Challenge 25: Voting Part One
Challenge 35: Voting Part One
This is the voting for the This Just In challenge! Please pick your top three in each category.
I tried to keep original formatting where I could! Also, please don't vote on fandom; but on the one you like best/think is best written.
Voting ends August 21st
Breaking News
1. Crushing news this morning as a 19 year old girl was found dead in the streets. It appears that a large rectangular object (about the size of a phone booth) fell on top of her during the night. Detectives looking into the incident revealed the girl had traces of blue paint on her clothing and many mini peppermints surrounded her body. They do not know if the clues are legitimate or planted there by alien forces. The attack has left citizens afraid to use phone booths while sucking on hard candies. If you have any information on the incident, please contact local authorities.
2. Dear citizens of metropolis, this reporter has the scoop to beat all scoops. Clark Kent, bumbling fool extraordinaire, is none other than the infamous red blue blur.
This mild mannered farm boy turned reporter has been living a well-hidden double life. Though dopey and somewhat heroic as his daytime alter ego, our boy Clark takes to the skies to battle evil and fight injustice as none other than the well known and much loved crime fighter that we have come to know as the red blue blur.
As a damsel that was once in distress, this cape is a true hero. So we say to Clark Kent, "Thanks for all the saves. And can you please come up with a better name for yourself?"
3. It happened in the early hours of the morning. During the second guard change in front of Buckingham Palace, a blue, wooden police box seemingly appeared out of thin air. After a quiet few seconds, a man in a pinstriped suit and two women (one with blond and in her early twenties and one ginger, early forties) stepped out of the rectangular box and began shooting about with what looked like cheap children water pistols. Witnessing all this, the renowned Palace Guards for the first time in recorded history shot apart and ran for their lives. The investigation is still on-going.
4. Defense Secretary Walter Bishop’s son, who went missing in 1985, has been reported found. A source close to the Secretary says that Peter Bishop, who is now 31, “just seemed to appear out of nowhere”. Peter mysteriously disappeared 25 years ago. The case attracted national attention after the Bishops offered a large reward for information leading to their child’s recovery. Neither the FBI nor local police ever arrested a suspect in the case, though both Secretary Bishop and his wife, Elizabeth, were taken in several times for extensive questioning. It is unknown at this time if Peter suffered any trauma, or even where he has been for the past 25 years. Secretary Bishop’s office did not return a phone call seeking comment.
5. Released out of Washington D.C. this afternoon, comes the news that numerous governments around the world have been covering up the existance of aliens for many years. The U.S. military is in possession of a device called a Stargate that allows for travel to other planets by stepping through a stone ring. There have been numberous occasions where our lives were in danger from alien attacks without our knowledge. A few friendly aliens that have come through the Stargate have been living on Earth, posing as citizens for many years. Take a good look at the people around you. Any of them can be an alien.
6. Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise beamed down to what was believed to be a friendly planet with his regular landing party earlier today, comprising of Mr. Spock, Lieutenant Sulu, and a red shirt that didn’t have time to confirm his name or rank. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a friendly planet willing to trade with Starfleet. Sources say the Natives managed to quickly separate the Captain from his team, and reportedly locked him in a tower. The rest of the team put up a fight, Mr. Sulu managed to take a few of them down with his Katana, but they were quickly overcome. The red shirt was an unfortunate casualty in the altercation.
We will bring you more details on this emergency situation as soon as they come to hand.
7. Breaking news! Olivia Dunham seen with a new hairstyle AND a new male friend!
Reports says Olivia was seen on a local diner, craving some serious hot sauce on her hamburger. But, she was not alone! A man dressed in a suit and a hat, was seen carrying a suitcase and hand in hand with miss Dunham.
Has she gotten over the loss of her former fianceè and co-worker Peter "Hot stuff" Bishop? And what does Walter Bishop, Peter's dad think about this? Find out in the next number of Star!Magazine out Monday, next week!
If you have any pictures of this meeting, please send them to starmagazine@altmail.com
8. Children frightened at science center.
Boston Children's Science Center is a wonderful place for children to learn, but parents didn't have flesh-eating monsters in mind when they visited yesterday afternoon.
Dr. Walter Bishop, a biochemist and Harvard graduate, regaled some children with tales of the Victoria, the first ship to successfully circumnavigate the world in the early 1500s. This might sound like a good lesson, but Dr. Bishop's idea of a child-appropriate lecture differs somewhat from the norm.
"I assumed it was about geography," says one mother who prefers to remain anonymous. "Then suddenly he's talking about children being eaten by monsters under the bed."
