I want you to know that I still think of you as my wee sister and that you never annoyed me or made me mad. I ♥ you and things will be better when the hormonial stuff goes away.
I was always willing to be your friend and write with you, get you into writing with a group, but...it takes two. I get the impression you don't really want to talk to me or Jade. You've forgotten about us. It hurts. I thought we were supposed to be your friends.
But all the same. We're still here. I wish you only the best and I hope you feel better.
I-I know. I always felt that I wasn't funny enough to talk to you, and was really boring you, though, as crazy as that sounds. While I seem to be able to know when my friends are feeling badly, I'm terrible at knowing when they want to talk to me or not. I haven't forgotten about you two at all. I would love to talk to you again, both of you! I'm so sorry that I've hurt you, I really am. Ugh, I just need to get over my fear of IMing people and fitting in and just act like myself.
Now I feel really bad. >: I'm so sorry. Asafsljdjf.
It was never that. I don't get how you would have to be 'funny' to talk to me. Well...months of no contact will kind of do that. If you want to talk to us then talk to us. We're still here.
You need to realize how many people like you and it doesn't matter whether you share someone's sense of humour; whether you feel like they like you; whether you actually come first. Form connections and love people and put them first -- genuinely put them first without worrying about their feelings about you or expecting something in return. Selflessly care about people and they will return this behaviour in kind even if it isn't who you want it to be right away. I mean hell, I did something nice for you when I barely knew you. You're not a bad person. You deserve nice things.
And I'm sure you still come first for some people. I have known a handful of people for whom you've come first, but whether you have seen that or if it's something that is still there is something I don't know. You need to get better at realizing what is there when it's there as opposed to what you think is or isn't there. You also need to let go of the world as it was and all your past relationships in relation to the way things were. These things
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I actually don't think any of what you said was harsh at all, and I definitely don't think that you're scolding me. In fact, I view a lot of it as the truth, now that you've written it all out like that. It probably is the truth that I've just convinced myself that people don't like me and I'm not funny enough to fit in and all of that. No, I know that I definitely have. I see friends interacting with other people and I'm always like "...why can't I do that...?" while forgetting all the moments that I have. I'm my own worst critic, really, and it's grown to an absolutely ridiculous level
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fhkajlhkj I'm going through like the same thing. :( It's so hard to take the first step in making friends. WHY SO HARD. I have more trouble with it irl though. I just listen then freak out when it's my turn to talk lol.
Oh god, yeah, the first steps are always the most difficult. WAY TOO HARD FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. Irl, though... Yeah, I'm the type that loves to just sit back and listen in conversation, so it can be difficult for me. Then again, one of the people who told me I'm impossible to talk to online was really surprised when they met me, as I refused to shut up. I'm unpredictable.
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But all the same. We're still here. I wish you only the best and I hope you feel better.
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Now I feel really bad. >: I'm so sorry. Asafsljdjf.
♥ Thank you.
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You're welcome but I'm not sure for what?
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expect an IM from me someday soon. you'll be my first victim in my attempt to overcome my fear.
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I would love that, as well as helping you to overcome your fear. ♥
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And I'm sure you still come first for some people. I have known a handful of people for whom you've come first, but whether you have seen that or if it's something that is still there is something I don't know. You need to get better at realizing what is there when it's there as opposed to what you think is or isn't there. You also need to let go of the world as it was and all your past relationships in relation to the way things were. These things ( ... )
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duuuude word about the IM thing. Just...word. 8(
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Seriosly. :[[
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