In keeping with my post about evolution...
If you're easily offended by religious stuff, especially irreverent pokings of fun combined with a slight bit of cynicism, I suggest not looking under the cut.
I was reading the Discworld novel 'Men At Arms', and I read the snippet below. It regards the untimely demise of 'Big Fido', the Head Barker of the Dog's Guild, during an attempt to jump rooftop-to-rooftop to chase a werewolf when he, in fact, was a rather insane homicidal poodle. Amazingly, he died not of lycanthropic maceration, but instead of a horrific case of ground with multiple complications.
Please note the underlined parts, as they will be used below.
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There were, eventually, two theories about the end of Big Fido.
The one put forward by the dog Gaspode, based on observational evidence, was that his remains were picked up by Foul Ole Ron and sold within five minutes to a furrier, and that Big Fido eventually saw the light of day again as a set of ear muffs and a pair of fleecy gloves.
The one believed by every other dog, based on what might tentatively be called "the truth of the heart", was that he survived his fall, fled the city, and eventually led a huge pack of mountain wolves who nightly struck terror into isolated farmsteads. It made digging in the middens and hanging around back doors for scraps seem... well, more bearable. They were, after all, only doing it until Big Fido came back.
His collar was kept in a secret place and visited regularly by dogs until they forgot about it.
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While reading this, I found my mind spontaneously rewriting this section. The rewrite is as follows - see why I underlined things? :P
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There were, eventually, two theories about the end of Jesus.
The one put forward by the greatest minds of our time, based on scientific evidence and logical inference, was that his remains could possibly have been picked up by Joseph of Arimathea and dumped in a cave, and that Jesus three days later saw the light of day again as a fantasy book hero and a set of bone cutlery.
The one believed by every Christian, based on what might tentatively be called "faith", was that he survived three days of exposure and heavy blood loss before dying, was resurrected by divine providence, and eventually will lead a huge pack of white-robed undead who nightly will strike terror into just about everyone. It made wars in the Middle East and Ethiopians dying of starvation seem... well, more bearable. They were, after all, only doing it until Jesus came back.
His blood-cup was kept in a secret place and visited regularly by Christians until they forgot about it.
I was reading the Discworld novel 'Men At Arms', and I read the snippet below. It regards the untimely demise of 'Big Fido', the Head Barker of the Dog's Guild, during an attempt to jump rooftop-to-rooftop to chase a werewolf when he, in fact, was a rather insane homicidal poodle. Amazingly, he died not of lycanthropic maceration, but instead of a horrific case of ground with multiple complications.
Please note the underlined parts, as they will be used below.
-------
There were, eventually, two theories about the end of Big Fido.
The one put forward by the dog Gaspode, based on observational evidence, was that his remains were picked up by Foul Ole Ron and sold within five minutes to a furrier, and that Big Fido eventually saw the light of day again as a set of ear muffs and a pair of fleecy gloves.
The one believed by every other dog, based on what might tentatively be called "the truth of the heart", was that he survived his fall, fled the city, and eventually led a huge pack of mountain wolves who nightly struck terror into isolated farmsteads. It made digging in the middens and hanging around back doors for scraps seem... well, more bearable. They were, after all, only doing it until Big Fido came back.
His collar was kept in a secret place and visited regularly by dogs until they forgot about it.
------
While reading this, I found my mind spontaneously rewriting this section. The rewrite is as follows - see why I underlined things? :P
------
There were, eventually, two theories about the end of Jesus.
The one put forward by the greatest minds of our time, based on scientific evidence and logical inference, was that his remains could possibly have been picked up by Joseph of Arimathea and dumped in a cave, and that Jesus three days later saw the light of day again as a fantasy book hero and a set of bone cutlery.
The one believed by every Christian, based on what might tentatively be called "faith", was that he survived three days of exposure and heavy blood loss before dying, was resurrected by divine providence, and eventually will lead a huge pack of white-robed undead who nightly will strike terror into just about everyone. It made wars in the Middle East and Ethiopians dying of starvation seem... well, more bearable. They were, after all, only doing it until Jesus came back.
His blood-cup was kept in a secret place and visited regularly by Christians until they forgot about it.