"He wasn't authorized to lecture at our center," says science center employee, Lisa Marshall. "He was a regular visitor. Somehow he attracted a crowd."
Only 18 of the 265 men who set out on the Victoria returned alive. According to Marshall, when one little girl asked what happened to the others, Dr. Bishop bluntly stated, "They all died, young lady. Horrible and most likely painful deaths."
"Then he was talking about monsters," says Marshall. "[He said] if you go looking for them, you'll be eaten. He wasn't joking, either; he was dead serious. It was like a warning. He said something about 'the stomach sack of the creature'. What does that even mean?"
"Children are so impressionable," says another outraged parent, Harold Lieder. "He seemed like a professor or something, we all thought he was supposed to be there. Where's the security? I certainly won't be bringing my daughter back here."
"He's harmless, really," says Astrid Farnsworth, Dr. Bishop's assistant. "He's a very smart man, he just sometimes doesn't filter what comes out of his mouth."
Dr. Bishop stands by his words.
"We do our children a disservice, shielding them from the truth," says Bishop. "There are things in this world you can scarcely fathom, let alone protect your families from. You yourself may fall victim to something terrible, and then where will your children be? We must arm them for what is coming."
What's coming is still a mystery; when asked to elaborate, Dr. Bishop became distracted and wandered off.
Dr. Bishop was recently released from St. Clair's Hospital, a mental institution where he was a patient from 1991 to 2008. Bishop's season pass to the science center has been revoked.
9. CAPRICA NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
CAPRICA CITY, CAPRICA. Although the cylons have been quiet for years, they’ve come roaring back, with vengeance. Caprica City has been devastated by the cylon attacks, and this is likely our last publication. “We thought their silence was a good thing,” reports Secretary of Defense Paul Anslow. “As it happens, we were wrong.” Reports from around the Twelve Colonies cite much of the same damage. Thus far, there has been no lead as to how the cylons were able to conduct such an attack, or, perhaps a question of higher importance, why they are staging these attacks. A Caprica news correspondent reports that when the cylons were created by man, they were made in “many copies.” It seems that they have somehow evolved and rebelled, and that they “have a plan.” These reports remain unconfirmed.
10. Jack the Ripper in Old City!
Yesterday was found another dead prostitute near the Old City River. Her throat was slashed and she was left to bleed to death. The way of killing is more similar to Jack the Ripper murders than any of the previous copy murderer. The new chief of Old City PD had already required all original documents from the murders from 1888 and arose more suspicion between the people. More patrols were placed around the river and all places that have the unlucky fame filled with prostitution. Although all three victims were confirmed to work in this business, the police released a warning not to walk in these places in the night. We will bring you more news in tomorrow’s edition when you can also find an exclusive interview with the new police chief.
11. Breaking News! A new humanoid cylon has been identified. Two copies of the man known as "Brother Cavil" were discovered and put out of an airlock this morning. Pictures are being circulated throughout the fleet. If you see another copy of this man, please contact the nearest military or government personnel and inform them of the situation. The cylon may be armed and is considered very dangerous, so for your own safety, please do not attempt to detain or kill him yourself. The military will dispose of the model as soon as possible, with the safety of the human population as it's top priority.
12. With a string of murders following a path of destruction in Whitehapel it's feared that someone may be picking up where Britains most infamous killer, Jack the Ripper, left off. With the bodies of two prostitutes found brutally slain Scotland Yard are working hard to find the killer, whom has been said to know intimate, unreleased details of the killings. It's been over 100 years since the killings of Jack the Ripper hit the streets of London. How many more lives will this copy cat take and how is it that the killer knows so much? Will Londons streets return to safety once again? We'll update you with more.
13. True facts and breaking news just in from some random source of actual information that will make your brain explode. The judging has been completed, the votes have been cast and counted…and it is finally official: Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace is, in fact, the most smokin’ hot woman in the entire universe. Yes, we checked them all…just to be sure. It took a lot of time and an extensive panel of experts but the final conclusion was agreed upon by all. We have been unable to locate Miss Thrace to announce the happy news and give our congratulations, but we are pretty sure she already knows. Since, you know, she owns a mirror.
14. Photographic evidence confirms that Lieutenant Commander Worf of NCC1701-D, the Enterprise, is bald.
The news came today as Ensign Wesley Crusher posted a picture he took when he entered Worf's quarters this morning at 0500 hours to wake the Lt. Commander. His tweet read "Just when I thought I'd seen everything, Worf.. wears a Toupee? [Twitpic ommitted]".
