Isn't that a bloody awful way to run a customer service department?
Customer: I wish to complain about THING Amazon: cat /var/mail/complaintsdept | sed s/.*(list|of|THINGS).*/\1 is bloody excellent, so ner!/ > outgoing_mail_bucket (roughly)
"We find the service offered by [DelveryCompany_Name] to be excellent and this is primarily the reason why we are using their services. The vast majority of our orders are usually delivered well within the expected delivery time, however, occasionally a package may be damaged or delayed, perhaps even lost during the delivery process. This is not a common occurrence but when it does happen, we take full responsibility and will endeavour to find a solution."
I could automate that pretty easily, keyed off a really basic word recognition from your complaint. Or even just you selecting 'delivery problem' from the 'what is the nature of your complaint and cross referenceing it to the order.
Well, so far I've never had a problem with Royal Mail / Parcelforce. They've always been excellent - though I suspect their parcel delivery guy may knock a little too quickly & quietly before putting his "We called and you were out" card through the door for some people's tastes. Personally though I'm usually out so having them hold it at the office in Erdington (there's always a parcel office somewhere close wherever I've lived) is no biggie - I just pop up the road & get it, a 5 minute round trip. If DHL mess up I have to chase them, they don't provide me any info, and if in the end I have to get it from their depot, because it's Sutton Coldfield instead of central Brum, the depot is in Lichfield, about 30 miles away. Major bloody hassle.
They just replied to this with the same template again!
It's like going up to a service desk and saying "This is crap, this doesn't work!" and they say "We're sorry you find this crap, but we find this to be excellent!" and then you say "But it's not excellent because a, b, d, d..." and they reply cheerily "We're sorry you find this crap, but we find this to be excellent!"
Comments 6
(The comment has been removed)
Customer: I wish to complain about THING
Amazon: cat /var/mail/complaintsdept | sed s/.*(list|of|THINGS).*/\1 is bloody excellent, so ner!/ > outgoing_mail_bucket (roughly)
Reply
"We find the service offered by [DelveryCompany_Name] to be excellent and this is primarily the reason why we are using their services. The vast
majority of our orders are usually delivered well within the expected
delivery time, however, occasionally a package may be damaged or
delayed, perhaps even lost during the delivery process. This is not a
common occurrence but when it does happen, we take full
responsibility and will endeavour to find a solution."
I could automate that pretty easily, keyed off a really basic word recognition from your complaint. Or even just you selecting 'delivery problem' from the 'what is the nature of your complaint and cross referenceing it to the order.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
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no matter how good or crap, by now, more than 4 people will have complained.
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It's like going up to a service desk and saying "This is crap, this doesn't work!" and they say "We're sorry you find this crap, but we find this to be excellent!" and then you say "But it's not excellent because a, b, d, d..." and they reply cheerily "We're sorry you find this crap, but we find this to be excellent!"
Oh... Jesus... Post about this to come shortly...
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