Mentor issues
I might have had an epiphany about my mentor and our relationship. See, she's a very social person. So am I. For the most part, we make small talk quite easily. I just have to remember that while I shop at Macy's, she shops at Neiman Marcus. So Walmart talk is not a go. But that's OK.
But when it comes to science talk, I am always so self-consious around her and afraid of making mistakes. And it makes for nerve-wracking meetings with her, which I avoid. And avoiding these meetings is disadvantageous for me. I need a mentor and my mentor needs to know I am actually working and not just always stalking LJ and FB. I also need input on my work, and she is the most qualified to give it to me.
So I walked in there this morning and asked her about an experiment I was planning to conduct. She gave her two cents on it. Then I told her my progress on some other work I was doing. She gave her suggestions on why things weren't working. One time I slipped and said genotyping rather than sequencing. She gave me a weird look. So I corrected myself. And you know what? It was all mental. When I didn't friggin care about looking like an idiot in front of her, my stress was gone and I felt better about myself and our meeting. Plus, I think she was satisfied with my progress.
I just have to remember these things:
1. She knows more than me right now, she's my mentor. So I should accept that fact. And it's her job to teach me the things I don't know.
2. I shouldn't feel bad about looking like an idiot in front of her since she knows I am a student and still need to learn things.
3. As a mentor, she will always have (and required) suggestions to make things better. So it's not personal. Like an editor needs to nit-pick, so does she.
4. She likes the fact that I run my ideas/experiments by her before I perform them (it seems like). I may look like an idiot when she says that one thing might not work that I thought it would, but I think it makes her feel better and feel more involved in my work.
Once I keep these in mind, maybe I'll actually have a decent, non-stress inducing relationship with my mentor after all. I know all of these things are quite common-sensical and obvious, but it's hard to keep them in mind when you're worried about projecting your best self to people that matter.
But when it comes to science talk, I am always so self-consious around her and afraid of making mistakes. And it makes for nerve-wracking meetings with her, which I avoid. And avoiding these meetings is disadvantageous for me. I need a mentor and my mentor needs to know I am actually working and not just always stalking LJ and FB. I also need input on my work, and she is the most qualified to give it to me.
So I walked in there this morning and asked her about an experiment I was planning to conduct. She gave her two cents on it. Then I told her my progress on some other work I was doing. She gave her suggestions on why things weren't working. One time I slipped and said genotyping rather than sequencing. She gave me a weird look. So I corrected myself. And you know what? It was all mental. When I didn't friggin care about looking like an idiot in front of her, my stress was gone and I felt better about myself and our meeting. Plus, I think she was satisfied with my progress.
I just have to remember these things:
1. She knows more than me right now, she's my mentor. So I should accept that fact. And it's her job to teach me the things I don't know.
2. I shouldn't feel bad about looking like an idiot in front of her since she knows I am a student and still need to learn things.
3. As a mentor, she will always have (and required) suggestions to make things better. So it's not personal. Like an editor needs to nit-pick, so does she.
4. She likes the fact that I run my ideas/experiments by her before I perform them (it seems like). I may look like an idiot when she says that one thing might not work that I thought it would, but I think it makes her feel better and feel more involved in my work.
Once I keep these in mind, maybe I'll actually have a decent, non-stress inducing relationship with my mentor after all. I know all of these things are quite common-sensical and obvious, but it's hard to keep them in mind when you're worried about projecting your best self to people that matter.