When questioned about Crusher's discovery, Worf said "It would be more dishonorable to deny the truth that I am, in fact, bald." Worf's concern of course that like some Humans, Klingons believe lying guarantees their descent into Gre'Thor in the afterlife.
The twitpic has circulated among almost all of the Enterprise crew who have taken to calling him 'Lt. Commander Clean'. Captain Jean-Luc Picard commented, "You know, I narrowly escaped the nick name 'Q-ball' when I was promoted to Captain. Your shipmates, can be brutal."
15. Dolls!! They've been turned into dolls! Everyone, this has officially turned into a city crisis. Please report to the planned city shelters and remember to take your survival packs!! Proceed in a calm and organized manner, preferably on foot as most of the main streets are victims to traffic-jams. The big... alien.. monster is currently on Main Street and Jefferson, it seems to be.. looking for more people.. turning the citizens into dolls.. you heard it here folks, dolls! Regular barbies and kens everywhere, it's not safe to be out on the streets so please try and make it out to the shelters as quick as possible and.. oh my God.. there's a child there!! There's two, there's children!! There! There!! Next to the monster- it's coming this way - we have to--
16. Breaking news! A prison transfer went awry today and a leviathan transport was taken over by the three criminals imprisoned in her. We have been told it's an Hynerian, a Delvian and a Luxan. Their respective crimes have not been disclosed, but we know for a fact that only the worst criminals end up on leviathans.
The prisoners were aided by a mystery pilot in an unidentified spacecraft and the unsucessful struggle to regain control of the ship claimed one innocent life. Another pilot is missing and is feared to have been taken hostage by the prisoners.
If you have any information on the whereabouts of these fugitives, please contact Peacekeeper Command. Do not engage the fugitives as they are considered highly dangerous.
17. Browncoats crushed at Serenity Valley, Unification Day finally approaches!
Many members of the Independence forces - the so-called “Browncoats” - of the Unification War were taken following a lengthy attrition battle in Serenity Valley this Friday. The skill of the Alliance - those fighting for a strong Union of the Aligned Planets - won out over the barbarism of their opponents by deftly forcing submission after Browncoat air support fled upon reaching battle. Though the Alliance encouraged the enemy to surrender unequivocally, they were forced to meet most Browncoats with deadly force, as their opponents savagely attempted to maintain ground with brutal tactics. As a result, only a handful of POWs have been taken in. This is being hailed as a major victory for the Alliance and that an end of hostilities must surely be in sight.
Several arrest warrants have also been issued to fugitive Browncoat members, who abandoned their comrades to escape battle. Most notably, Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds and his second, known merely as Zoe, have been charged with war crimes. If found, they are to be treated as armed and extremely dangerous. Notify your local authorities and do not engage.
18. Atlantis, Lantea
There is new information on the soldier who went missing nearly one month ago. The soldier, Lieutenant Aiden Ford, left Atlantis though the StarGate in dramatic fashion after being exposed to large quantities of a Wraith enzyme, causing him to become mentally imbalance. There have been rumours of his presence on numerous planets, but no confirmation until now.
Eye witnesses report seeing a man fitting Lt. Ford's description at a local village Inn on MRZ-33X. According to the witness Ford was attempting to recruit men into joining him for a mission using promises of power to persuade them.
We do not have any knowledge of the mission Lt. Ford is planning nor where he went after leaving MRZ-33X.
19. Yesterday the Galaxy stood still as a shockwave of explosions occurred across all twelve colonies. The smell of death and destruction permeated the air according to the few who were able to survive and escape. Those lucky enough to be off world now face the difficult task of deciding how best to move forward with no where to go. Currently, the number of survivors is known to be in the mere thousands. If anyone did survive on the colonies, there is little hope for rescue at this time.
It is unsure to the public at large exactly what has occurred, though according to an anonymous source, the remaining government and military are well aware of the assailant’s identities. The only choice given is to wait and count on the leadership of newly appointed President Laura Roslin and Commander William Adama.
20. It appears that in the events of last night, people have been reporting some serious allegation about intruders appearing out of thin air.
A witness tries to explain what he saw “well, er, they were people coming, like, out of nowhere in the street… it was surreal! I don’t know exactly what they were, maybe aliens?”
Our specialists assure us that if aliens were to come to our planet, they would have done it long ago! So what are they, Humans? No reporter actually managed to get a real identification of what people saw, testimonies vary from one city to another, not to mention that the high authorities at the Fringe Division are trying to cover this up as some kind of global magic trick.
We’re still investigating.
