He bent and kissed her again his lips brushing across her forehead in an almost platonic fashion before he disappeared into the hall. Her breath shuddered slightly as she continued to talk to Pete. “I’ll call you once dad gets here. I love you too.”
Sam could hear Jack in the kitchen, smelled the coffee as he turned on the pot but didn’t make a move to leave his bedroom after hanging up the phone; instead she turned and looked out the window at his yard. The world came awake around her, the sounds of the television news channel he’d tuned into, the smell of the bacon he’d started cooking had a strange dichotomy with the rustling of the earth waking up outside.
"You want breakfast?" His voice soft his tone asking another question entirely startled her; she barely found her voice to respond.
"Sort of," she choked a little on the words and let her head drop, her forehead resting against the cool glass before continuing. "I'll be out as soon as I grab a shower." For a long moment Jack didn't respond as though he could hear a shattered quality in her voice.
"I'm making pancakes. You might find some of your old stuff in the spare room. I think I’ve got clothes from the whole team in there," he said and she could hear him move away after another pause. Once she was sure he was gone she slipped into the shower letting the scalding water drown out the sound of her tears.
****
The dry cleaner had done wonders with the dress; she figured she only saw the water stains because she knew they’d been there.
Janet would have noticed, or at least she’d have known that some time in the last week something had happened. Mark’s wife was more focused on the flowers being a slightly different shade of pink than planned.
Not for the first time Sam missed her friend.
“You look beautiful kiddo.” She turned from the mirror, her face lighting which highlighted the fact that her expression before hadn’t been a joyous one.
“Dad,” she moved to hug him in a rustle of silk. “You made it.”
“Would I miss my little girl’s wedding?” It was an obviously facetious question since they both knew that business for the Tok’ra could have kept him away. Had kept him away earlier in the week when she’d needed him to tell her it was okay to cancel her wedding, to tell her that her night with Jack hadn’t been crazy. “I’d have been here earlier but you know how things are.”
“I do Dad; you’re here now that’s all that matters.” And Mark would stop making pointed comments about his absence. He hugged her again, stepped back and gave her a long look. “What?”
He just looked at her, she sighed.
“You sure about this?” He asked after a moment. “It isn’t too late sweetheart I could smuggle you out the back.”
“Dad!” She protested, shocked. “I’m getting married not signing up for a suicide mission. You don’t have to save me.”
“I just want to know you're going to be happy.” He told her, lifting her chin to look her in the eye and she was irrationally annoyed that he hadn’t been here earlier when she’d had the same worries.
“I am.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Now go get changed you only have an hour or so. And tell General Hammond he’s off the hook on walking me down the aisle.” She gave him a shove toward the door.
“I’m going,” he slipped out as quietly as he’d entered, glancing back to shake his head as he moved down the hall. “Stubborn girl,” he muttered to himself.
“I wonder where she gets that,” George Hammond Joined him in the hallway, smiled and clapped him on the back. “Jacob.”
“George, I hear I’m putting you out of a job.”
“You’re welcome to it. I know Sam wanted you to be here. And we’re already missing a few people that I’m sure are on her mind.”
“Her mother,” Jacob nodded. “And Doctor Frasier.”
“And General O’Neill.” There was a hint of something in Hammond’s tone that made Jacob look at him.
“Jack isn’t coming?” Hammond shook his head.
“He asked for a transfer you know. His change in status was approved yesterday. He’s probably been informed and is packing.”
“And you don’t think he’ll take a break to come to her wedding?” Hammond looked at him, a long serious, are you really that blind sort of look.
“Would you come watch her marry someone else if you were him?”
****
“You’re a damn fool.” Jack nearly fell off his deck at the voice behind him.
“General!” He righted himself and turned to look at the older man with a raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be… uh… at the church?”
“Good question. You have an answer?”
“It’s better for everyone if I’m not there.”
“Not for everyone.”
“For her then,” He took a drink from the beer he was holding and pulled a second out of the cooler and handed it to Hammond. “I just want her to be happy.”
“You aren’t convincing me to change my mind about the damn fool comment,” he took the beer and sat, pulled an envelope out of his pocket and offered it to Jack. He tore it open, scanned the paperwork inside and frowned.
