Fanfic: Ephemera -- Alicia/Kalinda

[schwarmerei1]

Title: Ephemera
Author: schwarmerei1
Rating: PG
Fandom: The Good Wife
Characters: Alicia Florrick, Kalinda Sharma
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda
Warnings: Language
Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect, CBS, Scott Free, and the Kings own them
Spoilers: Through episode 5:03 "A Precious Commodity" including the Season 5 promo

Comments

[needle428]

This is soooooo saaad. And yet I'd take this...some sort of recognition of who these characters used to be. I want my show back. If the Kings don't make it right this year, we will have officially had more bad Kalinda seasons than good ones and that is really not ok.

[schwarmerei1]

I want to not feel the way I do about the show too. It's not so much being in a shipping hole, but just the feeling that SOMETHING HAPPENED, something not organic that was created in the writers' room is really hard to move past when watching.

[hotladykisses]

Wow schwarmerei, your fic is beautiful (and yes, so sad). Poor K has a bad thing going on with elevators, she should always choose the stairs instead! Just (half-)joking: it is so K to remain loyal to the very end, to endure the mourning of packing her beloved one’s things, and to stand straight on Alicia’s doorstep, after yet another unrequited favour. K’s thoughts felt very true. And indeed, I wonder why Cary wouldn’t throw Alicia into the deal to convince K to come with him: jealousy? He would have known this was more than enough to win K over. Also, I love the symbol of the change of address card, and K’s final gesture

[schwarmerei1]

I wonder about Cary's switch to Robyn. I think it was because he has such mixed feelings about Kalinda - he wants her, he hates the fact that she has a hold on him but he doesn't in any way on her, he hates the fact that she takes away his power and is something people (the other 4th years in this case) can use against him.

I think a bit like Alicia leaving in part to get away from Will, it might seem easier to leave behind Kalinda and the drama she creates inside him.

I know we're all a bit down on the show at the moment, but it's kind of amazing how it's managed to create three such completely different unrequited relationships in A/W. A/K and C/K don't you think?

We have to get a face-to-face scene between them. We must!

[hotladykisses]

Yeah, it probably would have been difficult for Cary to be comfortable with hiring K, since every fourth year seems to know he has a major crush on her (well, who doesn’t? ^^)

You’re quite right, love on TGW is something very pessimistically depicted, either people’s love is betrayed into nothingness, like Alicia’s for Peter (or for Kalinda?), or people love someone who doesn’t care about them. Even young Zach dumps his lovely girlfriend Nisa for some dispassionate reason. I used to think that the perfect couple on this show was Will/Diane, but now look! Kings, I assure you: sometimes people in love are actually happy, possibly for a long time!

I hope we’ll get a face-to-face: it’s an opportunity for heartbreakingly good drama!

[ll10e6]

I think you are exactly right-- Kalinda would do this for Alicia, and couldn't help herself, even if she wanted to.

It's very sad. I hope that before too long, we have some reason to feel something more cheerful. sigh.

Thanks for giving voice to the collective malaise...

[schwarmerei1]

I cannot imagine Kalinda letting some office flunkie go through Alicia's desk to box up her personal items.

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

So I'm going to assume that that part at least will really happen.

[randomizer]

This? Is wonderful. I love it! Are you planning additional chapters? Why isn't it on AO3?

[schwarmerei1]

This was an impulsive "I feel so freaking sad" fic that was written mostly prior to 5:03 airing. And then I wanted to get it out to Breakfast Club before something canon-invalidating happened! So basically I bypassed a beta read instead of sending an email saying "Do this immediately! I have urges!" :D So intention is to post to comms, AO3 and FFnet after that's happened. It's not super-secret or anything...

Gosh though, I hadn't thought of it being ongoing. I don't mean to be so bleak... What would you do from here?

[sweetjamielee]

THIS IS SO SAD. I just think of how useless and foolish Kalinda must feel now, how desperate to be rid of the POX of caring about Alicia Florrick. It hurts so much, and you have conveyed that so poignantly here.

FIX IT. SOMEONE. ANYONE. THIS ISN'T FAIR. :'(

[schwarmerei1]

I just think of how useless and foolish Kalinda must feel now

In case you haven't guessed, I've been on the Kalinda end of two unrequited things ;-) and yeah - the moment where you realise just how futile it is can be soul-destroying. I would like to thank one of my Alicia's for being very nice about it though! I remember her with great fondness. The other one less so...

[sweetjamielee]

See, I never have. And it's not because I'm so awesome that nobody could ever unrequite me, it's because I am SO SENSITIVE to that feeling of foolishness that if I ever even got a WHIFF that my feelings weren't returned (or even if it's ambiguous enough to not know one way or the other), I wouldn't touch the situation with a 10 foot pole. It's probably not the most mature thing about me, but I can't even deal. That's a BIG reason why Kalinda's obvious pain is so uncomfortable to me, especially when she's so damn worthy of having her love returned. Our poor baby. D: D:

[schwarmerei1]

Yes, poor me! Oh - you meant Kalinda... :D

That's interesting, I thought this happened to everyone. And it's a big part of why I find Kalinda so personally resonant. I'd hazard a guess that the same-sex oriented have a much greater chance of falling for someone who really can't return their feelings though.