21. The True Antares Mission
November 12th, 2052
by Trevor Williams
Since long before the Antares ship took off only three months ago there have been whispers of the Bertram Corporation and their involvement with the ISO. It has just been confirmed by anonymous members within the organization that last week’s broadcast of Zoe Barnes collecting rocks was a hoax. The footage originated from a training day in the Arizona desert.
This can only be taken to mean that the Antares mission is not simple one of exploration. What is Bertram covering up? What is the true nature of this multi-billion dollar expedition? The general public has a right to know.
22. THE COLONIAL BULLETIN
BALTAR WINS RACE FOR VP
by Playa Palacois
Dr Gaius Baltar, the honorable representative of Caprica emerged victorious in the recent election for Vice President over Sagittaron Representative Tom Zarek. The dashingly brilliant now Vice President Doctor Baltar was quite humble in his victory. Baltar more renowned for his scientific brilliance, has proven to be an apt politician.
In the early stages of the race Baltar, voiced his support for President Laura Roslin’s choice, in a moving speech, that left many close to tears.
Given his natural brilliance for public inspirational speaking, and Wally Grey clearly trailing Zarek in the polls, Laura Roslin submitted Baltar’s name as her running mate.
With this newly acquired position, his already widely acknowledged brilliance and dashing good looks, this reporter can only look forward to the many favorable traits that Dr Baltar will bring to an already strong administration.
23. Coffee Crook On The Loose
By: Getty Folger
There was a disturbance in the downtown area last night at Cafe Diem. An unnamed source inside the Sheriff's Department reveals that the police were contacted at around 2:30am early this morning after loud noises were heard coming from the cafe, which was closed at the time. When Sheriff Jack Carter and Deputy Andy arrived on the scene, the owner of Cafe Diem, Vincent, was already picking through the wreckage.
"They trashed the place!" Vincent's AI clone told reporters. Among items stolen in the apparent robbery were two self-cleaning, self-reheating china coffee mugs sporting the Cafe Diem logo, an ion-propelled trash clean-up robot, and an automated, self-aware espresso machine. There was also several thousand dollars in property damage.
"I'd say we have a coffee fiend on the loose," a curious bystander was overheard saying. Indeed, and the suspects are numerous. The authorities ask that you not attempt to handle the perpetrator alone, if someone is seen in possession of the stolen items. "It's too dangerous to get between a caffeine addict and their coffee," Sheriff Carter told reporters. "Just call us and let the professionals handle it."
24. A Miracle Day in Eureka
Today miraculous things have been happening all over Eureka. Jo Lupo managed to get full eight hours of training at the shooting range. And Zane actually spent the whole eight hours he’s supposed to work in a day working - he did an honest day of work. Vincent didn’t have to evacuate the café, not even once! And no one had to use tables as shields either. At all. Taggart was playing with his animals and they were behaving. No one was attacked! Zoe came home from school and the only interesting thing she had to tell Lexi and SARAH about her day was that the new guy was flirting with her and Lucas was jealous. Not even a tiny, itsy-bitsy disaster caused in any of the classes! And perhaps even more miraculously, SARAH didn’t try to fix that in her own special manner. And Lexi didn’t meet any superheroes or anything. She just spent the day recycling and planting trees and having fun. Then there’s Henry. He spent the day fixing cars. Yes, you read that right, cars. Allison and Tess were also doing their job - they were supervising a top secret experiment in Global Dynamics. And it went great. And there were no side effects on the town! And Fargo was there too. And he didn’t almost get killed! And where was Carter during all this you ask? Carter first went around town, expecting something to happen. Then after a few hours he persuaded himself (it took him a while but he managed) that maybe he does have a few hours to relax, have a beer and watch a game before his help is needed. And a few more hours later Carter was bored. Yes, Carter managed to get bored. In Eureka. On a day of a great experiment. Amazing, right? Miraculous even?
Cause today, in Eureka, nothing went wrong. Nothing at all. I don’t know about you my dear readers but after today, I believe in miracles.
25. This just in.
Strange happenings around town have authorizes stumped. Last night, a string of strange reports started piling into the emergency call center, leaving the police force taxed and undermanned.
It seems, people across town have reported break ins to their homes by such mythological creatures as werewolves, vampires and a neon green unicorn with red eyes. One person has even reported that Freddy Krueger was after them.
Whether this is a case of an elaborate joke, hooligans terrorizing the neighborhood or some psychedelic drug has yet to be determined. All that is currently known is that the incident is thought to come to an end sometime after 3am.
Mayor Miller will be holding a press conference at 11am to address these disturbing events.