“What is this?”
“Your new orders,” he sipped his beer.
“I asked for a transfer.”
“The Air Force and the IOA thought your skills would be better utilized this way.” Jack frowned.
“She’s getting married.”
“Not for another fifteen minutes.” Longer if Jacob had managed to delay things; he and his friend worked well together, and Daniel and Teal’c had readily agreed to assist.
“Let me get this straight…” Hammond interrupted offering him a pen.
“You don’t have time for that, just sign the damn things and let’s get out of here.” Jack stared at the papers for a moment and then put his hand out for the pen.
“Yes sir.” He signed handed the papers and pen back.
“Call me George son, and get a move on we only have ten minutes and you can’t go dressed like that.”
****
“What?” Sam stared incredulously at Daniel, glancing at the teenager sobbing in the corner. “Cassie calm down honey, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”
“H… h… he wanted to sit by her!” Cassie wailed again and Sam looked back at Daniel pleadingly, he shrugged.
“He probably just wanted someone his age to sit with during the ceremony.” Daniel tried, “Since you’re going to be busy.” Cassie continued to cry unabated and Sam decided there was nothing to do at the moment; she had other problems to deal with.
“Where did my dad take him?”
“I don’t have a clue, he just said they were going to have a ‘talk’ and walked off with him. Now we can’t find them.” Sam groaned, she could get by without her dad but she sort of needed a groom.
“What else could go wrong?” She muttered and Daniel made a noise in his throat. “What?”
“Well Teal’c was talking to the Reverend about the whole ceremony, it’s his first earth wedding, and they seem to have misplaced the officiant’s book. But he assures us he can do the ceremony from memory.”
“I’m having a stroke,” Sam said putting a hand to her head. “I have to be having a stroke. Go… find my dad and Pete, please. I’ll…” Cassie wailed again and Daniel wisely made his escape.
****
“We’re doing the right thing,” he said to Teal’c once he rejoined him in the hall. “Tell me we’re doing the right thing.”
“Indeed.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“We just have to make sure things work out, and then Sam won’t gut us.”
“I believe our chances are looking up.” Teal’c was looking down the hallway, and Daniel turned in time to see General Hammond coming toward them with Jack.
“Oh thank god.” He muttered and Hammond laughed.
“It can’t have been as bad as all that.”
“Jacob took Pete for a ‘walk’, Cassie has been faking a crying jag and Teal’c stole the offciant’s book. We’re at the bottom of the barrel here General.” He shot Jack a look, he was wearing a suit, and Daniel hadn’t even known Jack owned a suit. “Glad you brought reinforcements.”
“God go with you son,” Hammond clapped a hand on Jack’s shoulder and nodded at the door to the dressing room. “And not a moment too soon from the sound of things.”
Jack grimaced but he moved to knock on the door and was let in by a tear stained and obviously relieved looking Cassie.
“Oh thank God. She’s all yours.” She waved him inside, stepped into the hall and pulled the door closed behind her. There was a moment of silence as she looked at the three men in the hall way. “I hope we know what we’re doing.”
“It’ll be fine,” Hammond assured her, an arm around her shoulders as he led them down the hall. There was something right about it happening this way.
****
“Here,” Jacob handed his soon to be son in law a beer.
“Sir I don’t think…”
“Drink it son. We’re going to have a talk we should have had long before now.” Pete glanced at Jacob, he’d heard stories about the man from Mark, meeting him on his wedding day hadn’t been his ideal but okay he’d try.
“So you have one of those things in your head?” He sipped his beer. Jacob gave him a withering look that was more Selmac than Carter not that Pete knew that.
“You mean a hundreds of years old Tok’ra symbiote? Yeah. Selmac says hey.” Selmac had a thought that Jacob likened to snorting indelicately and Jacob sipped his beer.
“The ceremony is supposed to start right about.. uh.. now.” Pete said still holding his bottle.
“It’s going to be late; Air Force is having a... personnel issue.” Hey it wasn’t really a lie. Not entirely. “That’s the way it is sometimes, she’ll probably never be on time for dinner when it’s important.”
“Sir?” Pete finally sipped his beer, well okay he gulped. Jacob almost chuckled.
