OK, I don't really feel like Wonder Woman ...
but I needed to see this icon again because it makes me happy.
I've been putting a lot of hours at lab lately. For the past week or so, I have been going home between 8 and 10 pm in the evening (when usually I arrive at lab around 9 am). It's on days like this that I come to realize how easy graduate school is for my colleagues. They don't have to rush through an experiment because they usually don't have anything pressing to do on weeknights ... and weekends for that matter. So they can take their sweet time making sure the experiment is done right. At the same time, they can get multiple experiments done in one day since they can stay longer. So they are able to achieve more in a shorter span of time.
Surprisingly, even after my hectic schedule during the past three months (see previous entry on this), all the cabinets in my house are finally organized and clean, the house is clean, the laundry is done and put away, the dishes are done, and I have extra leftover in the fridge so I don't need to cook dinner tomorrow. In addition, it's been my daughter's summer break and my husband has been at home two days during the week. So I don't feel too guilty about leaving my daughter with my "babysitters", her grandparents (my 'rents) for too long because the husband is there. Thus, I have had the luxury of taking my time in the lab even if it means going home so late. I may be tired but I come home feeling accomplished since I got a lot of stuff done. And it sure feels good. Usually, I do not have this luxury since I am usually rushing home to (1) make dinner for the kiddo and hubby, (2) take care of the kiddo and hubby, (3) finish chores around the house (which never end), and/or (4) one family commitment or another (youth group night, girl scout night, dance class, piano class, swim class, parents' night at school, etc).
And so I came to realize how much I can achieve at work if I wasn't a wife and mother. But then, I get hugs and kisses from two people at the end of the day, guaranteed. I feel proud whenever my daughter does well in school or behaves well when other kids around her are not doing so (like if we are in a party or out shopping). I have been blessed with a beautiful, smart, compassionate, and caring child. I have a warm body (or bodies, depending if the kiddo gets nightmares that night) to snuggle to at the end of a tiring day. I always have someone I can talk to about my day, my joy, my worries, and yes, even chores. And yeah, I live with my best friend who drives me nuts once in a while. But I am confident in the knowledge that at the end of the day, he wants to do what makes ME happy, even if it's to sacrifice his own joy (albeit sometimes begrudgingly).
So it's fun to sometimes be more scientist than mom. And sometimes, it hard to be more mom than scientist. But I will not regret taking longer to graduate than my contemporaries. Because I may be slower than the rest of them, more tired than the rest of them, dumber than the rest of them (since I don't have time to read and keep updated on the latest research), but "scientist's" achievements can never, ever replace the joy of being "mom".
I've been putting a lot of hours at lab lately. For the past week or so, I have been going home between 8 and 10 pm in the evening (when usually I arrive at lab around 9 am). It's on days like this that I come to realize how easy graduate school is for my colleagues. They don't have to rush through an experiment because they usually don't have anything pressing to do on weeknights ... and weekends for that matter. So they can take their sweet time making sure the experiment is done right. At the same time, they can get multiple experiments done in one day since they can stay longer. So they are able to achieve more in a shorter span of time.
Surprisingly, even after my hectic schedule during the past three months (see previous entry on this), all the cabinets in my house are finally organized and clean, the house is clean, the laundry is done and put away, the dishes are done, and I have extra leftover in the fridge so I don't need to cook dinner tomorrow. In addition, it's been my daughter's summer break and my husband has been at home two days during the week. So I don't feel too guilty about leaving my daughter with my "babysitters", her grandparents (my 'rents) for too long because the husband is there. Thus, I have had the luxury of taking my time in the lab even if it means going home so late. I may be tired but I come home feeling accomplished since I got a lot of stuff done. And it sure feels good. Usually, I do not have this luxury since I am usually rushing home to (1) make dinner for the kiddo and hubby, (2) take care of the kiddo and hubby, (3) finish chores around the house (which never end), and/or (4) one family commitment or another (youth group night, girl scout night, dance class, piano class, swim class, parents' night at school, etc).
And so I came to realize how much I can achieve at work if I wasn't a wife and mother. But then, I get hugs and kisses from two people at the end of the day, guaranteed. I feel proud whenever my daughter does well in school or behaves well when other kids around her are not doing so (like if we are in a party or out shopping). I have been blessed with a beautiful, smart, compassionate, and caring child. I have a warm body (or bodies, depending if the kiddo gets nightmares that night) to snuggle to at the end of a tiring day. I always have someone I can talk to about my day, my joy, my worries, and yes, even chores. And yeah, I live with my best friend who drives me nuts once in a while. But I am confident in the knowledge that at the end of the day, he wants to do what makes ME happy, even if it's to sacrifice his own joy (albeit sometimes begrudgingly).
So it's fun to sometimes be more scientist than mom. And sometimes, it hard to be more mom than scientist. But I will not regret taking longer to graduate than my contemporaries. Because I may be slower than the rest of them, more tired than the rest of them, dumber than the rest of them (since I don't have time to read and keep updated on the latest research), but "scientist's" achievements can never, ever replace the joy of being "mom".