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[scl1106]

I realize it's been awhile. I promise I'm alive. Lots been going on and I don't think I want to deal with it or think about it anymore. Just trying to get on with my life and trying to get back to the things that made me happy and trying to just be myself again. Harder then it sounds. Whatever. Check ya later.

Comments

[monkage]

Man oh man does that sound like me right now.
Hard to get back to what you know made you smile, but in the end its worth it. Sounds like you just had a life change to huh?

[scl1106]

Yeah, you could say that....although not to the extent of yours. I met someone about 7 months ago, we became very close, spending almost all our free time together and I feel in love with him. Feelings weren't exactly reciprocated, then we went through about a month's worth of drama where he fell in love with someone else and I kinda got left behind. We're attempting to salvage our friendship and I'm still not sure that's the best thing for me at this time...I don't know. Oh, and I bought a house at the end of March. So, I'm back to trying to figure out how to be alone again and what I used to do to make myself happy....I haven't been really happy in a long time. It's a long process...sometimes I just get tired of trying to think it all out and just want to go to bed. You know?

[monkage]

Yeah, but even if you go to bed it will sometimes get into your dreams. It most definatly sucks to have a 1 sided love. Through alot of the hurtful things my soon to be ex-wife has said, she basically let me know she hasn't loved me for a long time and was only pretending. Its sad how low some ppl can get, and drama always follows.

Salvage the friendship if you can I guess, but really could you ever forget all the bullshit?

[scl1106]

That's true, the dreams and nightmares finally ended about a week ago. I can't believe she would say those things, that's terrible. I can't believe how some people are sometimes.

We're taking the friendship thing slow. I told him that I'm not ready to spend all my free time with him again, and that I need space to figure everything out. Unfortunately we've become best friends...part of me doesn't want to lose that and part of me wants to say f*ck it. Done! You know? I doubt I'll ever forget...but I want to get over it.