“It’s the life son, Air Force calls my little girl runs. You prepared for that?”
“I’d like to think I am.”
“Late nights, nights she doesn’t come home, missions where you don’t know if she’s alive or dead.”
“Once we have kids…” Jacob interrupted.
“Don’t say it. We both know you’ll be wrong.” Sam wouldn’t quit active duty, not while the Goa’uld were still a threat. Or if she did it wouldn’t make her happy. “She too important to the SGC.”
“There are other scientists.”
“She commands the premier team do you actually think her job is just sitting in the lab? That she’ll be happy doing it when the time comes and she quits to make you happy?”
“I haven’t asked her to quit.” He protested.
“You will,” Jacob drained his beer. “And I worry that you haven’t thought this through. Thought about the future. Not really. Not together.” He clapped a hand on Pete’s shoulder. “If you think you have, you know where the altar is, if not.. I think Sam would understand.”
Actually, he thought as he left Pete there to think about it all, he figured Sam would be grateful if Pete decided he didn’t want to get married. Assuming George and the rest of SG1 had done their parts.
****
“You look beautiful,” she turned when he spoke, hadn’t expected it to be him. “But better dry.”
“Daniel said you’d decided not to come.” And it had hurt, but she’d known he was right seeing him now made that clear. Her heart was pounding.
“George convinced me I needed to see you,” he pulled the envelope from Hammond out of his pocket and held it out to her. “He brought me my transfer.”
“You’re leaving?” She took the envelope and pulled the orders out. General Jonathan O’Neill was officially retired from the Air Force, and had been hired by the IOA as a civilian contractor in charge of the SGC.
“You’re being made full Colonel, in charge of the military personnel but you didn’t hear that from me. You’ll report directly to General Hammond at Planetary Security.”
“How did all this…” she looked at him. “I don’t understand if you had this in the works why didn’t you say something to stop all this?” She waved a hand.
“Can’t take any credit for it Sam,” he laughed wryly. “I’d asked to be transferred to the Alpha site; George came up with this himself I’m obviously not quite so good a poker face as I thought I was all these years. I signed my retirement papers less than an hour ago.”
“And now what?” She held the official letter with nerveless fingers. “I’m supposed to be getting married.”
“Don’t.”
It was all he said. It was her words again and she didn’t know what it meant this time. Don’t me make go. Don’t get married. Don’t... a million things. She didn’t have time to figure it out before he kissed her. Lightly and being careful not to mess her makeup or hair. A kiss goodbye if that was what she wanted.
She made a noise in the back of her throat and melted against him deepening the kiss and his hands clenched in the fabric of her dress.
When they broke for air she smiled crookedly.
“It’s the dress isn’t it? You just can’t resist a woman in white.”
“It’s you, not the dress.” He kissed her again folding her close. “If you go out there and marry that other guy now I’m going to feel pretty stupid.”
“I’m not. But I don’t know what I am going to do… what am I going to tell him?”
“Nothing I’m afraid.” Jacob was coming in through the main door. “He’s had a change of heart and told me to tell you no hard feelings. George and the boys are taking care of the guests, Daniel is relieved he won’t have to bunny hop at the reception since it isn’t one anymore. You’re not going to be getting married today.” He eyed them, Jack’s arms still around her, lipstick smeared. “Something tells me this won’t be a problem.”
“Dad, I…” Sam pulled away from Jack and moved toward Jacob who put up a hand.
“Are you happy?”
“Yes Dad.” He nodded, smiling, and kissed her cheek before turning a stern eye on Jack.
“You hurt her and they won’t find the body. You read me?”
“Yes sir.” Jacob nodded and headed to the door.
“I think if you look at those orders son you’ll find that they don’t become effective for two weeks. Take a vacation.” The door clicked closed again behind him and Sam turned to Jack, a shell shocked expression on her face.
“Did what I think just happened really just happen?”
“Your dad convinced Pete to cancel the wedding, we got the official go ahead from the U.S. government, our friends are holding your reception to keep the guests off our backs and your dad just green lit a vacation.” He summarized.
There was a long silence.
“How do you feel about fishing?” She asked turning to him He grinned and pulled her back into his arms.
“I have this cabin…”