26. LAST MINUTE COMEBACK RESULTS IN SURPRISE 2-1 WIN FOR THE TAU’RI
Today’s match between the Goa’uld and the Tau’ri ended in a shocking last second win for the Tau’ri. Initial offensive maneuvers left the Tau’ri trailing in the first quarter, and a strong mothership presence in the second seemed to virtually assure Goa’uld victory. When archaeologist Daniel Jackson died with only two minutes remaining in the third, all seemed lost.
Colonel Jack O’Neill led the Tau’ri team, utilizing a time-honoured technique of deus ex machina in the last minutes of the match. With Dr. Jackson back on his feet, the team squeezed out an eleventh hour victory against the strong Goa’uld lineup.
The win leaves the Tau’ri in first place in this week’s rankings. Next week’s game against the Replicators should prove interesting!
27. Doctor Daniel Jackson was recently kidnapped on a mission to the Pegasus Galaxy. The thief, a sexy female alien, beamed his shipmates to a nearby vessel and fled with both The Prometheus and the archeologist. The doctor was tied up, beaten up, and thoroughly kissed before finally gaining the upper hand and regaining control over the ship. The sexy female alien did, however, manage to escape and was overheard by some of the guards as saying that she was looking forward to their next date. As for Doctor Jackson, he seemed both confused and in awe of the space pirate or, as he referred to her, the fruitcake.
28. The streets of downtown Tucson area was rattled late this afternoon. Around 3:40 PM, the office building of Rossum Corporation was evacuated of all personnel. As the last of the employees were successfully cleared, the 53rd floor was ravaged from an explosion that was located in the company's East Wing.
Not only is Rossum Corporation known for its outstanding achievements in neuroscience research, but for its secrecy as well. We've attempted to contact various company executives, none have been available for interview.
While further reports remain inconclusive, there are suspicions that this incident relates to Senator Daniel Perrin's recent accusations against the company. Perrin presented evidence before the Senate, suggesting that Rossum Corporation be charged for illegal experimentation on humans. Although Perrin later withdrew his allegations, there has been a lingering uproar among several human welfare organizations. More on this later.
29. So Tess, you remember her right, small, blond, literally from out of this world. Well as it turns out in her former life her and Max were married, and in her determination to get him back and get them back to their home planet she mind rapes Max's girlfriends Liz's best friend Alex and ends up killing him.
Of course she can't get found out so she mind rapeps Liz'z former boyfriend and her newly dubbed adoptive brother Kyle into dragging is body into a car and sets it up as a car accident.
See people start thinking Alex killed himself, and it that time Tess is pregnant with Max's baby and they and Michale and Isabel are about to fly off to a galazy unknown.
Only Liz finds out, Max gets pissed off, and Tess leaves the planet along taking Max's unborn son with him.
See, small towns can be fun, especially when they are named Roswell, New Mexico. This journalist wonders if the baby is going to be born with a tale and 6 eyes, now that baby picture would be worth buying.
30. Yesterday morning, on the planet of Ts'dl'r, a Federation doctor by the name of Leonard McCoy was arrested under several charges of theft, kidnapping, assault, and resisting arrest.
Police claim that McCoy is actually a notorious intergalactic criminal whose been on the top of their most wanted list for years.
When reached in prison for comment, McCoy's only defense was, "Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a space pirate."
McCoy's superior officer, Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, assured reporters that the whole thing was a case of mistaken identity, and noted that "we're all going to laugh about this tomorrow."
"Sure, it could be a mistaken identity," police Chief Fr't'ln said. "It's not unheard of for someone's clone or parallel universe counterpart to get mixed up in something like this. But we can't take our chances with something like this."
31. This just in - the silent if slightly spooky solitude of the Uncharted Territories was shattered today when the supposedly secret Gammak Base of the Peacekeeper's sneaky science sector was 'sploded in a spectacular show of sabotage, saturating the night sky of Sabena's second satellite for six solid arns. Scarran spy activity has been speculated, sounding screams of distress in charted and uncharted territories alike. Could this be the beginning of all out war? What were the Sebacean scientist sussing out in this quiet corner of the galaxy? And why has Captain Bylar Crais changed his hair care routine? Peacekeeper high command declined to comment.
32. In other news, Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox has again been apprehended in relation to his theft of the star ship Heart of Gold fifteen cycles ago. However, once again, he will not face a trial for his crime. Apparently, Ford Prefect and a member of an endangered species, a human, known as Arthur Dent freed him from the galaxy's highest security prison using a single video loop and three hairpins, allegedly obtained from one Trillian's personal belongings. A note of apology was left by Arthur Dent, providing the only material evidence of this event. In the note, he explains that he would not have freed President Beeblebrox at all had “saving the Universe or some such nonsense” not depended upon this act.
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